Adventurers
Club _
“The Hr id fie That Wasn't There”
By FLOYD GIBBONS
Famous Headline Hunter.
WELL, give a good look at this one. boys and girls, from Dr.
Alexander E. Strath-Gordon of East Orange, N. J. If you
ever read this yarn he is going to tell you, in a novel, you
wouldn’t believe it could happen. If your own brother told it to
you, you’d tell him he was just plain goofy.
Doc Strath-Gordon thought he was cracked himself when
he found out what had happened. And the people he told his
■tory to thought he was crazy, too—for a while. But here are the simple
facts, all checked and attested and sworn to. You can't get around the
truth of the thing.
You can’t say it was a dream, because a bridge is a big,
heavy, solid object. If it’s there, It’s there, and if It ain’t, it ain't
You can’t dream it out of place and then back again.
All of which leads up to Doc’s story. The date is August, 1909, and
the place is—well—somewhere on the road between Seattle, Wash., and
Duwamish Head on the other side of Billot bay. Doe was practicing
medicine in Scuttle and he had received a hurry call from a patient in
Duwamish Head.
Patient’s Husband Thinks Doc Flew to Sick Room.
He started out In his ear, and you know whnt those 1900 vintage
automobiles were like. To make mutters worse, the dirt roads of the
time were wet from a week's stendy rain. Parts of them were flooded.
Hut a patient had called him, ami even though he was twenty miles
away, It was up to Doc to get to him If he possibly could.
The night was pitch dark. The roade were unllghted, and
the flickering kerosene headlamps that rattled on the tides of
Doc's horseless carriage didn't throw any light on the road at
all. There were two waye to get to Duwamiah Head and Doc
took the shorter. It took him an hour and half to cover that
twenty miles, but when he got there, hie patient’a husband said:
“Good gosh, but you made that trip fast. How did you manage
to get here so quickly?”
Well, sir, Doc thought that was funny, but he didn’t say anything
then. Ills patient was waiting, and he was needed in the sick room. He
worked over her for half an hour until she wus out of danger, and then
be went out to assure her husband that everything was all right
Doc Hears He Crossed Bridge That Was Out.
He sat down for a few moments’ rest before starting on the return
trip, and again his patient’s husband brought up the subject of the quick
ness with which he had arrived,
“How the dickens did you come here, anyway, Doctor?” he
asked. “Did you fly?”
“Why, I came by the Bay Side road, of course,” aaid Doc.
The man looked at Doc sort of curiously. "You couldn’t have,”
he said bluntly. “The bridge la out.”
Doc thought he was Joking, and tried to laugh It off. Hut the man
Insisted the bridge was being repaired—that the planking was all off and
The Car Crossed Like an Acrobat on a Tight Rope.
It was Impassable. He told Doc that the only available route to bis house
was the upper road, a “S mile trip.
He began to urge Doc to stay all night, anti at last Doc saw he was
serious. Then It occurred to Doc that the uinn must have gone lusune, or
become unnerved by his wife’s Illness.
Daylight Reveals That Bridge Wasn’t There.
Says Doc: “1 decided to stay with him, partly to humor an over
wrought man, and partly because I didn’t think It safe to leave his sick
(wife alone with one In such condition. 1 spent the night at his house, and
Jn the morning he brought the subject up again at breakfast. He said:
'Now Doc, let’s both go down aud look at that bridge before you go back
to town.'"
There wae something In that fellow's manner that reminded
Doc of a aane man humoring a tick one. It occurred to him then
that this bird thought he was the crazy one. But he agreed to go
down and look over the bridge, which wae only a mile away from
the house. They got into Doc’e car and drove the short distance
down the road. They got In sight of the bridge, and then—
“Imagine my surprise—even horror," suys Doc, “when I saw that
bridge In broad daylight. All that he had told me was true! There was
nothing left of the bridge but the gaunt string pieces—two of them—
running from one side of the river to the other.
Strath-Gordon Had Piloted Car Over Fingers of Death.
“The planking—the rails—the superstructure, all had been taken
away. And yet, I had come across that bridge In the darkness of the
night I knew that. I wasn’t crazy. And yet. for a moment, 1 began to
think that 1 was losing my mind.
