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About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (July 6, 1889)
CAPITAL CITY COURIER, SATURDAY, JULY 6, 1889. R- I". M B? . r 1 rf b : THE L.:e KILN CLUD. The Knl-Jirt n( tlniirtt) llrucd It) Wu)iIitii llplxti unit Wrier Toot. Aftrr tin milling of tlio minutes of tho .last mii'tlno, ami other routlno business, Drotlicr Gardner stated that bo had boon asked to Ktvure nil oxprossion of opinion on tho question "Does It Pay to boStrlctlj Honest r Ho would rail upon Sir Isoao Wal polo, ns the olden incmbor, first. "I war In hoijsdnt quoshun would uobbcr cum up lq ills club," wild tho old veteran In roply. "Itnr'n qucshun which has caused mo many sleepless nights, an' which I hov nobler bin a bio to nettle to tny own satlsfack Khun. On 0110 occashun 1 found n wnllot in ,do road. It contained f.-0, an' when 1 ro stored It to do owner ho handed 1110 all de money an' thanked mo besides. On sovcral other occaihun 1 hov found wallet and uncut W worth of tlmo hurtln' up do owner an' bin rowarded wld lb cents. A grocer onco gin ,nion tlO dollar bill fur a $1. I Landco It bock an' ho glv1 mo half a pound of ten, Do ,Tory noxt week I glv' him a $5 bill Cur a t3, an1 ho kept it an' sworo dat I was n llnr. "If I buy meat do butcher works ixo' or loss bono In on mo,'' continued tho old man, "If I buy wood or coal It nr' alius a lcotlo short. I oxpect do dry goods man to cheat jno mo' or less, an' do batter an' shoemaker .doan' alius stick to fades. If I war' strictly honest I reckon I should land In do poo'houso .In about a year 1 doan' advlsoany ono to ,bo dishonest, but It or' my oplnyun dat If you find a pug dog run n In' around do streets jio should bo tnken homo and tied up to do bod post until soma ono advertises a liberal .roward an' no qucshuns axed." Waydowu Bcbco then spoko as follows: "Dor' was a tlino when I was so strictly -honest dat otter fifty of tho nayburs' chickens used to roost In my back yard o' nights. At do samo tlmo dem nayburs borrowed money of mo an' dun forgot to pay it back, an' If I loft a spado out doahs obcr night It was gone In do mawnln' If I owed a debt I ached to co an' wako du mail up at midnight an' pay him. If 1 found half a dozen lead nickels In .my chango, I melted 'em up fur bullets to shoot cats. If I disklverod ten cents on do floah in do itostofllco I handed It to do post master. 1 practiced dls course fur Qvo long years, an' doorln' dat tlmo I not only run be hind f l,(xxj, but I beard myself spoken of on all sides as a grocuhorn, a pancako an' an Idiot. I finally decided to chango. In Qvo years I has picked up obcr $2,000, am out of ,dobt an' grocers an' butchers send to my houso and solicit my trade. When you ox mo If It pays to bo strictly honest 1 mus' ro ply dat it don't not by a Jug fulll" Elder Toots was then called upon, and be sold: "If dar' am any ono pusson In Dotrolt who has bad chicken fur dinner any oftcner dun I ,hov I should llko to sea bis photograph, an' ylt whar' am do pusson who daro stan' up on' say I steal chickens! I used to bo strictly .bor.cst. If I found a cent in do road I went whoopln' up an' down to find an owner. If a $25 lost dog crept under my houso to bo taken Jcocr of until advertised I drove him out an' let do man next doah got do monoy. I not only paid tho houso rent on tho day It was duo, but mado all repairs out o' my own .pockot. I run right down hill, an' by an' 'by I woko up to find do old woman out o' 'tntcrs flour, meat, sugar, tea and eborythlng clso 'ccpt Rough on Rats .an' two bars o' soap, whllo my toes w'ar' out to JInuary weather. On dat samo momln', as I was gwino down town, I heard ono man say to anotbort 'Say, Jim, boo dat pusson I Ho ar' do fool nigger of Detroit If .ho had a quarter wld a nolo In It ho would frow it in do rlbbcr fur fear of accidentally passin' It off on a mlllyonary.' Dat sot mo to thlnkin'. Dat very ulght I stolo a lot of wood, threo chickens, a bag o' tntcrs an' a pair of butes, an' 1 hov prospered cber sluco. I specks It will bo a lectio harder ou mo when 1 cum to do gates of heaven, but 1 am dolu' powerfully well down ycro below an' incroas .In' my fat cbcry day ' Dotrolt Frco Press. Look Out For the Lining, Ladles, Ah. BL V, -- v A Illtlded Duty. Woman (to trumj There, I havo obeyed tho dlrtuo injunction to "FVod tho hungry," and now I hopo you will remember that ono good turn deserves