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About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (March 3, 1888)
1 1pfm "" f CAPITAL CITY COURIER Voi. 3. No. 112 Lincoln, NiimuaKA, Sa,tukdy, M.vkoii U, 1888 PWIOIfi 1?IVIX OlCNTS VI I (F 1 . MKDLTATJYK MUSINGS. ITEMS IMAGINATIVEAND OTHERWISE. Intended to Tickle tho ltlslhlltlcs or In iliico rilllll(llllllll'lll Discussion. 1 understand tho Lincoln Press Club Is de termined not to fnll Into Innocuous desuetude iw did Its Immediate predecessor. A lino now billiard tablo tins lxx'ii ordered, another room secured mid every prenriitloii entered Into to mnko It n pleasant resort for Its members. Nearly ovory ono of tlio press gang nro mem bers, whllo n number of gentlemen promt nont In literary and professional circles nro on Its list. At present it Is but tlio nucleus of n splendid social club, mid tlio Observer hojies that Interest will lw maintained mid tlio clul) iittnln Its ultliunto object. It Iiiir pleasant i ooiiis nnd a pood inoinlicrslilp, mid thorn Is no reason wu know of why It should not Imvo ii long mid successful career. Tlio next meeting will bo bold next Wednesday afternoon, nt which Col. A. 11. Hayes of tlio ,ourmif will rt'iul n isipor on "Nebraska Farm Mortgages," refuting tlio assertions of certain eastern Journiils; Wnlt Mason will recite n ikkmii mid Hon. Patrick Egun deliver mi address on "Tlio Irish Emigrant," I observed nt tlio Dnlry Maid's festival two of tlio young ladles chewing pun while In tho drill, nnd I must ray it looked anything but nlco or proper. Chewing gum nny w hero Is contrary to laws of etiquette and looks Imd enough In private, but when brought In such prominence Is certainly notlceablo and out of place. I will not mention nmucs of tlio In dies, for fear of hurting their feelings, but this habit Is ono tlint certainly should lie cured, nnd I trust tho persons referred to will kindly accept this bit of advice. lloliiiiinii' Hall. Of Into this tiopulm hall has leeu In con stant demand mid of tlio largo .fathering that has recently taken plncu in tl." city, nearly nil hnve found it to their convcnpiieo nnd nil vnutngo to cngngo this now mid spacious hall. In tlio llohanan block wo find not only n largo mid hniidsomo dnucing hall, but n second hall, tlio Inrgost mid best lighted as sembly place in Lincoln, nnd wo might add, tho largest in tlio state. An idea of its en paclty may 1k formed, f torn tlio statement nindo by tlio proprietors, that tlio larger hall will accommodate, including tho gallery, 2,000 ieoplo. It Is centrally located, tho ac cess thoreto is easy and tho accommodations offered uro superior to thnt oiren.il by nuy other hall in tho city. For small parties tho lower hall is a pleasant resort ami on most ill occnsslous is largo enough, but for tho great need that Lincoln lias, heretofore ox )crienccl, the grand hall on the third lloor lllls tho bill. Tho messenger service call box Is handy, tho place Is closo to business centre, tho ventilation is jicrfcct, nnil In every re spect tho now place has the prosjioctor becom ing the lending miiuseineut resort in the city for dances, assemblies, public gathering, etc. "While n select jwrty is being given in tho lower hall, a largo gathering can tnkeplnCe in the largo hall oIkjvo with no Interruption to cither, so that two parties can, if necessnry uso tho balls on the muiiu night. Don't (let Caught This spring with your blood full of impurities, your digestion iuiaired, your apjietitu poor, kidneys and liver torpid, nnd w hole system Hnblo to lie prostrated by disense -but get yourself into good condition, nnd ready for tho changing nnd warmer weather, by taking Hood's Siirsparilla. It stands unequalled for purifying tho blood, giving mi apiotito, ami for general spring mcdlelno. To Texas Via tlio Missouri I'lirlUc Itall w iiy. Ono fnro for tho round trip from Lincoln oalloints. Tickets limited to sixty days, nnd transit limit going nnd returning of fifteen days in each direction, Excursions lcnvo Lincoln Jnntinry 25, February 8 nnd 20, March 7 and 21. Double lluo of Pullman sleeping cars from Kansas City. A ruro op iwrtunlty to visit Texas. Lowest rates over offered. For limps, descriptive pamphlets, rates, and further Information, rail on or nil dress It. 1. 