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About The frontier. (O'Neill City, Holt County, Neb.) 1880-1965 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 14, 1905)
He Saw It. From Harper's Weekly. An American touring in the country with an English friend stopped to point out to him a sign post on which soma wag had printed this sign: "This way to Squedunk. Those who cannot read apply at the blacksmith's opposite." The American roared with laughter, but the Englishman looked puzzled. After they had returned home that night the Englishman came Into hla host's room roaring with laughter. "Ah." he said, "I see the Joke now— suppose the blacksmith were out?" Apes a* CashiertI From the Lahore Tribune. In Slam apes are now employed aa cashiers. A year or two ago much base coin was circulated by a clique of coin ers. and the tradesmen found that It was a very difficult matter to discrim inate between good and bad money. One large store kept a pet monkey, and one morning he was seen to take a coin from the cashier’s desk and put It between his teeth. After biting It'for some moments he threw It on the floor with a solemn grimace of dissatisfac tion. The proprietor of the store then hand ed the monkey another coin, and after testing It with great deliberation he laid It on the cashier’s desk. Apparently the creature could tell a counterfeit coin from a good one, and in order to ascertain whether other monkeys had the same extraordinary gift a couple of apes belonging l o a zoo were given the test, with satisfactory results. From that day the majority of the business houses In Slam have kept monkeys as cashiers, and the gifted creatures have developed the faculty of discrimination between good and bad coin to such perfection that no human being can compete with them. A little while ngo a monkey employed by a firm of clothiers died, and his cof fin. which was of polished oak, was conveyed to the cemetery In an open bearse, was followed by all the cashier monkeys In Slam. Core to Stay Cured. Wapello, Iowa, Sept. 11.—(Special.) —One of the most remarkable cures ■ever recorded in Louisa county is that of Mrs. Minnie Ilart of this place. Mrs. Hart was in bed for eight months and when she was able to sit up she was all drawn up on one side and could not walk across the room. Dodd's Kid ney Pills cured her. Speaking of her cure, Mrs. Hart says: "Yes, Dodd's Kidney Pills cured m* -after I was in bed for eight months, and I know the cure was complete for that was three years ago, and I have not been down since. In four weeks from the time I started taking them I was able to make my garden. Nobody can know how thankful I am to be cured or how much I feel I owe to Dodd's Kidney Pills.” This case again points out how much the general health depends on the kid neys. Cure the kidneys with Dodd’a Kidney Pills and nine-tenths of tha aufferlng the human family is heir to will disappear. Winter Quarters in the Antarctic. In Harper's for September, I>r. Charcot, chief of tha French South Polar expedi tion. tells Interestingly of how he pre pared to meet the winter at Wandel Isl and : ' The work of Installing ourselves In winter quarters began at once. The boat was docked along a rocky cllfT covered with Ice, In a little harbor which looked «s if It were cut to order. Hawsers and chains were attached to blocks of granite from the ship's prow and stern. The prow was aground, and the taffrall of the stern was protected by a girdle of casks. Tho port, which opens toward the northeast, Is exposed to the heavy winds of this region, which bring In the storms and great quan tities of ice from the open sea. We also built a dam across the harbor by means of a raft and anchor-chain, which, held up about a metre from the surface, was sub jected from time to time to considerable pressure. This dam had the double ad vantage of offering resistance to tho big blocks of Ice coming from the sea and of keeping In the harbor smaller fragments of tee, which then served as a kind of buffer. But even so. we had to endure at times shocks from blocks of Ice weighing several tons, which as they were brought In by the storms, Btruck out ship like hatte ring-rams. "After rcconnolterlng the country the atatlon was quickly completed. It was necessary to take advantage of tho sun light, for Inclement days were numerous. As early as tho lllh of March lamps had to be lit at 7 o'clock. We built a road with ■ bard blocks of snow to make our accesa to land more easy. The portable house was put up In tho valley, against the hill. At one side a shed was built; then a largo ditch dug In the Ice apd covered with canvas served as our food-dock. The pro visions were stored there In snow houses, for the ship was liable at any time to be crushed by the lee. On this account It was prudent to unload as many of the provisions as possible. Two snow houses built after tho Eskimo fashion served as slaughter houses. Here seals, penguins and cormorants were prepared. The choice bits of meat went to the storehouse." stronger than meat. A Judge’s Opinion of Giape-Nnts. A gentleman who has acquired a ju dicial turn of mind from experience on the bench out In the Sunflower State writes a carefully considered opinion as to the value of Grape-Nuts as food. Ho says: “For the past five years Grape-Nuts has been a prominent featuib In our bill of fare. "The crisp food with the delicious, ir.'