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About Plattsmouth herald. (Plattsmouth, Nebraska) 1892-1894 | View Entire Issue (March 30, 1893)
THE WEEKLY 1IEHALD: V I .ATTiM( U T H , N K U U A S K A . M AUCll ivu.
CORREGGIO'S LOUVRE ANTIOPE.
Noontide's whltenes of foU ion
Illume her lee;
Its heat is on her limbs, and on
White arm with sweep
Of languor fulls around tier lead;
the cuddles on tlie lap of earth;
While almost dead
Atieer. forkful of his mirth,
A dimpled Cupid at her Hid
Conquered, weary with the light.
Her eyelids' 01 li.
Kuiuuier's plenitude of might
Her lip ahaoi u.
I'plifted to Hie Iiurnlug air
And w ith riiilciliui fallen apart;
Her form is hare.
Hut her doeskin hinds each dart
Uf her woodland armory.
Laid Idle by.
Hie is curled beyond the rim
Of oaks (hut slide
Their lowest branches. Ions and slim.
Close to be r side;
Their foliage touches her with lobes
Half gay, half shadowed, green and
Her white throat globes,
Thrown backward, and her breasUsiuk
With the supineness of her sleep,
Ifaf fringed and deep.
Where her liund has curved to slip
Across a bough,
Fledged Cupid's slumberous fingers grip
The turf, and how
Close to his chin lie hugs her cloakl
His torch reversed trails on the ground
With feeble smoke;
For in noon's chastity profound,
In the blank glare of midday skies.
Love's flambeau dies.
Rut the sleejiers are not left
To breathe alone;
A god is by with hoofs deep cleft.
With a rough iielt and body strong:
Yet must the head and piercing eyes
In truth belong
To some Olympian In disguise;
From lawless shape or niic;i unkempt
They are exempt.
Zeus, beneath this oaken boughs.
As satyr keeps
His watch hIkivs the woman's brows
And backward sweeps
Her cloak to flood her with the noon.
Curious and fond, yet by a clear
Joy in the boon
Of beauty f ranehlsed, beauty 3ear
To him as to a tree's bent maw
The sunny grass.
Michael Field In London Athenoum.
The Turkey Entitled to a Seat,
A man going home from Boston on
a late train a few evenings ago took
one seat and placed U'side him on the
other a largo turkey minus wrapping
of any kind. A half duKon men
couldn't find seats and stood good na
turedly in the aisles. Just as the
train moved out of the station a little,
nervous looking man came along. He
asked the man with the turkey to
take the hird up and give him the
seat. The man refused, whereupon
the nervous man attempted to move
the turkey aside himself.
"No, you don't," said the bird's own
er. "That turkey is going to have a
whole seat to himself."
"You haven't paid for two seats,"
said the other, red with rage.
"Haven't I? Well, just see me do
it now." He called to the conductor.
"Here," he sand, passing his book
over, "take out another fare for this
friend of mine," and he uodded jo
cosely in the direction of the bird.
The conductor looked a little dubious
for a few seconds, then tore out the
ticket. Boston Gr'obe.
Measuring Candle Tower.
The method of measuring the can
die jiower of light is simply to move
an object along a graded scale, away
from the light, until it ceases to cast
u shadow; a mark on the scale at
this ioint indicating the candle jtower
of the flame. It is apparent that the
shadows thrown are to a great extent
dependent ou the intensity of the
light. Thus water gas, which gives
a more intense light to a given area
than coal gas, casts a strong shade w
in the measuring machine, but wh d
put to practical use it docs not il i
minatea room so well, not having so
great diffusive jiower as a coal g is
light of the same measured candle
ixiwer.-New York Commercial Ad
Amethysts and several other so
called precious stones have become
so cheap that they are no longer sold
by the carat, but by the ounce.
Even the great amethyst that ordi
narily graces an episcopal ring is no
longer an e-xjiensive stone, and ame
thysts of jKMirer quality are ordiuari
ly of trifling value. New York Sun.
Not So Had as It Sounded.
"George!" said Maud.