11. JIili.au, 11. (1. Hanna, General Agent. City Ticket Agent, Corner O nnd 1:2th streets. Ilrown's Vienna Coffee nnd Oyster houso in tho ojK'rn house block is the neatest and nob lost resort in tho city. Wanted. Dressmakers and ladles to call at'120 South 11th street, in the Holmes block, to Investi gate Madam Kullngg's French tailor system, 25-St Silver dross Cigars. Tho best seller in tho city, at Kd. Young's, 1020 O street. For all kinds of society stationery, such as Invitations, programs, cards, nieiius etc. call at tho CouuiKii ollleo In tho nmr Durr.block. largest lino of Key West and Imported cl gnrsnt the llurr block. A Ureal lliittle Is continually going on In the human system. Tho demon of impure blood strives to gain victory over the constitution, to ruin health, to drug victims to the grave. A good reliable medicine like Hood's Hursnparilla is the weapon with which to defend one's self, driv tho mbicrnto enemy from tho Held, and re store poaeo and liodlly health for many years. Try tills peculiar medicine. Dally excursions to California via tho Mis souri l'aclllc Hallway. Tho tourists favorite route. Choice of two routes going, nnd priv ilege of returning nny ono of four routes. Descriptive folders and nil Information obtained of II. (1. Hanna, Or 11. 1'. II. Mim.au, (leu'l Pass. Ag't. City Ticket Ag't., cor. O. and 12th sts. Here No Is Airnln. A certain Dunkirk man was so mean that very ono shunned him and ho grow eraser , and more crabbod from day to day, until at t lost his hat refused to fit him mid his shoes I nubbod him oponly. Ono morning in winter a lady passing his house saw a strange sight, I BtnllflfflP oil thn imrnli ivna it nl.l ttinti ' throwlug crumbs to n Hock of sinirrows, who chirped and danced mid iecked nt tho food in high glee. Moved to compunction for her previous bad opinion of him, tho lady said, pleasantly, "Good morning, Mr, NuvcnijKmd feeding tho birds, I boo." Tho old man looked up surlily nnd then went on throwing tho crumbs. "Nnw," ho growled, "I'm nlwmln' 'era," Buffalo Courier. Wanted to Try It. .3. Mr. Check I owo you $10, Griggs; can't you let mo havo (A more to mako it 15f Griggs Ya-es, I guess I can go you a Aver; but will you tell what kind of norvo food you uso 1 Texas Sifting. Preferable. William N. IUddle, n Now York broker, "who has tho reputation of being among tho best closo rnngo shots In this country, has only ono lung." It may bo coiuidored a great honor to bo numbered among tho best closo rango shots in this country, butwo'd rather liavo two lungs and bo unablo to hit tho gable end of n houso at a distance of ten foot. Norrlstown Herald. Scarcely. Mr. Wabash Dlil you visit Ireland whllo you wcro nbroad, Miss Breezy? Miss Breezy Oh, yos; wo wore n montli in Ireland. Mr. Wabash (whoso Ideas regarding tho lo cation of tho blarney stono nro a trifle vague) You kissed tho blamoy stono, of course Now York Sun. Tnklng n I'rosh Start. "Clara," wild tho old man from tho head of tho stairs, "hasn't that young man gonoyctP "Your daughter isn't horo, sir," feebly responded tho young man. "Slio hns Just stepped into tho kitchen to fill nnd trim tho lamp." Now York Hun. It Will retch "Km. A wlso man, who has given tho matter much earnest thought, says "tho coming nowspnper will recolvo no advertisements." Hoh I That's just w hat's tho matter with tho paper flint's gono. Burdetto in Brooklyn Eagle, A Oolitic Hint. "By George!" exclaimed Wngstaff, with ft chuckle, as ho looked his cards over, "I don't bellovo I could improvo on this hand." "Perhaps you huvo novcr tried soap on It," suggested Buckhorn. Chicago Tribune, Where tlm l'orter Steps In. It