SEW'M
An Angel Strayed
From Heaven
Gene Byrnes Saya:-1 "Hcre'o the Music Write Your Own Words,"
Br WILLIAM FALL.
(&), lll. W.tr Niwiiiapor lnyn )
Uforga (')iHptn was reading a letter
from Ids married sister when lie snt In
Lis buchelor nimrttnent, and lie
cratclied his hi-iid In evident perplex
THE ALLIANCE HERALD. TUESDAY. JUNE 7, 1921
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CLASSIFIED
ADVERTISEMENTS
Want U buy something? Hun
dreds of people scan these Want
Ad columns looking' for what you
r others have to offer. Get quick
results by advertising In The
Herald Want Ad department.
RATES One cent per word per
Insertion. Costs no more than
ether newspapers and we guar
antee that you reach several hun
dred more readers. Buy circula
tion, not hot air.
WANTED
WANTED Men and Women who are
after a steady job, part or all time.
New household invention, biff demand.
Write Bemco Products Co., Roll a, Mo.
55p
WANTED To hear from owner of
good farm for sale. State- cash
rice, full particulars. D. F. Bush,
inneapolis, M'nn. 58p
CASH PAID for Veal Calves, Poultry
and Eggs. Sanitary Market. fi2tf
WANT TO HEAR direct from owner
who has land for sale! Give full
description, price and terms in first
letter. M. A. Larson & Co., Central
City. Neb. 54-53
FOR RENT
FOR RENT Sleeping room in an all
modern home. Close in. Call ' at
324 West Third or phone 343-W.. tf
FOR SALE
FOR SALE Rodgers Rooms. Will
sell at sacrifice for quick sale. Call
or phone 716. 55-5(5
FOR SALE Five milch cows, one
mile east of Alliance. II. Koester.
54-55p
FOR SALE OR TRADE Three h. p.
gasoline engine. Phone 131, Palace
Market. 54-57
FOR SALE OR TRADE One full
blood Shorthorn bull coming three
year old, for a yearling bull. August
Kohrman, phone 810F22. 54tf
FOR SALE Two room -house with
garage; corner lot, $900. Four room
house, $2,000. Belmont Addition. Bar
gains in city DroDerty. See Nebraska
Land Co. ' 46tf
FOR SALE Good used cars. A. JL
JONES Co.. 3rd and Cheyenne, tf
REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS
Filed for week ending June 4, 1921:
The Alliance Building & Loan Asso
ciation to Alvina Anderson, lot 8, block
14, Wyoming addition, $2,500.00.
F. M. Knieht. unmarried, to F. A
Lape, lot 4, block 23, Box Butte addi-
tion. $550.00. .
Alice A. Anderson, unmarried, to
Albon B. Hall, lot 4,. block 1, Second
Countv Addition. $0,000.00.
Grace T. Miller to John Hasbow,
lot 2, block 7, First Addition, $1,500.
Frances H. Pardee et ,al, to John A.
Keegan, part of lot 14, block 9, Alli
ftwe, $1.00.
' Thos. E. Miskimen and wife to John
Dieter and J. A. Dankey, NE',4 of sec
35-20-49, $42,000.
QUANTITY
"Which i rnnre to be desired, quan
tity or quality?"
. "Quantity." -
' "Can .a thinV of anything that
conveys that idea?"
"Being kissed by a. hippopotamus.'
Youngstown, Telegram.
THE AMATEUR UNBELIEVER
The census-taker had asked many
questions and Mike was tired of an
swering them.
. "And what is your religious belief?"
the suave census man continued.
"God forgive me, but I'm an athe
ist." said Mike. Evei body's.
M. . . L La V.
10 revive UO ancient JUkC, iauicm.
as secretary of the navy, abolished
"starboard and larboard and side
board." Denby can restore only the
first two. '
Some keople keep themselves poor
spending money to keep others from
finding out Uiai mey ere jwur.
