Dakota County herald. (Dakota City, Neb.) 1891-1965, February 05, 1909, Image 2

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    Dakota County Herald
t. nerpont Morgnns 110,250 EThlc
ontnlns' no more religion than tbe
daln (1.25 edition.
Ixmdon Is to have a thonter In mem
ory of Shakespeare. All theaters are
memorials of Shakespeare.
It Is fcignlfleant that no coal dealers
r Ice men have Joined the Cleveland
movement to lire as Christ would.
Tnere are now 2r0,000 words In the
English language, hence It Is strange
It takes the Indies so long to nay good
bye to one another?
A California woman has been given
divorce because her husband would
tiot speak to her. Probably lie never
bad a fair chance.
Ten years for counterfeiting a $"
killl Is two years for each dollar. It
Is lucky for the crook that he did not
dabble In bad twenties.
A man Is charged with stealing an
otter cap on a train, which will, of
course. Induce every bright wit to point
out that he otter reform.
A college professor thinks Americans
of the future will have Muck eyes. If
the habit of calling one another liars
Isn't stopped he may be right.
A New York woman demands $."0,
POO for the loss of her husband's affec
tion. It seems to us that this Is
bulling the New York love market.
If man really Is descended from the
bog we expect some fiendish misan
thrope to take up the stockynrda cry
that "There's nothing lost but the
Prof. Ferclral Lowell has discovered
water vapor on Mars. Many Amorf
cans whose wells were dry last sum
mer and are staying dry under the
' now wll envy the Martians.
CL.' "s-'
Forty magazines of general Interest
describe themselves" as "total abstain
ers" as far as their advertising pages
to. The dryness, fortunately, does not
xtend to the rest of the contents.
The United States Is taking on n few
governors those days who try to make I
themselves believe they are presiden
tial size. ' They will know more about
It when they have governed a while.
The naval board of construction has
prepared plans for three 'Jd.oco-ton bat
tle ships. Ten years ago OXiO-ton bat
tle ships were considered enormous.
What nation will be the first to luunch
the 60.000-ton floating fort?
It la explained thnt grand opera can
not be made to pay because the grand
opera singers Insist on having salaries
that are too high. A sad feature of
the case lies In the foct that the pnu-
Jer grand opera singers of Europe de-
mana even nigner salaries thni our
,a , v uicib aio nvm lO uruw.
On December 21 the exact moment
when the sun turned north In It
course was flashed over the wires from
the United States Naval Observatory
In Washington to all telegraph points
In Alaska. Bummer Is so abort In the
far north that It doubtless comforts
tjie people there to know that It Is
,a-comtn In" the moment the solar
tide sets In their favor.
Perhaps there would be fewer as
sassinations if there were a stronger
probability that a murderer would be
Banged. It might even be sufficient
to make a long terra In the penitenti
ary sure. Whatever may be said about
the death penalty, the certainty of se
re punishment would probably dis
courage tne WKing or Human life. At
any rate, It would be worth while to
make a thorough test of this.
Professor Ferrero, the Italian his
torian, who bus been giving lectures
On Rome In Boston, says that Ameri
ca, la a truer heir of the R in inn
public than any European nation; that
Kome taught the world the principles
or commonwealth on a large scale,
wnicn only the United States Is vast
enough to realize. Dr. Ferrero Is not
pessimistic enough to press the parallel
to uncomronanie conclusions, but he
Sees In our Imperialism, our wealth
fcnd our power some resemblance to a
grandeur mat declined, although It
sever died.
For a number of years an effort has
been made from time to time to In
crease the President's salary from $50,
000 to 1 100,000. The salary has stood
at Its prebeut figure since the '70s, aud
the generation that has paused has,
as every one knows, witnessed such a
change in the requirements for living
that old incomes will no longer suf
fice. In official station, where there
Is no escaping to a simple life, the
pressure is more serious than else
where. Of course the President's house
bold is far from being a confined to
What 150,000 a year will procure, even
as the case now stands. In lieu of
increasing his pay mauy Items of ex
pendlture which might have been
Charged to him have been specially
provided for by Congress. In part
the Government pays for the pros!
dential stables and In part for tbe up
keep of tho White House. The $50,
wuu a year is merely wiiat passes
through tbe President's own prlvato
purse. The Senate finance committee
bas reported favorably a bill for In
creasing the salary to $100,000, and it
at-ems probable that the Increase will
be made In one of tbe regular appro
priation bills at the present session of
Congress, fco thut President-to-be Tuft
oi'i get the benefit of it. There should
be uo opposition to legislation so nianl
: fMtly Just and desirable.
