The Nebraska advertiser. (Nemaha City, Neb.) 18??-1909, December 18, 1896, Image 7

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    i4
Tho 'Wheel of Love.
He Dearest girl, the tire of my heart
litis been punctured by the tucks of your
chnrnis. lie mine, and let ua ride tan
dem through life.
She How sweet and strange! You
have scorched your way Into my af
fections and I cannot back pedal against
your attractions. I surrender tho
handle-bar of my lifo to your hands
nnd am sure you will steer our united
lhea wisely. -Philadelphia Review.
TH13 UI.VFKKEJiCK.
Siten Doze Say, pard, wot's do dif
ference between free silver and free
lunch?
Wauken Sleep Lots. One's sixteen
to one, and do other's eleven to two.
N. Y. journal.
A Furniture mystery.
Mrs. Wiggsy That family who have
moved in next door must be either very
rich or very poor.
Wiggsy Why so?
Mrs. Wiggsy Their furniture was
nil dono up carefully in sheets and
blankets, and I don't know whether it
was dono to hide its shnbbincss or to
protect its bcuuty. N. Y. Tribune.
n. Uuod Gucs.
Jinks (at a party) You never met my
wife, did you?
Blinks Wife? I didn't know you
were married. Is she in the room?
"Yes."
"Well, then, it must be that beautiful
creature over there."
"By Gcorgel You hit it the first time.
She's the most beautiful woman in tho
room, isn't she?"
"Yes; that's why I guessed sho was
your wife. You are the homeliest man
in the room, and people alwuya marry
that way." N. Y. Weekly.
It Might.
"Oh, nenry," exclaimed his little wifo,
as she threw her arms rapturously
around his neck, "1 do love you sol
Don't forget to leave me $20 when you
go in town this morning, will you,
dear?"
"And this," muttered Henry, softly
disengaging himself from her fond cm
brace, "this is what you might call be
ing hard pressed for money." Soincr
vllle Journal.
Tho AVrltcr'n Misfortune.
"There," said tho tired author, with a
sigh, "you'll have to economize. We
can't expect any returns from my last
book now."
"Why," exclaimed his wife, "what ha
happened?"
"The critics have all pronounced it n
good, elenn, wholesome story, and, oi
course, after thut, nobody'll buy it."
Cleveland Leader.
Ho Secured tho Job.
Lord Bareacres You have called re
garding the situation of footman?
Applicant Yes, my lord.
Lord Bareacres Was there not some
one in the nnte-room as you came in ?
Applicant There was, my lord. Ther
was a man with n writ for your lord
ship, but I threw him out.
Applicant engaged ou the spot. Tit
Bits.
a r.
ZZn-ZUffi--i21s57
Ghloifro Trlbuna
MAJ.M'KINLEY DISCOVERS THAT A NUMBER OF FEltSONS ARE W1LL-
. ING TO HOLD OFFICE.
Very Amusing.
The Heiress Yes, when I don't wish
to accept cortuin men's attentions, and
they ask me where I live, I say, in the
suburbs.
Mr. Selfsure Hal ha! An excellent
plun. (After a pause) But where do
you live, Miss Brownlow?
The Heiress In the suburbs. Tit
Bits. Not u Closo Imitation.
"What sort of stun! is this?" inquired
tho young husband.
"That is mock turtlo soup," said the
bride. "I made it myself. Don't
don't you like it?"
"Well, I dunno," said he. "But you
can be sure that you will never be ac
cused of plagiarism." N. Y. World.
What Thoy AVoro.
"Pillbody Iuihu good many revolution
ary ideas in his head."
"Those are not ideas revolving in Bill
body's head. They are wheels." In
dianapolis Journal.
A General ContliiRrntlnn.
Ho saw her, und his youthful breast
Was fired with love's sweet llame;
Alas! her father tired tho rest
OI Ills poor, fragllo frame.
-Springfield (HI.) Monitor.