Is stated that tho now vestibulo cars run so smoothly that n man can bo shaved on thorn. So ho can on tho ordinary pnlnco cars; tho jwrtcr has always dono that for all tlio passengers. Boston I'ost. Homo Sonne. "I suppose thnt Fioldcn deicrvod hanging," said a Chicago man, "and yet it was a pity. Ho had lots of good horse sense." "Just so," replied his friend, "did not know enough to keop his head out of n halter." Burdetto In Brooklyn Eagle, Worm Thnn tlio Cllmntn. Edith What n dreadfully trying cllmato you havo hero in Boston! Is it tho cast wind that chaps ypur lips sol Maud Oh, no; I'vo boon taking somo les sons in Volnpuk. Life, Much Out or I.lttlo. Tho hen, fool though sho is considered, pos sesses in n marked degrcotho faculty of mak ing much out of little. Feed lior corn by tho pint and 6ho eats it by tho peck. Bingham ton Republican. Lived In u lloardlne Hoiur. Dentist How did thoso now fillings work that I put in your teeth last month Spooncr (who boards) All right, I guess. I haven't had n chauco to try them yet. Lowell Citizen. Any Wny to Suit. Bereaved Widower (to ofllco boy) Thero is tho obituary notico of my wifo. Will you 6co that tho editor gets It? Ofllco Boy Yes, sir. Do you want it illus trated? Epoch. Compnrntlvo Oullt. Father What do you think of a boy that throws a banana skin on tho sldowalk? Son I don't know. What do you think of n banana skin that throws a man on tho sldo walk ?-Llfe, Ciiuin for Youthrul Sorrow. Many of us havo felt very soro over Michi gan's greatest industry. Sho produces mora 6hlnglcs thannll tho othor state in tho Union. Yonkurs Statesman. Hut Unrd to Keep. National banking in Cincinnati is not diffi cult. It is easy to got tho run of it. Louis villo Courier-Journal. A Natural CJiioHtlon. 1 frrrs 1 r 'ifl Young Mr. Sissy (to protty cou3ln) Do yon know, Maudo, that I havo all my hnta mndo to onlorr Pretty Cousin Thoy nro lovely, Chnrloy. I supiose tlio dealers don't carry such u small size in dock." Tho Epocli. Lincoln to Chicago without change via the Elkhoru line. ij'- t U. IH ft iwvi'ufrrvU IfwJff M3 1 1 ' AT WIKS1JADKN. TH SARATOGA OF GERMANY. Us llnndsoiiifl (liirdeui), I'nlHtliil 1'itl- nees nnd lis l.ocly Purlin Other AtlruclloiiN. Written forlhoCotiitiKU Opixmlto Mnyeuco, (Miilux ns the Hermans spoil it, ( on tho other side of the Hhlue Is Wiesbaden, onn of the. fntnous watering places In Germany. After break f its t nt our hotel, the Ithelnscher lrof, wo nil took the homo rnllwny, mid went to the depot across tho bridge mid nt tho little village of Ca-el wo took tho ears for Wiesbaden. It Is only a few miles from Mnyence. The situation Is lovely. Most of tho business imrtof tho town is on a plain, rapidly rising Into tho the high hills back of tho town. Wide ave nues have been graded through and by numerous gardens nnd parks. Tho streets along the hillsides are ndornod by costly resl donot'S of the host class of Hermans, and always with a profusion of shniblvry and flow ers,ross, vino covered vnKos,and grassy plats. Our pnrty wcro iiccomnuxlntcd by two car rlnges,und our drivers took in most nt the principal objects of Interest. The cabmen drive ns bard n hnrgalu hero, ns in Now York. We rodo for u tullo or more nloug well shaded n venues nnd attractive dwellings to the famous Greek Chapel, erected some yea i-h since by wealthy Husslnns. It is mi ex quisite seciuicu of architecture, not large in sl7o but costly in Its decorations. Tho whole interior is of )ollshod marbles from ltaly,0 recce and Kgypt,iiot a particle of wood work liclng iiMsl. Ouo of Its Interior attractions ir 'ho sar cophagus of a Ittissiau princess, ihvorated with more thnnii doen statues of heroes mid saints, around the sides of the polished mar ble block. Tho figure of the princes lies at full length in repose upon a tumble cusslou, covered w ith rich marble draierics, a thin veil of marble covers tho whole figure. In ho high esteem were the nrtlsts of this splendid chajxd, that