Another, and chop n little wood for mo. Tramp I'm very sorry, mum, but Pvo got an engagement, an' must hurry off. "Why, what havo jou to dor "His my solemn duty, mum, to go out Into tho highways nud byways, and tell hun gry gents llko myself that this 'cro houso Is a good placo to git a squaro meal." Now York Weekly. Bloro Ttmn Iln llnrgnlnrit Tar. fi-flTOSI w-Toxas Slftlngs. Kterytlilng In tho St) to. Senator Matt Ransom Is back from North Carolina, happy over his ro-olcctlon mid hand Homer than over. Ills poso for tho galleries is strengthened by somo now elements. A brother senator who congratulated Ransom on his ro-clectlon slipped back Into tho cloak room and told this story i "1 novcr seo Matt Ransom without think ing of an incident thoy toll 'about down in his own neighborhood. Thoy havo tho biggest fair in tho stato thoro. Ono year a lank, lean mountaineer brought a borso tlown to tho fair. It was blind, spavined and had tho glandors. A sorrlor looking beast couldn't bo found In that country. Tho borso dealer showed his paces all around tho track, " 'Tako n look,' ho cried, 'at tho finest hoss In Northampton county.' "Ho had gono half way around tho track when a man camo up to him and saldi "I'Look hcah, stranger, that boss Is blind.' "'Can't btlp It, It's tho finest hoss In Northampton county,' and tho mountaineer passed on a littlo further. Somebody cImj struck him and saldi " 'Hello, thoro, that hoss Is lamo.' "Still tho mountaineer called out: " 'Tako a look at tho finest hoss In North ampton county.' "Ho had got around tho clrclo when Matt Ransom met him. Thinking ho would hava somo fun tho senator went up and soldi " 'That tho Quest horso In Northampton county I Wby, it's lamo, blind, and wheezes llko thunder. What aro its good points!' "Tho mountaineer stzod tho senator up, changed his cud of tobacco, und said: " 'Can't help that, boss; its unmo Is Matt Ransom, and It's on stylo. That makes It tho llncbt hoss In Northampton county.' " Wrashingtou Cor. Now York Tribune. " -:. -. Miss Hcnklcman What a lovely gown, jloar, from Purls, of course ( Miss Whitclyar Yes, 1 can't got suited .anywbero clso. It camo on tho Unibrla, Tues xlay. Scrlbncr's Magazine A Cheap trf-uou. " "That pleco of paper Isn't worth shucks, is ltr queried a stranger as ho handed a chock in to tho cashier of a Griswold street bank tho other day. "No, sir," was tho reply after a brief glanco. "It is signed John Smith," "I seo It Is." "Ho's a fraud!" "I think so. Whoro did you got tho chock r "At tho depot Lenc a party $20 to got off on a train with, and ho gavo mo this check of $50 as security." "You havo boon confldencod." "I know it I know It half an hour ago. When I started to como to town my brother told I'd let somo ono mako a fool of mo." "And you have," "I havo. Turned out Just as ho said. Bay, wasn't that conQdcnco operator rather fresh I" "Howl" "Seo hero. Hero's a wallet with $3,600 In It, and tho fool only asked wo for $201 Won't bo kick himself If ho over finds out how cheap ho let mo off I" Dotrolt Proo Press. How n Soldier KutlnmtM Distance. It constantly hapens that men dotnehed from tho main liody of an army aro called upon to dotermlno for thoinsolvos tholr dts tanco from an object to bo flrod at No as tlstanco can bo gtvon, nothing but n item ro llanco upon ono s (udgmout and tho slzo and sppoaranco of surrounding objocts. Export Diico abundantly proves that ovou tho rawest of recruits may bo taught to estlmato dis tances approximately from his base lino to at least 2,000 yards away, and this by simple, rapid observation. Every soldier Is suppoood to havo good eyesight ( ho theroforo, after a littlo priictlco in sight estimating, learns tho following facts i At thirty yards tho white of a man's oyos Is plainly seen, nnd tho oyos themselves to 80 yards. At 100 yards all parts of tho body aro seen distinctly, slight movements aro porccptlblo, and tho minute dotalls of tho uniforms can bo distinguished. At 200 ynnls tlio outlines or tlio raco aro confused nnd tho rows of brass buttons look llko yollow stripes. At 800 yards tho buttons aro no longer visible. At -I0O yards tho faco Is a mcro dot, but all movements of tho legs and arms nro still dis tinct M 000 yards details can no longer bo dis tinguished, though tho Qlos of n squad, If tho light bo strong, can bo counted. At 800 yards tho mon In a squad cannot always bo counted tior tholr Individual