' A Dellcutu Hubjoct.
' Miss Goldstein Why do you love me?
Young llukemofl! I wish you
wouldn't ask me that;' I can't bear to
talk about money matters. Town Top
ics. Undoubtedly.
Mother Hero's n wedding present
'from some one who didn't pay the ex
press charges.
Prospective Bride It must be from a
relative. Brooklyn Life.
Not ICuiilly Frightened.
' ne Do you believe there are microbes
lin kisses?
She I never believe anything with
out invfstigutlon. Town Topical.
Cheated the Old Gentleman.
"Is it true that Goldy's sou eloped
with the old gentleman's typewriter?"
"Yes; they skipped out two week
ago."
"I presume Goldy is just pa;ying the
air."
"Nnturally. ne was engaged to the
girl himself." Detroit Free Press.
Tom's Sud Fate. "
Tom, Tom, tho piper's son,
Stolo a bike and away he spun.
Tho wheel broko down, Tom cracked his
crown,
And now he's hobbling round tho town.
N. Y. Truth.
ONE MOKE UNFOItTDNATE
' (
Z &!
Mnimna (a widow) I want to tell you
something, Tommy. You saw that
gentleman talking to grandmammu in
tho other room? He is going to be
your new papa. Mamma is going to
marry him.
Tommy (who has' a memory) Does
he know it yet, mamma? N. 1'. Trib
une. Then There "Was a Coldness.
Marie Just think of the nerve of the
frtlow to propose to me.
Mertic Nerve? Why it was oVso
lute recklessness. N. i. Truth.
How's This?
Wo offer One Hundred Dollars Roward
for any enso of Catarrh that can not bo
cured by Hall's Catarrh Curo.
1 J. Chenet & Co., Props., Toledo, O.
Wo, tho undersigned, havo known F. J.
Cheney for tho last 15 years, and boliovo
him perfectly honorablo in all business
transactions and financially ablo to carry
out auy obligations niado by their Arm.
West & Tuuax, Wholesalo Druggists, To
ledo, O.
Wauiino, Kinnan & Mativin, Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, Ohio.
Hall's Catarrh Curo is taken internally,
acting directly upoa tho blood and mucous
surfaces of tho system. Prlco 76c. por bot
tle. Bold by all Druggists. Testimonials
free.
Hall'B Family PHIb aro tho best,
Wnr.N lovo gives, it enrichos itsolf, but
what covotousncBB keeps it takes from
itself. Ram's Horn.
Borno Down with Infirmities,
Ago finds Its surest solaro in tho benignant
tonlo aid afforded by Hostottar'g Stomach
Bitters, which counteracts rhoumntlo and
malarial tendencies, relievos growing inac
tivity of tho kidneys, and Is tho finest romedy
extant for disorders of tho stomach, liver
and bowels. Nervousness, too, with which
old pcoplo nro very opt to bo afillctod, is
promptly roliovcd by it.
i
NoTAxswKnnn Ybt. Tommy "0, paw I"
Mr. FIgg-"Wclll" "How can a solid fact
teak outf" Indianapolis Journal.
Tho Modern Mother
Has found thathor littlo ones aro improved
moro by thoplcasimtSyrup of Figs, when in
need of tliohtxativo effect of n geutlo rom
edy than by any otlior, and that it is moro
acceptably to them. Children enjoy it nnd
It benefits them. Tho truo remedy, Syrup
of Figs, is manufactured by tho California
Fig Syrup Company only.
i
As boon ns thought finds a body, it bo-
51ns trying to niovo tho world. Rum's
orn.
.
FcDtu.n nerves Bcvcro weather neural
gia. Soothing curo St. Jacobs Oil.
p
SnowiNO our beat sido to othors will
causo them to show their best sido to us.
Rani's Horn.
Cmicic Colds nnd Bronchitis with Halo's
Honey of Horohound nnd Tar.