appropriate niches nro adorned with statues of the architect, the binder, the sculptor ond decorator. Wo huvo seen noth ing in all our travels that surpnshcs this for benuty and costly decorations mid works In marble, except tho Memorial Chniiel to Prince Albert, erected by Queen Victoria to her lamentisl husband, near Windsor Castle. Both nro tmo specimens of the liest modern nrt. Near by the Greek Clmpcl Is tho tomplo of Nero, built on n jiolnt overlooking tho wide vnlloy of tho Khlne. Wo nro hero 1,fi00 feet nbovo the sen level. Tlio vlow Is worth a visit to Wleslmden, which lies sprended out before It, lwyond which is tho silvery stream of the llliluo nnil tho Hue bridge leading to Mayeuce, with its lino gardens nnd houses nnd lofty spires in full vlow. Nero's Temple Is simply a dome, not of largo dlmlnslous, suportcd by columns nnd ojxm to tho country on all sides. Wo returned by another raid which bjgught us in vlow of tho Boyal Palace nnd other princely edillccs.'ull of rare and choice design, but plnln in exterior. Tho petty princes of Gcrnmny'aro very nuinerom and all cannot Indulge In veiy costly residences. The rich aristocrats of tho country nro much mora ambitious, and often their homes surpass In splendor their more noble lords nnd dukes. Tlio same economy of tho soil is seen hero as on nil tho Hhlno from Cologno to Mnyence, vine yards nnd tho sugnr In-nt nro cultivated wherever a smnll piece of earth can lie found . Tho hills are terraced to their summits and mo under cultivation. Returning from the hills wo strolled through tho pnrks nnd gardens, somo of which were ndornisl with fountains of various devices, at times sending up n strong column of water to fall in spray into a marblo basin. The fountains in front of the Assembly House In tho midst of oxipisito tropical plants, nnd Hanked on both sides by the dense foliage of lindens, were the most lienutiful in Wiesbaden. The Colonnade with its long row of stone columns on the side open to tho strict and Its store, richly furnished for every want of mankind, from a watch to a pin, from a sealskin coat to n child's bib found nlways n crowd of promennderH. Tho Kochbruneu Springs, famous for cer tain human ailments had crowds of visitors, evidently the wealth nnd fashion of Europe can 1m found hero ns well as the overworked who need rest and change of scene from the vexations of trado. Whosoever has tho means can find n charm ing retreat horo in Wi'-sbaden. Wiesbaden hnd in 1871 n population of Xi, KK1 nnd hns Ik-oh steadily on the Increase. It is a strongly protcstant, town, 7,000 are Catholloand 1,000 Jews. In 18S2 the tourist nnd invalids numbered over 10,0000. Wil helmsstrasso is n lluo avenue half a mile long lined with trees leading to the Theatre square. The KurMial with its flno colonado of stones on two sides Is a umgulllcont building. It Is In the season the centra of attraction and Its ample halls are thronged with the wealthy and tho fashionable. It has a lxdl room, reading room, drawing room and con cert room, all finished in the highest style of disvoratlon, all connected with extensile pleasure grounds. Tho nrendo of Iron and brass oxteuds to the principal Boiling Spring (about 160 Fnronholt,) giving 17 cubic feet of water cr minute. Tlieronre ninny other springs for drinking and bathing, claiming special virtues. Tlieio are many water euro establishments for the cure of various human nilinents, nnd no doubt the usual share of quacks who I pretend to cure nil diseases. There are 1 llifrtv luitli ltfiiiv.,1 mill nvnr SJNl hi.tuiifiti, rooms. A library of 70,1X10 volumes and mi nrt gallery. Tlio worst form of gambling has been abolished since 1872. As a de lightful hummer resort by the liest clnss of jtcoplo In the wot Id It stands deservedly high. It was an old Roman military station uhleh were usually established for sanitary pur kh at thermal springs. Those old llomaiiswere no fools ns many old recordsnud i tilns attest. 