COMMENT & DISCOMMENT
They're having quite a row in Uni
versity of Nebraska circles, due to the
Cornhusker, the annual student publi
cation. This- happens every year or
so, and furnishes a topic of conversa
tion for sewing circles and near-beer
saloons. This time the fracas is occa
sioned by a so-called "Student Life"
.ection, which contains a number of
usque joKes ami reierences to things
it MhIIhh ""10U earnest
ilinded students and mofs think have
.10 place in a school annual. Thi thincr
that has raised the largest roar, how-1 1
ever, is a number of snapshots of
I my gir'3 in nlSnties and(And even if they did, the most of us
You can imagine, of course, that this
sort of thing would light like a bomb-
sneu in me midst of Lincoln, the city
that contains more reforms and purity
leaguers to the block than any other
in the world, bar none, as Jimmy Fink
would say. Let's see, it was only
twelve years ago, in the days when
we were interested in the publication
date of the Cornhusker, that the last
big row over that book took place. The
illustrations that were considered so
frightfully shocking at that time
would appear rather tame, judged by
present nay standards, then the
chancellor the same one who now is
permitting himself to be interviewed
by reporters called in all the books.
We were chump enough to obey the
mandate, but our roommate got out of
it by saying that he had already
mailed his to" an aged relative" in tome
far-off clime. Sometimes, when we
have to think rel fast, we don't.
We haven't seen a conv of the 1021
Cornhusker, and now that all this fuss
has been raised, well probably never
have a chance. It's Diobablv rjrettv
raw. Mo.st student publications are
raw, in one way or another. When
editors are selected because of then
popularity with the student body,
rather than because they are qualified
ior the job, it is bound to result in a
poorer book.
But, no matter what' the editors
have done, it hardly justifies.the loud
wails of the reform element, who begin
spouung about ideals and other things
like that, as though they were in the
senior class in some high school. Ideals
ere fine things to possess, and most of
use have one or two tucked away,
though they are probably rusty from
disuse. That's one beauty about ideals
it's possible to change them.
We hardly think there is any grave
danger of the University of Nebraska
reaiiy suffering a loss of respect on
the part of the public because two or
three half-baked youths put in a few
jokes or pictures that are not approved
by everybody. Senses of humor vary
considerably, and what may seem ex
cruciatingly funny to one may not ap
peal to someone else. As to the pa
jama pictures that's all in the imag
ination. It isn't considered at all out
of the way to publish pictures of bath
ing beauties some of our best publi
cations do it, and the movies are' full
of them. Actually, pajamas are just
as much clothing as bathing suits. Un
doubtedly the girls whose pictures ap
pear areiferfully mortified and humil
iated, but if they didn't want anyone
to see the pictures, they weren't forced
to permit them to be taken. Student
lite is wild, of course, but we never
heard of any girl or boy student being
huleH bed and forced to po.-e
lor a flashlight.
Perhans the worst feature about the
whole thing is that while the Corn
husker "Student Life" section may not
reflect student life or student ideals,
it does reflect public taste. If you
don't believe it, just look over almost
any newspaper or magazine, with the
possible exception' of the Christian
Advocate and one or two others in it
class, and you'll find the joke section is
quite similar to that of this years
cornhusker. 1'eopie laugn at uinerent
iokes than they did fifty years ago.
Don't be fooled too much with the old
saying that a good joke never dies.
All you have to do is to turn to old
coDies of Harper's Weekly and read
one or two that'll be all you'll want
to read of the jokes in it. lhey al
ways refer to some person in high life
nothing less than an archbishop, will
do and they have a stately measure
that will bore you to tears.
v-vT-Aayp. Iokes are about Mr. Vol.
stead, home brew, chorus girls, moth
ers-in-law, married life and a totally
different class of subjects. 'Now, know
ing what these young university edi
tors have been reading in their favor
ite newspaper and magazines during
their entire school career, - can you
blame them for making the joke sec
tion of their annual along i similar
lines. University annuals have to sell,
just as do magazines, and while they
may not reflect ideals, they do reflect
the preference.? of their readers, The
popuiar notion 0f humor is to joke
bout popular topics for joking. The
v, ,ft.
i a.
he )emrtn of dreSses. Ideals don't
,. hi.. ,i vaith thi rmeKtinn.
keeD our ideals wrapped up in tissue
paper a good share of the time, drag
ging them out only when we want to
make an impression.
A PSYCHIC PROBLEM
Two powerful colored stevedores,
who had had some sort of falling out,
were engaged in unloading a vessel
at a St. Louis dock. Uncomplimentary
remarks and warnings of intended
violence were exchanged whenever the
two passed each other with thefr
trucks.
"You lert keen on pesticatin around
wid me," declared one of the men, "an' S
you i3 gwine be able to settle a mirhty
big question for de sciumtific folks!"
