SEW'M An Angel Strayed From Heaven Gene Byrnes Saya:-1 "Hcre'o the Music Write Your Own Words," Br WILLIAM FALL. (&), lll. W.tr Niwiiiapor lnyn ) Uforga (')iHptn was reading a letter from Ids married sister when lie snt In Lis buchelor nimrttnent, and lie cratclied his hi-iid In evident perplex THE ALLIANCE HERALD. TUESDAY. JUNE 7, 1921 ity. franu ; , h: , -y p - - " ' 1 : ' . . 1 i CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS Want U buy something? Hun dreds of people scan these Want Ad columns looking' for what you r others have to offer. Get quick results by advertising In The Herald Want Ad department. RATES One cent per word per Insertion. Costs no more than ether newspapers and we guar antee that you reach several hun dred more readers. Buy circula tion, not hot air. WANTED WANTED Men and Women who are after a steady job, part or all time. New household invention, biff demand. Write Bemco Products Co., Roll a, Mo. 55p WANTED To hear from owner of good farm for sale. State- cash rice, full particulars. D. F. Bush, inneapolis, M'nn. 58p CASH PAID for Veal Calves, Poultry and Eggs. Sanitary Market. fi2tf WANT TO HEAR direct from owner who has land for sale! Give full description, price and terms in first letter. M. A. Larson & Co., Central City. Neb. 54-53 FOR RENT FOR RENT Sleeping room in an all modern home. Close in. Call ' at 324 West Third or phone 343-W.. tf FOR SALE FOR SALE Rodgers Rooms. Will sell at sacrifice for quick sale. Call or phone 716. 55-5(5 FOR SALE Five milch cows, one mile east of Alliance. II. Koester. 54-55p FOR SALE OR TRADE Three h. p. gasoline engine. Phone 131, Palace Market. 54-57 FOR SALE OR TRADE One full blood Shorthorn bull coming three year old, for a yearling bull. August Kohrman, phone 810F22. 54tf FOR SALE Two room -house with garage; corner lot, $900. Four room house, $2,000. Belmont Addition. Bar gains in city DroDerty. See Nebraska Land Co. ' 46tf FOR SALE Good used cars. A. JL JONES Co.. 3rd and Cheyenne, tf REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS Filed for week ending June 4, 1921: The Alliance Building & Loan Asso ciation to Alvina Anderson, lot 8, block 14, Wyoming addition, $2,500.00. F. M. Knieht. unmarried, to F. A Lape, lot 4, block 23, Box Butte addi- tion. $550.00. . Alice A. Anderson, unmarried, to Albon B. Hall, lot 4,. block 1, Second Countv Addition. $0,000.00. Grace T. Miller to John Hasbow, lot 2, block 7, First Addition, $1,500. Frances H. Pardee et ,al, to John A. Keegan, part of lot 14, block 9, Alli ftwe, $1.00. ' Thos. E. Miskimen and wife to John Dieter and J. A. Dankey, NE',4 of sec 35-20-49, $42,000. QUANTITY "Which i rnnre to be desired, quan tity or quality?" . "Quantity." - ' "Can .a thinV of anything that conveys that idea?" "Being kissed by a. hippopotamus.' Youngstown, Telegram. THE AMATEUR UNBELIEVER The census-taker had asked many questions and Mike was tired of an swering them. . "And what is your religious belief?" the suave census man continued. "God forgive me, but I'm an athe ist." said Mike. Evei body's. M. . . L La V. 10 revive UO ancient JUkC, iauicm. as secretary of the navy, abolished "starboard and larboard and side board." Denby can restore only the first two. ' Some keople keep themselves poor spending money to keep others from finding out Uiai mey ere jwur. COMMENT & DISCOMMENT They're having quite a row in Uni versity of Nebraska circles, due to the Cornhusker, the annual student publi cation. This- happens every year or so, and furnishes a topic of conversa tion for sewing circles and near-beer saloons. This time the fracas is occa sioned by a so-called "Student Life" .ection, which contains a number of usque joKes ami reierences to things it MhIIhh ""10U earnest ilinded students and mofs think have .10 place in a school annual. Thi thincr that has raised the largest roar, how-1 1 ever, is a number of snapshots of I my gir'3 in nlSnties and(And even if they did, the most of us You can imagine, of course, that this sort of thing would light like a bomb- sneu in