Plko'BToothacho Drops Curo inotiominuto.
m
Tun wiso form right Judgment of tho
present from tho past.
Time counts, health gains. A quick, sure
curo St. Jacobs Oil for sprains.
Lawlues aro thoy that make their wills
their law. William Shakespeare
Blacker the spot, surer tho curo. Uso St
Jacobs Oil for bruises.
THE GENERAL MARKET.
Kanbah City-, :
CATTLE Dost beeves t
StocUors
Native oo ws.
HOGS Cnoico to heavy.
SHEEP
WHEAT-Ho. 'i red.
No. 2 hard
CORN No. 2 mixed. .
OATS No. S mlxod.
UYE-No. 2
FLOUTt Patent, per saclc .
Fancy.
HAY Cholco timothy.
Fancy pralrlo
MIAN (Sacked!
HUTTEK Cholco creamery....
CHEESE Full cream.
ECGS-Cholco
POTATOES
ST. LOUIS.
CATTLE Natlvo and shipping
Toxans ;
HOGS Heavy
SHEEP Fair to obotco
FLOUK-Ctiolco
WHEAT No. 2 red.
CORN No. 2 mixed.
OATS-No. 2 mlxod.
RYE-No. 2
HUTTER Creamery . . .
LARD Western mess.
PORK
CHICAGO.
CATTLE Common to prltno...
HOGS Packing and shipping.
SHEEP Fair to cholco.
FLOUR Winter wheat.
WHEAT No. 2 rod.
CORN-No. 2
OATS No. 2
RYE
UU'ITER-Crcamory.
LARD
PORK
NEW YORK.
CATTLE Native Steers.
HOGS Good to Cholco.
FLOUR-Good to Cholco.
WHEAT No. 2 red.
CORN No 2
OATS No. 2
BUTTER Creamery .
PORK Mess ,
I
ffiMMMMHMtffi
1 Suffering
Don't Tobacco Hplt und Bmolco Your Lifo
A way.
If you want to quit tobacco using easily
nnd forovor. ho in ado well, strong, magnetic1,
full of now ilfo and vigor, take No-To-Bac,
tho wondor-workcr llmt makes weak moa
strong, Many gain ton pounds In ten days.
Ovor 400,000 cured. Buy No-To-Bac from
your own druggist, who will gmirantco n
curo. Booklet ami sample mailed free. Ad.
Sterling Remedy Co., Chicago or New York.
Do what you can do well, nnd you will
roou bo ablo to do much hotter. Ram's
Horn.
i
Fits stopped frco nnd permanently cured.
No fits after first day's uso of Dr. Kllno's
Croat Nervo Restorer. Frco W trial hottlo &
treatise. Du. Ku.nk, IU3 Arch BU.rhila., Pa.
O.Nn thing a woman can't do Is to drive a
howo and uso a muff at tho sunfo tlmo.
Washington (la.) Democrat.
Don't snap In two. Limber up. St. Ja
cobs Oil will curo lumbago sure.
Evr.ttYON'K has a fair turn to bo as great
as ho pleases. Jeremy Collier.
Suddkn weather changes bring rheuma
tism. St. Jucobs OU uiultcs prompt cure.
Sknsu shines with u doublo lustor when
sot in humility. l'enu.
I csn PIbo'b Curo for Consumption both in
my family and practice. Dit. O. W. Pat-TEKSON-,
Iukstcr, Mich., Nov. 5, 1891.
Kixdnhss is wisdom; thoro is nono in lifo
hut needs it, and may learn. Bulloy.
Put a pain to Bleep 1 St. Jacob's Oil docs
this with Bcinllea, Torment curo.
Why have more
ESTEY
Organs been sold thanfc
any other kind? Because,
although higher in price,
the Estey gives far better
value than any other.