"I am William," said William
"Oh, I know that, Willie." returned
Maud. "1 hurt my finger, and that
wasmv little swear word." -Hamer's
False happiness is like false money;
it iiiwes nr u tune as weu as me
twit, ninl u. ....., . ....1 ..
sions, but when it is brought to the
touch we find the lightness and alloy
and feel the loss. Pojie.
Professor Huxley knows of no a
priori reason "why snake bodied rej
tiles .10 feet long and upward should
not disport themselves in our seas as
they did in those of the cretaceous
A deserving charitable institution
at Wichita, Kan., is a free Sunday
nursery, where infants and young
children are, cared for while their
'uireiits attend church.
We read in the "Acts of the Apos
tles" that handkerchiefs which Paul
had touched were carried to the sick,
and that miraculous cures were
t hereby wrought.
It is almost as cruel to juke a man
ljout his fast horse as altout his
wife and children, but newspajier
wits have uo mtrcv.
A TERRIBLE CRIME.
One of the rr.ost cold blooded
murders that ever occurred was
committed last Thursday at Hite
m a il Iowa resulting in the death of
Mrs. Henry Smith of Hiteniati. and
the probably fatal wounding of her
baby and her sister, the wife of the
dastardy wretch who committed
the awful crime. The terrible
tragedy ended with the hanging of
the murderer by an enraged peo
ple. The frightful crime was com
mitted .it II iu-tuan, a mining town
of nbotit 'J.(MK) population Hiteniati
is located in Monroe county, and is
live miles southwest of Albia, and
about thirty miles from Otlumwa.
I.owis Friuier, tne murderer, lived
at Carbondale, another mining
town, situated in Mahaska county
fifteen miles from Hiteman. It
seems that Mrs. l;raz,ir had left her
husband because of his ill-treatment
of her. and had gone to live
with her sister, Mrs. Smith, at Hite.
man, whose husband is employed
in the mines at that place.
This morning about Id o'clock,
while Mr. Smith was at work in the
mine, Frazier came to Hiteman and
went to Smith's jhouse. He called
for his wife and tried together to
go home with him, which she re
futed to do. A quarrel ensued,
Frazier drew a knife and stabbed
his wife and also Mrs. Smith and
her little baby, which she was hold
ing in her arms. Mrs. Smith died
within a few hours and Mrs. Fra
zier and the baby are both danger
Immediately after committing
the terrible crime, Frazier left the
house, going south through the
woods a mile, then turning west.
The news of the terrible tragedy
spread rapidly, and in a very few
minutes a large number of infuriat
ed citizens gathered and started in
pursuit of the murderer. The great
est excitement prevailed. The peo
ple fairly went wild and the scene
was one of the beggars description.
In a short time the maddened
mob started on its mission. Frazier
was found at Cummings' crossing,
near the Cedar mines, about two
miles west of Albia, on the Chicago,
Burlington & Otiiney railroad
Deputy Sherilf Lewis of Albia who
was also in pursuit of'the murderer
took charge of him and took him in
hie buggy for the purpose of tak
ing him to Albia. With the assis
tance of a few of the cooler men
the officer endeavored to get the
prisoner away 1o a place of safety.
The excited mob only grew more
furious, and seizing the frightened
and cowering murderer they took
him away from the officer, and
took him back to the house where
the terrible crime was committed
A roqe was secured and placed
around his neck and he was hung
to a tree near where the victims of
his muiderous knife were lying
dead and the other two in a dying
condition. The body was left hang
ing to the tree.
A terrible crime had been aveng
ed and the infuriated mob bccnine
calm, dispersing one after another
to their homes. Deputy Sheriff
Lewis took charge of the remains
and the coroner was sent for. It
was one of the most monstrous and
cold bltSoded murders ever com
mitted in Iowa, and the anger of
the people of Hiteman knew no
bounds. Business was entirely
s li fq ended and work was stopped
in this section for the day.
A BAD STORM.