.tly flavor has become an indispens able necessity in my family's every day life. “It has proved to be most healthful ; anl beneficial, and bns enabled us to practically abolish pastry and pies from our table, for the children prefer Grape-Nuts and do uot crave rich and unwholesome food. “Grape-Nuls keeps us all in perfect physical condition—as a preventive of disease It is beyond value. I have been particularly impressed by the bene ficial effects of Grape-Nuts when used by ladles who are troubled with face blemishes, skin eruptions, etc. It clears up the complexion wonderfully. “As to Its nutritive qualities, my ex perience Is that otie small dish of Grape-Nuts Is superior to a pound of meat for breakfast, which Is an im portant consideration for anyone. It satisfies the appetite and strengthens the power of resisting fatigue, while Its us*> Involves none of the dlsagree *tl 1 * consequences that sometimes fol low a meat breakfast." Name given by I’ostnm Co.. Battle Creek, Mich. There's » reason. THE MASTER OF APPLEBY 11» ■ -m== By Fr«Lnci« Lynda. ... — , ^ CHAPTER XXIX.—Continued. Dick had more of the nipping* than I, and though he kept up a running fire of taunts and gibing flings at the marksmen, I could hear the gritting oaths aside when they pinked him. Notwithstanding, the worst of these miscasts fell to my lot. A hatchet, sped by the clumsiest hand of all, missed its curving, turned, and the helve of It struck me fair In the stom ach. Not all the parting pangs of death, as I fondly believe, will lay a heavier toll on fortitude than did this grlping-stroke which I must endure standing erect. 'Tls no figure of speech to suy that I would have given the re version of a kingdom, and a crown to boot, for leave to double over and groan out the agony of it. Happily for us, there were no women with the band, so we were spared the crueler refinements of these ante-burn-^ log torments; the flaying alive by Inch bits, and the sticking of blazing splints of pitch-wood In the^/lesh to make death a thing to be prayed for. There was naught of this, and tiring of the marksman play, the Indians made ready to burn us. Some ran to recover the spent weapons; others made haste to heap the wood In a broad circle about our trees; and the chief, with three or four to help, renewed the deer thong lashings. ’Twas In the rebinding that this headman, a right kingly looking savage as these barbarians go, thrust a'bit of paper into my hand and gave me time to glance Its message out by the light of the fire. ’Twas a line from Mar gery, and this is what she said: Dear Heart: Though you must needs believe my love Is pledged to your good friend and mine, ’tis yours, and yours alone, my lion-hearted one. I, am praying the good God to give you dying grace, and me the courage to follow you quickly. Margery. This by the hand of Tallachama. For one brief Instant a wave of Joy caught and flung me upon its highest crest, and all these savage tormentors could do to me became as naught. Then the true meaning of this, her brave Ave atque vale, smote me like a space-flung meteor, and the joy-wave became an ocean of despair to engulf me in its blackest depths. The letter was never meant for me; ’twas for Rich ard Jennifer, who, as she would think, must know the story of her marriage to his friend and .must be lieve her love went with the giving of her hand. And she named him IJon Heart because he was brave, and true, and strong, like that first English Rich ard of the kingly line. I thrust the message back upon the bearer of it, begging him in dumb show to give it quickly to my companion. I knew not at the time if he did it, be-, ing so crushed and blinded by this fresh misery. But when the Indians drew off to ring us in a chanting circle for the Anal act, I would not let the lad see my face for fear he might fathom the heart-break in me and know the cause of it. 