me midst of Lincoln, the city that contains more reforms and purity leaguers to the block than any other in the world, bar none, as Jimmy Fink would say. Let's see, it was only twelve years ago, in the days when we were interested in the publication date of the Cornhusker, that the last big row over that book took place. The illustrations that were considered so frightfully shocking at that time would appear rather tame, judged by present nay standards, then the chancellor the same one who now is permitting himself to be interviewed by reporters called in all the books. We were chump enough to obey the mandate, but our roommate got out of it by saying that he had already mailed his to" an aged relative" in tome far-off clime. Sometimes, when we have to think rel fast, we don't. We haven't seen a conv of the 1021 Cornhusker, and now that all this fuss has been raised, well probably never have a chance. It's Diobablv rjrettv raw. Mo.st student publications are raw, in one way or another. When editors are selected because of then popularity with the student body, rather than because they are qualified ior the job, it is bound to result in a poorer book. But, no matter what' the editors have done, it hardly justifies.the loud wails of the reform element, who begin spouung about ideals and other things like that, as though they were in the senior class in some high school. Ideals ere fine things to possess, and most of use have one or two tucked away, though they are probably rusty from disuse. That's one beauty about ideals it's possible to change them. We hardly think there is any grave danger of the University of Nebraska reaiiy suffering a loss of respect on the part of the public because two or three half-baked youths put in a few jokes or pictures that are not approved by everybody. Senses of humor vary considerably, and what may seem ex cruciatingly funny to one may not ap peal to someone else. As to the pa jama pictures that's all in the imag ination. It isn't considered at all out of the way to publish pictures of bath ing beauties some of our best publi cations do it, and the movies are' full of them. Actually, pajamas are just as much clothing as bathing suits. Un doubtedly the girls whose pictures ap pear areiferfully mortified and humil iated, but if they didn't want anyone to see the pictures, they weren't forced to permit them to be taken. Student lite is wild, of course, but we never heard of any girl or boy student being huleH bed and forced to po.-e lor a flashlight. Perhans the worst feature about the whole thing is that while the Corn husker "Student Life" section may not reflect student life or student ideals, it does reflect public taste. If you don't believe it, just look over almost any newspaper or magazine, with the possible exception' of the Christian Advocate and one or two others in it class, and you'll find the joke section is quite similar to that of this years cornhusker. 1'eopie laugn at uinerent iokes than they did fifty years ago. Don't be fooled too much with the old saying that a good joke never dies. All you have to do is to turn to old coDies of Harper's Weekly and read one or two that'll be all you'll want to read of the jokes in it. lhey al ways refer to some person in high life nothing less than an archbishop, will do and they have a stately measure that will bore you to tears. v-vT-Aayp. Iokes are about Mr. Vol. stead, home brew, chorus girls, moth ers-in-law, married life and a totally different class of subjects. 