1 Having learned mid seen nil we could jalioutthis famous Herman Saratoga wo il lumed to .Mayenco to look over this pinee which liasn very Interesting history. After a good nights rest nt our comfortable hotel, I stat tod out early In the morning for a stroll without a guide. Every place Is a sort of lr rra incni,UI(i to a stranger in luroH. Very near was tho great Cathedral of Mny ence. Its deep toned liell hnd Justcvnsisl tolling. It was the hour for service. I went in nnd found nil the seats In the nave of the church full, Tho lluo choir and orgnn were giv ing out Hue harmonies, the music was simple but eluntlug, Tho ritual proceeded ns iisiiiiI in nil t'lithollechurches. I Mood dur lug the recital until the sermon In (lei man begun, which, however eloquent, I did not appreciate. 1 liont n quiet retreat nnd found myself In a few minutes in the centra of n largo square facing a Hue statue, erected to thogreat German poet Hchlller This I could understand, as who that has rand him, has notlKs'n thrilled with the ilrnnintle siwer and (sietle elegance of this author. Passing onto the submits of tho tow linear tho wallsof the formications I was examining some old Roman walls us I Mipposed, nil Intelligent German came tqi to mo nnd siiiHxlng I was a stranger In town, offeusl kindly to show inn somo of the sights. He could uotsicakn word of English, but I understood w hut ho wished. Ho look me through the modern foili-osses, surrounding tho city mid by guards on duty which 1 could not have passed alone, then Into long avenues of shade trees loading to tho flue entrance to the come tary, the gardens, rich In llowers nnd orna inented shiubliery. My stranger guide, nil the time gesticulating mid talking in German to make me iindcrstuiid, In which he very well succeeded. It was n good object lesson, n rare one to mo mid not without some very ludicrous feutuicH lit my struggles to get knowledge. He pointed out novel id tombs of great artistic mei It nnd other objects of In. torest. Then turning to tho right at no great distance across the Holds he showed me the remains of the old Roman walls, prob ably built by "DrusiiH," 2,000 years ago. The masonry w ns very ancient. Then taking me by a uairow road through tho modern fortifications, by a short turn I found myself suddenly in tlio city. Howasn perfect gen tleman, one that you always dulcet, no mat ter or what race or language. I learned that he was a follower of Luther and ho said there were ten Cuthullo churches In Muyenco nnd one Lutheran. Madam do Ktai1!, who trav eled among nil the nations and tills In Euro? said she hnd met only two kinds of Ksiplo "men and women." I'lw biilili-snll look Just lll.o American babies nnd cry Just as loud In the cars, uro loved Just as much by their mama's as ours. The boys on the titreoU on their way to school look Just like school Isiys In Lincoln, play tho same games, at leap frag nnd mar bles mid kites, quarrel Justthe same mid play the smno tricks on each other. Tho women mo Just us fond of di ess and display, are loved by the men Just the same mid mako Juut us good wives, husbands and parents nnd woik Justus faithfully as with us fortholr homes. Whenever we found Germans that could H(ieak English, wo found ourselves at Ik mo, and when thoy found wo were Aineri cans took sjieclnl pains Ui give us all tlio In founatlon wodeslusl about their nation mid jHsiplo. Evidently Germans have a high opinion of thogreat nation on tho other side of the Atlnntlc.whero thousands of them have tstabllslusl themselves In good homes nnd found prosjierous times. Ournextstago willlnlng us to Stindmrg of which wo havo already given br'of ne ceunts. The weather is growing warm ond we shall svjii lie in Bomo cool retreats among tho Alps, where wii shall seo the springs of the Historic Rhine! HurdnltA's riillnsnplir. "OIVK THY THOnOHTS NO TONnUE." So you havo bought a dog, havo you, my boy? Well, that's all right. The dog Is c faithful friend and ft