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About The Nebraska advertiser. (Nemaha City, Neb.) 18??-1909 | View Entire Issue (March 15, 1907)
THE SIN OF THK COPPENTER MAN. The espMntw man sala a wicked -word, When he hlttod his Uiumb one day, En I know what It was, boc.iuso I heard, Kn it's aosnethln'" I dassent say. Ho trowed us a house with rooms In side It, En the rooms Is full of floors; It's my papa's house, en when bo buyed it It was nothln' but Just outdoor En they planted stone In a hole for seeds, En that's how tho houso bepan, But I bet the stones would havo Just growod weeds, Except for tho coppenter man. En the coppenter man took a board en sajd He'd shin It en make somo curls, En 1 hung 'em onto my ears on head, En they mado mo look like girls. En ho squinted alone one side, he did, En he squinted tho other side twice, En then ho told me, "You squint It, kid," 'Causo tho coppenter man's reel nice. But the coppenter man said a wicked word, When ho hlttod his thumb that day; lie s'lld It out loud, too, 'can so I heard, En It's somethln' I dassent say. En the coppenter man said It wasn't lmd. "When you hlttod your thumb, kerspat! En thore'd bo no coppentor men to bo had, If It wasn't for words like that. En If there wasn't no coppenter men, We'd have to live In tho barn Cnust there wouldn't be nny houses, en then. Then what would we do by darn! En tho coppenter man said a wicked word. "When he hlttod his thumb one day, En I know what It was, because 1 heard, En It's somnthln' 1 dassent say! Edmund Vance Cooko In Woman's Home Companion. The Lobbyist at Washington. Not all lobbyists are bad. Former Senator Thurston Is a good exam ple of a numerous class of lobbyists who are to bo found In Washington, as, indeed, in the vicinity" of any im portant legislative body, made up of attorneys engaged in the general prac tice of the law, and in special practice before the governmental departments and Congress. They reside at the cap ital the year around and are enabled by their familiarity witK government al or legislative methods to do with comparative ease what the man who does not know, or who is not ac quainted would find It hard to do. Much of their business is perfectly legitimate. Some of it may lae regard ed as high class. And on the other hand, much of it is of Btich a questton able character that it is regarded as "extremely confidential." Tills class of permanent all the year around lob by lawyers is recruited constantly from the Senate and the house of rep resentatives members who, from time to time, are dropped outsido tho breastworks, and, having learned to lovo the capital and its easy ways, open an office and take to this method of earning a living. But there are many sorts of lobby ists, and they are not all bad. j.nec dore Roosevelt is something of a lob byist himself. William H. Taft has boon seen often in tho Senate corri dors and even on the floor, personally soliciting members of that body to vote for army or Philippine legislation There are lobbyists who do not buy wine and lobbyists who do not solicit members or even interview them in peraon. There are lobbyists who work In tho open and have no secrets as .o their methods or objects. And there are lobbyists who skulk and sneak and deny their owners. There aro lob byists who spend themselves with a goncrous zeal for tho object of their desire, and there are others who spend other people's money in pretending to promoto affairs as much beyond their reach as the movements of the planets There are lobbyists for the farmer, lob byists for the sailor, and lobbyists for the church. There aro lobbyists for la bor, and lobbyists for capital. There are lobbyists for railroads, for publish rs, for government employees and finally there is a lobby for the people. It has come late an, afterthought, as it were. Gllson Gardner in Success Magazine. When a man is on top ,and easily vanquishes all opposition, it is oasy for him to bo magnanimous and char itable. But let an opponent appear who is smarter than ho is, then watch the magnanimous and charitable man go into tho air! When people marry they think they are getting the' top peach in the.bas ket, but after marriage they find they .got the peach on the bottom row. Pity Him. Even the bitterest enemies of th Russian orar men who hate him as n ruler can hnrdly fail to pity him as a man. Even