A DOZEN different things may cause a headache, but there’s just one thing you need ever do to get relief. Bayer Aspirin is an absolute antidote for such pain. Keep it at the office. Have it handy in the home.*Those subject to fre quent or sudden headaches should carry Bayer Aspirin in the pocket tin. Until you have used it for head aches, colds, neuralgia, etc., you’ve no idea how Bayer Aspirin can help. 3t means quick, complete relief to millions of men and women who use it every year. And it does not depress the heart. ! SPIRIN atptrln !• ths trade mark of Bejer Menufeetoe* uf MonoeoeUceoldeeter of Belicrllaacid Why Lawyer* Suddenly Lost Interest in Case Peter Guthrie Jones, the Baltimore historian, was talking about the scan dal over American divorces that has broken out la Paris. “It seems," he said, "that French lawyers and court officials were tak ing bribes to push these divorces through. Who laid bare the scandals? American lawyers. Because they were horrified at the sinfulness of this bribe-taking? No. It was be cause these cheap Paris divorces save divorcing Americans a lot of money at our American lawyers’ expense. “For American lawyers are expen sive. That Is their main character istic. A chap stood up in an Ameri can court one day to answer a very serious embezzlement charge. ' “ ‘How is It,’ the Judge said to him, ‘that you have no lawyer to da fend you?’ “The chap answered: “ ‘Your honor, as soon as they found out I hadn’t stolen the money none of them would touch the case.’" —Detroit Free Press. Best Sellers Dr. William Lyon Phelps of Yale looked up from his literary review with a laugh of disgust. “It says here." he said, “that an eight-year-old girl has written a best seller.” Doctor Phelps laughed more disgust edly still. “Most best sellers." he said, “read ns if they were written by two-year olds.” Odd Strike Threat Employees of the Kaunas (Lithu ania) post office are pledged to re main unshaved until Prime Minister Waldemaraa grants them a raise. Be' cause of a state of martial law in Lithuania since the Poles seized Vllma in 19—0, strikes are not permitted, and the beard-growing contest of the post men is Interesting the town. Bad humor follows had weather. Makes Life Sweeter Too much to eat—too rich a diet— or too much smoking. Ix>ts of things cause sour stomach, but one thing can correct it quickly. Phillips Milk of Magnesia will alkalinize the acid. Take a spoonful of this pleasant preparation, and the systfem is soon sweetened. Phillips Is always ready to relieve distress from overrating; to check all acidity; or neutralize nicotine. Re member this for your own comfort; for the sake of those around you. Endorsed by physicians, but they al wsys say Phillips. Don’t buy some thing else and expect the same re sults ! Phillips r. Milk . of Magnesia Oat Our Way_By William* [j/TvAGn&Vs a TvuviGt \At Oogf> takg. \ >/ *Tb'T GE.TS MV NWwy. V SOME O’ TV\’ JOV \ j WOU GET A GOOD Oof OF \T. <■ ] , SMAP am1 TH* BOE\_o' VOO CAWt E Vi JOV l -TVV WOODS COMES \ A U\TTuG SMAP I AEOViG AVI' HEV.PS \ QESiDE -SOMEBODY] E VI JOV vT. I'm MAP. y i\ GOT A SNAP x OONifr J,. t\ WANT AMV BOOV HGV-PiySJ * ^f V TO EOAF. S . ♦-1 "TV4E CO\-\- A ©ORATOR. ewww*™*1* „ ^ nBL U. i. PwT OfP, _ _ r. _- -| — BE CERTAIN OF YOCR FACTS. One sultry night in a strange town, A lad just out of school, I moped about a hotel porch To find a spot more cool. And other traveling men were there, And men from ’round the town; And some of them, for all I know, May since have earned renown. The railroad tracks ran through the burg From southeast to northwest; I And this had me all turned around— A fact I never guessed. The talk turned on the twinkling stars That studded all the sky; A native told us tales of them, But had his facts awry. And new it was my time to shine By Iwasting what I knew; I sharply set that man to rights, As but a youth could do. He sat and listened, mouth agape, But not for very long; For I thought west was north, you nrtft f Nor dreamt that I was wrong. And when I picked the polar star, And found it in the west, I never since have stood such gibes As that old man expressed. He laughed at me, and kept it up As mad hyenas do; And then he got real mad at me, And cursed me black and blue. And when I learned what were the facts, I hung my foolish head, Forgot the heat, my manners, too, And scurried off to bed. I drank that night a bitter cup, And mighty hard to take; It taught me though to be more slow To point out a mistake. For most of all our silly words. And half our foolish acts, Are said or done because we are All muddled in our facts. —Sam Page. American Gift Aids Verdun’s Cathedral , ERDUN, PRANCE,- —An anonymous American has given 100,000 francs—about $4,000—to help repair war damages to the Cathedral of Verdun. The letter which accom panied the gift asked the Bishop of Verdun not to reveal the Amer ican’s name. “Although I am a