“The string pieces were the answer. They were lest than a
foot wide, each, but they were separated by the same width as
the wheels of my automobile. I had driven across them in the
dark, like an acrobat on a tight wire. My heart came into my
throat when 1 thought of what might have happened.
“All the local people knew that the bridge was Impassable, so no
warning sign had been posted. I, not knowing this, and having crossed It
So many times before, drove over It automatically. The only way I can
explain the miracle la that, having a surgeon's hand. I drove with the
same ateadlness with which 1 performed operations. Had 1 deviated an
Inch from the straight path over that bridge, I would have fallen Into deep
water—and I might not have attended my patient.’’
©—WNU Servlc*.
Tortoise Carries Water
in Travel Over Dry Land
The word tortoise Is applied to
the land turtle. Sometimes called
the ground hog of California for
his habit of hibernating during the
rainy season, there is still another
nickname that might be given. “The
little camel of the desert." Locat
ed under the hard shell is a mem
brane sack in which they store a
supply of water to carry on their
travels far from streams and ponds.
From plant life growing on the
wastelands they obtain more than
enough moisture for their daily
use and are able to store up a
supply so large, that If a person
(suffering from thirst could locate
the animal, they would he able to
obtain enough water to curry them
over a period of two or three days
Possessing no teeth, states a
writer in the Loa Angeles Times,
their Jaws are hard and sharp on
the edge, forming a beak. This Is
the means they use to grind their
food small enough to swallow The
large shell protects them from any
attacking enemy. They are in reai
Ity their own foe. The males when
fighting strive to overturn the op
ponent. When this occurs, thex
have no means to right themselves
and are left to die by the victor
Land turtles are sun creatures and
when night cornea or the day Is
dark and gloomy they seldom pu'
in appearance.
?0uydj2Aui
Tomb of Cecil Rhodes.
Proparcd hv the National Geographic Society.
Waahlngton. D. C.-WNU Service.
A PIONEER country’s memorials
are usually natural features.
Rhodesia has Its Indaba tree
and Its Matopo hills. Hut the
most curious spectacle extant associ
ated with Rhodes is that deserted,
craterllke pit at the Kimberley dia
mond mines, where he began digging
the fortune which made possible his
future colonizing schemes.
Picture Kimberley In the 1870s. Atop
a bucket, alongside the checkerboard
pattern of claims, sits a big. rumple
haired, slackly garbed English youth,
staring Into vacancy. In him Natal has
lost a cotton grower, and the world
will one day gain—to put It thus, since
his name is Rhodes—a Colossus.
The English doctors gave this young
Cecil John Rhodes a year or so to llvt*
bnt the South African climate has
saved him. From death to diamonds,
and from them to vast wealth, South
African statesmanship, and empire
building—such will be the swiftly as
cended rungs during a life that will
end at forty-nine years.
Meanwhile he dreams—lie Is an in
corrigible dreamer. Presently he will
be making wills, based on some future,
chimerical wealth, to the end of ex
tending the British empire so vastly ns
to "render wnrs Impossible and pro
mote the best interests of humanity."
The two ithodeslas, of which the
Northern colony Is almost double the
size of the Southern, contain about two
anti a half million Bantus and but (II.
000 persons of European descent. And
over what an expanse ure these few
scattered! One might roughly com
pare the area of the Ithodeslas with
that of the thirteen states, or parts
of states, lying south of Pennsylvania,
east of the Ohio and Mississippi rivers,
eastward along the Gulf of Mexico, and
north of a hypothetical line running
through ttmtral Florida.
Picture the above region as being
occupied by a population only nine
times that of Atlanta. Ga.—a popula
tion wherein the Bantu and white
races are proportioned at 40 to 1. Con
sider, along with that, a civilization
only four decades old, and you have
the basic elements of Rhodesia, the
pioneer colony.
Land of Real Pioneers.
In Rhodesia, individual effort has de
veloped Into co-operation, crop special
izing into mixed farming, und a de
partment of agriculture, having to do
with the cultural and financing sides
of Rhodesian husbandry, has come into
being for the benefit of the pioneers.