'Now, know ing what these young university edi tors have been reading in their favor ite newspaper and magazines during their entire school career, - can you blame them for making the joke sec tion of their annual along i similar lines. University annuals have to sell, just as do magazines, and while they may not reflect ideals, they do reflect the preference.? of their readers, The popuiar notion 0f humor is to joke bout popular topics for joking. The v, ,ft. i a. he )emrtn of dreSses. Ideals don't ,. hi.. ,i vaith thi rmeKtinn. keeD our ideals wrapped up in tissue paper a good share of the time, drag ging them out only when we want to make an impression. A PSYCHIC PROBLEM Two powerful colored stevedores, who had had some sort of falling out, were engaged in unloading a vessel at a St. Louis dock. Uncomplimentary remarks and warnings of intended violence were exchanged whenever the two passed each other with thefr trucks. "You lert keen on pesticatin around wid me," declared one of the men, "an' S you i3 gwine be able to settle a mirhty big question for de sciumtific folks!" "What question dat?" asked the other. "Kin de dead speak!" Harper's. HOSTILITY In the casual camp at St. Aijrnan one outfit of colored Yanks was used exclusively in the pick and shovel brigade. Hence the following conver sat;on at mess: "Man, what yo'-all doin' eatin' bean soup wid a fawk?" "Big boy, Ah hates mah rhovel ?o bad Ah done throwed away mah spoon." American Legion Weekly. ANTICIPATED JUDGMENT The Father (to h?s young hopeful): Far be it from me to say you are a darn, fool, but if anybody else said bo I d be the first to believe it Kasper (Stockholm). Manufacturers say that there has been a marked falling off in the de mand for baby carriages. It isn't the initial cost so much a3 the upkeep. imp u lut u The ability of our undertaking organization is a guar antee of the efficient manner in which we serve our clients. We furnish funerals that are distinctive, modern and beau-" tiful in every respect. Every detail of the service is con scientiously planned and supervised by 'an experienced ex-( pert. Glen Miller UNDERTAKING PARLORS Phones: Day, 311 Night, 522 or 535 REAL ESTATE Pax Butte County Farms and R&nc&es Alliance City Property 7 NEBRASKA LAND CO. J. C McCORKLE, Manager Office Gnmad Fbcr Fin t NitlanaJ MWWAVWiVAWiWAV; Maple I I Corn 9? A DAINTY POP CORN CONFECTION Try a package today. jjj The children will like ? it and the grown- jj: ups will eat their 4 share. J i ; The Taste of MAPLE LINGERS WITH YOU. It is something different absolutely wholesome san itary wrapping. t AT ALL PROMINENT CANDY COUNTERS. Dealers Interested Should Write to W. It. McCroskey ANGORA, NEBR. tVJW-WsWAVJWWW 123 West Third Street MM. Advertising is a great thing. But no undertaker should talk shop when he calls on a sick friend. F. A. BALD Attorncy-at-Law Office in Reddish Block K. of C. COUNCIL No. 975 Meets 2d and 4th Tuesday of each month, at 311 Box Butte Avenue Upstaira PHYSICIAN and SURGEON DR. EINAR BLAK OFFICE IN MALLERY BLOCK Office 104 Phone Residence 10 DR. A. CLARENCE SCIIOCB GeneraT Surgeon Rumer Bids;., Alliance, Neb. Office Phone 187 Res. Phone, Blk. 12, Let Me Cry Your Sale R. A. WYLAND Auctioneer 1232 Missouri Telephone 884 L. A. RERRY ROOM 1. RUMER BLOCK PHONE 9 ALLIANCE, NEBRASKA Drake & Drake fyctora of Optometry Glasses Accurately Fitted Not Medicine, Surgery, Osteopath; DRS. JEFFREY & SMITH Chirooractors Palmer School Telephone 865 Wilson Buildint Real Estate, Loans and Insurance F. E. REDDISH Reddish Block Phone 664 Alliae Harry P. Coursey AUCTIONEER Lire Stock and General Farm Sal PHONES: RES. NO. 1C3 OFFICE NO. 1. Transfer and Storage Successors to Wallace Trans fer and Storage Company PIANO MOVING BY AUTO TRUCK PACKING AND CRATING FURNITUE A SPECIALTY Howard jk Allen "W Try Hard to Plea" Have it WELDED Wit tu OXT-ACETTLENE rXOCESJ Cylinder Blocks, PimaMC aavl Trtjumlaaioa Cam a Spdafiy ALL TRACTOR PARTI Geo. H. Breckner JUv Ucatfe-13 Vl U O "My ilenr Ueorire," Ids sister wrote, e are in great trouble about Walter. , He tins litnl a terrible, qunrfel with Ida fattier about some dreadful actress whom lie miys lie Is enpuri-d to he married to, and Philip you know how hiiRty lie Is htil ordered bin) out of the houne. You know Walter may ex Ht to Inherit a comfortable fortune, and It Is natural , that Hits womnn, Linda Maimers, as she rulU herself, thouM' want to get her fingers, on It. Now, llenrge, you we a man of forty live, nnd of rlp exjierlence. She lives In your town. Can't you Ret to her nnd find out whether