Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Will Maupin's weekly. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1911-1912 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 15, 1911)
That's tunny." aald Mrs. Crockett.
-Mrs. Hamilton Hurtbart Dickson re
quests my presence at bridge Mon
day afternoon and she requests it in
the most expensive engraved old Eng
"Why funny T Inquired Crockett,
temporarily suspending the reading of
th sporting page. "Did you expect
ht to pick the letters in a pin or
make a transparency of it?"
Mrs. Crocket turned up her nose at
hint. "It is funny." she said, "because
1 hare not the slightest idea who Mrs.
Hamilton Hurlburt Dickson is have
Crocket laid down his paper. "Never
beard of her." he said.
-But think. Jimmy begged Mrs.
Crockett. "Was she on your list when
w seat our announcement cards?"
-She was not." sang Crockett in de
scending scale. "To the best of my
knowledge, she isn't the sister or
mother or relative of anybody I knovr
or ought to know. Why should she in
"Well, as to that, why shouldn't
she?" bristled Mrs. Crockett. "And
it's to be at tfcs Xonhedge dub. and
I'm dying to see inside of that
club. It's two weeis oX so it must
be a big party."
BEST ATTITUDE FOR SLEEP
WHY THEY LOVE THE LIBRARY
French Physician Says Position Which
On Finds Most Comfortable
As practically everyone is more or
less addicted to the habit of sleeping,
the question of the best and most
.healthful attitude during slumber Is of
general Importance. There is an an
cient and widespread idea that to
sleep o nthe left side interferes with
the heart action and is consequently
injurious and that to sleep on the
back develops the inclination to snore.
Modern authorities are not at all
agreed on the matter, however, one of
the greatest heart specialists declar
ing that It Is quite Immaterial whether
& person sleeps on the right or left
side, while another equally famous
doctor asserts emphatically that one
should always lie on the right side if
heart trouble and indigestoin is to be
avoided. Eliminating the question of
snoring a habit quite possible to
break one's self of there is littlo
doubt that the most restful position,
when once a person has become ac
customed to It, is flat upon the back,
using no pillow, and with the arms
above the head. This straightens
drooping shoulders and gives the lungs
However, this Is a matter in which
one may do as one pleases, and have
good authority therefor, as a very dis
tinguished French physician has dis
missed the subject by saying that the
best position for sleeping is that which,
a person finds most comfortable.
Such a Nice Place to Si V Especially
If One Has Agreeable
While pleasant weather lingered the
stone benches In front of the New
York public library were occupied by
couples whose presence could not be
attributed wholly to their interest In
the architectural scheme. They re
mained too long and their eyes spoke
of other things.
Since rain and chill winds have
made marble benches out of doors un
comfortable, even for ardent sweet
hearts, tbey are to be found on simi
lar seats which are placed for decora
tive purposes in the long corridors In
side the building.
"Dont you love the new library?"
one girl said to another.
"No; it takes too long to get the
"Well. I dont know about that. I
haven't drawn any books yet."
"What do you go there for. then?"
"Oh. it is &o lovely Just to sit there."
"No, not alone. .
-Well, why dont you go?" asked
Crockett- "You've got the ticket let
ting you in."
"Go to a party suven by an utterly
strange woman?" demanded Mrs.
Crockett. l have heard of women
who were social climbers inviting
women they wanted to get in with.
en if they ha-la't ev?r met them.
"Darlicg," interrupted Crockett. "I
ant foafU to blast your sweet illu
sions, but why should anyone as ex
pensive as Mrs. Hamilton Hurlburt
lu-ksun looks to be from her invi
tation card be sitUcg up nights plan
ning how to get acquainted with a
perfectly sweet laily living in a $43
flat and able to aSord one tailor gown
a J ear .
"AH this." said his wife, "comes
Trout having a legal mind! But I sim
ply dont understand! It is address
ed to my full nanio and the address
Mrs. Crockett stuck the card In her
dressing mirror so it would be handy
to ponder over. By diligent search
she found that Mrs. Hamilton Hurl
burt Dickson lived on a boulevard
quit near, and she walked by the
news without getting any further
clews. Every night she told Crockett
that she simply must find out about
the Invitation, so she could either ac
cept or decline It.
