Adventurers Club _ “The Hr id fie That Wasn't There” By FLOYD GIBBONS Famous Headline Hunter. WELL, give a good look at this one. boys and girls, from Dr. Alexander E. Strath-Gordon of East Orange, N. J. If you ever read this yarn he is going to tell you, in a novel, you wouldn’t believe it could happen. If your own brother told it to you, you’d tell him he was just plain goofy. Doc Strath-Gordon thought he was cracked himself when he found out what had happened. And the people he told his ■tory to thought he was crazy, too—for a while. But here are the simple facts, all checked and attested and sworn to. You can't get around the truth of the thing. You can’t say it was a dream, because a bridge is a big, heavy, solid object. If it’s there, It’s there, and if It ain’t, it ain't You can’t dream it out of place and then back again. All of which leads up to Doc’s story. The date is August, 1909, and the place is—well—somewhere on the road between Seattle, Wash., and Duwamish Head on the other side of Billot bay. Doe was practicing medicine in Scuttle and he had received a hurry call from a patient in Duwamish Head. Patient’s Husband Thinks Doc Flew to Sick Room. He started out In his ear, and you know whnt those 1900 vintage automobiles were like. To make mutters worse, the dirt roads of the time were wet from a week's stendy rain. Parts of them were flooded. Hut a patient had called him, ami even though he was twenty miles away, It was up to Doc to get to him If he possibly could. The night was pitch dark. The roade were unllghted, and the flickering kerosene headlamps that rattled on the tides of Doc's horseless carriage didn't throw any light on the road at all. There were two waye to get to Duwamiah Head and Doc took the shorter. It took him an hour and half to cover that twenty miles, but when he got there, hie patient’a husband said: “Good gosh, but you made that trip fast. How did you manage to get here so quickly?” Well, sir, Doc thought that was funny, but he didn’t say anything then. Ills patient was waiting, and he was needed in the sick room. He worked over her for half an hour until she wus out of danger, and then be went out to assure her husband that everything was all right Doc Hears He Crossed Bridge That Was Out. He sat down for a few moments’ rest before starting on the return trip, and again his patient’s husband brought up the subject of the quick ness with which he had arrived, “How the dickens did you come here, anyway, Doctor?” he asked. “Did you fly?” “Why, I came by the Bay Side road, of course,” aaid Doc. The man looked at Doc sort of curiously. "You couldn’t have,” he said bluntly. “The bridge la out.” Doc thought he was Joking, and tried to laugh It off. Hut the man Insisted the bridge was being repaired—that the planking was all off and The Car Crossed Like an Acrobat on a Tight Rope. It was Impassable. He told Doc that the only available route to bis house was the upper road, a “S mile trip. He began to urge Doc to stay all night, anti at last Doc saw he was serious. Then It occurred to Doc that the uinn must have gone lusune, or become unnerved by his wife’s Illness. Daylight Reveals That Bridge Wasn’t There. Says Doc: “1 decided to stay with him, partly to humor an over wrought man, and partly because I didn’t think It safe to leave his sick (wife alone with one In such condition. 1 spent the night at his house, and Jn the morning he brought the subject up again at breakfast. He said: 'Now Doc, let’s both go down aud look at that bridge before you go back to town.'" There wae something In that fellow's manner that reminded Doc of a aane man humoring a tick one. It occurred to him then that this bird thought he was the crazy one. But he agreed to go down and look over the bridge, which wae only a mile away from the house. They got into Doc’e car and drove the short distance down the road. They got In sight of the bridge, and then— “Imagine my surprise—even horror," suys Doc, “when I saw that bridge In broad daylight. All that he had told me was true! There was nothing left of the bridge but the gaunt string pieces—two of them— running from one side of the river to the other. Strath-Gordon Had Piloted Car Over Fingers of Death. “The planking—the rails—the superstructure, all had been taken away. And yet, I had come across that bridge In the darkness of the night I knew that. I wasn’t crazy. And yet. for a moment, 1 began to think that 1 was losing my mind. “The string pieces were the answer. They were lest than a foot wide, each, but they were separated by the same width as the wheels of my automobile. I had driven across them in the dark, like an acrobat on a tight wire. My heart came into my throat when 1 thought of what might have happened. “All the local people knew that the bridge was Impassable, so no warning sign had been posted. I, not knowing this, and having crossed It So many times before, drove over It automatically. The only way I can explain the miracle la that, having a surgeon's hand. I drove with the same ateadlness with which 1 performed operations. Had 1 deviated an Inch from the straight path over that bridge, I would have fallen Into deep water—and I might not have attended my patient.’’ ©—WNU Servlc*. Tortoise Carries Water in Travel Over Dry Land The word tortoise Is applied to the land turtle. Sometimes called the ground hog of California for his habit of hibernating during the rainy season, there is still another nickname that might be given. “The little camel of the desert." Locat ed under the hard shell is a mem brane sack in which they store a supply of water to carry on their travels far from streams and ponds. From plant life growing on the wastelands they obtain more than enough moisture for their daily use and are able to store up a supply so large, that If a person (suffering from thirst could locate the animal, they would he able to obtain enough water to curry them over a period of two or three days Possessing no teeth, states a writer in the Loa Angeles Times, their Jaws are hard and sharp on the edge, forming a beak. This Is the means they use to grind their food small enough to swallow The large shell protects them from any attacking enemy. They are in reai Ity their own foe. The males when fighting strive to overturn the op ponent. When this occurs, thex have no means to right themselves and are left to die by the victor Land turtles are sun creatures and when night cornea or the day Is dark and gloomy they seldom pu' in appearance. ?0uydj2Aui Tomb of Cecil Rhodes. Proparcd hv the National Geographic Society. Waahlngton. D. C.-WNU Service. A PIONEER country’s memorials are usually natural features. Rhodesia has Its Indaba tree and Its Matopo hills. Hut the most curious spectacle extant associ ated with Rhodes is that deserted, craterllke pit at the Kimberley dia mond mines, where he began digging the fortune which made possible his future colonizing schemes. Picture Kimberley In the 1870s. Atop a bucket, alongside the checkerboard pattern of claims, sits a big. rumple haired, slackly garbed English youth, staring Into vacancy. In him Natal has lost a cotton grower, and the world will one day gain—to put It thus, since his name is Rhodes—a Colossus. The English doctors gave this young Cecil John Rhodes a year or so to llvt* bnt the South African climate has saved him. From death to diamonds, and from them to vast wealth, South African statesmanship, and empire building—such will be the swiftly as cended rungs during a life that will end at forty-nine years. Meanwhile he dreams—lie Is an in corrigible dreamer. Presently he will be making wills, based on some future, chimerical wealth, to the end of ex tending the British empire so vastly ns to "render wnrs Impossible and pro mote the best interests of humanity." The two ithodeslas, of which the Northern colony Is almost double the size of the Southern, contain about two anti a half million Bantus and but (II. 000 persons of European descent. And over what an expanse ure these few scattered! One might roughly com pare the area of the Ithodeslas with that of the thirteen states, or parts of states, lying south of Pennsylvania, east of the Ohio and Mississippi rivers, eastward along the Gulf of Mexico, and north of a hypothetical line running through ttmtral Florida. Picture the above region as being occupied by a population only nine times that of Atlanta. Ga.