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About The Alliance herald. (Alliance, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1902-1922 | View Entire Issue (May 18, 1916)
Piano 1 200 S 430 Announcement Our direct Factorv-to-Home selling plan saves you the agent's and the dealer's profits, not less than $100 and upwards. Our 25-year guarantee, backed by our entire re sources of over $1,000,000 protects you after you have bought Our terms are as low as $5.00 per rnonth, or quar terly, semi-annually or annually if you desire. When you pay more for a piano than we ask, you pay for something we give you free. Write for our free illustrated catalog and special of fer to first buyers in your locality. It means Dollars to you. SCHMOLLER & MUELLER PlANO Co. 1311-13 Farnam Street Dept. A 133 Omaha, Neb. awful uffekinq. "I Buffered untold atony with neurmlfla, X thought X would co md with aln. A friend of ml no advlsod no to Uko Dr. If Hog Antl-Pmln Pills. X did to and Uo pala topped almost at onco. Then X oommoaeod twin Dr. MtW Nenrlno and o foro Ions I u so that X did not bar thoa pains any taoro," B. J. WINTBK, Ill K. Tlatto Aro., Colorado Spring, Colo. to 60 JU MSB hJ I ! a annnannBnnnannnnnBnaBMiKn a (1511 by taking the "grind" out of typewriting I S S A Mf t - . .... y wmue : r or nere at last is tne master machine that makes it easy for any stenog rapher to turn out more letters with less effort in the ordinary working day. The new Royal Master-Model "10" speeds up the day's work and sets the pace that pays! Built tor "Big Business" and its Great Army of Expert Operators These new features of the Royal add to the sensitive fingers of the typist, the one vital thing that the old-style typewriter subtracts speed! The speed with brains behind it the all-day speed of the expert typist in the day's work. Errorless speed is the kind of speed that counts. Commonsense nas punctured the illusion of the other kind. Get the Facts t Send for tho " Royal man" and aak for a DEMONSTRATION.' Or writ m direct for our bow bre chere, "Heifer rc, and book of facta oa TWA ' Typing . aont froa to ' tpowilvaf aaora. . $100 ROYAL TYPEWRITER COMPANY -318 South 19th St, Omaha, Nebr," a u Branches and Agencies the World Over B. J. YOUNO, Local Agent csmausHco iea Otiosi Piano House in thcWcst Player Pianos 3739&00 ! Close attention to work is the cause of much Pain and many Headaches. Obtain relief by ta'ung one or two I DR. MILES' ANTI-PAIN PILLS Then tone up the Nervous System by using Dr. Miles' Restorative Nervine IF FIRST BOTTLE, OR BOX. FAIL TO HELP YOU, YOUR MONEY WILL E REFUNDED. "SPEED UP!" minutes an hour $125 ,JUJ-f I, 11 11 i d ! uMiimiiiimmiiiiiiiiniiiniinniiniiingr I Lloyd's Column Definition of a (eiidcmnii Fred Uolsen .manager of the Atlas Tank Manufacturing Company, Oma ha branch ,1s sending out a card with the photo of a particularly attractive lady, with the following definition on the card: "A gentleman is one who knows he is alright and then foregts it." "There are no editors In hell," ob serves a Missouri editor. Of course not. That place Is already filled and overflowing with delinquent sub scribers. One Objection "Of course, I don't wish to put any obstacle In the way of you getting married," a mistress suld to her serv ant, "but I wish It were possible for you to postpone it until I get another maid." "Well, mum," Mary Ann replied. "I 'ardly think I know Mm well enough to arsk Mm to put It off." Mamma (bringing her little lec ture to an abrupt close as she was called from the room) "And all this trouble was caused by those bad thoughts in your heart." Jamie sat for a few minutes the picture of distress, for he was really very sensitive about being thought bad." Aunt Milly came In, and, being al ways solicitous about his health, ex claimed: "Why, Jamie, how bad you look!" This was too much, and Jamie burst into tears and sobbed out brok enly: "I I knew there w-w-was a b bad spot In m-my heart, b-b-but I didn't know It s-a-showed clear thru!" A Skowhegan young man wants to know what is the best thing to be done when a person sits down on a custard pie at a picnic. We would advise him to sit still until the rest have gone home, says a Quaker City editor. What He Wanted "The automobile that hit me Ave minutes ago was No. 41144 Ohio," he sputtered. "It knocked me un conscious, but I got the number be fore I went down for the count. Put it on a piece of paper 41144." "All right. What do you want?" "What do I want? Why, I can prove that he was exceeding the peed limit, and I want I want " "Calm down, friend. You want a warrant for his arrest?" "Warrant nothing! What good would a warrant. do me? He was cuing so fast, I tell you, that a war rant