Scattering reports comingto Mem
phis from points in Western Ten
nessee and Northern Mississippi,
indicate that a terrific cyclone
whirled up the Mississippi valley
from the southwest, crushing and
sweeping away houses like straw
sacks along its mad path. Tele
graph wires in every direction were
twined into tangles like delicate
silken threads, atid communication
with the storm swept localities was
exceedingly difficult and unsatis
factory. Trains from the east
reaching here late in the afternoon
and evening brought reports of
widespread destruction. Passen
gers on the Yazoo k Mississippi
Valley tram told of the destruction
of Tunca, Miss. The Birmingham
train, due in Memphis at .":(KI
o'clock, could not get to Memphis
until after N o'clock, the trainmen
being compelled to chop and move
trees off the tracks between here
and Kelley. The trainmen report
that not a house was left standing
at Kelley, which is a station about
thirteen miles from Memphis. The
wrath of the storm as it crossed the
Kansas City, Memphis Birining
hanf road seemed to embrace a ter
ritory between Caperville and t Hive
Branch. Dozens of houses, huge
trees and barns were razed to the
ground by the violence of the
The damage at Tunica, Miss., was
great. About Xi'.VI o'clock in the
afternoon the sky in the southwest
began to darken and a low wailing
sound announced a storm. Within
a few minutes the wind came along
with a terrible velocity and with a
wish and a whirl that portened
danger. The first liar 1 Mow gave
way to the cyclone and houses were
crushed like eggshells. Huge rain
drops fell and the scene was a weird
one indeed. Although the ruthrless
visitor lingered over the doomed .
town scarcely two minutes, yet in
that time he leveled buildings un- j
sparingly, tossing saloon and
church alike to the ground. Such 1
unusual and unexpected wrath
stunned the people, and the heav
engly artillerv. like noise of
tumbling roofs, paralyzed the
mind for minutes. A partial calm,
save the sound of the rain that fob
lowed, and then the people rushed
about in great excitement. On one
side o' the square, where stood a
a handsome building occupied by
the Knights of I'hythias and Ma
sons, was now only a heap of tim
ber and jutting beams from a mass
of ruins. This was one of the most
pretentious buildings in the town.
The people on the streets first no
ticed this wreck and then they saw
the roof of the court house was
gone, but there was more than
this. There were cries and screams
of children. Men rushed to the
colored school house, where l.Tt)
children had been gathered at their
lessons. The building, a two-story
frame, had been blown down, and
beneath the ruins was a mess of
struggling children. So far as
known none were killed, but
there were many maimed and
bruised, some with broken arms
and some with fractured skulls.
The full extent of the damage is
not known, but the loss to property
will go into the hundredsof thous
and of dollars. Trainmen of the
Kansas City, Memphis V Birming
ham railroad report that Kelley,
Mississppi, was wiped from the
face of the earth, not a soul being
left to tell the tale. A special train
left Memphis for Kelley at p. m.
but nothing has been heard since.
The second trial of the celebrated
case of Anton Woode, the 11-year-old
boy murderer of Joseph Smith,
was commenced in the district
court at Denver last Monday. The
youthful prisioner presented the
same childish appearance that he
did on his former trial two weeks
ago. His thoughts were absorbed
in a big bag of candy. There was
nothing about him that would in
dicate what the attorney for the
state pictured him to be, a cold
blooded murderer, that inveigled
Joseph Smith, a man of 2fi years,
into the wild mountains and there
slew him when his back was turned
for the purpose of robbery. The
young lad is as happy as a boy can
lie, except when seeing some jew
elry on another person. Then he
looks like a maniac. The state's
attorney's will make a desper
ate effort to hang him this time, as
he attempted to murder the ma
tron of the jail since his incarcera
tion, and made a desperate assault
with a club on his cell mate, a boy
prisoner, when he was asleep, and
would have murdered him but for
the the timely interference of the
Compton McCoy, a farmer resid
ing a few miles south of St. Joseph,
on the Missouri liver banks, was
duck hunting on the bar, when he
discovered a large dry goods box
floating with the current. He haul
ed the box to the shore and, break
ing it open, was nearly overpowered
by a terrible stench which arose
from the box. An investigation
disclosed that the box was filled
with dead bodies in an advanced
stage of decomposition, then
mams being so badly decomposed
that identification was impossible
Coroner Reynolds made an investi
gation and found the remains were
those of four men and one woman
and appearances indicate they have
been murdered, the remains placed
in the box and then sent adrift The
community is in a terrible state of
excitement. It is supposed the
remains are those of a family of
emigrants who disappeared in a
mysterious manner from Rulo, ID
miles north of St. Joseph, last fall.
