A DOZEN different things may
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Keep it at the office. Have it handy
in the home.*Those subject to fre
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tin. Until you have used it for head
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3t means quick, complete relief to
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! SPIRIN
atptrln !• ths trade mark of Bejer Menufeetoe*
uf MonoeoeUceoldeeter of Belicrllaacid
Why Lawyer* Suddenly
Lost Interest in Case
Peter Guthrie Jones, the Baltimore
historian, was talking about the scan
dal over American divorces that has
broken out la Paris.
“It seems," he said, "that French
lawyers and court officials were tak
ing bribes to push these divorces
through. Who laid bare the scandals?
American lawyers. Because they
were horrified at the sinfulness of
this bribe-taking? No. It was be
cause these cheap Paris divorces save
divorcing Americans a lot of money
at our American lawyers’ expense.
“For American lawyers are expen
sive. That Is their main character
istic. A chap stood up in an Ameri
can court one day to answer a very
serious embezzlement charge.
' “ ‘How is It,’ the Judge said to
him, ‘that you have no lawyer to da
fend you?’
“The chap answered:
“ ‘Your honor, as soon as they
found out I hadn’t stolen the money
none of them would touch the case.’"
—Detroit Free Press.
Best Sellers
Dr. William Lyon Phelps of Yale
looked up from his literary review
with a laugh of disgust.
“It says here." he said, “that an
eight-year-old girl has written a best
seller.”
Doctor Phelps laughed more disgust
edly still.
“Most best sellers." he said, “read
ns if they were written by two-year
olds.”
Odd Strike Threat
Employees of the Kaunas (Lithu
ania) post office are pledged to re
main unshaved until Prime Minister
Waldemaraa grants them a raise. Be'
cause of a state of martial law in
Lithuania since the Poles seized Vllma
in 19—0, strikes are not permitted, and
the beard-growing contest of the post
men is Interesting the town.
Bad humor follows had weather.
Makes Life
Sweeter
Too much to eat—too rich a diet—
or too much smoking. Ix>ts of things
cause sour stomach, but one thing can
correct it quickly. Phillips Milk of
Magnesia will alkalinize the acid.
Take a spoonful of this pleasant
preparation, and the systfem is soon
sweetened.
Phillips Is always ready to relieve
distress from overrating; to check all
acidity; or neutralize nicotine. Re
member this for your own comfort;
for the sake of those around you.
Endorsed by physicians, but they al
wsys say Phillips. Don’t buy some
thing else and expect the same re
sults !
Phillips
r. Milk .
of Magnesia
Oat Our Way_By William*
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"TV4E CO\-\- A ©ORATOR. ewww*™*1* „
^ nBL U. i. PwT OfP, _ _ r. _- -| —
BE CERTAIN OF YOCR FACTS.
One sultry night in a strange town,
A lad just out of school,
I moped about a hotel porch
To find a spot more cool.
And other traveling men were there,
And men from ’round the town;
And some of them, for all I know,
May since have earned renown.
The railroad tracks ran through the
burg
From southeast to northwest;
I And this had me all turned around—
A fact I never guessed.
The talk turned on the twinkling
stars
That studded all the sky;
A native told us tales of them,
But had his facts awry.
And new it was my time to shine
By Iwasting what I knew;
I sharply set that man to rights,
As but a youth could do.
He sat and listened, mouth agape,
But not for very long;
For I thought west was north, you
nrtft
f
Nor dreamt that I was wrong.
And when I picked the polar star,
And found it in the west,
I never since have stood such gibes
As that old man expressed.
He laughed at me, and kept it up
As mad hyenas do;
And then he got real mad at me,
And cursed me black and blue.
And when I learned what were the
facts,
I hung my foolish head,
Forgot the heat, my manners, too,
And scurried off to bed.
I drank that night a bitter cup,
And mighty hard to take;
It taught me though to be more slow
To point out a mistake.
For most of all our silly words.
And half our foolish acts,
Are said or done because we are
All muddled in our facts.
—Sam Page.
American Gift Aids
Verdun’s Cathedral
, ERDUN, PRANCE,- —An
anonymous American has given
100,000 francs—about $4,000—to help
repair war damages to the Cathedral
of Verdun. The letter which accom
panied the gift asked the Bishop
of Verdun not to reveal the Amer
ican’s name.