movo tnoiits distinguished. At 1,000 yards a lino of mon simply resom bice n broad belt; tho direction of their march can, however, bo readily determined. At 1,800 yards Infantry can bo distinguished from cavalry At 2,000 yards a mounted man looks llko a moro spock or dot Tlio nbovo rules aro appltcablo In tho begin ning only to smooth, ojwn country, but after a littlo practice thoy apply also with equal forco to rough, broken country as wall Fort Davis (Tox.) Cor. Cleveland Loader. Kind nnd Courteous. Wo who wero born under a northern sky aro accustomed to say that wo havo no tlmo for tho moro elaborate courtesies of dally Ufa Perhaps, also, wo havo not tho inclina tion to adopt them, and need to w hot our resolution with stories llko tho following, told In "Tho Tramp at Homo," and cullod during a stay at Now Orleans. I onco lost my way In tho narrow streets of tho French quarter, and, as thoro wero no passers by, stepped Into a shoemaker's shop to obtain directions. "You wish to go to Washington squarof "Yes." "Well, como, I will show you." Ho laid down his tools ami shoos, and wo started olf together. Tho fow peoplo wo mot ou tho qulot, almost deserted street did not socm to think thoro was anything odd In tho shoemaker's walking along with mo, his sloovos still rolled up, his leather apron tied round his waist, his workman's cap on his bead. "I did not mean to put you to this troublo," I apologized. "If you will tell mo tho way I can find It" "Oh, It's no troublo," roturned tho Bhoo maker Jovially. "Besides, you couldn't go by yourself. Tho streets aro very narrow and very crooked." Tho rest of tho distance about a block and a half no talked politics, a subject In which tho shoemaker was well versed. Thon wo camo in sight of tho squuro, and my guldo, with a bow that would havo dono credit to a dancing master, touched hlscapaud returned leisurely to his shop. Youth's Companion. Incenso for Homos. Tho agreeable fashion of burning pastilles andfrogrunt herbs In rooms that aro apt to grow "stuffy '' In damp weather Is almost a substitute for a Qro on tho hearth, which purifies and cheers tho wholo house. Ever slnco tho mania for Japnneso decoration camo in tbsro has been a demand for tho delicious pastilles, or "reeds," which aro tho condensa tion of Eastern frngrauco, and tholr uso has brought about a greater lovo for aromatlo odors of a refined ntyi purifying nature, Tlio subtto sweetness permeating articles that como from China or Japan will last for years, and affect tho atmosphere, not merely of tho room thoy aro In, but of tho citiro houso. Thcro Is not a Rlmcl or a Lubln In Europo that can produco this intoxicating, and, if ono may say so, high brod porf umo from tho Orient, try as bo may. A bunch of JapanoM pastilles, smoldering ono at a tlmo in a littlo burner, will lost sovernl weeks, whllo for ol factories disliking any porfumo, howover delicate, a bit of gum camphor or a littlo stack of pluo needles produces a most refresh ing odor whllo burning. Pino noodles can bo gathered by tho bushel and kept all winter to bo thrown on coal fires lu city houses, or burned by themselves in ono of those littlo chufing dUhes for which Japanese art Is fa mous. Chicago Herald. Ho Tumbled. "Look hero, captain," began a prisoner who had passed a couplo of days lu a cell at .headquarters, "I want somo Information 1" "About wbatf" "Why don't you provldo tbeso cells with bods, carpets, rocking chairs and other com fortablo things, so as to make a prisoner's stay pleasant i" "Why didn't you go to a first class hotel instead of coming herol" queried tho captain Inteply. "Ahl I seo. I tumble NufTcod. It all .depended on mo, and I skipped tho tra-la-lu." Dotrolt Frco Press. A Great Question Bottled. A St Louis "now sboy," aged 25, has died, leaving an etato valued at $23,000, accumu lated in fifteen years. This socms to answer -tlio oft proKiunded query, "Does Literatim PayT' Norrintown Herald. How to Got Illcli. "James," tafd tho proprietor, "luivo you marked all tbo holiday stock up 25 per cent V "Yes, sir." "Then put n sign on tho window saying -that wo nro selllug out at cost" Clothier ,and Furnisher A Good Ctiunce. Tobacco Chewing Husband (after ascend dug tbo stair I'm all out of breath. Wife Then si mo, please. Now York Weldj. tier Cbnprntulatlons. Mllllccnt Thcro, I must toll you a secret, dear Mr. Sanders proposed to mo last night Ruby How delicious! You