'Twas at this crisis, when all was ready and one had run to fetch the fire, that I heard a smothered oath from Dick and saw the Indian who was com ing up to fire the wood heaps drop his brand and tread upon it. "Ecod!” said a voice, courtier-like and smoothly modulated. “ ’Tis most devilish lucky that I came, Captain Ireton. Another moment and they would have grilled you in the king’s uniform—a rank treason, to say naught of poor Jack Warden left without a clout to cover him.” It needed not the glance aside to name mine enemy. But I would not pleasure him with an answer. Neither would Richard Jennifer. He stood si lent for a little space, smiling and nurs ing his chin in one hand, as his habit was. Then he spoke again. “I came to bid you God-speed, gen tlemen. You tumbled bravely into my little trap. I made no doubt you'd fol low where the lady led, and so you did. But you’ll turn back from this, l do assure you, if there be any virtue in an Indian barbecue.” At thiB Richard could hold in no longer. "Curse you!" he gritted. "Do you mean that you kidnaped Mistress Stair to draw us out of hiding?” “Truly,” said this arch-fiend, smiling again. "Most unluckily for you, you both stood in my way—you see, I am speaking of it now as a thing past— and I chanced upon this thought of killing two birds with the one stone; nay, three, I should say, if you count the lady In." “Have done!" choked Richard, in a voice thick with impotent rage. "Give place, you hound, and let your savages to their work!" “At your pleasure, Mr. Jennifer. I have no fancy for funeral baked meats, hot or cold, though they be made, as now, to furnish forth a marriage sup per. I bid you good night, gentlemen. I'll go and make that call upon the lady which you were so rude as to interrupt a little while ago.” And with that he turned his back upon us and Btrode away, forgetting to tell his redskinned myrmidons to strip me of that king's uniform he was so loath to have me burned in. The Cherokees waited till the master executioner was out of sight among the trees. Then they set up their in fernal howling again, and the fire lighter ran to fetch a fresh brand. "Courage, lad! 'twill soon be over now," said I, hearing a groan from my poor Dick. His reply was a chattering curse, not upon Falconnet or the Indians, but up on hts malady, the tertian fever. "Now, by all the fiends! I’m chilling again. Jack!” he gasped. "It these cursed wood-wolves mark it. they’ll set | it down to woman cowardice and that : will break my heart.” Again I bade him be of good cour I age. assuring him, not derisively, as it looks when 'tls written out, that the fire would presently medicine the chill I ing. In the middle of the saying the I lighted brand was fetched and thrust among our fagotlngs, and the upward curling smoke wreaths made me gasp and strangle at the finish. For a little time after the sucking in > of that first smoke-breath—nature’s anodyne for any of her poor creatures doomed to die by fire—I saw and heard less clearly and suffered only by antlcl i pation. But to this day the smell of I burning pine wood is like a sleeping 1 potion to me, and the sleep It brings is full of dreams vaguely troubled. So. while the Indians danced and leaped about us, brandishing their weapons and chanting the captives’ death song, and wrhile the blue and yel low tongues of flame mounted from twig to twig, climbing stealthily to flick at us like little vanishing demon whips, I saw and heard and felt as on* i emote from ail the torture turmoil of the moment. Through the dimming haze of sleeping sensibility the dancing savages became as marionettes in some cunning puppet show; and the blood stained figures stiffening against their log took shapes less horrifying. ’Twas Dick's voice, coming, as it seemed, from a mighty distance, that broke the spell and brought me back to quickened agonies. He spoke in pant ing gasps, as the smoke would let him. "One word, Jack, before we go—go to our own place. He said—he said she would be free to—to marry him. Tell me ... O, God in Heaven!" His agony was a lash to cut me deep er than any flicking demon whip of flame, yet I must needs add to it. ; "Aye, Richard, I have wronged you, wronged you desperately; can you hear me yet? I say I have wronged you, and I shall die the easier if you will forgive—" Once more the smoke, rising again in denser clouds, cut me off, and through the blinding blue haze of it I saw the Indians running up with green branches to beat it down lest It should spoil their sport oversoon by smoth- i erlng us out of hand. With the chance to gasp and breathe again, I would have confessed in full to Richard Jennifer and had him shrive me If he would. Hut when I called, he did not answer. His head was rolling from side to side, and his handsome young face was all drawn and distorted as in the awful grimaces of the death throe. You will not wonder that I could not look at him; that I looked away for very pity's sake, praying that I might quickly breathe the flames, as I made sure he had, and so be the sooner past the anguish crisis. There was good hope that the prayer would have a speedy answer. The fires were, burning clearer now, leaping up in broad