protestant,” the honor said, "I realize that the Cath olic church is the real mother of Christianity. Without her we would become barbarians in a pagan world.” The terrific bombardments of 1916 reduced the ancient cathedral, which is one of those thick stone struc tures built to last for ages, to a mere shell. Much progress had already been made in restoring the old building, and the American’s dona tion will go further in overcoming damage by German shells. — ■ ♦ ♦---— Air Fuel Standard Sought in Europe ROME— —An American is flying over Europe, seeking to induce standardization of fuel and oil for airplanes. He hopes to make it possible eventually to Jaunt all over Europe without the present difficulty of seeking fuel and oil, and without ; having to adjust engines to differ ent and inadequate fuel and run the risk of a breakdown. The American Is Edwin Aldrin, an official of the Standard Oil com pany of New Jersey. He arrived in Rome with his wife and a me Theft Discovered But It Took Thousand Years LONDON—(UP)—Thousands of years ago a poor Egyptian stole a beautiful necklace and Just this year his crime was discovered along with the necklace. Members of Robert Mond's arch aeological party in Egypt, telling • their digging adventures to the London Egyptian Exploration so ciety, said that in uncovering a laborer’s home at Arm^nt they chanic after a flight over the Alps from Berlin. The basis of the standardization sought, Aldrin said, is to obtain a fuel which, when tested in a small portable engine, will not knock. "When gas falls below this stand ard,” he said, "It is not fit for use in an airplane engine. "The people of Europe already are acquainted with this fact, but they don’t know how to work it out. England and Germany are the only countries which have realized It as North and South America have. They have made the change." In each country he visits, Aldrin makes contacts with the air attache of the American embassy and, through him, with the government air officials. Aldrin's plane, in which he has flown from Fiance to Eastern Europe, through the Balkans and Italy, is a sister ship of the one Art Goebel flew across the United States. ■ -— Woman Repels Snoopers. Prom Cedar Rapids Gazette. A family by the name of Morrish. living near Grosse Point. Mich., went boating with their little daughter and were returning with a pail of sand in the boat when they were sighted by customs men. The h3wk eyes of the latter spotted the innocent sand pail and the Mcrrishes were reported to be re turning with a cargo of liquor. ' When federal agents, acting on the information, presented themselves , at the door of the Morrish home, Mrs. Morrish—the name deserves to be emblazoned in letters of gold —demanded to see their search warrant. When they admitted they had no warrant Mrs. Morrish ut tered these immortal words: “Until you get one I’ll shoot the first one of you who tries to come In. I won’t permit knocking over things in my home.” The agents didn’t get the search warrant and didn’t come in. The pail which had excited the suspic ion of customs agents was found in the boat house. It was a sig nal victory for feminine devotion to the home No mention is made of Mr. Morrish in the dispatch. In all likelihood he was under the sofa The men of the nation are usually found in some equally in conspicuous place when the inviol ability and sanctity of the home are being defended. Mrs. Morrish, on the other hand, belongs to a sex peculiarly inter ested in the theory that one’s home is one's castle. The sanctity of the home and home life is vital to the women of the country. If all other women give Mrs. Monish her due they will rank her with the great heroines of the past—with Judith. Joan of Arc. Charlotte Corday and Molly Pitcher. Indeed, as the words of Joan of Arc to her troops are cherish'd by the people of Prance, so should the words of Mrs. Morrish be cherished by the people of America: “I won’t permit knock ing things over in my home.” Commerce Promotion. From Time. The president made up his mind on an appointment pending since inauguration when William Patter son MacCracken, assistant secretary of commerce for aeronautics, asked to be relieved. Mr. MacCracken, 40 years old, lawyer, has been in the department for three years and handled his aeronautics duties so well that commercial aviation has been inviting him into lucrative business. However, he has continued in office, including an arduous two months inspection of European air ways. until the chief had time to consider a successor. The president summoned to the executive offices Col. Clarence Mar shall Young, 40 years old, lawyer, director of the department of com merce's bureau of civil aeronautics, and the third Yale man in the sub cabinet with charge of aviation. found a beautiful and expensive necklace. From the remains left in the house the scientists Judged that the owner was