“Pioneer,” he it noted. Is strictly
masculine. We have heard of the
farmerette and the avlntrix, hut never
of the “ploneeress.” Comparing the
proportion of women to men In given
countries, one finds tlint the older civ
ilizations generally have an excess of
the former over the latter, whereas the
reverse Is true of lands later settled,
such as Canadn, New Zealand, the
United States, and Australia. Now, in
this matter of male surplusage, the
yet-younger Rhodesia out-tops almost
all countries and exceeds the above
named quartette by a “masculinity” of
from four to seven times greater.
That conveys, of course, no social
picture of Bhodesla, where woman Is
playing her full part, ns always. Rath
er, It tells the old story—that the foot
free man strikes out for new lands
and. In time, sends overseas for that
“girl at home" to make the land worth
living In.
And just here the governmental set
tlers-asslstnnce schemes enter the pic
ture. Somewhat similar in effect to
the Homstead act that, in 1802, called
American pioneers to plant their homes
on free western lands, the Rhodesian
assistance schemes went much further,
in ottering nominally free passages
from England to the colony and, up
on the settler’s arrival, free agricul
tural instruction for a year.
Like the homesteader, he pledged
himself to remain for three years. Un
like the homesteader, he was subject
to a minimum and n maximum of avail
able capital, and bought his land, at a
dollar or so per ncre, on a 24-year In
stallment plan.
Settlers Have Good Homes.
To reach a Rhodesian settler's farm
stead, you might possibly drive 20
wooded miles olf the turnpike, and, if
It is after nightfall, hear some stray
lion gulping gutturally in the distance.
Yet, once arrived, you find yourself In
a true home that the man and his wife
have made together, lie and his na
tive hoys have built the house, plan
ning it around a big central room with
a wide hearth. She has made it
bright with gav curtains, with the rugs
brought from overseas, with the horne
'-•iid’s flowers.
And the smart furniture? Well
Rhodesia has its teak, and it Is as*
tonlshlng what carpentry nutlve "boys’
can achieve with the assistance of de
signs cut from household magazines,
and the vicarious elbow grease of your
constant presence.
Across the broad acres tbe reaped
corn stands In regimented stacks.
There’s a farm store where the settler
sells to his native "boys.” For amuse
ments, there are horseback riding,
hunting, and fishing, books from pub
lic libraries, and maybe a radio set.
As for educating the regional set
tlers’ children, a minimum of ten pu
pils calls for the establishment of a
governmental school. Falling that num
ber, in sparsely peopled sections, there
will he an ‘‘aided farm school,” with
a government grant for each child.
Heading eastward from Salisbury,
you soon find yourself nearing those
mountains beyond which extends Por
tuguese territory. Completely cupped
within their foothills’ lofty profiles lies
Umtali, eastern outpost of the Rho
deslus. Nothing could reveal itself as
as a more charming surprise than this
neat little town, tucked away on the
colony’s remote verge, its streets lined
with tall tluinboyant trees that rear
their masses of scnrlet blossoms
against the mountain-ringed valley’s
vastness of overhead blue.
A 250-mlle swing around a circle
centering on Umtali reveals it as
Rhodesia's gateway to the wild heart
of things, where waterfalls plunge over
precipices, and primitive forests clothe
the land with silence, and nude peaks
pile their shapes against the sky.
The Matopo Hills.
At times you traverse 50 miles of
wild woodland that offer no more guid
ing features than a dry stream-bed or
some cement causeway, built at low
level to allow sea^opal torrents to
sweep across Instead of under It. Bril
liantly plumaged birds tlash past,
groups of rock perched baboons dis
cuss family affairs. Issuance into the
open, with a mission church ahead,
is an experience, while the passage of
mime other car is a downright sen
sation.
Yet, though you would not have
guessed It, there are often kraals near
the road, and thus you get a glimpse
of native corngrinding, snuffmaking,
'hairdressing (as complicated a process
as permanent-waving), and listen to
a fat old grandmother telling Uncle
Remus stories In the orlginnl version.
Near Bulawayo you visit the Matopo
hills. After a few hours’ drive, the
land begins heaping Itself into a wide
series of rocky kopjes. Here nature
seems to have worked haphazard,
flinging so many great bowlders atop
of so many pinnacles that one might
well call the place the Valley of Bal
ancing Stones.
