TIIE ALLIANCE HERALD, FRIDAY, AfRIL 23, 1920.
BILL NYE'S BOYHOOD
If I ere a boy again, endowed
with the same wild passion for
plucking watermelons In the dark of
the moon, I would no doubt fall a
victim to the overmastering passion
as I did before, but looking at It as
I do now, I would be wiser. Boys
cannot, however, have the mature
judgment of manhood without the
experience and rheumatism to go
with it. So it is better that in our
childhood we may be able to eat a
raw turnip with safety, and know
something later on In lifo. I notice a
great change In myself wWle com
paring my present condition with
that of joyous bojh'od. Then I had
no sense, but I had a good digestion.
Now I haven't even the digestion.
The hWrying years have cavorted
over my sunny head till they have
worn It smooth, but they have left a
good deal yet for me to learn. I am
still engaged in learning through the
day and putting arnica on my experi
ence at night.
Childhood Is said to be .the most
gladsome period of our lives, and In
some respects this statement may be
regarded as reliable, but It is not all
joy. I have had just as much fun
later years as I did In boyhood;
though the people with whom I have
been thrown In contact claim that
their experience has been different.
I hope they do not mean anything
personal by that.
I do sometimes wish that I could
be a boy again, but I smother that
wish on account of my parents.
"What they need most la rest and a
change of scene. They still enjoy
children, but they would liko a
chance to select the children with
whom they associate.
My parents were blest with five
bright-eyed and beautiful little boys,
three of whom grew up and by that
means became adults. I am In that
condition myself. I was the eldest of
the family with the exception of my
parents; I am still that way. My
life was rather tempestuous In
places, occasionally flecked with sun
shine, but more frequently with ret
ribution. I was not a very good
roadster when I was young, and so
retribution was most always in the
act of overtaking me. While out
raged justice was getting In Its work
on me, the other boys escaped
through an aperture In the fence.
This la another reason why I do
not yearn to be a boy again.
When we ran away from school to
catch chubs and when we built a fire
to cook them and the fire got Into
the tall, dry grass and burned four
miles of fence and sixteen tons of
hay for a gentleman for whom I bad
a high regard, and I went back to
put out the flro, the other boys es
caped and have so remained ever
since.
A just retribution has never li
any difficulty in overtaking me and
walking up and down over my wish
bone. Wh- n a party of us had been en
gaged In gathering Easter eggs In
the barn of a gentleman who was
away from home at the time, and ho
returned Just as we had filled our
pockets with the choicest vintage of
his sun-kissed hens, the other boys
escaped while I was occupying the
attention of the dog, and I had to
Blide out of the second story of the
barn. It is still fresh in my mind as
I write. I wore my father's vest at
the time, and It was larger than was
necessary. My father was larger
than I at that time for I was only
nine years of age and had not ar
rived at my full stature. In sliding
down the batten, I discovered that
the upper end of It was loose arid
that my flowing vest had slipped over
it, so that when I got down about
four feet I hung, with the board but
toned inside my bosom and scram
bled egg ooxlng out of my knicker
bockers. The batten had sprung back
against the barn In such a manner
as to prevent my unbuttoning my
vest, and while I hung there at the
side of the barn like a coon skin, the
proprietor came around and accused
me of prematurely gathering his
eggs.
I had heard truth very highly
spoken of by people who bad dabbled
in it more or less, and so I resolved
to try It in this Instance. So I ad
mitted that such was the case, and
it was the best thing I could have
done, for the man said as I had been
so frank with him he would take me
down as soon as he got his other
work done and he was as good as his
word. After he had milked nine
cows and fed nine calves he came
around with a ladder and took me
down. He also spanked me and set
his dog on me, but I did not mind
that, for I was accustomed to It. To
hang on the side of a barn, however,
like an autumn leaf, trying to kick
large holes In the atmosphere, Is
disagreeable.
This Incident cast a gloom over
my whole life. It has also recon
ciled me to the awful decree that I
can never be a boy again.
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Out of the half dozen cases filed
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EE
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