"I'd hate to orTc-J her by declining
It If It really is some one I ought to
know." she wailed. "But. of course.
I doat want to thrust myself upon her
if she doesnt know me! Consider
bow awkward it would be. Jimmy, for
a perfectly strange hostess to meet a
perfectly strange guest, and neither of
as have the slightest coamoa ground
to stand ca! We cant even ask how
each other's families are. because we
dont know who belongs to the fam
ilies,! They say that Xorthedge club
la perfectly beautiful. Of course I'm
ot so crazy to go that I want to ac
cept this iuT italic a. still and there's
my new wtvel dre&s. and this would
b such a good chance to wear it."
"Well, go oa asd go!" urged Crock
"Oh. 1 wculdnt dream of such a
laing!" cried h:$ wfe. "But do you
think it would be awful if I did? It
she's a&ked me she should take the
onseqt:encs. shouldn't she? Of courss
I shaat but. then dont you thin';
that last hat I got looks particularly
well with the velvet? I'm just dyias
for a good game of bridge ve got to
write my acceptance or regrets today,
that's all there is Jo it!"
That afternoon, as Mrs. Crockett sat
down at her writing desk, her sister-in-law
came In. She saw the car-i
from Mrs. Hamilton Hurlburt Dicksoa.
and reached out a casual hand, when
Mrs. Crockett told its story.
"Oh. that's meant for me!" she said.
"Mrs. Dickson is a bride, and I'm a
friend of her mother's and her moth
er la in Europe, and she didn't know
ray front name, so she looked in the
telephone book and when she found a
Crockett oa this street she thought the
first one must be I. I wouldn't have
missed that party at the Xorthedge
thsb for anything!"
Crockett heard about it that even
ing. "I'm awfully sorry " he sympa
thised, "when you wanted to go so
It was then that his wife exploded.
"Why, James Crockett!" she cried..
"Aa if I ever dr-r-eamed of going to
her old party! The Idea! I should
JOKE ON POLICE SERGEANT
Thought He Had Officer Trapped in
Undertaker's Shop When Pinocle
Game Was On.
"Here's the best joke I ever heard
on a sergeant." said a high official in
the police department. "He was go
ing tha rounds when he saw a police
man whom we'll call Mullaney go into
an undertaker's stop where there is
generally a pinocle game in the back
room. He knew there was no back
way out for Mullaney, so "rounds'
planted himself at the door and
"After a time he sent in word by
one of the men working in the shop
that he knew Mu'sney was In there
and that he had better come back on
post, because the longer he waited
the worse the complaint against him
"There was much commotion in the
back room, and as there were a num
ber of coffins being loaded on a wagon
outside they put Mullaney in a coffin
and loaded him on the wagon. They
drove him down the street a couple
of blocks and Mullaney climbed out.
He strolled back up to where the ser
geant was doggedly watching the
door and saluted.
'Hello, rounds, pleasant evening.
isnt it? he said, and the sergeant
stared for a moment and then stamp
ed away too mad to speak!" New
Had His Eye On the Boat.
Alexander Carr has a reputation as
a wit and story teller only equaled by
his reputation as an actor. His latest
story was told the other night and
runs as follows:
Two Hebraic gentlemen, friends of
long standing, went to the lake and
each hired a rowboat for a trial of
skill and strength. In the middle of
the lake one tipped over his boat and
sank from sight. Coming to the sur
face close to the bow of the other
boat he shouted:
"Ikey. Ikey, save me. I cant swim!"
Carefully holding the boat a few
feet away from his drowning friend.
the other looked on unmoved.
Again the unfortunate one sank be
low the surface, and as he came up
for the second time repeated his cries
A third time he came up. and then
as he started to disappear from sigh
for the third and last time, his friend-
"Abie, if you dont come up again:
can I have ycur boat?"
Wanted to See It Bloom.
Mabel Parr, just turned six. lives
a Lauderdale avenue, in Lakewood,
says the Cleveland Leader. Her"
mother, a Scientist, has been trou
bled for some days with a cold-sore,
much to her little daughter's concern.