cheery coiniumlon for n long stroll; but constantly bear In mind this thing: If Ananlis had not been struck dead when ho was, tho chances nro that In less than n year ho would havo published a vol umo of dog stories, Bo proud of your dog, my boy, but romamlier whenuver n man tells a, story about his dog, ho Is never Inclined to fall shnmcfully short of the truth. I onco called on Truth In company with n friend of mine, n good man who owned n dog. As wo stood bowing at tho door ond semping our feet on tho snowy door mat, whllo Truth smiled i welcome, my frlond said: "I guess I won't let my dog como in. A funny tiling hnpKMiod ono day last week w hen ho wont calling with me. Ho went into the parlor" And Just then a crash of thunder rent tho heavens nnd mado tho earth tremble.. Error black as night, ugly as sin mid big as a mountain, stood grinning before us, nnd a boy enmo running up to bay that Truth had Just fallen into n Clarion county oil well 25,000 feet deep. COUHAOK AND HTUENOm. Funny Davonport is tho strongest woman on tho stage, and sho says sho dovclopcd her muscle by churning buttor on hor ranch in California, Just ono word in your oar, friends! wo havo eaten somo California ranch butter. You hnd that nnwclo beforo you churned it, ANOTIIKU CHANCK FOIl BOUOSIS. Mrs. Ewing enys in Tho Womnn's Journal that "sho liollovcs that 50,000 women could cam a living in this country by tho manu facture and salo of homo mndo bread." Wo lcllovo so, too. There's n fortuno In it. A iwiving material that will bo yielding to tho horse's foot, comparatively noiseless, and yet moro ilurablo than Belgian block, Is some thing the: has not yot boon discovered. On to tho front, O woman I THEY WOllK UETTKn IN THE OI'FICE. "Havo you suffered much from train rob bers, conductor?" asked n jKisscnger over tho Wabash. "Not at all," replied tho oHlclal, "I haven't seen a director on tho train slnco lost November." And only tho sighing pralrlo winds swopt plaintively through tho windows, and tho rattling wheels went click ing monotonously on "I-cloanod-'em-out; I-clonnod-'oin-out; I-clounod-'ein-out," Ilrook lyn Englc, Where I thn Museum Slim? Editor do young man)-8o you would Ilk b place on tho paper as reporter, would you I Young Man Yes, sir; but I'm Just from co1!to nnd I don't suppose I'll amount to much for a year or two. Eil i tor (after recording from ft swoon, brought on by surprise nt tho young gradu ate's exceptional modesty) Just ono mo ment, young iiinn, and I'll talk biisinoivs with you Thn Ejiocli. A Wise Decision. We havo rand a llttlo of tho writings of overy poet, from Chnueer down to Hiram Wilson, tlio jxxit laureate of Grassy Lick, but wo havo not loarncd enough about it to un dertake to correct tho manuscript of tho original verses frequently sent to this oflloj for publication, and wo Imvo decided that nil poetry must go in verbatim ct llteratuni with tho manuscript. Mount Btcrllug (Ky.) Bon-tiuol-Dumocrut. I TIIMTIIKATIIICAIi WOKM). A WEEK'S REVIEW AND PROSPECTIVE. The field nT Amusement In I.IihoIii. Nows About IMnjs, Arlois, lite. TIIK OI'KllATIt) KVKNT. I'uosdiiy livening last tho Cnrleton okiii conimny presented "Kriulnio"nt the Fiinko to n very good nudlenco. The title role was taken by Miss Alice Tlnceut, n young lady of preiNMsensliig appearance who In also possess ed of a very.fliio voice, Hho was the ivclplont pr much applause, mid In fact hers wnsn most finished performance. The pat t of I la venues was taken by Mr. W. T. Cailctoii,aud as ho was In his usual gtssl Milco It was well rtiiideied. Ills singing of "Rose Mm lo" In tho third net was rapturously iccelvcd, and won hlni a recall. Mr. Robert lliodeilckns Marquis do Convert, Miss Mngglo Ilnxtorns Captain Dellnnnay, and Miss Clam Wisdom ns Princess do Oruuqioiicur nro deserving of sss'lal mention. KKHK KM.Ht.KllH, "KtlVIT," The nudlenco nt tho Fuiikn Wtslnesdny evening to son Elllo Kllsler in her now piny "I'-Kypt" was n largo ouo mid ouo