a sufficient Induce ment would persuade her to leave Wnlter alortet And don't forget to tell her that If she innrrles Walter he won't get n penny of his father's for tune." There wss a tap at the door and, aa Ueorge Cluipln put the letter aside, a ' young man entered. He wns a good looking boy, In his eurly twenties, and (leorge. wns uncommonly proud of him. "Hello, Walter," he "aid, rising and offering his . hnnd. Sit down. So you've been getting Into another scrape, eh?" "Please don't allude to my fiancee, Miss Manners, as a scrape, Uncle George," replied the young man with dignity. "Well, Walter, we won't quarrel over words. But do you renllze that you are up agulnst a serious predica ment? How ore you going to earn a living If your father disinherits you?" "Uncle," said the young man Inipres- Ively, "If once you saw Linda Miss Manners I think you'd agree with me that she's worth ; sacrificing any, amount of money, for." "Well, where Is she T his uncle asked. ' . "At the Lyric theater," answered his nephew. "Say, uncle, what ula mother write you?" "She wrote me that oh, the devil, , Walter, I'm no hand at Intrigue. Read It," suld his uncle, thrusting the letter Into the other's hands. Walter Hampton read It nnd re turned It with a grin. "I can forgive the suggestion," he wild, "because I know mother means well. She's Just hasty, that's all." George Oinpln smiled a little sadly. "My dear nephew," suld the .other. "you're going up to Esconibe on that fishing trip you wrote me about, and you're going to be gone three days, and you will neither see nor communi cate with your Inamorata until the time is past. Otherwise I wash my hands of the affair." Consefiuently it was without ferloua misgivings that Walter Hampton went off hi his fishing trip, nnd though . the time dr.gged wearily, he returned to town eager to hear his fluncee'sj praises from his uncle's lips. , His first surprise was when theiloof of the spacious apartment was opened by a maid a new 'maid in cap and apron, who looked at hlin Inquiringly, as though he had no business there. "My uncle Mr. Chupln. Is he at home?" asked Walter. The maid hesitated. "Yes, sir." she said at length, "but Mrs. tnapin doesn't receive visitors " "Mrs. Chupln t" exclaimed the young man. "Who Is she?" "Haven't you heard of Mr. Chapln'a marriage, sirr simiertHi me maiu. k twlleve It was very sudden, sir." Walter puxlu'd past her. ran along the hall, and hmke Jnto the reception room without ceremony. A woman rose from a chalr Linda I Walter did not see the llhrary door open, lie rushed toward her. "Linda l" he cried. "You here? You? What doeg this mean? You're married to my uncle?" The elder man bad come softly up -and placed a hand on his shoulder. George Chapln was smlllnx; his neph ed wus purple with fury, lie flung himself urnm his uncle, striking out , wildly with his fists, and they ,fourIt all over the room, till finally the other got him down, pressed his face Into the sofa pillows, twisted his arms, and sat on him. ' t "Linda, my dear, come here," h said. "Shall I tell this young Idiot the tmth, or will you?" The Klrl, who had retreated in fear to the farther - corner of the room, new came forward. There were tears In her eyes, hut a smile played ahout her mouth. "You tell him," he said. , "Then listen," said Oorjre Chapln. "Alice Manners now Mrs. Ocorge Cha pln Is an old friend who had passed out of my life for years. We had a lowers' quarrel lone a?o. That's why I've never married. When 1 found her again I took her right around to the1 city hall and got a license to marry her, and then rushed her. to a minister.. That was two diiys ago. J wasn't taking any more chances. Un derstand that, lunatic? And from the way your father and I mauled each other when we were hoys, to see who should propose to Alice that Is, my wife I guess he won't have any more objections to your jnarrylng Miss Linda, her daughter." Pasting It Around. The Smitten Swain Love me 'and the world Is mine! The Baby Vamp Fine! Lore xue and HI get tt away from yoo.