Write for Illustrated Catalogue with prices,
to Estey Orcan Company, Urattlcboro, VU
OPIUMS-DRUNKENNESS
BIiCur-1li10toBOloT. No far till
Cured. DR. J.L.STEPHENS, M'Ji AN ON, timet
YMINfl MRU LKAIIN T l(rrphy nd lUtlroM
IUUI1U mtn AKnU' Iluilnou her, and ecur
tood iltuaUons. Wrttt J. D. 11HOWN, Sed&Ua, Mo
yU6flTnN. KINO OF GUMS.
CURES WHIHf AIL USE FAILS.
Boat Cough Byrup. TMtca Good. Ubo I
in tlmo. tioltl tiy nrutraiet.
A. N. K.-D.
1635
wiiex vrmxiNo to aiivkktihrrs
pleuac atiito Ihnt you itw (he advertise
me nt In till uauor.
ths
mi
Mo.. Doo. 15. ASN
3 4) 4 40 WW
3 15 a 3 8j asx
CM 2 75 ((((Sg)))
3 03 3 40 Naff
2 to OS 70 pS
o n.i Ms)n
. 70 It . rsv, V xs, ?. .
i. -- -Br -- iuvv'viimvV-Hmiw-yiii1 uwjj' mwjjit ui
m ism c'vjvv'
32 33M
o Aft e o Kf
, iu u " a a 1 9 9 9 $ 9 9 1 I M 9 9 t I 8 9
... 8 50 o oo ,i BrroSS 1r rtt."'-jay!f-5wyv Tf
18 20 ePioEoBl
o An n A in rmtBvWWmH . LKJOrnnLVil
3 to 3 oo (MXL4x&JmEm3i
3 oo 3 37 ' ; fffltwivTavSl
2 ao 3 85 MaKtl'yr- htJKAipSa
3 03 3 10 u ffaPyP F'WWSfJ
oo oi n 3BHf', mzE2&w
si 21H ' skSSi VwEVffvRf
20 21ft ;; HE.'iTI . XWiilWVar7
18 25H " MfA N. JffllftlSl
3 0380 wWtkvltoTffiMmm
7 io 7 40 fifiSsBmWi Wff
3 70 4 70 JmkiW V i illrMk
3 03 3 40 ' WMZ i I Iw
4 00 4 Oi itWg 8 i-ImI
sour it oMi M SXr9tWWWW
8JHJ& 23' ;; ,3PPvTO'
17iC0 IB n JW
E0H 40 " an '
13 23 Mini
3 80 3 8JH
0 87Ji 0 00 lmtAxn
4 10 4 so 9wwmmBm
3 40 3 85 , AWmEmr w
3 73 0 4 15 WwXW& fifeT?
20 20H WBmmK&w ue
13 23 mw&mm& mi
8 23 873. wiJiJfflWrjmxrSBSttdmiiiixh
msmoL
ff
(V5S'A rs,:i
mn mm
I BBC rHLBBlC mi
d
m - - - .--. mm,
um barsaparma.
That's Aver'n. Tho narao old sarsapnrllla ns it wns
matlo and sold CO years ago. In tho laboratory it is
different. Thcro modern appllancos lend sneed to skill
nnd exporionco. But tho aarsaparilla is tno samo old
sarsnpnrilla that mado tho record 60 yearn of cures,
"Why don't wo better it? Well, woYro much in tho
condition of tho Disbop nnd tho raspberry: "Doubt
less," ho said, " God might havo motto a better berry.
But doubtless, also. Ho nover did." Why don't wo
better tho sarsaparilla ? Wo can't. Wo nro usinp tio
same old ylant that cured tho Indians nnd tno
Spaniards. It Jms not been bottered. And sinco wo
mako sarsaparilla compound out of sarsaparffla plant,
tvo sco no way of improvement. Of course, if wo woro
making somo secret chemical compound, wo might....