Now you clamber up the vast,
smooth slant of a massive formation
and find yourself on a rocky plateau,
feeling antlike beside the huge, glob
ular bowlders that are perched there
over "World’s View." Away stretches
the tumbled kbpje heaped valley, re
sembling earth’s beginnings as sculp
tured by some supernal llodin, who
has tossed the half-tlnished work aside,
saying, “Make out of It what you can."
The bowlders Immediately encircling
you are vivid with lichen, in reds,
greens, and gold. A child would call
this a fairy place, and dream of en
chantments. Then suddenly one se
vere slab, imbedded over what was laid
to rest In the blasted-out heart of the
rock, tells you that here has been high
burial:
“This Power that wrought on us and
goes
Back to the Power again . .
Ah, power! Far better than any
cathedral aisle does this “View of the
World,” Rhodes’ self-chosen burial
place, suit with the rugged power of
the man. The gnarled pinnacles are
his cathedral's spires, the richly hued
bowlders his stained-glass windows.
Once, when Rhodes was a boy, he
asked a gray-haired man why he should
thus be busied planting oaks, since
he would never live to see them full
grown. Unforgettably for Rhodes, the
veteran replied that he had the vision
to see others sitting under the trees'
shade when he himself had gone. And
well may Rhodesia be likened to an
English oak, springing by like vision
from the dust now resting under the
slab in the Matopo hills.
Just an Idea
It was John Ruskin who said it long
ago, but it Is still true that the man
who looks for the crooked things will
see the crooked things, and the man
who looks for the straight will see the
straight
SEEN
and
HEARD
around the
NATIONAL
CAPITAL
Washington.—On the outgo side
of the national ledger the relief
item Is the most Important single
factor In determining how far the
budget falls short of balancing. Any
congressional debate on relief, there
fore invariably brings in the budget
question. Recently the senate de
bated relief—and heard about the
budget.
The most searching examination
of the budget problem came from a
Democrat—Senator Byrd of Vir
ginia. frequent critic of New Deal
policies. He brought up the ques
tion. Why is the budget suffering
from progressively increasing relief
expenditures when business condi
tions are improving?
On the basis of figures supplied
by the acting director of the budget,
Mr. Byrd calculated that in the fis
cal year starting July 1 the gov
ernment would spend for ordinary
purposes and relief $G00,000,000
more than in the current year.
“This means," he said, "that we
will spend nearly $1,000,000,000
more than In 1936 and $3,000,000,000
more than in 1933; yet conditions
today are greatly Improved and the
need for relief and governmental
expenditures is much less than in
those previous years."
In 1937, he continued, the govern
ment will collect $1,600,000,000 more
in taxes than In 1936, "and still the
deficit continues in an alarming
amount."
Similar protests against Increas
ing taxes were voiced at last week’s
general meeting of the Iron and
Steel institute in New York. Re
marking that relief expenditures
were mounting at the same time
that employment and payrolls were
going up, Eugene G. Grace, presi
dent of the institute, said that “the
only sure way to cure unemploy
ment and solve the problem of re
lief Is to increase production.”
As a sidelight to all this discus
sion of government spending, the
treasury announced plans for our
largest peace-time financing opera
tion—$2,050,000,000—which was of
fered on June 15. It will increase
the public debt to about $32,600,000,
000, the highest yet.
All States Share
Benefits under the Social Security
act are now shared, under one or
more of Its provisions, by all the
48 states as well as Hawaii and
Alnska, according to a survey made
at the office of the Social Security
board.
The survey revealed that, since
February and up to the period end
ing June 30, the Social Security
board has approved grants in aid or
administration expenses totaling
about $30,000,000. Most of this has
been paid to those states that have
qualified under unemployment com
pensation and public assistance
laws approved by the bonrd.
The board also has mnde payment
for expenses of administering un
employment compensation laws, as
well as grants for other social serv
ices carried on under the children’s
bureau of the Department of Labor,
the Public Health service and the
office of education.