dragon's tongues of flame from the outer edges of the fagot piles to curtain off all that lay beyond. Through the luminous ila*me-veil the capering savages took on shapes the most weird and grotesque; and when I had a glimpse of the dead men's row, each | hideous face in It seemed to wear a grin of leering triumph. Thus far there had been never a puff of wind to fan the breeze. But now above the shrilling of the Indian chant*; and the crackling of the flames a low ! growl of thunder trembled in the upper air, and a gentle breeze swept through the tree tops. So now I would commend my soul to , God, making sure that the breath He ; gave would go out on the wings of the first gust that should come to drive the fiery veil inward. . But when the gust came it was from behind; a sweep- ] lng bosom to beat down the leaping dragons' tongues; a pouring flood of blessed coolness to turn the ebbing life tide and to set the dulled senses once more keenly alert. With the wind came the rain, a pass ing summer night’s shower of great drops spattering on the leaves above and dripping thence to fall hissing in the fires. Then the thunder growled again; and into the monotonous dron ing of the Indian chant, or rather ris ing sharp and clear above it, came a sudden rattling fire of musketry from the camp in the savanna—this, and the ; sharp skirling of the troop captain's whistle shrilling the assembly. While yet the flames lay flattened In | the wind, I saw the Indians wheel and bound away to the rescue of their camp ; like a pack of hounds in full cry. In ! a trice they were, wallowing through the stream at the foot of the powder i boulder; and then, as the flames leaped up again, a dark form burst through the fiery barrier, my bonds were cut, and a strong hand plucked me out of the scorching hell pit. h If I did aught to help It was all me- I chanlcal. I do remember dimly some fierce struggle to free my legs from the blazing tangle; this, and the swelling sob of Joy at the sight of the faithful Catawba hacking at Dick’s lashings and dragging Hlhi also free of the fire. ; And you may believe the welcome tears came to ease the pain of my seared eyes when my poor lad—I had thought him gone past human help—took two staggering steps and flung his arms about my neck. Uncanoola gave us no time to come ; by easy stages to full-wit sanity. In a i twinkling he had pounced upon us to I crush us one upon the other behind the larger tree. And now I come upon an other of those flitting Instants so crowded with happenings that the swiftest pen must seem to make them ■ lag. ’Twas all in a heart beat, as It i were; the Catawba’s freeing of us; his j flinging us to earth behind the tree; a spurt of blinding yellow flame from the foot of the powder cliff, and a booming, Jarring shock like that of an earth- ; quake. The momentary glare or the yellow [ flash lit up a scene most awe-inspiring, i The spouting fountain of fire at the base of the great powder rock was thick with flying missiles; and on high I the very cliff Itself was tottering and j crumbling. So much I saw; then the | Catawba sprang up to haul us afoot by j main strength, and to rush us, with an i arm for each, headlong through the i wood toward the valley head. But Dick hung back, and when the dull thunder of the falling rocks, the , crash of the tumbling clllf and the shrill I death yells of the doomed ones came to j our ears, he fought loose from ths In- 1 dlan and flung himself down, crying as if his heart would break. “O God! she’s lost, she’s lost!—and I have missed the chance to die with her or for her!” CHAPTER XXX. HOW EPHRAIM YEATES PRAYED FOR HIS ENEMIES. However much or little the Catawba understood of Richard Jennifer's grief or its cause, the faithful Indian had a thing to do and he did It, loosing his grasp of me to turn and fall upon Dick with pullings and haulings and buftetlngs, fit to bring a man alive out of a very stiffening rigor of despair. So, in a hand-space he had him up, and we were pressing on again, in mid night darkness once we had passed be yond the light of our grilling fires. No word was spoken; under the Impatient urging of the Indian there was little breath to spare for speech. But when Richard’s afterthought had set its fangs in him, he called a halt and would not be denied. "Go on, you two, if you are set upon it,” he said. “I must go back. Be think you, Jack; what if she be only maimed and not killed outright. ’Tis too horrible! I’m going back, I say.” The Catawba grunted his disgust. "Captain Jennif talk fas’; no run fas'. What think? White squaw yonder—no yonder,” pointing first for ward and back In the direction of the stricken camp. Richard spun around and gripped the Indian by the shoulders. “Then she Is alive and safe?” he burst out. "Speak, friend, whilst I leave the breath in you to