Willi am Harnian, a resilient of
Titusville Pa., Committed suicide
the other day under very strange
curcuiiistauses. He got an idea
into his shallow pate that he was
his own grandfather and the only
way to get out of the scrape, so he
thought was to cut his throat, lit
left the following singular letter.
I married a widow who had a
grownup daughter. My lather
visited our house very often, fell in
love with my stepdaughter and
married her. So my father became
my son-in-lawand my stepdaughter
my mother, because she was my
father's wife, my father's brother-in-law.
and my uncle, for he was
the brother of my stepmother. My
father's wife, i.e. my stepdaughter
had a son. He was, of course, my
brother and in the meantime my
grand child, for he was the soil
of my daughter. My wife was my
grandmother, because she was my
mother's mother. I was my wife's
husband ahd grand child at the
same time, and as the hut-band of a
person's grandmother is his grand
father I am my own grandfather.
Mary McOowan.n 13 year-old girl,
commenced fooling with h?r father
revolver. Playfully pointing the
weapon at her 7-year old brother
she pulled the trigger at his com
maud to shoot and he fell with a
bullet in his head. She thought the
revolver was empty. Mrs. Mctiow
an is prostrated and the girl has
A committee of nonunion em
ploying printers headed by
Kdward Clark, called on Mr. Cleve
land and presented a petition,
signed by nonunion printer ol
Washington, asking him to recog
nize nonunion men in his selection
for public printer and protesting
against the elTort made by a dele
gation of union printers, headed by
Congressman Amos J. Cummings,
to induce Mr. Cleveland not to ap
point C. W. lvdwards on the
ground that he is not a union man.
The petition closes thus: "We pray
that in exercising your presiden
tial prerogative in appointing a
public printer, you will impartially
consider the right of the immensely
larger, less noisy, less guilty body
of your industrial fellow citizens
who are members of no union, no
boycotting labor organizations, and
that the public printer whom you
shall select will be a man who will
remember that nonunion priuers
have rights to be respected, equal
to those of union printers, and
that, as common citizens of a com
mon country, they have as much
right to labor at the case in the
government printing office as have
members of any printers' union." It
is hoped that Mr. Cleveland will not
so far forget himself as to allow
any old "rat" to get possession of
the government printing office.
a his would be a direct slap in the
face of union labor.
Distillers of Ohio and Kentuckey
have been notified that the Internal
Revenue commissioner has absolu
tely refused to grant further time to
those who have quanitius of whisky
in which to pay the tax and remove
the goods. The custom has been
to allow seven months' grace. The
bonded warehouse storage this
year is large in Kentucke, where
the crop so far has been double
that of island the round totals of
gallons will creep up close to fifty
millions, The number of gallons
of taxable spirits of all kinds in
bond in IMC was 11,m:q;i, and the
owners, to take it out will be obliged
to pay the government in revenue
taxes the sum of flU'J.iW.Ti). This
sum does not include the estimat
ed taxes for the present year.
The joint legislative coal investi
gation committee lately secured
from Pie letter books of the coal
combine proof that they are regular
articles of association agreements
drawn by the organization with a
view to evading the present law
prohibiting trusts. It is in the form
of a letter from John J. Rhodes to
C. K.Wales president of the Pioneer
Fuel Compahy, of Minneapolis un
der date of May i, lMtJ. It reads:
Inclose leae liml agreement to sub
scribe to tli? Minnesota bureau of coul
statistics mid information. I will snytlmt
I have submitted this to un attorney mid
lie informs me Hint there i nothing; II-It-Kill
in it. ''Ieiise wigti ninl return some
lit your eurlest convenience. Now, us there
will be, iirobalilv, iiiiinv retailers in this
iis.-o.'intioii for the next thirty days, to
put this biirenii in proper shape w ill you
pleuse setid iiieyour check (or IU0 on nc
count The jf.'iO.dOO damage suit of -the
coal combine against the joint leg
islative committees is not likely to
come to trial, as its mi uibers will
refuse to pay any attention to the
summonses addressed to them un
der the following section of the
sta '.e constitution: "The menbers
of each house shall in all cases, ex
cept treason, felonly, and breach of
peace be privileged Irom airtsts
during a session of tht ir respective
houses, and in going to and return
ing from the same. For ant speech
or debate in either house they shall
not be questioned in any other
People of Washington are begin
ning tobelive the Secretary Mor
ton is an expert herdsman, says the
Bee. A few days ago he made sev
eral removals on the score of econ
omy. They were in the bureau of
animal industry and were among
the niicroseopists engaged in the
inspection of meat under the
new law. There was niti.li praise
given Secretary Morton lor his
prompt action in cutting down ex
penses, but his work, however, is
not over pleasing to those demo
crats who at the present time
would perfcr to see the rolls of the
government's employes extended
rather than contracted.