—a popula tion wherein the Bantu and white races are proportioned at 40 to 1. Con sider, along with that, a civilization only four decades old, and you have the basic elements of Rhodesia, the pioneer colony. Land of Real Pioneers. In Rhodesia, individual effort has de veloped Into co-operation, crop special izing into mixed farming, und a de partment of agriculture, having to do with the cultural and financing sides of Rhodesian husbandry, has come into being for the benefit of the pioneers. “Pioneer,” he it noted. Is strictly masculine. We have heard of the farmerette and the avlntrix, hut never of the “ploneeress.” Comparing the proportion of women to men In given countries, one finds tlint the older civ ilizations generally have an excess of the former over the latter, whereas the reverse Is true of lands later settled, such as Canadn, New Zealand, the United States, and Australia. Now, in this matter of male surplusage, the yet-younger Rhodesia out-tops almost all countries and exceeds the above named quartette by a “masculinity” of from four to seven times greater. That conveys, of course, no social picture of Bhodesla, where woman Is playing her full part, ns always. Rath er, It tells the old story—that the foot free man strikes out for new lands and. In time, sends overseas for that “girl at home" to make the land worth living In. And just here the governmental set tlers-asslstnnce schemes enter the pic ture. Somewhat similar in effect to the Homstead act that, in 1802, called American pioneers to plant their homes on free western lands, the Rhodesian assistance schemes went much further, in ottering nominally free passages from England to the colony and, up on the settler’s arrival, free agricul tural instruction for a year. Like the homesteader, he pledged himself to remain for three years. Un like the homesteader, he was subject to a minimum and n maximum of avail able capital, and bought his land, at a dollar or so per ncre, on a 24-year In stallment plan. Settlers Have Good Homes. To reach a Rhodesian settler's farm stead, you might possibly drive 20 wooded miles olf the turnpike, and, if It is after nightfall, hear some stray lion gulping gutturally in the distance. Yet, once arrived, you find yourself In a true home that the man and his wife have made together, lie and his na tive hoys have built the house, plan ning it around a big central room with a wide hearth. She has made it bright with gav curtains, with the rugs brought from overseas, with the horne '-•iid’s flowers. And the smart furniture? Well Rhodesia has its teak, and it Is as* tonlshlng what carpentry nutlve "boys’ can achieve with the assistance of de signs cut from household magazines, and the vicarious elbow grease of your constant presence. Across the broad acres tbe reaped corn stands In regimented stacks. There’s a farm store where the settler sells to his native "boys.” For amuse ments, there are horseback riding, hunting, and fishing, books from pub lic libraries, and maybe a radio set. As for educating the regional set tlers’ children, a minimum of ten pu pils calls for the establishment of a governmental school. Falling that num ber, in sparsely peopled sections, there will he an ‘‘aided farm school,” with a government grant for each child. Heading eastward from Salisbury, you soon find yourself nearing those mountains beyond which extends Por tuguese territory. Completely cupped within their foothills’ lofty profiles lies Umtali, eastern outpost of the Rho deslus. Nothing could reveal itself as as a more charming surprise than this neat little town, tucked away on the colony’s remote verge, its streets lined with tall tluinboyant trees that rear their masses of scnrlet blossoms against the mountain-ringed valley’s vastness of overhead blue. A 250-mlle swing around a circle centering on Umtali reveals it as Rhodesia's gateway to the wild heart of things, where waterfalls plunge over precipices, and primitive forests clothe the land with silence, and nude peaks pile their shapes against the sky. The Matopo Hills. At times you traverse 50 miles of wild woodland that offer no more guid ing features than a dry stream-bed or some cement causeway, built at low level to allow sea^opal torrents to sweep across Instead of under It. Bril liantly plumaged birds tlash past, groups of rock perched baboons dis cuss family affairs. Issuance into the open, with a mission church ahead, is an experience, while the passage of mime other car is a downright sen sation. Yet, though you would not have guessed It, there are often kraals near the road, and thus you get a glimpse of native corngrinding, snuffmaking, 'hairdressing (as complicated a process as permanent-waving), and listen to a fat old grandmother telling Uncle Remus stories In the orlginnl version. Near Bulawayo you visit the Matopo hills. After a few hours’ drive, the land begins heaping Itself into a wide series of rocky kopjes. Here nature seems to have worked haphazard, flinging so many great bowlders atop of so many pinnacles that one might well call the place the Valley of Bal ancing Stones. Now you clamber up the vast, smooth slant of a massive formation and find yourself on a rocky plateau, feeling