“Although I am a protestant,” the
honor said, "I realize that the Cath
olic church is the real mother of
Christianity. Without her we would
become barbarians in a pagan
world.”
The terrific bombardments of 1916
reduced the ancient cathedral, which
is one of those thick stone struc
tures built to last for ages, to a mere
shell. Much progress had already
been made in restoring the old
building, and the American’s dona
tion will go further in overcoming
damage by German shells.
— ■ ♦ ♦---—
Air Fuel Standard
Sought in Europe
ROME— —An American is
flying over Europe, seeking to induce
standardization of fuel and oil for
airplanes.
He hopes to make it possible
eventually to Jaunt all over Europe
without the present difficulty of
seeking fuel and oil, and without ;
having to adjust engines to differ
ent and inadequate fuel and run
the risk of a breakdown.
The American Is Edwin Aldrin,
an official of the Standard Oil com
pany of New Jersey. He arrived
in Rome with his wife and a me
Theft Discovered But
It Took Thousand Years
LONDON—(UP)—Thousands of
years ago a poor Egyptian stole a
beautiful necklace and Just this
year his crime was discovered along
with the necklace.
Members of Robert Mond's arch
aeological party in Egypt, telling •
their digging adventures to the
London Egyptian Exploration so
ciety, said that in uncovering a
laborer’s home at Arm^nt they
chanic after a flight over the Alps
from Berlin.
The basis of the standardization
sought, Aldrin said, is to obtain a
fuel which, when tested in a small
portable engine, will not knock.
"When gas falls below this stand
ard,” he said, "It is not fit for use
in an airplane engine.
"The people of Europe already
are acquainted with this fact, but
they don’t know how to work it
out. England and Germany are the
only countries which have realized
It as North and South America
have. They have made the change."
In each country he visits, Aldrin
makes contacts with the air attache
of the American embassy and,
through him, with the government
air officials.
Aldrin's plane, in which he has
flown from Fiance to Eastern
Europe, through the Balkans and
Italy, is a sister ship of the one
Art Goebel flew across the United
States.
■ -—
Woman Repels Snoopers.
Prom Cedar Rapids Gazette.
A family by the name of Morrish.
living near Grosse Point. Mich.,
went boating with their little
daughter and were returning with
a pail of sand in the boat when
they were sighted by customs men.
The h3wk eyes of the latter spotted
the innocent sand pail and the
Mcrrishes were reported to be re
turning with a cargo of liquor.
' When federal agents, acting on the
information, presented themselves
, at the door of the Morrish home,
Mrs. Morrish—the name deserves
to be emblazoned in letters of gold
—demanded to see their search
warrant. When they admitted they
had no warrant Mrs. Morrish ut
tered these immortal words:
“Until you get one I’ll shoot the
first one of you who tries to come
In. I won’t permit knocking over
things in my home.”
The agents didn’t get the search
warrant and didn’t come in. The
pail which had excited the suspic
ion of customs agents was found
in the boat house. It was a sig
nal victory for feminine devotion
to the home No mention is made
of Mr. Morrish in the dispatch. In
all likelihood he was under the
sofa The men of the nation are
usually found in some equally in
conspicuous place when the inviol
ability and sanctity of the home
are being defended.
Mrs. Morrish, on the other hand,
belongs to a sex peculiarly inter
ested in the theory that one’s home
is one's castle. The sanctity of the
home and home life is vital to the
women of the country. If all other
women give Mrs. Monish her due
they will rank her with the great
heroines of the past—with Judith.
Joan of Arc. Charlotte Corday and
Molly Pitcher. Indeed, as the words
of Joan of Arc to her troops are
cherish'd by the people of Prance,
so should the words of Mrs. Morrish
be cherished by the people of
America: “I won’t permit knock
ing things over in my home.”
Commerce Promotion.
From Time.
The president made up his mind
on an appointment pending since
inauguration when William Patter
son MacCracken, assistant secretary
of commerce for aeronautics, asked
to be relieved. Mr. MacCracken, 40
years old, lawyer, has been in the
department for three years and
handled his aeronautics duties so
well that commercial aviation has
been inviting him into lucrative
business. However, he has continued
in office, including an arduous two
months inspection of European air
ways. until the chief had time to
consider a successor.