But wo'ro not. Wo'ro making tho samo old sarsaparilla
to curo tho samo old diseases. You can tell it's tho
same old sarsaparilla becauso it works tho samo
old cares. It's tho sovereign blood puriiler, nnd
it's Aycr's,
TVyAS it your own babv or voor ncichbor's
A that drove sweet sleep away? It's all tm- Z
iicuury vascarcis vanoy vatnariiCy
sweet to the taste, mild but effective, stop sour
stomach and colic in babies, and make papa's
liver lively, tone his intestines and purify his
blood.
5 CASCARETS ?jTY
They perfume the breath and make tilings all right all '
around. At your druggist's J0c 25c, 50c, or mailed 1 !
for price. Address
QTCRLINQ 11CMCDY COMPANY, OltlOAQO on NEW YORK.
TANDY
SJkkfcOW CATHARTIC
TMOIUAJUL.
CURB CONSTIPATION.
Women. I
Alas ! women do '
sutler, why. we ..
often cannot tcu,but ::
we know there is ;
one great cause, and ; ;
that is weakness, :'
The headaches, the : '.
depressed feelings, the pains, the ;;
discouragements, indeed, almost ;;
all the misery has a common
cause weakness. At such times '. '.
a woman always needs a friend : :
that can be relied upon, and such : ;
a friend, for more than twenty ;;
years, lias- been that greatest of all
t remedies,
;; By its purity and its power it
;; furnishes a prompt relief for
women in their hours of need,
'.' and if the grateful expressions
: ; which come up from the homes
: of the land about what SAFE
; CURE has done were printed,
; they would fill volumes. If you,
reaacr, arc a suucjcj, urn yuu
not take hope from this sug
gestion? Large bottle, or new ttylt, miller one, at your
unigtfiiu.
tf'V4-MMMMm-H'K
Madame Lihian Nordica,
who has written n prnctloal article,
"How to Train tho Volae," for Tho
Companion for IU07.
tiny Tub Companion offers ils readers many
exceptionally brilliant features. The two
hemispheres' have been explored in search
of attractive matter.
Tkeuths
(ompanion
In addition to the 25 slaff writers Tub
Companion Contributors number fully 200 of
the most famous men and women of both
continents, including the most popular writers
of fiction and some of the most eminent
statesmen, scientists, travellers and musicians.
$? I
for the QXbole family
Tub Companion also announces for 1897, Four Absorbing Serials,
Adventure Stories on Land and Sea, Stories for Boys, Stories for Girls,
Reporters' Stories, Doctors' Stories, Lawyers' Stories, Stories for Every
bodynil profusely illustrated by popular artists. Six Double Holiday
Numbers. More than two thousand Articles of Miscellany Anecdote,
Humor, Travel. Timely Editorials, "Current Events," "Current Topics"
and "Nature and Science" Departments every week, etc.
One of the most beautiful CALENDARS issued this year
will be given to each New Subscriber to The Companion.
It Is inn ilc up of Pour Chariulnp rlctures In color, 1enutlfully executed.
It size i 10 by 24 Inches. The subjects arc delightfully attractive. This
Calendar Is published exclusively by This Youth's Comi-anion ami could not
be sold in Art Stores (or less than Ono Dollar.
Subscription Price of The Companion $1.75 a Year.
12-Color
Calendar
FREE.
Mw Batiicrltxri who will cut ont this slip and find It tt ones
with mmt nnd fccldrou and $1.70 will rvcilre:
raEE Tli Yo'ith'i Ccnpknlon vry week tram the tine
oabierlptlon U rtcelved till Jinnix? 1, 1897;
TREE Chrlitran, Hw Ytir'i and Enur DocbU Numbtri;
TB.Zt Tb Companion', 4-pe Calmdir for 1AD7, a beiuti.
folly eolcred lourenlr, Tea inoit cottly lrt of 1U kind
Th Companion hu Tr oRtrsd is
AadTnt Coispulon FUt.two WmIi, fall year, to Jaa. 1.153S.
The Youth's Companion, 20 J Columbus Ave., Boston, Mass.