tho optimistic sympathizer must nt least concede that there seems now no hope. Tito old dynasty, which for so many years has kept an im mense area of Europe and Asia dom inated and anaemic in its gloomy shade seemB at last tottering to its. fall through rottenness of Us heart. And when it Tails tho crash will bo something which will shako the world. Out of the whole mighty drama stands forth a central figure of trag edy the person of tho poor, trembling czar tho man. Born to this office, taught from boyhood that he wns or dained of God to occupy It, hearing dally that the might of tho govern ment must be upheld by any means, is it any wonder that he feels the re sponsibility which he dreads but dares not tmirlfnfihe riskof going down In history as a coward tho only coward of all the centuried rulers of the Russian empiro? Poor fellow! He was born a czar, but how much better for his llfo long happiness had he been born a farmer! Let no man lament that he was born humbly. Better come into tho world as a leper than as tho heir to a crown which floats on a sea of blood. To reign hated by millions, tolerated by the few whoso interest it Is to keep you In power to live in dally hor ror, not knowing at which moment your life will go out miserably, to know in your heart that you are' a hu man being, wnrm with life and lovo and the yearning for human sympa thy all of which qualities aro un known to the mass of humanity which sees in you merely tho personification of all the evils of a corrupt govern ment, grown rotten and vampiro-liko with the centuries. Rejoice,, oh common citizen, that you can go about the world in safety, lying down at night to sound sleep, un troubled by the nightmares of dread that gather around the ruler's couch. Rejoice that the head of our own na tlnn is able to go around in corduroys and slap a common man on the back and call him "Hello, Bill!" and bor row a match to light his pipe. But while you rejoice, spare a little sym pathy for the poor chap who is just now dying of fear in Tsarkoo Selo, a more wretched prisoner than over was locked in the death chamber waiting for the electric chnlr. The sins of a thousand years are visited upon his head but who can doubt that he would give all the world just to be a common man? Poor fellow! He was born a czar, but how much better had he been born a farmer! Des Moines News. How He Lost His Opportunity. How little tho average person who Is trying to get on realizes how many things are occurring in his experience which arc trying to down Tilm, and which aro hindering his advance! A poor job, an unkind word ,a stinging criticism, Ingratitude for a favor, failuro to give assistance when it was In his power, hard problems skipped away back in youth, a hasty act, an in discretion of an unguarded moment. All things are likely to come up when he least expects it and bar his progress. Many a ncble man with po litical ambitions has failed of election to Congress, or of appointment to some coveted office, because of some slip he has made, or of somebody, perhaps a private secretary, who has put in the word that checkmated the move for his advancement. Perhaps, it was a sarcastic remark about someone, who later was in a po sition to help him, that lost him tho opportunity. Many a man haB lost his opportun ity for advanceThent under the present administration by opposing and crit icizing Theodore Roosevelt in his ear lier career, when ho did not dream that the former would ever occupy his present lofty position. You can not tell where a thrust of an unguarded moment will land, or what effect a sarcastic remark may have on your future. He is a fortunate man who guards his tongue, who tem pers his acts with prudence and, good judgment. Success Magalzno. Tho hobo has n lot of trouble with policemen, dogs and poor pie, but he enjoys tho distinction of being prac tically the only person who can take an absolutely disinterested" view of the 2-cent a mile and antl-pasB rail road legislation. . Immm A. Mitchell, dealer in gonorul merchandise, Martin, Ga., writes: "My wife lost in weight from 180 to 68 pounds. We saw alio could not 11 vo long. She was a skeleton, so wo con sulted an old physician. Ho told her to try Poruna. "Sho gradually commoncod im proving and getting a llttlo strength. Sho now weighs 106 pounds. Sho is gaining every day, and doos her own housework and cooking." Congressman Grosvenor of Ohio, was complimented with $100,000 public building appropriation for Athens, his home town ,at the closing days of congress. He was defeated for re election after a long service in the lower house. ONLY ONE "BROMO QUININE." That Is LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine. Similarly named remedies sometimes deceive. The first and original Cold Tablet is a WHITE PACKAGE with black and red lettering, and bears tho signature of E. W. GROVE. 