Scope of Aid Widened
Although not every state has
shared in all the benefits of the So
cial Security act, the number of
states submitting plans for approval
to the Social Security board is in
creasing. Eleven states and the Dis
trict of Columbia already have had
unemployment compensation plans
approved by the board. About 7,000.
000 workers, or 40 per cent of all
those eligible in the entire country,
now are covered by approved plans.
In addition, plans for old age as
sistance (free pensions) have been
approved by the bonrd for 32 states,
which now have 628,674 needy aged
on their rolls. Twenty-one state
laws covering assistance to more
than 20.000 blind persons have been
approved by the board.
Nineteen state plnns for aid to
184,803 dependent children also have
been approved.
me Doaru nas maue no omcial es
timates of federal benefit payments,
but an unofficial tally revealed these
approximate figures for the Febru
ary-June. 193G, period.
Pubtio assistance .J22.437.19S.S4
Unemployment compensation 847,100.29
Vocational rehabilitation 841,000.00
Public Health Service .... 8.333,333.00
Children's bureau . 1.969.916.22
Flans are being made for an enu
meration of 26,000,000 wage-earners,
who will be covered on January 1,
1987, by the old-age benefit (com
pulsory contributory pensions) pro
vision of the security act.
Federal Role Indirect
The Social Security act delimits
the functions of the federal and
state governments. The states have
the primary task of administration
of laws enacted by them, passing of
amendments, appointment of start
' and organization of unemployment
I compensation commissions.
The role of the federal govern
ment is Indirect, being primarily
concerned with protecting the state
funds and seeing to it that the state
organizations are properly admin
istered.
Under the provisions of the act
the federal government can insure
collection of comparable statistical
material that would otherwise be
difficult with interstate and federal
state co-operation. Since the fed
eral government is responsible for
all expense of state administrations,
it is directly interested in the effi
cient expenditures of this money.
Under the public health section of
the security act there has resulted
a closer co-ordination of health ac
tivities of federal, state and lo
cal governments, according to Dr.
Thomas l'arran, surgeon-general of
the public health service. Before the
act only 540 local health units were
in operation out of a total of 3,000
counties in the United States, in
three months 175 new local health
units were added to this number, an
increase of more than 30 per cent.
Eleven states have set up new
units for the study of industrial hy
giene, bringing the total to sixteen.
Grants from the funds under the act
have enabled California, Washing
ton, Montana and Idaho to set up
special facilities for the control of
bubonic plague.
In the realm of special projects
Alabama has been assisted in ex
tending its efforts toward the erad
ication of hookworm and Missouri
and Tennessee have been assisted in
their tight against trachoma.
Link A. T. T. and “Wealth”
A former Harvard instructor
traced for the communication com
mission’s Investigation of the Amer
ican Telephone & Telegraph com
pany evidence he said showed a link
between the utility and its subsid
iaries and “a large part of the total
corporate wealth of the United
States.”
He was Dr. N. R. Danielian, who
under questioning of Samuel Becker,
special counsel for the Investiga
tion, said that primary considera
tion of the company in selecting di
rectors was “not familiarity with
the problems of the telephone in
dustry, but men who boast wide in
terests” in other Industries.
Danielian contended directors
were selected as a “channel of
spreading good will.”
Summarizing a study of member
ship in chambers of commerce,
boards of trade, Rotary, Kiwanis,
I.Ions and similar clubs, the witness
said 35 telephone corporations had
spent $4,838,038 for "dues and con
tributions” in the last ten years.
“It appears," he testified, "that
the telephone subscriber has paid
the major part of these dues and
contributions."
Jobs for 1,660 Youths
Success In placing 1,660 unem
ployed young people In private Jobs
by the National Youth administra
tion’s 24 junior placement services
was reported to Aubrey W. Wil
liams, executive director of the N.
Y. A., by Dr. Mary H. S. Haynes,
director of guidance and placement.
Representing the efforts of N. Y.
A. employment counselors in ten
states during March and April the
1,660 jobs were obtained through
2,485 visits to private employers.
The number of positions obtained
in April was 940, an increase of 30
per cent over the March total of 720.