antlike beside the huge, glob ular bowlders that are perched there over "World’s View." Away stretches the tumbled kbpje heaped valley, re sembling earth’s beginnings as sculp tured by some supernal llodin, who has tossed the half-tlnished work aside, saying, “Make out of It what you can." The bowlders Immediately encircling you are vivid with lichen, in reds, greens, and gold. A child would call this a fairy place, and dream of en chantments. Then suddenly one se vere slab, imbedded over what was laid to rest In the blasted-out heart of the rock, tells you that here has been high burial: “This Power that wrought on us and goes Back to the Power again . . Ah, power! Far better than any cathedral aisle does this “View of the World,” Rhodes’ self-chosen burial place, suit with the rugged power of the man. The gnarled pinnacles are his cathedral's spires, the richly hued bowlders his stained-glass windows. Once, when Rhodes was a boy, he asked a gray-haired man why he should thus be busied planting oaks, since he would never live to see them full grown. Unforgettably for Rhodes, the veteran replied that he had the vision to see others sitting under the trees' shade when he himself had gone. And well may Rhodesia be likened to an English oak, springing by like vision from the dust now resting under the slab in the Matopo hills. Just an Idea It was John Ruskin who said it long ago, but it Is still true that the man who looks for the crooked things will see the crooked things, and the man who looks for the straight will see the straight SEEN and HEARD around the NATIONAL CAPITAL Washington.—On the outgo side of the national ledger the relief item Is the most Important single factor In determining how far the budget falls short of balancing. Any congressional debate on relief, there fore invariably brings in the budget question. Recently the senate de bated relief—and heard about the budget. The most searching examination of the budget problem came from a Democrat—Senator Byrd of Vir ginia. frequent critic of New Deal policies. He brought up the ques tion. Why is the budget suffering from progressively increasing relief expenditures when business condi tions are improving? On the basis of figures supplied by the acting director of the budget, Mr. Byrd calculated that in the fis cal year starting July 1 the gov ernment would spend for ordinary purposes and relief $G00,000,000 more than in the current year. “This means," he said, "that we will spend nearly $1,000,000,000 more than In 1936 and $3,000,000,000 more than in 1933; yet conditions today are greatly Improved and the need for relief and governmental expenditures is much less than in those previous years." In 1937, he continued, the govern ment will collect $1,600,000,000 more in taxes than In 1936, "and still the deficit continues in an alarming amount." Similar protests against Increas ing taxes were voiced at last week’s general meeting of the Iron and Steel institute in New York. Re marking that relief expenditures were mounting at the same time that employment and payrolls were going up, Eugene G. Grace, presi dent of the institute, said that “the only sure way to cure unemploy ment and solve the problem of re lief Is to increase production.” As a sidelight to all this discus sion of government spending, the treasury announced plans for our largest peace-time financing opera tion—$2,050,000,000—which was of fered on June 15. It will increase the public debt to about $32,600,000, 000, the highest yet. All States Share Benefits under the Social Security act are now shared, under one or more of Its provisions, by all the 48 states as well as Hawaii and Alnska, according to a survey made at the office of the Social Security board. The survey revealed that, since February and up to the period end ing June 30, the Social Security board has approved grants in aid or administration expenses totaling about $30,000,000. Most of this has been paid to those states that have qualified under unemployment com pensation and public assistance laws approved by the bonrd. The board also has mnde payment for expenses of administering un employment compensation laws, as well as grants for other social serv ices carried on under the children’s bureau of the Department of Labor, the Public Health service and the office of education. Scope of Aid Widened Although not every state has shared in all the benefits of the So cial Security act, the number of states submitting plans for approval to the Social Security board is in creasing. Eleven states and the Dis trict of Columbia already have had unemployment compensation plans approved by the board. About 7,000. 