the servant or the workman of one of the richer resi dents of the forgottend city of Ar mant. The necklace was found carefully concealed, therefore the scientists believe it was stolen from some rich man’s home and the thief was afraid either to sell or wear it. Other finds of the party included the remains of several sacred bulls, an essential feature in Egyptian worship. The bulls were found buried in elaborate sarcophagae, Did Mr. Young want the job ol assistant secretary? Of course h« did. So on October 1 he takes hU Eromotion, to Mr. MacCracken’s re ef. Tire Young appointment had no over politics in It. However. Des Moines, la., may jubilate over mid west preference. Clarence Young was born nearby, attended Drake university there, and after being graduated from Yale's law school in 1910, practiced law there until the World war. After the war he was executive secretary of the Des Moines municipal research bureau which has made that community one of the few In the United States with little political graft. Tire promotion was one of merit. In the department of commerce, Mr. Young created the present sys tem of enforcing air commerce rules, inspection, license of civil ! aircraft, licensing of pilots and ne chanics. Just before his promotion he announced new, strict rules for transport pilots. After September 1 they must get their licenses re newed every six months. They will get renewals only by re-proving their ability at trick takeoffs and land ings. They must liayc flown at least 10 hours solo in the types of planes for which they are licensed. And they must be able to fly at least 12 different types of planes. These new stringenc:es are part of Mr. Young’s effort to make passenger flying visibly secure. -*«- , The Shaving Ceremony. Prom Baltimore Sun Shaving is probably the most, practical way to avoid being mis taken for a professor of romance language, and so it has become an almost universal custom among un tutored men in this country. What the electric bulb meant to lighting the safety razor has meant to shav ing, and it is about time for the government to recognize it by get ting out a 2-cent stamp of some patriot with lather on his face and a safety razor in his hand. Then men's habit of shaving is very popular with women, as it gives them a good excuse to lie in bed 15 m.nutes longer in the morn ing so as to allow their husbands a monopoly of the bathroom. An umrammeled bathroom is essen tial to a good shave; it permits the shaver to say “damn” at will with out apologizing afterward. The word "safety” in connection with razors is invaluable, for when a shaver succeeds in drawing blood, instead of being distressed he ex periences a sense of achievement. It is always pleasant to be able to give the advertiser the lie. The greenest amateur may and often does make a fine clean cut that a practiced surgeon might envy. However, in tabulating the score, cuts registered in removing a blade from its package or catching it in midair when it slips from the hand are ruled out. In these cases the blade ir, regarded as Ijelng out of Play. Petulant shavers display undue annoyance when, having lathered their faces, they discover that the blade is a dud. Accidents will hap pen in the best blade factories and the shaver should realize that he has no cause for complaint when he can wrap up a blade, return it to the factory with the number of the inspector, if he has not lost it, and have the matter promptly ad justed. What is the cost of postage in view of the moral victory? After shaving, razor blades should be wiped dry. Long experience has proved that for this purpose a turtc ish bath towel is preferable to a smooth face towel. The cut on the rough towel will not be immediately apparent. It may not be discovered for weeks, thus weakening the cir cumstantial evidence and diverting proof of guilt away fr&m the true culprit and toward a rough edge on the washwomans wringer. Q. Where is the oldest running race track in the United States? R. K. A. It is said to be the race courss at Lexington, Ky. but in some Instances it was found that the early vandals had taken off the heads of the bulls in order to secure the gold foil with which they were decorated. Q. How much did St. Peter’s church in Rome cost?