20c. PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS. PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any case of Itching, Blind, Bleed ing or Protruding Piles in C to 14 days or money refunded. 50c. There is always a sense of secret satisfaction among his schoolmates when the boy who has led his class at school, falls to make ood when school days are over ,and a sterner competition begins. BROOKS' NEW CURE Brooks' Appliance. New dlscorery. wonderful. No obnoiloua spring! or pads. Automatlo Air Cushions. Binds and draws the broken parts tooethsr as you would a broken limb. No wives. Xolympbol. No lies. Dur able, cheap. Pat. Sent. lO.'Ol. FOR SENT ON TRIAL. CATLOUE FREE. C. E. BROOKS. 4 HO Biwki'Bltf., BASSH1LL. MICH. w. IRUPTDBo JSv" JZi PUTNAM FADELESS DYES C.l.r mora as.ds brighter snd (asler colors than any atner dys. One 10c pscksss ool.rs silk, wool and ootlen equally wall and la suaranteed ta live perfect results. Isk sour druggist or we will send postpsld st 10c a pscksgs. Write for froo b.oklet-How to Dye, BUach and Mix Colors. MONROE DRUG CO., Vmlmvlll; Me. The central labor bodies of Norfolk, Portsmouth and Newport NGwS have decided to erect on the Jamestown exposition grounds a laUor hall to cost between $10,000 and $15,000, which will bo designed for labor headquar ters at tho exposition. BLfSBBIYp'Vba2AjriLJbPVSvSXCArHfl Ten Good Things. Thcro arc ton good things for which no ono has over yet been sorry. TIicbo aro: For Doing good to all. Speaking evil of none. Hearing before judging Thinking heforo speaking. Holding an nngry tbnguo. Being kind to tho distressed. Asking pardon for all wrongs. Being patient toward evorybody. Stopping Uic ears of a talebearer. Disbelieving most of tho ill reports. ONSUlVIPTION BOOK i mum, uk which wiL SENT 1?017 0? I Ik.w I., rut (Vmmnntlon In m!i ' w sT.tr. I jnurpwn horn, wriloforll . ,f I Inirnn i .1 orf i . ,1111 "tr hi. niiwi, niriu VARICOCELE A Snfo, Painless. Permanent lure 0UABA1JTEXD. .10 years' experionen No money uceopictl until patient Is well CONSULTATION and uahH BOOK Prff hv mall or ut offleo OR.C. M.COE, 915 Walnut St.. Kansas City, Me. 13 WEEKS FREE Or 15 Months for Only $1.00 The Kansas Farmer The "old reliable" Kansas Farmer, established In 1863, the beat genuine agricultural weekly pnpor In tho West. It nolvcs the problems for tqo busy farmer. It helps and interests every member of the farmer's fomlly. It has) 12 regular departments. Its contribu tors are expert authorities. It contains 24 to 32 pages each week. Sent on trial three months free. Test it. Clip the coupon below. TUB KANSAS FAItMKIl CO., Tnprka, Kaasss. I accept your trial offer to new subscriber to send me the Kansas Farmer three months free. At the end of the throe months I will eith er send $1.00 for a full year from that date or write you to stop tho paper, and you aro to makn no charge for the three months' trial. Name. P. O. TRY THE No Money Required a cent of money no deposit not even a reference. You wear the glasses in your own home for six days and if perfectly satisfactory la etery way if they are the. bast glasses you ever saw at aay arlce send me only $1 and the glasses are yours. If the glasses for any reason do not suit you it you don't believe them to be the best bargain you ever had return them and you are out nothing. It is because I am so positive that you can see better with Trusiajht Spectacles than with common glasses that I want to send a pair especially fitted to your eves on Slays' free trial. Send for tester today.. THUSIGHT SPECTACLE CO., 623 ' Kansas City, Ha. APILES FARMERS To those who as. a Wonder Orala Orader for preparing; seed. This Is NOT A PANNING MILL. Write (or Catalog. Endorsed by Farmers and State Universities everywhere. Wa will tell you where to buy one. Write Dept. B, BURBKA MFd. CO. WRITE TODAY. LINCOLN, NBB. PY-RO SMOKE YOUR OWN MEAT, FARMERS. Glvea Meat Swoet Wholesome Taste. 