that thoroughly appraclntod tho talontisl folly's work. In her new chnructer Miss Ellsler Is given ample opiiortuiilly to show her excell ent qualifications for acting of the nlither order, Miss Ellsler Is a finished artist and the play sho Is In starring In, gives promise of making a brilliant repiitatl-m for tho lady nnd adding now laurels to her already estab. llshed successes. The construction of tlio now play Is similar to that of "Lorlo, the Artist's Dream," In nsinuchas that In tho Hint pal t of the play tho heroine goiis lo sleep mid waken up In the Inst net to find thnt every thing that had transpired was nil a dream, The statuary scone In the fourth act was a dlllloult part for tho actress, as It necessitates her standing erfoctly stllltmit polnstul with out support during thu entire act. Tho sup IHirtlng cotnKiny was very go si and the en gagement was one of the most enjoyable ones we have hnd this season, UIIA.Y PATCH LAST NlflllT. Funke's was comfoitably filled Inst evening to see what Kate Castlefou nnd lior conqmny of comedians had to offer for the enjoyment of the fun-loving patrons, mid well may It ho wild that oreryone present enjoyi da dollght- iui livening, jviiss (,'nnilflou who very clever 1 ly takes tho part of Hybllln Tubbs, a bashful I girl Just homo finui tho homdliig school, In triHlpivs n foivy of toplcnl songs, which nro, of course, loudly applauded, and her treat- incut of tho "Poor Mnnluc." Is certainly gen tle mid kind, though not nppi eclated. Ar- thur Hell as Dr Hulllvan, tho victim orn plot, acceptably fills the bill, whllo William HiHth, who ImngliKs himself to bo John L., the slugger, rrcntes much Inughter nt Ids victim's expense, mid the chnrncter is well taken by Eddie Foy In fact the entire cist Is an excellent one in whoso hands "Crazy Patch" finds a successful and entertaining presentation, There will lxi n matliieo this afternoon and another irforiunnco to night, on which occasions "Crazy Patch" will re ceive its final presentations. HUNCH OK KEYH. On next Thursday evening tholxwinls at tho Fuiiku will Isi occupied by that sterling com pany known mi familiarly as tho Ssuk's Hunch of Keys combination, under the man agement of the author, Frank W. Sanger. This extremely funny piny hasbs'iion the i road live jeurs, nnd with tho several changes ' this season, is meeting with even Isdlcr siic I cess than it was accorded on Its previous sor I les of successful tours. The piquant and ' dashing little actress Marietta Nash makes all out of the jiart of Teddy Keys that them Is lu It, while James Mnckle, lu the great charai ter of Grimes, has never Iss'ii equaled, and . iJ-SfSN w ith George Iuur as Snnggs, the iiiisi finds lu thoroughly enjoyable rendition. The .Vn 1 itrl: llernliVx ci itlcs snvs "A Hunch of Kes" still pisso fts gieat at I tractions for the public, despite its frequent I ivprt'scntatioii in this city At least that Is what seemed to lx the ea,e last night at the Grand l)Kni houv), for the house was throng- tsl to overflowing This rattling, farcical i prtsluctlim bristlitt with funny situations so i closely followtsl non tsich other that the audience was in almost a continuous sstl of laughter until the cuitalii fell. The songs, ilniuvH and nuslleys which form nit iuiH)rtnut Item in the piny weie very nleojy rendeml. jCCN -V5FN , V. MliwNwdi as Tis Idy Keys, Mr. Macklo n (runes, inn! Air, Ijiiui! ns Hnnggswero ox trainely funny, and the rest of the company wen) Just as entertaining and clever, , TIIK IIANI.ONH KANTAHMA. ' Tho coiniuu enunuemeiit of the Hanlons Iintnsinn nt Funke's next week IsIimiIiimI for-! ward to with an unusual amount of Interest, ' and our theater-gocm hnvo enuso lo exect lunch In Iho several Hrformincrs of noxt vltsik. The coiniMiny played at lloyd's In Omaha Inst week to Immense liuslness i.ml the lire In soukliig of It says It was tholluest. presentation of "Fnntasina" ever seen in Omaha, This menus much, for Fniilasnm in racognlred