The president summoned to the
executive offices Col. Clarence Mar
shall Young, 40 years old, lawyer,
director of the department of com
merce's bureau of civil aeronautics,
and the third Yale man in the sub
cabinet with charge of aviation.
found a beautiful and expensive
necklace.
From the remains left in the
house the scientists Judged that
the owner was the servant or the
workman of one of the richer resi
dents of the forgottend city of Ar
mant. The necklace was found
carefully concealed, therefore the
scientists believe it was stolen from
some rich man’s home and the thief
was afraid either to sell or wear it.
Other finds of the party included
the remains of several sacred bulls,
an essential feature in Egyptian
worship. The bulls were found
buried in elaborate sarcophagae,
Did Mr. Young want the job ol
assistant secretary? Of course h«
did. So on October 1 he takes hU
Eromotion, to Mr. MacCracken’s re
ef.
Tire Young appointment had no
over politics in It. However. Des
Moines, la., may jubilate over mid
west preference. Clarence Young
was born nearby, attended Drake
university there, and after being
graduated from Yale's law school in
1910, practiced law there until the
World war. After the war he was
executive secretary of the Des
Moines municipal research bureau
which has made that community
one of the few In the United States
with little political graft.
Tire promotion was one of merit.
In the department of commerce,
Mr. Young created the present sys
tem of enforcing air commerce
rules, inspection, license of civil
! aircraft, licensing of pilots and ne
chanics. Just before his promotion
he announced new, strict rules for
transport pilots. After September 1
they must get their licenses re
newed every six months. They will
get renewals only by re-proving their
ability at trick takeoffs and land
ings. They must liayc flown at least
10 hours solo in the types of planes
for which they are licensed. And
they must be able to fly at least
12 different types of planes. These
new stringenc:es are part of Mr.
Young’s effort to make passenger
flying visibly secure.
-*«- ,
The Shaving Ceremony.
Prom Baltimore Sun
Shaving is probably the most,
practical way to avoid being mis
taken for a professor of romance
language, and so it has become an
almost universal custom among un
tutored men in this country. What
the electric bulb meant to lighting
the safety razor has meant to shav
ing, and it is about time for the
government to recognize it by get
ting out a 2-cent stamp of some
patriot with lather on his face and
a safety razor in his hand.
Then men's habit of shaving is
very popular with women, as it
gives them a good excuse to lie in
bed 15 m.nutes longer in the morn
ing so as to allow their husbands
a monopoly of the bathroom. An
umrammeled bathroom is essen
tial to a good shave; it permits the
shaver to say “damn” at will with
out apologizing afterward.
The word "safety” in connection
with razors is invaluable, for when
a shaver succeeds in drawing blood,
instead of being distressed he ex
periences a sense of achievement.
It is always pleasant to be able to
give the advertiser the lie. The
greenest amateur may and often
does make a fine clean cut that a
practiced surgeon might envy.
However, in tabulating the score,
cuts registered in removing a blade
from its package or catching it in
midair when it slips from the hand
are ruled out. In these cases the
blade ir, regarded as Ijelng out of
Play.
Petulant shavers display undue
annoyance when, having lathered
their faces, they discover that the
blade is a dud. Accidents will hap
pen in the best blade factories and
the shaver should realize that he
has no cause for complaint when
he can wrap up a blade, return it
to the factory with the number of
the inspector, if he has not lost it,
and have the matter promptly ad
justed. What is the cost of postage
in view of the moral victory?
After shaving, razor blades should
be wiped dry. Long experience has
proved that for this purpose a turtc
ish bath towel is preferable to a
smooth face towel. The cut on the
rough towel will not be immediately
apparent. It may not be discovered
for weeks, thus weakening the cir
cumstantial evidence and diverting
proof of guilt away fr&m the true
culprit and toward a rough edge on
the washwomans wringer.
Q. Where is the oldest running
race track in the United States? R.
K.
A. It is said to be the race courss
at Lexington, Ky.
but in some Instances it was found
that the early vandals had taken
off the heads of the bulls in order
to secure the gold foil with which
they were decorated.
Q. How much did St. Peter’s
church in Rome cost?—J. H.
A. It is impossible even to esti
mate the cost of St. Peter’s church
at Rome. This church, which Is
probably the largest church edifice
in the world, has been centuries lu
the building, and the question of
mcney cost, has not entered into
the matter at all. Millions have
been spent both for the structure
and for the decorations.