—J. H. A. It is impossible even to esti mate the cost of St. Peter’s church at Rome. This church, which Is probably the largest church edifice in the world, has been centuries lu the building, and the question of mcney cost, has not entered into the matter at all. Millions have been spent both for the structure and for the decorations. HERE IT IS...from i.ie LEADER OF RADIO Netv Screen-Grid, Electro-Dynamic BATTERY SET of course it's an Atwater Kent l BOU families who haven’t electricity —who use bat teries to run your radio —how you will relish the news that Atwater Kent lias ready for you a com pletely new battery set with all the very latest proved improvements. It, too, is Screen-Grid. Pritm tli/jUly kiiktnwudof Ik* Rock it*, and in Canada IN fOStPACT TARI.E SIODFI.A —For h|. Uria, Model «7 Screen-Grid receiver. U*es T tube' (S Screen-Grid). W itbout tubea. |77. lor kouM-eurrcnt operation, Model U Screen-Grid re ceirer. Ueea a A. C. tubea (• Screen-Grid) nod I recti ryinc tube. Without tube*, tw. Blectro-Dynamic table-model apeaker, tM. It, too, is Electro-Dynamic. It, too, has the power to leap across the map and bring in those far-off stations. It, too, has the depth and richness of tone, heretofore thought possible only in house-current sets. It comes from the same 32-acre factory built by the good - will of 2,550,000 owners of Atwater Kent Radio. It's made with the same painstaking care that keeps an ON THE AIR—Atwater Kent Radio Hour. Sunday Evenings, 9:10 (Eastern Day light Time). WEAR network of N. B. a Atwater Kent Mid-Week Program, Thurs day Evening*. 10:00 (Eastern Daylight Time). WJZnetwork of N. R.C. IN (!ABINRTM The best American cabinet maker* —famous for aound design and sincere workmanship —are coop era ling to meet the demand for Atwater Kent Screen-Grid Radio in line cabinet* like these. C "l I Atwater Kent working without time out for trouble. For months it’s been tested—and tested—and tested again, on farm after farm, in state after state. « It’s the modern battery set that you have been asking Atwater Kent to make. You can have it in the compact table model or your choice of fine cabinets designed and made by the leading furniture manufae* turers of the country. And, best of all, you pay only a moderate price. ATWATKR KENT MANUPACTURINOCO A. Atwater Kent, F-rm. CM Wimhlckon A»e, PhilsdiC.phla, Pa round Business Could Get Along Without Him A young man recently took Ills vara tlon. Personally lie didn’t see how the concern was going to operate without him, but when the president assured him that everything would be per fectly all right he left. He failed tc <*nJoy himself much, however, for he was continually thinking of the mud die he wmld have to straighten out when he returned to work. The first day back lie rushed Into the presl dent’s office. “Well, Mr. Itlauk, I'm back now. I suppose It's been hard on you over teeing all my work.” The president smiled. “I took my vacation at the same time you did,” he remarked. “What?” gasped the young man. “Who took cure m the business?” The president's smile turned Into a ^decidedly self-satisfied smirk. “Your secretary did to a great extent.” he replied, "and so far as I can see It never was run better.”—Springfield Union. Fusty Walled Up An emaciated cat which had been imprisoned heneulli the concrete steps of a church in the process of instruction was rescued by the Phil adelphia S. P. <\ A. Workmen had left the steps nl the end of a day. •omplete save for a low opening in front. It is thought the cat crawled In during the night and was Impris oned unintentionally by the workmen the next dnv when they finished the steps. Steam Stored in Off Hour* Germany is storing the steam power generated during leisure hours at the state electrical works at Cliurlotten burg, and using It as needed. Sixteen nuge steel condensers have been con structed for storing the steam, which Is available under high pressure ut any time desired. mathematically hiact "The snake to which 1 refer," said the teacher, “Is said to strike with mathematical precision." “I suppose you mean an adder, slr7” suggested a bright pupil. — Stray Stories. Privilege Given Women All males are barred from the mar ket place of Almerla, Spain, lest wom en be molested while on their domestic errands during the forenoon. A man seeking to make n purchase must first get a permit. For Best Results in Home Dyeing You can always give richer, deep er, more brilliant colors to faded or out-of-sty)e dress es, hose, coats, draperies, etc., with Diamond Dyes. And the colors stay in through wear and washing! Here’s the reason. Diamond Dyes contain the highest quality anilines money can buy. And it’s the anilines that count! They are the very life of dyes. Plenty of pure anilines make Diamond Dyes easy to use. They go on evenly without spotting or streaking. Try them next time and see why authorities recom mend them; why millions of women will use no other dyes. You get Diamond Dyes for the same price as ordinary dyes; 15^ at any drug store. HAIR BALSAM I>auio cants by mail or at drntt ciita. Hisoox Chain.cal Works, Patehogne, N. i. SIOUX CITY PTG. CO.. NO. 33-192* Protect your luuuh with Cuiicuru Nosip Always in view, your hands should be as attractive as possible. To prevent redness and roughness caused by daily tasks, use Cuiicura Soap every time you wash your bands; always dry thoroughly . . . Assist with Cuticura Ointment it necessary. Soap 2Jc. Talcum 2Sc. OictiBcirJ'c.anJ 50c. Ssmpt* tads frm. AJdrcn: “Cuticuxm" _ _ _. Dept. B7. I* H Rll V Malden. Mass.