everywhere us one of the grandest sHsjtaeular plays Isiforo Iho American pub lic, at d now Hint It, hns Iss'ii Improved, It stands nt (he hend of this class of plays, Qt their recent engagement in Chlcngo, tha 7WiiiMi'says: "People were turned away from the Grand 0srii llhouse, wheiotho Hanlons nH)iieil with Iho spectacular production ofFnuta ma." Thn tcrforiimuro Is not now In Chi cago, but thoroJinvo Iss'ii many chnnges In tho thing mid sbmeof the niechmilirg effects are novel and striking, The wvi scene Is es t IHH'Inlly noteworthy, and hoiiui very fnent work Is done in tho wny of mid idr nuslnos from wires. Miss Lnuta Hint, whoapiicunt as tho Fnlry Qmsul. IsBoiiimvlintof a novelty In that character, liiasinueli as she Is somo thing mora than a woman with a pretty fnca nnd symmetrical figure, thn usual total qual ities of one w ho plays the part. She is n flno singer, wllh a wonderful soft voice, and Is n. clover netrcss ns well. As n whole, tho isir foi malice Is one of the best of Its kind. It Is a iHirforiniince almost exclusively forthoiiyes nnd ItilocHfittiurt eyis a great ninny of I hem," The first performance of the three nlght'H ciungcineiil ori'iirHMiiiidiiyavoiiliig, nnd scat uro now on sale at usual prices. (,'iiitliin Aunlual Oiniilin, Written forllieC'oitiiii'.it. Must over been In Omaha, Where rolls the dark Missouri down. And four stnmg horses senrcaciiudruvr An empty wiiKoti throiiuh (he town? Where muddy waters rise and swnll, Willi fearful and resistless mlidit; Whore fish uro eaunht by umiko of smell llccatisu Ihey cannot seo to blto? Where sard Is blown from every mound To Mil vouroyes nnd ears and throat, Where nil I lie steamers nro Iimrounil And all thelioiisos are allonl? Whore InKor beer Isnll tniwruii, And bloody scalpers como to t ratio; Whuro everything Is overdone, And oveijbody uiiilorpald? If not, lake bred to what I sayi You'll Mud II Just ns I havo round t And If It lies upon lour way. 1 Forllciivoii'sHiikniiiyfrlciiilKiirtiundlt Illrst Uporlul Cabins. London Cablo Corresjionden How is nowa today? Assistant There's very llttlo going on; don't know what we're to tlo. "Wrlto up ft teto-n-tcta hctwocn Queen Vio torlftiind John U Hulllvan, Intimating that her majesty has offcrctl him tho plncoloft vacant by tho death of John Brown." HYcs,lr. AnyUifng.elsor . , "Well, you might Icuoc-U together a column to tho effect that tho 'IVirleH nro preparing to hitch n roo around Ireland mitt tow it up to tho north jkiIo. Guess that'll All up tho re mainder of Iho space," Omaha World, One Way Out or It. A I'oein on Childhood, Tho Imnl was asked to couqioM) n llttlo poem usm his childhood, nnd this Is w hat ho produced: "How dear to my heart Is tho school I attended, mid how 1 remember, x distant and dim, that rod headed Bill and tho plu that I U'uiled, and carefully put on tho tieucli under him. And how I recall tho surprise of the master, when Hill gnvo a yoll mid sprang up from tho pin so high thnt hU bullet head smashed up tho plaster above, and the scholars all set up n din. Tho active boy Hilly, that high leaping Hilly, that loud shouting IJllly who sat on u pin." Toledo Blade, Whj She Silt Down. This inoiuing a young lady wns passing a resldoiico on whoso steps w as a young man, nnd in front of which wns n dog. In ft flash her feet went out from under her and sho went down on the ley walk. Tho dog In n playful mood rushed to her nssUtance, whllo the young man, not nt nil omburm&cd, asked: "Did you fall f" "Well, I should think I hnd," said tho young ludy, rUJug nnd rearranging her head gear. "Yes," responded tho youth, "I thought it must lo fuunv If you sat down to play with tho dog." Allmny Journal. Served Hot. "Mndnni," pleaded tho tramp, piteou&ly, "I nm hungry to starving, May I kike a fow snowtudls to cat from your side yard I" "Certainly, my poor man," replied tha woman with the big heart, kiudp-, "and if you like I'll warm them up for you. ,Wft lAjiLk' iVi. zzzz -Life, A