The editor of the Popular Science
Monthly asserts that women teachers
re tbe bane of the country' schools.
Coy a, b aya, get but little good ttom
th teaching of women and turn away
from It when they can. The girls, al
though they "need men teachers even
more than the boys," naturally remain
longer under feminine tuition. "The ul
timate result of letting the celibate fe
male be the usual teacher," lie contin
ues, "has lieen such as to make It a
question whether It would not be an
advantage to the country If the whole
school plant could bo scraped." And
he ungnllantly refers to the woman
teacher as "a spinster, devitalized and
unsexed." The characterization of the
teacher as "a spinster, devitalized and
nnsexed" Is as far from accurate iir
tralture as anything can be. It Is a
gross caricature of n body of Intelli
gent, patient, conscientious womanly
women who are discharging a function
for which they are eminently fitted. To
be a spinster, It should hardly lie nec
essary to say, does not Imply that a
woman Is devitalized or nnsexed. We
do not have to go to any magazine edi
tor for light upon that point. The
woman teacher Is here and she will
stoy here. Her right to a place In the
schools Is based on the jossesslon of
seclnl talent for the work. The prop
er odncntlon of children tip to 14 or
15 years of age Is a task requiring
more than mere scholarship and theory.
It requires a tact, a patience and a ca
pacity to adapt oneself to the Individ
ual lent of the child that are as rare
In men as common In women. These
qualities make women pre-eminently
fitted for the Instruction of the young
er grades. They will certainly not be
found BiiKrfluous In the higher ones.
Woman's place Is further assured by
the fact that men In siilllclent num
bers cannot be got to do the work
particularly with young children. They
lack the maternal instinct which makes
the task agreeable to women. The fact
that men avoid that particular work to
so great an extent Is as much a result
of an Instinctive recognition of their
unfitness for It as of an objection to
the smallncss of the compensation. The
country has nothing to fear from this
recent bugaboo of the "feminization of
the schools." "Half of life is con
duct," and on the "conduct" sldo of
education the woman's Influence Is In
vulnerable. On the strictly Intellectual
sldo her efforts and Influence are Judi
cious and effective. Too many great
men have proclaimed their lasting debt
t9 t'.'.C trail11"? Pf thejr motherr to per
mit us to believe that woman loses her
characteristic mental aptitudes on
merely crossing the threshold of I
school. .
Very Different fnm the King- In F.-
einptlon from Um,
So privileged Is the King of England
In bis exemption from nny and every
law that one wonld naturally expect
Ms children might do prettv much as
they like. But Englishmen have al
ways been very Jealous of royal per
sonages, and the fact is that princes
enjoy very few privileges 'indeed. A
prince of the royal blood may be fined,
like any ordinary mortal, if his motor
car exceeds the legal limit of sieed.
The Prlnco of Wules cannot be sued
personally for debt. If the debt Is not
paid the creditor may take out n sum
mons, but he must summon tlio treas
urer, not the prince. If the en so goes
against the treasurer the money Is paid
out of the prince's assets.
No child of the King who Is under
25 can marry without the King's con
sent. Supposing, however, a prince
over 25 desired to marry and the King
refused his consent, then the prince
could give notice of his intention to
.the privy council
After that ho would
nave to restrain ins patience for a
whole year. If during that time either
the house of lords or the house of com
mons disapproved of the marriage it
could not take place. But if both
houses of parliament were satisfied the
prince could marry the woman of his
A prince has not even the right to
eaucaie nis own children, ror it was
long ago laid down thnt the king hns
the care and education of his grand
children wlille they are minors. Lon
don Telegraph.
Her Diplomatic Aninrr Won the
.Inry at Once.
Mrs. Grace West, a pretty little wld-
0W' was nwlu,ttcd ,n Mercer Court, In
Trenton, the other day after sho had
told an amusing love story In which
the chief hero was Albert Wetzel, a
crusty old widower, snys the New York
World. Mr. Wetzel told tho Jury,
which for tbe most pnrt was composed
of widowers and bachelors, that the
widow had been entertaining the
butcher, the gnx-or, the Iceman and
the coal man in her home, and that tho
entertainments resulted frequently in
When Mrs. West had her inning elie
told the Jurors in n sweet, plaintive.
voice thnt Wetzel had tried to play Uo-
meo o ner juncc. no would pi ty a
violin under her window late at night
and then in a loud voice would shout
his proHwaI to her to come down and
flee with him. On several occhfIo; a
Mrs. West told him she had on experi
ence in matrimony and that was
tuuugu. Wetzel Insisted, and when tho
widow locked the front doors to kep
him out, he bored a hole in the fence
in tbe rear, being too old to climb
over it.