HERE IT IS...from i.ie
LEADER OF RADIO
Netv Screen-Grid, Electro-Dynamic
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of course it's an Atwater Kent l
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It, too, is Screen-Grid.
Pritm tli/jUly kiiktnwudof
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IN (!ABINRTM
The best American cabinet maker*
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C "l
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Atwater Kent working without time
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It’s the modern battery set that
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ATWATKR KENT MANUPACTURINOCO
A. Atwater Kent, F-rm.
CM Wimhlckon A»e, PhilsdiC.phla, Pa
round Business Could
Get Along Without Him
A young man recently took Ills vara
tlon. Personally lie didn’t see how the
concern was going to operate without
him, but when the president assured
him that everything would be per
fectly all right he left. He failed tc
<*nJoy himself much, however, for he
was continually thinking of the mud
die he wmld have to straighten out
when he returned to work. The first
day back lie rushed Into the presl
dent’s office.
“Well, Mr. Itlauk, I'm back now. I
suppose It's been hard on you over
teeing all my work.”
The president smiled. “I took my
vacation at the same time you did,”
he remarked.
“What?” gasped the young man.
“Who took cure m the business?”
The president's smile turned Into a
^decidedly self-satisfied smirk. “Your
secretary did to a great extent.” he
replied, "and so far as I can see It
never was run better.”—Springfield
Union.
Fusty Walled Up
An emaciated cat which had been
imprisoned heneulli the concrete
steps of a church in the process of
instruction was rescued by the Phil
adelphia S. P. <\ A. Workmen had
left the steps nl the end of a day.
•omplete save for a low opening in
front. It is thought the cat crawled
In during the night and was Impris
oned unintentionally by the workmen
the next dnv when they finished the
steps.
Steam Stored in Off Hour*
Germany is storing the steam power
generated during leisure hours at the
state electrical works at Cliurlotten
burg, and using It as needed. Sixteen
nuge steel condensers have been con
structed for storing the steam, which
Is available under high pressure ut any
time desired.
mathematically hiact
"The snake to which 1 refer," said
the teacher, “Is said to strike with
mathematical precision."
“I suppose you mean an adder, slr7”
suggested a bright pupil. — Stray
Stories.
Privilege Given Women
All males are barred from the mar
ket place of Almerla, Spain, lest wom
en be molested while on their domestic
errands during the forenoon. A man
seeking to make n purchase must first
get a permit.
For Best Results
in Home Dyeing
You can always
give richer, deep
er, more brilliant
colors to faded or
out-of-sty)e dress
es, hose, coats,
draperies, etc., with
Diamond Dyes.
And the colors stay in through
wear and washing!
Here’s the reason. Diamond
Dyes contain the highest quality
anilines money can buy. And it’s
the anilines that count! They are
the very life of dyes.
Plenty of pure anilines make
Diamond Dyes easy to use. They
go on evenly without spotting or
streaking. Try them next time
and see why authorities recom
mend them; why millions of women
will use no other dyes.
You get Diamond Dyes for the
same price as ordinary dyes; 15^
at any drug store.
HAIR BALSAM
I>aui<raaPanrfrtj<f *t'*psHnh Kail lac
Reitoro Color ami
Beauty to Cray and Faded Hair
ft) \ and ft <iq a* DruyfftKl#
Hlarii’' Oicih, Wtp. Pa^HiH^n*. If. y.
FLORESTON SHAMPOO— IJ««I tor «** i»
connection with Parker's Hair Hnaaoi Make* use
lia r soft an<l fluffy, f>o cants by mail or at drntt
ciita. Hisoox Chain.cal Works, Patehogne, N. i.
SIOUX CITY PTG. CO.. NO. 33-192*
Protect your luuuh with
Cuiicuru Nosip
Always in view, your hands should be as
attractive as possible. To prevent redness
and roughness caused by daily tasks, use
Cuiicura Soap every time you wash your
bands; always dry thoroughly . . . Assist
with Cuticura Ointment it necessary.
Soap 2Jc. Talcum 2Sc.
OictiBcirJ'c.anJ 50c.
Ssmpt* tads frm.
AJdrcn: “Cuticuxm"
_ _ _. Dept. B7.
I* H Rll V Malden. Mass.