accepted him, of course Mllllccnt Ho was so persistent that I ro ally had to. 1 think wo will got along nicely, don't you I Ruby Ever bo nicely I As you know, ho Is not at all fastidious. Dlnphamton Republican. A Gentlo Hint. Sho What's that nolso on tho street, Mr. Stalongl Could you distinguish ltf Mr. Stalong Somo noisy fellow going homo, no doubt Sho Oh! 1 thought It sounded llko news boys calling out tho morning papers. Bur liugton Freo Press. Look llorore Yon Leap. $&& A RAZZLE DAZZLE. FROM "BRASS MONKEY" UNCERS, Publiilicd through T7i6 American Press Association, by permission of tho Author and his Publishers, Willis Woodward iQ Co., New York. " By CHARLES ZIMMERMANN. m&mgm ' A. . m- m. M M. ' m. J .m. PIflrif2T3S2iaEIi I fm- ' r rjggggfl FtXK. 18 gi5lipg2ggg tnf gfrjrl25 iiiijrijpi Pig Copyright, 1830, by WlUli Woodward A Co, N York. ipptjleggslagl PIANOS All the Latest nud most Popular Musical Compositions -may bo found nt ORGANS CURTICE & THIERS, LEADING MUSIC DEALERS 207 SOUTH Htm STREET. SHEET MUSIC Lnrgc Stock of the leading American made Guitars, Piano Tuning and Repairing piomptlj- attended to, NOYELTIES Russet Goat Walking Shoes. The Rue De Bunde French Oxford. Brown French Goat Common Sense Oxfords. Grey Tennis Shoes Strapped with Brown Ooze Calf. Patent Leather with Grey Ooze Calf Plug Oxford. All the Latest and Best Styles of Shoes, Slippers and Oxfords, PERKINS BROTHERS, 1 1 29 O STREET. We are the Leading Carriage Manufacturers ! Our Stock is very Complete and Prices are Low. Come and See us. Old Buggies taken in Exchange for New Ones. lie You wouldn't caro to luuiw (jiwdfel low, Miss Smart, ho's awfully ha I rrr.i-a regular cad, you know. Sho But I do know him. Ho Really now I Sh Yes, and I ant going to parry l.lti. aaxt taouth. Scrlbner's Mairlim An KjiI.ikIo In the Llfo of Mnntell. Robert Mantell, tho actor, was boru lu Bel fast, Ireland, and Is in appearance a typical Irishman of tho finest class. Ills countrymen wherover ho has played havo taken tho ut most Interest lu bis success. Thcro havo boon ono or two Instances, howover, lu which this has been decidedly cmbarasslng. Whllo play ing In London at tbo Olympic theatre as tho loading man for Miss Wnllaco In "Ninon," two school mates of his attetulod a perform ance, occupying seats in tho pit. After a convivial dinner thoy wero feeling In tho happiest mood. As Mr, Mantell en tered bo delivered quito n lengthy mono loguo, and nt Its conclusion Ills North Country frionds sprang to their feet and shouted, "Hooray for Ireland I" Qulot was immedi ately restored, hut when Mr. Mantell, as tho hero, foiled tho villain and rescued tho hero Ino, their enthusiasm ngalu osceoded restraint, and standing up, thoy yelled, "Hooray for Ireland I Olvo him 0110 wltliyour leftl Go It, old hoyl" nnd not until a policeman bad ejected them from tho hall was order restored. Miss Wallace was greatly Incensed at Mr. Mantell, thinking tlio matter bad been ar ranged by him for effect, and It required con tidorablo explanation to rostoro himself in tho good graces of tho angered "star." Now York Star. Thoy Do Not Speuk us Tliey I'iih Hjr, Thoy had both lost their husbands, ono was a widow of fifty, tbo other was twenty two. Tho older ono called upon tho younger ono to condole with her, and thoy ucpt upon 0110 another's necks and recalled tho merits of the dear deceased. It was astonishing how much tho old husband and tho young 0110 had been allko lu their disposition and character at least thoy both saw a distinct rosemblatico hi overy point, which shows that matrimony doos not really change a man, nor ago either when ho Is dead. But thoy had a most de lightful tlmo until tho young ono, putting bor arms around tho old ono's nock, sobbed through bor tears: "I know It Is solush of mo to say so much about my own sorrow But really I do feel that it Is so much ono for you than for mo. I don't know bow I would havo felt If this had huppenr I to 1110 when I was your ago and had uo chanco of getting another." Tho tears frozo suddenly, and th old 0110 does not soak as sho passos by, San Fronelxoo Cbioulclu. s. MHPvlBBflH CAMP BROS., Telephone 664. Cor. Tenth and M Sts. One-Q,uarter3 In order to close out our stoc'n. o( Single - Generator Gasoline Stoves, We will give 'off for Cash until closed out. 1242-0 St. BAIRD BROS. WEDDING INVITATIONS BKLL PROCRHMS, M6NUS Wessel Printing Co., New Burr Block. '41 , , A