"What question dat?" asked the
other.
"Kin de dead speak!" Harper's.
HOSTILITY
In the casual camp at St. Aijrnan
one outfit of colored Yanks was used
exclusively in the pick and shovel
brigade. Hence the following conver
sat;on at mess:
"Man, what yo'-all doin' eatin' bean
soup wid a fawk?"
"Big boy, Ah hates mah rhovel ?o
bad Ah done throwed away mah
spoon." American Legion Weekly.
ANTICIPATED JUDGMENT
The Father (to h?s young hopeful):
Far be it from me to say you are a
darn, fool, but if anybody else said bo
I d be the first to believe it Kasper
(Stockholm).
Manufacturers say that there has
been a marked falling off in the de
mand for baby carriages. It isn't the
initial cost so much a3 the upkeep.
imp u lut u
The ability of our undertaking organization is a guar
antee of the efficient manner in which we serve our clients.
We furnish funerals that are distinctive, modern and beau-"
tiful in every respect. Every detail of the service is con
scientiously planned and supervised by 'an experienced ex-(
pert.
Glen Miller
UNDERTAKING PARLORS
Phones: Day, 311
Night, 522 or 535
REAL ESTATE
Pax Butte County Farms and R&nc&es
Alliance City Property 7
NEBRASKA LAND CO.
J. C McCORKLE, Manager
Office Gnmad Fbcr Fin t NitlanaJ
MWWAVWiVAWiWAV;
Maple
I
I Corn
9?
A DAINTY
POP CORN
CONFECTION
Try a package today.
jjj The children will like
? it and the grown-
jj: ups will eat their 4
share. J
i
; The Taste of
MAPLE
LINGERS WITH YOU.
It is something different
absolutely wholesome san
itary wrapping.
t
AT ALL PROMINENT
CANDY COUNTERS.
Dealers Interested
Should Write to
W. It. McCroskey
ANGORA, NEBR.
tVJW-WsWAVJWWW
123 West
Third Street
MM.
Advertising is a great thing. But
no undertaker should talk shop when
he calls on a sick friend.
F. A. BALD
Attorncy-at-Law
Office in Reddish Block
K. of C. COUNCIL No. 975
Meets 2d and 4th Tuesday of each
month, at
311 Box Butte Avenue Upstaira
PHYSICIAN and SURGEON
DR. EINAR BLAK
OFFICE IN MALLERY BLOCK
Office 104 Phone Residence 10
DR. A. CLARENCE SCIIOCB
GeneraT Surgeon
Rumer Bids;., Alliance, Neb.
Office Phone 187 Res. Phone, Blk. 12,
Let Me Cry Your Sale
R. A. WYLAND
Auctioneer 1232 Missouri
Telephone 884
L. A. RERRY
ROOM 1. RUMER BLOCK
PHONE 9
ALLIANCE, NEBRASKA
Drake & Drake
fyctora of Optometry
Glasses Accurately Fitted
Not Medicine, Surgery, Osteopath;
DRS. JEFFREY & SMITH
Chirooractors Palmer School
Telephone 865 Wilson Buildint
Real Estate, Loans and
Insurance
F. E. REDDISH
Reddish Block
Phone 664 Alliae
Harry P. Coursey
AUCTIONEER
Lire Stock and General Farm Sal
PHONES: RES. NO. 1C3
OFFICE NO. 1.
Transfer and
Storage
Successors to Wallace Trans
fer and Storage Company
PIANO MOVING BY AUTO
TRUCK
PACKING AND CRATING
FURNITUE A SPECIALTY
Howard jk Allen
"W Try Hard to Plea"
Have it
WELDED
Wit tu
OXT-ACETTLENE rXOCESJ
Cylinder Blocks, PimaMC aavl
Trtjumlaaioa Cam a Spdafiy
ALL TRACTOR PARTI
Geo. H. Breckner
JUv Ucatfe-13 Vl U O
"My ilenr Ueorire," Ids sister wrote,
e are in great trouble about Walter. ,
He tins litnl a terrible, qunrfel with
Ida fattier about some dreadful actress
whom lie miys lie Is enpuri-d to he
married to, and Philip you know how
hiiRty lie Is htil ordered bin) out of
the houne. You know Walter may ex
Ht to Inherit a comfortable fortune,
and It Is natural , that Hits womnn,
Linda Maimers, as she rulU herself,
thouM' want to get her fingers, on It.