Notice to Gardners and Farmers.
The Cass county canning com
pany is now ready to contract for
l.'iil acres tomatoes. Contract can
lie found at the Hindee hardware
store, and at the First National
THE FOUR TINS.
The Count Hiclski. a nobleman of Poland
wax a very ambitious man. His public tit
fi-rances hiul displeased the government
He was arrested, condemned to iuipiistm
nient for life and confined in a dungeon f.u
underground, lie hail no light and nevei
could tell w hen it was day or night. He hud
no one to speak to, for no one was allowed
to sir him except the keeper of tlu' prison
ninl he was not permit ted to t-jH-aktothc
prisoner He had nothing to do. Hays,
wci ks, months, passed on nnd he waa still
in his dungeon. He was never brought to
trial, mid the unfortunate man was most
mi-eruble. Ho thought tie would loe his
senses, (or his nil son Infill tnive way.
fil ling nil over lii blouse one day he
found four pins, ami he iu-tiially wept f.u
joy. Yet what coultl they be to liiin!1 lie
took them from liis blouse and threw them
ou the Moor of his dungeon, anil then lit
w ent down on his hands mid knees and felt
all over the floor until lie luiil found them
Tliix he coiit lulled to do day alter day
week after week, mouth after month, until
the nioiitlin rolled into years. Hut the)
were no longer weary years. He had now
an object iu life. He would defeat the pur
nose of his jailers, who fondly linnd to
make him insane. He would live How until
lie became an asvil man, cheered by tin
companionship of his four plus. Anil then
when he had Ut'onictoo old to move about
his narrow dungeon he would be content
to lie down with his lour silent IiIciuIh nnd
hi his dreams these pin would often as
same familiar shapes. Their heads w ould
take on tho likeness of his friends and his
relations. They would talk itud IiiiikIi with
him. How happy were these dream mo
mi nt s to the condemned: There was his
dear old mother's face. How slie ue.mm!
upon liiinl And t here were his beloved w ill
and his two rosy checked children the)
kissed tht ir chubby hands to tln-ir fat lu r
His heart seemed bursting w-ith joy.
due night lie had a fiuiful dream Hi
dreamed lie had lost his pins. Oh, horroi
of horrors! The perspiration btoke out in
KTiat drops upon his (ace, his arms, his
breast. Thus lie found himself when, with
a hoarse cry, lie awoke. He realized ipiii k!;.
that it was only a dream. His beloved
companions were found in their lu-eti-t mi u l
place. What a m Use of relief now lillcil his
heart in hu iikiuii betook himself nisluir,
fi n yean had passed, mid tin- pn-oin ,
and his pins were iiisepmalile. His kci-pci
w ho never yet had -pokcii to him. w;is now
ri'Kiirded with a new interest. He I; ntcd
that this man hated an one of bis oppress
ors had discovered his occupation, mid
that he would endeavor to deprive him of
this solace. Carefully now he guanln) his
line day he lost all his pins. He hud
scattered them, he thought, as before. Iiul
now they eluded Lis rasp. He carefully
felt over every inch of the floor of his dun
Keoii. Again mid Hgniu hu npeati-d Ms
search lint il he grew weary of the task, hut
not one pin could he find.