wouldn't get him now. What I want Is extradition papers!" Kxpluined It was a New York school teacher who received this message from a mother who was advised to punish her wayward son: "You lick him, teacher I ain't mad at him." It was a Cleveland teacher who wrote to the mother of a mischiev ous boy asking her assistance in mak ing the boy behave. This was the answer she received: "If you ain't able to control your school without assistance you better Kit another job. P. S. I ain't his mother I'm his step-mother." I Seasonable "Miss Edith." asked the young man, "may I ask you. ploaee, not to call me Mr. Durand?" "But," said Miss Edith, with great coyness, "our acquaintance is so short, you know. Why should I not call you that?" "Well," said the young man, "chiefly because my name is Du pont." She Tried Them Mrs. Allen's new servant came to her the morning after her arrival and said, "I'm goin' to leave yei, mum, today. I'll not stay any long er." "Going to leave!" cried Mrs. Al len, In amazement. "Why !n the world are you going to leave to soon?" "Well, mum," aald the girl, "when I came yesterday mornln' you gava me the keya to yer trunks nd draw, era and jewel caaea to kape fer yet." "Why. yea, ao I did." said the mis tress; "that showed that I trusted you. What Is the matter?" 'Well, yer see, mum," aald the servant, "they don't one of 'em fit.' Order by Phone "If a man does anything well the world will beat a path to his door.' "How about the fellow who raises skunks?." ....... A wet lknown business man recites this experience. He says: "I told my office boy one day that I would have to bave the morning to myself, and be must keep visitors out of my private room. 'I don't care what you tell them.' said I. 'Make up any story you like. Get fresh with them If they are too per sistent.' An hour or two later, as I afterward learned, a lady called and Insisted on seeing me. The boy as sured her it couldn't be done. 'But I must see him,' she said. 'I'm his wife. 'Aw!' was Jimmy's reply, 'that's what they all say!' Of course my wife went away good and mad. Well, no; the kid didn't lose hia job. I couldn't blame him. He was only obeying orders." "You ought to have seen Mr. Mar shall when he called upon Dolly the other night," remarked Johnny to1 his sister's young man, who was tak- Ing tea with the family. "I tell you ' he looked fine a-sltting there along-1 side of her with his arm " "Johnny!" gasped his sister, her face the color of a boiled lobster. "Well, so he did," persisted John ny. "He had his arm " "John!" screamed his mother frantically. "Why." whined the boy, "I was " "John." said his father sternly, "leave the room!" And Johnny left, crying as he went: "I was only going to say that he had his army clothes on!" HEAR WITHOUT, EARS Police and Detectives Are Using Lip Heading in Place of the Dictagraph Thousands of deaf people are today throwing away all hearing devices and enjoying all conversation. This method Is easily and quickly acquired thru our system. Absolutely the only thing of Its kind in the country. Our proposition is entirely original. We guarantee results, it will amaze you. Cost is trifling. See what New Inter national Encyclopaedia says on Lit Reading. Hundreds of people witt normal hearing are taking up Lip Reading for the many adldtional ben nflts gained. You can understand what the actors are saying In the moving pictures. You can under stand what people are saying Just a far away as you can see them. The eye understands beyond the range of hearing. Send no money, but men tion this paper and state whether or not you are deaf. All particulars will be sent you absolutely free and with no expense to you. Address, School of Lip Language, Kansas City, Missouri. PERU XOILMAL Professor Jean, who will take work toward his Master's Degree In the University of Nebraska next fall, has been granted a scholarship in botany. The girls of the Y. W. C. A. en tertained all the girls of the school at a kensington Friday afternoon. The girls regret that this is the last of these pleasant events for this year. W. K. Fowler of Lincoln was In Peru Friday in the Interest of sever al of our best educational magazines. Students who will teach next year were glad of this opportunity to ex amine these periodicals. Members of the Philomathean Lit erary Society enjoyed a camp fire meeting Saturday evening. The Philomatheans have been presenting some exceptionally good programs this year .but they also know bow to have a jolly good time together. Their next meeting is to be given ov er to a Shakespearean program. A beautiful hand-colored etching entitled "Abend Nach dem Gewitler" has been presented to the German department by the Fortnightly Art Club. This