do it!” “Ugh!" said the chief, in nowise I moved either by Jennifer’s vehemence | or by the dog-like shake. "What for | Captain Jennif think papoose thinks ’bout the Gray Wolf and poor InjunT Catch um white squaw firs’; then blow um up Chelakee camp and catch um Captain Jennlf and Captain Long knife If can. Heap do firs' thing firs’, and las’ thing las’. Wahl" It was the longest speech this de voted ally of ours was ever known to make; and having made it he went dumb aagin save for his urgings of us forward. But present both he and I had our hands full with the poor lad. The swift transition from despair to Joy proved too much for Dick; and, be sides, the fever was in his blood and he was grievously burned. So we went stumbling on through the cloud-darkened wood, locked arm in arm like three drunken men, tripping over root snares and bramble nets spread for our feet, and getting well sprinkled by the dripping foliage. And at the last, when we reached the ra vine at the valley’s head, Dick was muttering In the fever delirium and we were well-night carrying him a dead weight between us. 'Twas a most -heart-breaking busi ness, getting the Jrior^ad up that rock ladder of escape in the darkness; for though I had come out of the fire with fewer burns than the roasting of me warranted, the battle preceding it had opened the old sword wound in my shoulder. So, taking it all in all, I was but a short-breathed second to the faithful Catawba. None the less, we tugged it through after some laborious fashion, and were glad enough when the steep ascent gave place to leveler going, and we could sniff the fragrance of the pla teau pines and feel their wire-like needles under foot. By this the shower cloud had passed and the stars were coming out, but It was still pitch black under the pines; bo dark that I started like a nervous woman and went near to panic when a horse snorted at my very ear, and a voice, bodiless, as it seemed, said: "Well, now; the Lord be praised! if here ain’t the whole enduring—” What Ephraim Yeates would hav# said, or did say. was lost upon me. For now my poor Dick’s strength was quite spent, and when the chief and I were easing him to lie full length up on the ground, there was a quick little cry out of the darkness, a swish of petticoats, and my lady darted in to fall upon Richard in a very transport or pity. “Oh, my poor Dick! they have killed you!" she sobbed; "oh, cruel, cruel!” Then she lashed out at us. “Why don’t you strike a light? How can I find and dress his hurts in the dark?” “Your pardon. Mistress Margery,” I said; “'tis only that the fever has overcome him. He hns no sorq hurts, as I believe, save the fire-scorching.” "A light!" she commanded; "I must have a light and se . for myself. ” We had to humor her. though it was something against prudence. Epraim found dry punk in a rotten log, and fir ing it with the flint and steel of a great king's musket—one of his reav ings from the enemy—soon had a pine knot torch for her. She gave it to the Catawba to hold; and while she was cooing over her patient and binding up his burns in some simples gathered near at hand by the Indian. I had the story of the double rescue from the old hunter. Set forth in brief, that which had come as a miracle to Dick and me fig ured as a daring bit of strategy made possible by the emptying of the Indian camp at our torture spectacle. Yeates and the Catawba, following out the plan agreed upon, had come within spying distance u'hile yet we were In the midst of that hopeless back-to-back battle, and had most wisely held aloof. But later, when ev ery Indian of the Cherokee band was busy at our torture trees, they set to work. With no watch to give the alarm, ’twas easy to rifle the Indian wigwams of the firearms and ammunition. Tha latter they threw into the stream; tha muskets they loaded and trained over a fallen tree at the northern edge of the savanna, bringing them to bear pointblank upon the light-horse guard gathered again around the great fire. The next step was the cutting out of the women; this was effected whilst the baronet-captain was paying his courtesy call on us. Like the looting of the Indian camp, ’twas quickly planned and daringly done; it asked but the quieting of the two trooper guards on the forest side of the tepee lodge, a warning word to Margery and her woman, and a shadow-like flitting with them over the dead bodies of their late Jailers to the shelter of the wood. Once free of the camp, Yeates had hurried his charges to a place of tem porary safety farther up the valley, leaving the Catawba to cross the stream to lay a train of dampened powder to the makeshift magazine. When he had led the women to a place of safety, the old man left them and ran back to his masked battery of load ed muskets. Here, at an owl-cry sig nal from Uncanoola, he