Ah he lay angry and despairing on the
Mone floor he was moused by the noise ol
the keeptr removing the chains and bolt.
from the door. Presently lie eiitenil, U-nr
ingwith him the prisoner' scanty supply
of bread and water. Ily the dim light of
the torch which he carried the prisoner
fancied he could discern a mocking smile
upon his face. This, theu, was the cause
He bad stolen his pins. He was now re
joiciug at Lis discomfiture. He must havi
discovered them while the prisoner slept
Hate now filled the hoiiI of the condemned
His occupation bad tieeti stolen from him.
but a new thought at once engaged hit
mind, diffusing through him a kind of ln.ul
joy. He would devise a means to torture,
to kill hia keepi r. He knew that t Lis man
-tin- satellite i f an offensive government -despised
him. He would tie revenged.
For h long time he gloated over his con
template)! plan. How long he knew not
Then suddenly a light shone Ix-forc him
It came from the torch borne by the keeper,
who had returned. Placing hlk torch iu a
crevice in the wall, he walked to (he oppo
kite corner of the dungeon from that in
which the prisoner crouched, and turning
his back toward hi in began to fasten i,
chain to the wall. Ha! he wan then to la
chained to the wall' His blond boiled :it
(hiR new indignity. He wished to attack
the keeper at once, but he had no weapon
His eyes fell upon his hands. They were
long mid sinewy. He had once been a
hi long man, but long confinement and lin k
of nourishment had weakened him. The
keeper was undoubtedly it ktrong man. All
this w hile he remained with his buck tothe
prisoner. It wan plain he regarded him
with contempt and did not fear an attack
He even hummed a fragment of an insult
Cautiously, slowly like a cat approach
Ing a mouse the condemned moves upon
his victim. Itage lends him strength. With
one bound he is on the keeper' nhoulders.
His long, bony hands meet like a vine upon
his throat. Then a terrible struggle he
gins. The keeper tries to shake hi in off.
He is a strong man, tint he feels he has met
his match. Then the keeper beats htm
fit rcely npou the head and face with a bolt
of iron. The blond flows down hU face and
blinds his eyes, but he does riot relax his
hold. They roll upon the ground the con
detuned uppermost. The keeper has man
aged to secure his dagger. He stubs the
piisoiier once in the breast. Then the dag
gcr falls from his hand; hiseycsauil tongue
protrude in a frightful manner; his face is
a mixture of purple and red Mood tickles
from his nostrils. He is dead.
With a maniacal cry of delight the pris
oner staggers to his feet, blood streaming
dow n his breast and head. He attempts to
rt-fuh thedbor, but his strength fails him
He is mortally hurt. With a scream he
falls lifeless across the threshold, striking
l.is head upon the hard stone Hi Kir.
Hut what of the pins? The prisoner had
been in the habit before lying down to sleep
of fastening t he four pins in the left cuff ol
his blouse. The fear of detection so op
era ted upon his mind that one night, iu a
lit of somnambulism, he had put the pins
side by side iu the edge of the garment,
and there they were afterward found and
cominenti-il .ipon by the authorities of the
prison. .1. H. Kirwin iu Huffalo News.
I iiiirovtiiviit In Calmed Oooils.
k is a long step from the cotulit ion of
things inCiiinean day which just ilied the
witticism, "One man's canned meat i
another mini's poison." to these times,
w hen t be iiavii s of the world are largely
subsisting on "cniiiicd stnll." The caterer
of the watdroom mess on board an Anicr
icun man of war must be an expert iu
(aimed goods, and tbefaet that these things
are eaten without serious grumbling by all,
and with t h.u.kf illness by those who re
u.i n,ls r "hard tack and salt horse," is a
tribute to a growing industry. New York
(It lug Him Instruction.
He- Kemember that you have promised
solemnly to be a sister to uie.
She-Yes, hut you mustn't act an if yon
thought you were the only relative of that
kind i Lave in the world. UvkUiu Ueacou.
Dr. Wa land tells good story of a young
clergyman who preached trong tenicr
hikc sermon. When he had finished, a
deacon said to him. "1 am afraid you have
made a mitiike Mr. Jones, who pay the
highest pew rent, is a distiller: tie will
lie angry." The minister said, "Oh, I am
sorry: I will go and explain it to Mr. Jones
Aud remove any unfavorable Impression
and tell him that I did Dot meau him."