The 24 placement services includ
ed In this report are situated in T.os
Angeles, San Francisco, Calif.;
Bridgeport, New Haven and Hart
ford, Conn.; Davenport, Cedar Rap
ids, Council Bluffs, Des Moines, Wa
terloo and Sioux City, Iowa ; Boston,
Worcester and Springfield, Mass.;
Concord, Nashua and Manchester,
N. II.; Brooklyn and Bronx, N. Y.;
Fort Worth, Texas; Durham, N. C.
(two offices); Chicago and Indian
apolis. A twenty-fifth placement
service was established in Richmond
during May.
Applications for jobs during the
two months totaled 6,989. This
means that 24 per cent of that to
tal were placed in private Jobs.
Of the total 6,9.89 people apply
ing, more than 6,100, or 88 per cent,
were from families not on relief, the
report showed. Thirty-five per cent
of all the young people who applied
have never worked, the report stat
ed. N. Y. A. services are, by ex
ecutive order of the President, lim
ited to young people between six
teen and twenty-five years of age.
The New Speaker
The new speaker of the house,
Representative William Brockman
Bankhead of Alabama, is not happy
over the manner of his elevation.
It wns at the expense of the life of
Speaker Joseph Wellington Byrns of
Tennessee. Less than two years ago
both Bankhead and Byrns were bat
tling for the speakership, following
the death of Speaker Henry T.
Rainey of Illinois. Byrns won.
Speaker Bankhead is a veteran
member of congress, having first
been elected In 1916. He is a broth
er of Senator John Bankhead.
Speaker Bankhead was born in Mos
cow, Ala., in 1874, son of Senator
John and Tallulah Bankhead.
Speaker Bankhead has been a
strict Dixie Democrat.
WNU Service.
The Phrase “Touch Wood”
The phrase “Touch wood” is the
symbol of a strong superstition. Va
rious explanations, logical and oth
erwise have been suggested, but the
most likely one is that the phrase
is a corruption of “touch rood,” the
church rood being in a place of
sanctuary where a poor, hunted fel
low was safe from his enemies. And
seemingly, it was during Cromwell’s
time that it became “touch wood”
instead of “touch rood,” the change
itself doubtless being for safety in
view of the religious feelings of
Oliver and his followers.
May Be So
How the prehistoric animals might
laugh if they snw some of the models
In the museums intended to be rep.
lieas of them.
Ws
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Peterman's kills them — red ants, black anta.
others. Quick. Safe. Guaranteed effective 24
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25c, 35c and 60c packages at your i.'uggiat'a.
Blemishes
Made Her
Old Looking
Face Clear Again with
Cuticura Soap and Ointment
Here is a letter every skin sufferer
should read. Its message is vital.
“There were blemishes oa my face,
of external origin, and they made me
look old and haggard. They were
red, hard and large. They would
hurt, and when I scratched them the
skin would become Irritated, and I
would lie awake at night and start
digging at my face.
“But after using two cakes of
Cuticura Soap and one tin of Cuti
cura Ointment my face was cleared
again.” (Signed) Mrs. L. Whetzler,
2nd St., Floreffe, Pa., June 15, 1935.
Physicians can understand such
letters. The Cuticura formulas have
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half a century. Remember, Cuticura
Soap and Ointment are also for pim
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eczema and other externally caused
skiu blemishes. All druggists. Soap )
25c. Ointment 25c.—Adv.
DO you suffer burning, scanty of
too frequent urination; backache,
headache, dizziness, loss of energy,
leg pains, swellings and puffiness
under the eyes? Are you tired, nerv- *
ous—feel all unstrung and don't
know what is wrong?
Then give some thought to your
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and to poison and upset the whole
system.
Use Doan's Pills. Doan's are for the
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tVNU—U 26—at
DOLLARS & HEALTH
The successful person is a healthy per
son. Don’t let yourself be handicapped
by sick headaches, a sluggish condition,,
stomach “nerves” and other dangerous*
signs of over-acidity.
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Milnesia, the original milk of magnesia
in wafer form, neutralizes stomach acids,
gives quick, pleasant elimination. Each
wafer equals 4 teaspoonfuls milk of mag.
nesia.Tast)*, too. 20c, 35c&60c everywhere.