club has for several years been devoting the proceeds of its art exhibits to the purchase of works of art for the campus build ings, and many very choice pictures, pieces of pottery, etc., may now bs foud in may of the classrooms. The annual foray of the Botanical Semnlar of the State University was held In Peru last Saturday. On Fri day evening Dr. Pool delivered an illustrated lecture before the Science Club and others on "The Plant Life of Nebraska." On Saturday the party, which comprised four inspect ors from the University together with several students who are specializing in botany, made a field study of the flora of Peru and vicinity. They were accompanied by several Normal stud ents and other members of the Sci ence Club who were glad indeed of this opportunity to study plant life under the direction of Nebraska's greatest authority, Dr. Pool, who Is at the head of the department of bot any at our university. The Commencement festivities will begin on Saturday evening, May 27, at which time the Everett and Philo mathean Literary Societies will give a joint program. May 28 is bacca laureate Sunday. Rev. Hylton has been chosen to give the sermon. The following day is Class day, and the annual May festival will be held on Tuesday. This promises to be one of the best musical events ever given In the state, comprising a band con cert, the great oratorio Elijah, a children's cantata ,a concert by three of the world's artista ,and a grand ev ening concert by the glee clubs, the chorus and the soloists. Chief Jus tice Andrew Morrlsey will give the commencement address on Wednes day, May 31. at 10 a. m. "Chamberlain's Tablets Hate Done Wonders for Me" "I bave been a sufferer from stom ach trouble for a number tf years, and although I have used a great number of remedies recommended for this complaint, Chamberlain's Tablets Is the first medicine that hat given ia positive and lasting relief." writes Mrs. Anna Kadln. Spencer port. N. Y. "Chamberlain's Tablets have done wonders for me and I val ue them very highly." Obtainable everywhere. Adv May v vf".rv?ii2 y More than half the cars you sec are "Fords." Over a million Ford cars are in use today, rendering ef ficient economical service under all kinds of condi tions. 500,000 will be built and sold this year. Low price places it within your reach. Touring Car $440; Runabout $390; Coupelet $590; Town Car $640; Sedan $740 f. o. b. Detroit. On display and Rale at FORD GARAGE Keeler-Coursey Company GAS, OIL, STORAGE Stock and Supply Tanks Will outlast several steel tanks or several tanks made from other ma terial, and cost less money. Tbes ranks will keep the water cooler is summer and warmer in winter. Send for price list today. I ATLAS TANK MFG. COMPANY, Fred Bolsen, Manager, 1102 W. O. W. Dldg., Omaha, Neb. Mil Wet for Liver Because they contain the best liver medicines, no matter how bitter or nauseating for the sweet sugar coat lng hides the taste. Dr. King's New Life Pills contain Ingredients that put the liver working, move the bow els freely. No gripe, no nausea, aids digestion. Just try a bottle of Dr. King's New Life Pills and notice how much better you feel. 25c at your Druggist. Adv 2 You'd Stand on a Corner Or Rush to a Window Any Day to Hear a Band go by The V1CTROLA makes the world's greatest bands parade before you as you sit in your easy chair Sousa's Band, Pryor's Hand, Vessella's Band, Conway's Band, IT. S. Marine Band, and other famous musical organizations. We want you to see our complete line of Victors and Vic trolas. Come in and let us play for you The Music You Know and Like Best That 'h the best way for you to personally judge its capa bilities of satisfying your musical longings. $15,00 to $250.00 On Easy Many new Victor records just received THE VICTOR STORE OPPOSITE POST OFFICE r A Symbol of Health The Pythagorians cf Ancient Greece ate simple food, practiced temperance and purity. As a badge they used the five pointed star which they regarded as a symbol of health. A red five pointed star appears o each package of Chamberlain's Tab lets, and still fulfils its ancient mis sion as a symbol of health. If yo are troubled with indigestion, bili ousness or constipation, get a pack age of these tablets from your drug gist. You will be surprised at the quick relief which they afford. Ob tainable everywhere. Adv May Legal Blanks for Sale at This Office mitiimmiitiiiiiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiitmiiiiiii Shoe Shining Parlor We make a specialty of clean ing, dyeing and shining all kinds of shoes for ladies and gentlemen. New buck shoes and all colored shoes cleaned for ladles. Palace Shoe Shining Parlor Third & IIox Butte Time Payments JOHN WTXEB, MOB 7