When she could not longer restrain
her sympathy she turned Interroga
"Mother," she asked, pointing to
:he slight disfigurement, "what is
!hat you've got?"
"That's a rosebud, dear." said Mrs.
Mabel was silent and thoughtful all
die rest of the day. When she yield-
id to pressure she confessed she'd
een worrying about her mother.
Tve been thinking about that rose
Dud." she said, "and wondering why
:hat flower never blooms."
The introduction of Polish as a
course In the public schools of Chi
cago, by Superintendent Ella Flagg
Young. Is an Interesting experiment,
though some may regard it as a rash
one. There is a tendency among chil
dren of foreign parentage to drop
their native language, while it would
no doubt add to the general culture
of the rising generation in our large
cities if they would retain it along
with the prescribed studies. If the ex
periment is successful. Mrs. Young
proposes to follow it up with other
laasTJages. There are perhcrs 153.000
Poles in the city, but there are 14
tongues, each of which is spoken by
more than 10,000 persons. Xewspa
rers appear in ten languages and
church services are held in twenty.
In all there are forty different lan
guares of dialects employed to express
the thoughts, needs and emotions of
the population, Chicago is the second
largest Bohemian city in the worid,
the third Swedish, the fourth Norwe
gian, the fifth Polish and the fifth.
German. If all these are to be in
structed in their national language
and literature the city will eventually
need an Elihu Burritt or a George
P. Marsh to direct its educational ac
tivities. Boston Transcript.
Not a Motiotheist.
What might have been Oliver Her
ford's last witticism was delivered of
the poet-artist in a recent attack of
typhoid, when the malady was neap
ing its crisis. A frequent visitor was
a clergyman of his acquaintance, who,
leaving the sick room on this occa
sion, remarked cheerfully:
"Good by for the present, and God
be with you."
Mr. Hereford was unable to lift his
head from his pillow, but he respond
"The same to you and many of
"Did you sell your vote?"
"No. siree! I voted fur that feller
'cause I liked him."
"But I understand he gave you
"Well, when a man gives you $10
taint no more'n natural to like him.
is it?" Wshft.'rton !tr!r.
Will Maupin's Weekly $1 a Year
Read it. It will do you good.
ONLY SIX MORE
Our departments are filled with thousands
of good suggestions Jor suitable Xmas presents.
5I A ramble through our various departments
will be of great aid to you, both in regard to see
ing our splendid values and helping you in your
selection of Xmas presents.
q We have them in all prices for the people
in moderate circumstances, as well as the rich.
(I Our store is the most popular Xmas store
in town. Do not fail to pay us a visit before
Important to You
Select gifts for men here. Our purchase of the O. A.
Fulk elegant line of Furnishing Goods and Hats and
putting them on sale at
offers you an opportunity to buy just the kind of pres
ents that men appreciate at a big saving in price.
We have included in the sale all our high class Suits
"What I want to see." said tha ecoo
mist, "ts a system which will compel;
Isg enterprises to get out and
aght each other to a finish."
"la othr words, your Idea la that:
tha only way to prevent collusion, la to,
arrange a collision.'
Mr. Hoopah Youu de oaliest Ctrl I
evr loved. Delia!
VI Cote Yoa kin net heah an say
tt t1!t yoa turns black la da face, but
1 aiat gw later blieva yo'!" Puck.
Trick May Earn Monument.
Pioneer residents have inaugurated
a movement to have a tablet placed
in the new state capitol of Minnesota
in memory of Joseph Rolette, who, in
the early days saved the prestige of
St. Paul. By act of legislature the
capital of Minnesota was removed
from St. Paul to the rival town of St.
Peter, but the hill never was signed
by the governor, for. during the last
ten days of the session the bill was
in custody of a committee of which
"Joe" Rolette was a member, and he
disappeared with the bill in his pocket.
His disappearance with the bill ren
dered the act of the legislature void.
Dont Forget tha Waiter.
"Well, our vacation is over.
leave for home today."
"I see the waiter has decorated our
table with rosemary."
"Rosemary, eh? Ah, yes; that's for
"Your wife thinks a lot of you.
"I suppose I might say so," replied
Mr. Meektoa. "When she starts in to
tell me what aha thinks of ma It taken
a long time."
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