Accordingly he waited upon Mr. Jones,
who, iu addition to the profession of dis
tilling, also carried ou a good many other
branches of trade and a good many amuse
uienu and was not distinguished aliove
other men a being an ascetic. The paitor
exprenhed hi regret to Mr. Jones for any
thing in the sermon which hurt hi feel
ingH. He was somewhat relieved when,
with a jovial air, Mr. Jonnssald: "Oh, bleati
yon, don't mind that at nil. It must be
mighty poor sermon that don't hit me
somewhere." New York Tribune.
Nurs Knouf h.
A good rtory I told of General Sher
man' ou Tliotnaa, now kuowu a Father
Sherman, hi the company of a detach
ment of soldiers he wh crossing the pon
toon bridge over the Potomac when the
armies were on their way to Washington
for their great review In
The boy was then about 8 year old. One
of the men, to make talk, asked him if he
expect ed to grow up as smart a man as his
"No, sir," answered the boy with ur
"Why, not?" was the next question.
"Well," said Thomas without hesitation,
"there are plenty of other men who have
grow n up, aud w hy ain't they as smart a
my father?" Philadelphia 1'ress.
Mother-Where have you been, Johnnvr
Johnny l)uw n by th' ole mill watchin a
man puilit a picture.
Mother Didn't you bother hlmf
Johnny Naw1 He seemed to bo real liv
ten slisl iu me.
Mother-What did he sayf
Johnny He asked me if I didn't think
'twas most dinner time, aud you'd miss me.
Dimmed to the lliurnirnt.
St. Pclcr-From New York, ehf Well,
you didn't pay your grocer and never lost
a chance to slip out of your flat without
paying the rent. You can't come iu.
New Arrival Kli Where shall I go?
St. Peter Down In-low,
New Arrival (ireat snukesl Have 1 got
to go mid room with the jaultorf New
Tiki Much ICenrrve,
"Your girl seems to have u good deal of
maidenly reserve alsitit her."
"Well, I should think she has. I asked
her if she would promise to he my wife -three
mouth ago, aud she has reserved her -answer
ever since. I was thinking she had.
entirely loo much maidenly reserve." Chi
Something About Kggs.
"Were you at the poultry showf"
"Yes; it was very fine. I don't think ft
can lie beat In that line."
"I know one thing in the poultry line that
can't Imj taut."
"China eggs." Texas Sifting.
Always Wanting Something.
"You women folks are never satisfied,"
said I' uric Josh. "Here I bring Hannah a
fine roll of silk, an she ain't satisfied. Wants
to Lev it made up Into a dress right off."
A Housekeeper's Wall.
(Mscouif lament lurks w ithin my breast,
Vet in this world of most tilings I've tin best:
A husband who's the idol of luy heart,
A chllil, a sou; what sriuf from them to parti
And friends-I've got the dearest friend on
We minute tears ns well as Join in mirth.
I've wealth, so much 1 cannot spend It all:
My iurcirliiK break to every plaintive calL
Still I'm unhappy, but I've cause to he.
I.Ives there a soul who docs not pity me?
I've senivlicd In every corner, every nook.
Mm ft- !'--1 , to I, ml a hangup cook.
Da;:c.s Whul are you reading theref
Scaggs The story of "She Who Must f!
Daggs (Hi, yes, the romance of a hired
girl - Simei viile Journal
The Resiles Man.
Of all tiresome things n restless umn it
the worst. A rest less woman cannot lie
gin to ci l 'io lii to n restless man. She
gets pliyi-ici.ily tired out after awhile and
must sit down. lint u man he can go
on ai d on forever.
In cules, r iilmad trains, theaters in.
fact, wherever men do congregate1 thero
also is the restless limn, driving every
one distracted with his ceaseless tramp
ing. He goes uii, and ho goca down, but
he is never wei.rv. New York Herald.
For Old and Young.
Tote Liver Pills art as k Indly on th
child. Ike delicate female or Infirm
Id age, upon I lie vigorous man.
;lve tone to the weak stomach, bow
Is. kidney anil bladder. To the
organs lliuir strengthening qnalltte
re wonderful, miming- llieni toper
form their functions as In youth.
Office, 110 to 144 WuhhiuKton tit.. N. Y.
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