opened fire up on the redcoats. The outworking of the coup de main was a triumph for the old borderer’s shrewd generalship. At the death dealing volley the Englishmen were thrown into confusion; whilst the In dians, summoned by the firing and the shrilling of the captain’s whistle, dashed blindly into the trap. At the right moment Uncanoola touched off his powder train and cut in with a clear field for his rescue of Dick and me. Continued Next Week.) Cherry Growing. | Iowa is making steady progress as a fruit growing state. The census of 1890 re i ported 3.149,588 apple trees growing within her borders. In 1900 the number had reached 6,869,588. In 1895 there were 707,506 plum trees In the state; In *900, 1,302,217. In cherry trees the increase is even more striking, thers being 200,000 trees in 1S90, against 800,000 in 1900. While the climate of the northern part of the state Is no doubt too severe for suc cessful cherry growing with any except the hardiest varieties, this delicious fruit ] can easily be grown in the central and southern parts. The tree is handsome and ornamental and is appropriate for lawn and garden. ; Some work recently done by Professors Price and Little at the experiment station I at Ames furnishes valuable information upon cherry culture. This material is be ing given to the public as bulletin 73 of ; the station. ! A brief historical note on the cherry is given, followed by a discussion of the fol lowing phases of the subject: Propaga tion, native stocks, top grafting, site, soil, planting, cultivation, cover crops, pruning, insect and fungous enemies, protection j from birds, etc. Considerable space is de voted to a list of varieties with notes upon their characteristics, behavior In various sections, etc. Blossoming periods of the leading varieties are graphically shown by means of charts. ! The bulletin is a valuable handbook for the commercial orchardist, nurseryman and farmer. Write C. F. Curtiss, director of experiment station, Ames, la., for a copy if you are interested. Brought Trouble on Himself. Butte Inier-Mountain: White—What is the matter with Plunger’s head? Green—Yesterday was his wooden wedding and he gave his wife a rolling pin for a present and when he return ed from celebrating the event she re turned the present with a speech suit able to the occasion. i TROUBLES OF THE POOR UMPIRE “Silk” O’Lough I in, an American League Arbitrator, Tell* Some Interesting Stories. ALL KINDS OF PLAYERS Some of Them Kick Because They Can’t Help It, While Others Are Malicious—Some Amusing Stories. The umpires and the ball players get along much better than Is generally supposed. While on the field there Is frequently an exchange of words that causes the fans to think that nothing but gore will ever wipe out the stain. As a matter of fact the men under stand each other pretty well and real ize that in the heat of the contest many bitter things are likely to be said, which are forgotten the moment the contest is finished. Yet there are play ers who are mean and ugly at all times. These furnish the umpires with the most trouble. Occasionally a manager breaks into the game and makes trou ble, but the unsportsmanlike individ uals are few and far between, it is be lieved. One of the most Interesting discus sions regarding the game from the um pire’s statements is told by a sporting writer In a Chicago newspaper. Silk O’Laughlin, who is attached tu the American league staff of umpires, is one of the best known and most popular arbitrators in the business. And he 'Is a student of human nature as the fol lowing interview with him shows: “If umpires were to take to heart all of the cracks the players make at them during a season they’d all be drawing green tickets for the booby hatch and making bughouse finishes," said O’Loughlin this week. "Some ball players can no more help giving slack to an umpire than they can help their hair growing. They were born aggressive, and they’ve been pugnacious from the cradle. Natural Born Kickers. “It would be unfair to treat these fellows, most of whom off the ball field, are all right and the best chaps imagin able, as players are treated who have complete control of themselves and who chuck insults at umpires with utter and wanton deliberation without being sore at all. "These natural born kickers have got different kinds of bugs. Some of them will carry their bats to the bench with out a word when the umpire an nounces that they’ve been whiffed out, but they’ll put up a bellow that can be heard a mile when they’ve been nabbed by a cable’s length in trying to pilfer a base. “These are the ones who have got it into their conks that they are un beatable base runners, and no matter how obvious it may be to all hands! that they have been beat to it by the ball, they'll emit the bull roar every time the umpire