7B PY-RO IS PUR Standn Pura Food Test. Guam n too your town wrlta direct to manufacturer. smoked flavor. HYSOM REM Western Patents. Adams, Allen A, Berrytoc, Kan. Gate hinge. Oladisb, Edwin B. Higginsville, Mo. Bee smoker. Hazelton, Thomas A., Mackvlllo, Kansas. Match-safe. Housel, Iola, Pru, Kan. Garment supporter. Tauscher, John, Ellis, Kan. Hitch for plows and tho like. Toy; Thomas D. Cherryvalo, Kans. Vehicle-shaft Wright, John R., Wheeling, Mo. Hay stacker. When wo ask a question, and the reply Is, "A thousand people have asked that question," wo feel asham ed. A great many Reforms are nothing more than a groan for the, power oth ers have. DR. COE'S SANITARIUM. LOOATHB AT ttTN AMO Wyano.tts. Best INVALID'S HOME in the West. OrKanlred with a full staff of physicians aa4 5?r!2nJLf2r.tr?ltmont 0 " Chronlo Diseases. lHIRTi ROOMS for accommodation of patient. rlfCHtJ rSurritot Otrmttmt Ptrftrnud with Skill and Sutctti whin Surgtrf it Ntciitmry, DISEASES OF WOMEN 5?" .ifiBS ui women, many wno naye suffered far year cured at home. Special book for women FRBB PERMANENT OUR! Withtut knl iiftturt tr tmuitie. N m0nty mcctttd until ptttint it well. VARICOCELE SSSHUnVMS Guarantee. Send for Special FRRK Book, New rentoratlvo treatment lor loss of Vital Power, Hydrocele, Rupture, Stricture oto CRIPPLED CHILDREN gHga metuodn. Trained attendants, WHIT PON Pang BOOK ON Club Feet, Curvature of Lunif, Eye. Sala, Spine. Hare Lip, Kldaey, Bladder, Epilepsy. Catarrh, Blood and Stomach Troubles, Nervous Disease. Patients successfully treated at home fey mall, CansnItatUa Free and confidential, at office or by letter. Thirty tars' experience. 17 Illastratsa look Free, Riving muoh valuable Information. Call ni omco or writo ta riD P II PflC Ornot, 0 1 6 Walnut St., Ufli bt W, bUCs KANSAS CITY, MO. TAPE-WORM- Exasllsi UtS i n s lautitwMh bftsd.nr nofse. Nofntlnf, Iju uv ti.mphlsllor JesUn. DK.M.NKYsmTII,Bptrl-H..llIMn(lt.,I.IMs,Mb $80 to $175 Ptr Month For Plremrn and nrakrmtn.eipcrlrnoe unnrrcunry. iiwiurcus 01 ponuons no open, iimn wngrs; rapm pro motion. W's swilst you In oecurlnf a position, lie a rsllrond msn. Hnd todny. Full parUculars free. Knclose stamp. J I Boston Blk Mlonepolls,iJlon. The Publishers Newspaper Union. K. C. Mo., Lincoln, Neb. V IX NO. 53 Eft B I t asV SET HOME for oonflai w M I nmm oasrs. Adoption Beautiful grounds ana uuliaing-, ro ndlms Trr exclusive. Ut Location and sar trletly ethical. For till 1 particulars, aadress ,,.wi J. S. G. Haibes, M. D.,5XSBAif FREE I Wamt f PrT u Tm Tart Tr sltfkt Spectacles Ar taa Mi t Tarn Ir Wort. Simply Send He Your Name. I will send you my perfect Trusif bt Eye Tester with which you can test your own eyea as well as the most killed optician. When you retura the tester with your test I will sens! you a pair of Geaalaa Traalgat Spectacles that will Burely fit you a days' free trial. I won't askrW ft IK M CURED WITHOUT THE KNIFE. Fistula, Flhsure. Weeding, Itching, Ulcortitlon, Const! psitloa and all Rectal DIscnsRH a Specialty. Cures Guaranteed. Sond for Hnokcle. DR. M. NKY SMITH, Hpeclallat. 814 rine St,, ST. LOUIS, MO. Eatabllaliod in Su Louis In 18M. 10 TO 30 PROFIT S GUARANTEED S PY-RO cent llottlo Cures 275 Pounds of Meat. E LIQUID SMOKE. d. Sold by till Drugglstn. If not sold In Cured mcnt with PY-HO has ye oldan EDY CO., Lincoln, Nebraska. What has Dccome of that nice old fashioned joalous woman who shot the other woman Instead of the man they both loved? Catarrh Cannot Be Cured with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, aa they cannot reach tho seat of the dls ease. Catarrh is a blood or constitu tional disease, and in order to cure it you must take internal remedies. Hall's Catarrh Curo Is taken internally and acts directly on the blood and. mucous surfaces. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is not a quack medicine. It was pre scribed by one of the best physicians in this country for years and Is a regu lar prescription. It is composed of t& best tonics known', combined with th host Iblood purifiers, acting directly on tho mucous surfaces. Tho perfeot combination of the two Ingredients is what produces such wonderful reBulU In curing catarrh. Send for free tes timonials. P. J. CHENEY & Co., Props, Tole4, O. ' Sold by Druggists, price 75c. 1 . Take" Hall's Family Pills for'eonaM. 1 nation 0