Now, llenrge, you we a man of forty
live, nnd of rlp exjierlence. She lives
In your town. Can't you Ret to her nnd
find out whether a sufficient Induce
ment would persuade her to leave
Wnlter alortet And don't forget to
tell her that If she innrrles Walter he
won't get n penny of his father's for
tune." There wss a tap at the door and, aa
Ueorge Cluipln put the letter aside, a '
young man entered. He wns a good
looking boy, In his eurly twenties, and
(leorge. wns uncommonly proud of him.
"Hello, Walter," he "aid, rising and
offering his . hnnd. Sit down. So
you've been getting Into another
scrape, eh?"
"Please don't allude to my fiancee,
Miss Manners, as a scrape, Uncle
George," replied the young man with
dignity.
"Well, Walter, we won't quarrel
over words. But do you renllze that
you are up agulnst a serious predica
ment? How ore you going to earn a
living If your father disinherits you?"
"Uncle," said the young man Inipres-
Ively, "If once you saw Linda Miss
Manners I think you'd agree with me
that she's worth ; sacrificing any,
amount of money, for."
"Well, where Is she T his uncle
asked. ' .
"At the Lyric theater," answered
his nephew. "Say, uncle, what ula
mother write you?"
"She wrote me that oh, the devil, ,
Walter, I'm no hand at Intrigue.
Read It," suld his uncle, thrusting the
letter Into the other's hands.
Walter Hampton read It nnd re
turned It with a grin. "I can forgive
the suggestion," he wild, "because I
know mother means well. She's Just
hasty, that's all."
George Oinpln smiled a little sadly.
"My dear nephew," suld the .other.
"you're going up to Esconibe on that
fishing trip you wrote me about, and
you're going to be gone three days,
and you will neither see nor communi
cate with your Inamorata until the
time is past. Otherwise I wash my
hands of the affair."
Consefiuently it was without ferloua
misgivings that Walter Hampton
went off hi his fishing trip, nnd though .
the time dr.gged wearily, he returned
to town eager to hear his fluncee'sj
praises from his uncle's lips. ,
His first surprise was when theiloof
of the spacious apartment was opened
by a maid a new 'maid in cap and
apron, who looked at hlin Inquiringly,
as though he had no business there.
"My uncle Mr. Chupln. Is he at
home?" asked Walter.
The maid hesitated. "Yes, sir." she
said at length, "but Mrs. tnapin
doesn't receive visitors "
"Mrs. Chupln t" exclaimed the young
man. "Who Is she?"
"Haven't you heard of Mr. Chapln'a
marriage, sirr simiertHi me maiu. k
twlleve It was very sudden, sir."
Walter puxlu'd past her. ran along
the hall, and hmke Jnto the reception
room without ceremony. A woman
rose from a chalr Linda I
Walter did not see the llhrary door
open, lie rushed toward her. "Linda l"
he cried. "You here? You? What doeg
this mean? You're married to my
uncle?"
The elder man bad come softly up -and
placed a hand on his shoulder.
George Chapln was smlllnx; his neph
ed wus purple with fury, lie flung
himself urnm his uncle, striking out ,
wildly with his fists, and they ,fourIt
all over the room, till finally the other
got him down, pressed his face Into
the sofa pillows, twisted his arms, and
sat on him. ' t
"Linda, my dear, come here," h
said. "Shall I tell this young Idiot the
tmth, or will you?"
The Klrl, who had retreated in fear
to the farther - corner of the room,
new came forward. There were tears
In her eyes, hut a smile played ahout
her mouth. "You tell him," he said. ,
"Then listen," said Oorjre Chapln.
"Alice Manners now Mrs. Ocorge Cha
pln Is an old friend who had passed
out of my life for years. We had a
lowers' quarrel lone a?o. That's why
I've never married. When 1 found
her again I took her right around
to the1 city hall and got a license to
marry her, and then rushed her. to a
minister.. That was two diiys ago. J
wasn't taking any more chances. Un
derstand that, lunatic? And from the
way your father and I mauled each
other when we were hoys, to see who
should propose to Alice that Is, my
wife I guess he won't have any more
objections to your jnarrylng Miss
Linda, her daughter."
Pasting It Around.
The Smitten Swain Love me 'and
the world Is mine!
The Baby Vamp Fine! Lore xue
and HI get tt away from yoo.