announces that they’ve failed to nab a sack. “Others of the born buckers will' wheel upon an umpire and growl at him out of the corner of their mouths every time they’re called out on strikes, while they never exclude a bleat over the closest kind of base decisions in which they figure. They are ball play ers who have been in the game for nearly two decades, and still regard it as a personal reflection upon them and an acute humiliation when they’re called out on strikes, no matter how well it may be known to all the fans ini the country that they’re sagging in: their hitting. Fired the Sneering Player. ’’It’s the cool, sneering fellows who let out their cracks at the umpire, with out ever being in the least het up over decisions, who get on the nerves of an arbitrator of the ball field. They’re the chaps who like to take up subscriptions to buy an umpire a silver loving knife, so to speak. “I once put a team captain out of the game and off the lot altogether for a peculiarly vicious and offensive remark that he made to me—not over a decision that had been rendered, but Just as he was passing out to the lot when his side went out. He just sidled alongside of me and let out the dirty stab in a low tone of voice, so that nobody else, not even any of the players, heard him. "He was off the grounds inside of three minutes, and I got the roasting of my life from the crowd. They didn’t know what had happened, for the cap tain of the team hadn't even looked in my direction when he addressed the offensive remark to me. "Now, the catcher of that captain’s team had been bawling around like a bull of Bashan over my decisions on strikes and balls all the afternoon, and when, after putting the captain out for his nasty uppercut, I failed to maverick the catcher, too, who kept right on bel lowing, the sun gods just got up on their hind legs and let me have it from soup to nuts. They didn’t know the an swer, which was simply that the catch er, while kicking—he was one of the natural born buckers—hadn’t done or said anything to warrant his being chased, while the captain had more than merited being escorted to the gate. “The crowds that set up a roasting of the umpire can't see or hear everything that comes off on a ball lot. If they could they’d be a whole lot less prone to sudden and unjust attacks upon the arbitrator. ‘T never put a player out of a game when he acts suspiciously, as If he Is trying to get put out. That would make It too soft entirely for such a player. "I ran Into one of them In one of the western cities not long ago. He's a catcher, and a swell one at that. "I noticed when he began the game that he was perspiring In a way that looked abnormal for a man who gen erally keeps himself in such fine condi tion, and I had It correctly figured out that he’d had a bit of a quiet whiz with the bunch the night bofere. He was doing his work all right, but it was hard work for him, as I could eas ily see. “Well, along toward the middle of the game I was compelled to maverick one of the players for offensive and persist ent bucking, and then the catcher turned upon me and began to emit a bunch ot grunts at me. He never was a kicker, and he surprised me. 'That'll be about all from you, pal,’ I said to him—he's a man I've been on terms with for a good many years. ! 'You watch out or out you'll go, too.' " 'Put me out!' he grunted at me, mopping his perspiring face with the sleeve of his jacket. ‘I dare you to put me out! I want to be put out!’ ■■ 'And that's the answer, old man—I know you do,’ I said to him. ‘I can’t help these hard nights of yours. You go to work and sweat it out, that’s all. Batter up!’ "He turned a sheepish grin upon me through his mask, muttered something about tow-headed, crafty fellows, and got down to business for the remainder of the aftomoon. LIEUT, F. S. DAVIDSON PE-RU-NH STRENGTHENS 1 ENTIRE SYSTEM. 5 F. S. Davidson, Ex-Lieut. U. S. 5 ? Army, Washington, D. C., care IT. S. ( \ Pension Office, writes: S < "To my mind there Is no remedy S ) for catarrh comparable to Peruna. ) ( It not only strikes at the root of the < ) malady, but It tones and strengthens S ; the system In a truly wonderful < i way. That has been Its history In i my case. I cheerfully and tmhesi ' tatingly recommend it to those ' afflicted as I have been.”—F. S, 1 f Davidson. If you do not derive prompt and satis, factory results from the use of Peruna. write at once to Dr. Hartman, giving a full statement of your case, and he will be pleased to give you his valuable ad vice gratis. Address Dr. S. B. Hartman, President of the Hartman Sanitarium, Colum bus, Ohio. THE NEXT MORNING I FEEL BRIGHT AND NEW AND MY COMPLEXION IS BETTER. Mr doctor «ayo it acts gently on tho ttomaoh. liver and kidneys and is a pleasant laxative. 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