000 workers, or 40 per cent of all those eligible in the entire country, now are covered by approved plans. In addition, plans for old age as sistance (free pensions) have been approved by the bonrd for 32 states, which now have 628,674 needy aged on their rolls. Twenty-one state laws covering assistance to more than 20.000 blind persons have been approved by the board. Nineteen state plnns for aid to 184,803 dependent children also have been approved. me Doaru nas maue no omcial es timates of federal benefit payments, but an unofficial tally revealed these approximate figures for the Febru ary-June. 193G, period. Pubtio assistance .J22.437.19S.S4 Unemployment compensation 847,100.29 Vocational rehabilitation 841,000.00 Public Health Service .... 8.333,333.00 Children's bureau . 1.969.916.22 Flans are being made for an enu meration of 26,000,000 wage-earners, who will be covered on January 1, 1987, by the old-age benefit (com pulsory contributory pensions) pro vision of the security act. Federal Role Indirect The Social Security act delimits the functions of the federal and state governments. The states have the primary task of administration of laws enacted by them, passing of amendments, appointment of start ' and organization of unemployment I compensation commissions. The role of the federal govern ment is Indirect, being primarily concerned with protecting the state funds and seeing to it that the state organizations are properly admin istered. Under the provisions of the act the federal government can insure collection of comparable statistical material that would otherwise be difficult with interstate and federal state co-operation. Since the fed eral government is responsible for all expense of state administrations, it is directly interested in the effi cient expenditures of this money. Under the public health section of the security act there has resulted a closer co-ordination of health ac tivities of federal, state and lo cal governments, according to Dr. Thomas l'arran, surgeon-general of the public health service. Before the act only 540 local health units were in operation out of a total of 3,000 counties in the United States, in three months 175 new local health units were added to this number, an increase of more than 30 per cent. Eleven states have set up new units for the study of industrial hy giene, bringing the total to sixteen. Grants from the funds under the act have enabled California, Washing ton, Montana and Idaho to set up special facilities for the control of bubonic plague. In the realm of special projects Alabama has been assisted in ex tending its efforts toward the erad ication of hookworm and Missouri and Tennessee have been assisted in their tight against trachoma. Link A. T. T. and “Wealth” A former Harvard instructor traced for the communication com mission’s Investigation of the Amer ican Telephone & Telegraph com pany evidence he said showed a link between the utility and its subsid iaries and “a large part of the total corporate wealth of the United States.” He was Dr. N. R. Danielian, who under questioning of Samuel Becker, special counsel for the Investiga tion, said that primary considera tion of the company in selecting di rectors was “not familiarity with the problems of the telephone in dustry, but men who boast wide in terests” in other Industries. Danielian contended directors were selected as a “channel of spreading good will.” Summarizing a study of member ship in chambers of commerce, boards of trade, Rotary, Kiwanis, I.Ions and similar clubs, the witness said 35 telephone corporations had spent $4,838,038 for "dues and con tributions” in the last ten years. “It appears," he testified, "that the telephone subscriber has paid the major part of these dues and contributions." Jobs for 1,660 Youths Success In placing 1,660 unem ployed young people In private Jobs by the National Youth administra tion’s 24 junior placement services was reported to Aubrey W. Wil liams, executive director of the N. Y. A., by Dr. Mary H. S. Haynes, director of guidance and placement. Representing the efforts of N. Y. A. employment counselors in ten states during March and April the 1,660 jobs were obtained through 2,485 visits to private employers. The number of positions obtained in April was 940, an increase of 30 per cent over the March total of 720. The 24 placement services includ ed In this report are situated in T.os Angeles, San Francisco, Calif.; Bridgeport, New Haven and Hart ford, Conn.; Davenport, Cedar Rap ids, Council Bluffs, Des Moines, Wa terloo and Sioux City, Iowa ; Boston, Worcester and Springfield, Mass.; Concord, Nashua and Manchester, N. II.; Brooklyn and Bronx, N. Y.; Fort Worth, Texas; Durham, N. C. (two offices); Chicago and Indian apolis. A twenty-fifth placement service was established in Richmond during May. Applications for jobs during the two months totaled 6,989. This means that 24 per cent of that to tal were placed in private Jobs. Of the total 6,9.89 people apply ing, more than 6,100, or 88 per cent, were from families not on relief, the report showed. Thirty-five per cent of all the young people who applied have never worked, the report stat ed. N. Y. A. services are, by ex ecutive order of the President, lim ited to young people between six teen and twenty-five years of age. The New Speaker The new speaker of the house, Representative William Brockman Bankhead of Alabama, is not happy over the manner of his elevation. It wns at the expense of the life of Speaker Joseph Wellington Byrns of Tennessee. Less than two years ago both Bankhead and Byrns were bat tling for the speakership, following the death of Speaker Henry T. Rainey of Illinois. Byrns won. Speaker Bankhead is a veteran member of congress, having first been elected In 1916. He is a broth er of Senator John Bankhead. Speaker Bankhead was born in Mos cow, Ala., in 1874, son of Senator John and Tallulah Bankhead. Speaker Bankhead has been a strict Dixie Democrat. WNU Service. The Phrase “Touch Wood” The phrase “Touch wood” is the symbol of a strong superstition. Va rious explanations, logical and oth erwise have been suggested, but the most likely one is that the phrase is a corruption of “touch rood,” the church rood being in a place of sanctuary where a poor, hunted fel low was safe from his enemies. And seemingly, it was during Cromwell’s time that it became “touch wood” instead of “touch rood,” the change itself doubtless being for safety in view of the religious feelings of Oliver and his followers. May Be So How the prehistoric animals might laugh if they snw some of the models In the museums intended to be rep. lieas of them. Ws Sprinkle Peterman's Ant *“ood along window •ills, doors, any place where anta come and go. Peterman's kills them — red ants, black anta. others. Quick. Safe. Guaranteed effective 24 hours a day. Get Peterman’s Ant Food now. 25c, 35c and 60c packages at your i.'uggiat'a. Blemishes Made Her Old Looking Face Clear Again with Cuticura Soap and Ointment Here is a letter every skin sufferer should read. Its message is vital. “There were blemishes oa my face, of external origin, and they made me look old and haggard. They were red, hard and large. They would hurt, and when I scratched them the skin would become Irritated, and I would lie awake at night and start digging at my face. “But after using two cakes of Cuticura Soap and one tin of Cuti cura Ointment my face was cleared again.” (Signed) Mrs. L. Whetzler, 2nd St., Floreffe, Pa., June 15, 1935. Physicians can understand such letters. The Cuticura formulas have proved their effectiveness for over half a century. Remember, Cuticura Soap and Ointment are also for pim ples, rashes, ringworm, burning of eczema and other externally caused skiu blemishes. All druggists. Soap ) 25c. Ointment 25c.—Adv. DO you suffer burning, scanty of too frequent urination; backache, headache, dizziness, loss of energy, leg pains, swellings and puffiness under the eyes? Are you tired, nerv- * ous—feel all unstrung and don't know what is wrong? Then give some thought to your kidneys. Be sure they function proper ly for functional kidney disorder per mits excess waste to stay in the blood, and to poison and upset the whole system. Use Doan's Pills. Doan's are for the kidneys only. They are recommended the world over. You can get the gen uine, time-tested Doan's at any drug store. KILL ALL FLIES ^ Bff.KS&’SSig I Guaranteed* effective, ijoat. ■ convenient — Cannot ■ I dealers. Harold Somers. Inc.. I 150DoKalbAve.3 fclyn*N.Y. | tVNU—U 26—at DOLLARS & HEALTH The successful person is a healthy per son. Don’t let yourself be handicapped by sick headaches, a sluggish condition,, stomach “nerves” and other dangerous* signs of over-acidity. MILNESIA FOR HEALTH Milnesia, the original milk of magnesia in wafer form, neutralizes stomach acids, gives quick, pleasant elimination. Each wafer equals 4 teaspoonfuls milk of mag. nesia.Tast)*, too. 20c, 35c&60c everywhere.