"OU dear, wont-you wed me? Mr
life is a hell without you," was Wet
ae'.'s last proposal to h,er, Mis. West
i-ald. During the trial she wis asked
Just how handsome she thought Wetzel
was. Kre replied that she d!d not
think lit lit half as handsome n nny of
tho men in the Jury box. He acquit
tal followed a few moments l.-ier.
All ISqalpprd.
"No, my daughter, I will not consent
to your engagement to a book peddler
who doesn't know what he is going to
do for a success In life."
"Oh. father, you are mistaken. Ills
I career Is a'.i nifipix-d out."
"How t'.o you know thnt?"
"Why. doesn't lie aid I school atlases?"
Baltimore American.
First Doctor This is u most niya
trrloiw case. I can't make anything
out of It. Second Doctor llusu't the
patient any money?
How a Tfrrr York lleporler Wm Ite
arilril hy a Ulnar Arbiter,
One of the local rejHirtors was sent
up State nut long ago to net a murder
story, says tin Cincinnati Times-Star's
New York correspondent. While plrou
oiling around after facts In one of the
little backwoods villages ho became ac
quainted with the arbiter ologantariira
of the town an old maid, full of curt
orlty and scandal. lie played her
along, for she oozed the very Infor
mation he bud been sent to get. The.
day that he was ready to start bn'-k
to New York she called him Into her
little front parlor. "I'm so embar
rassed. Mr. IloHfer," she simpered.
Mr. Boster breezily liadi; her cheer
"I have such n favor to ask yon,'
said she, twisting In her rhoes.
Mr. P.oster began to fear a touch
But he was game. "Anything 1 can do
my dearest lady." he said.
"Well." said sb". looking Into hi
eyes wquctlishly. "This town has never
before been honored by the presence of
n real New York newspaper man. The
nearest was a nice-looking young lino
who said lie was a reporter, find who
bent mother out of n week's board. I
feel that your visit here marks a real
epoch In Shadevillo's history. In my
allium I have the autographs of Ad
ifilral Sampson. Admiral Schley, and
Gov. Hughes niiil Senator I'latt. Would
you lie so kind as to let me have your
signature with nn appropriate senli
Tho newspaper ninn signed, right un
dor Tom Plait's name. As a kli-d of
two-edged sentiment, a venllment that
would cut bath ways and leave all
hands In discreet doubt as to the writ
er's mo, mint', he wrote:
"Sweet are the uses of ndverslty."
t-'rnnel Jnarph of Auntrla-IIanRHrjr
Shown In Con I a me of Honter.
Here Is the latest picture of Emperor
frauds Joseph of Austrla-LIungary. It
portrays him In hunting costume. Al-
u" A
..-(, . ...
ktl -,
1 4 Iri V '
..' T..1 : nMB-Brfiifir""
forvi.tiHT y
though boru in l!0 and the oldest
reigning monarch of Europe, having
been on the throne since IW 18. the em
peror Is vigorous and ardently devoted
to the chase. In fact, hunting has been
his only diversion since his consort.
Empress Elizabeth, was nssasslnuted at
Rating; tho Tie.
"I remember one man from my home
town," a Western Senator said recent
ly, "In the good old days before civil
service examinations, whoso Jream of
eurthly attainment was a government
place. When his party was finally suc
cessful he Immediately set out for
Washington and was "on the jub' long
liefore the fourth of March, hut there
seemed to be a hitch somewhere. All
through the spring he wns about town
Wherever I went I would see . him.
striving for or Just after an audience
with some dopnrtmciit oillclal. By June
he was seedy and broken looking, hut
still appeared to be 'game.' ' Finally I
found him In the gallery of the Senate
chamber apparently endeavoring to kill
"Well, have you given It up? I ask
ed, trying to lie sympathetic.
"'Oh. I got the Job, all right.' he re
plied wit It a satistieil smile. Tin work
ing now.' " Success Magazine
Ho lluil llri-n There.
Bodrlck Howdy, old man. We nre
going on a camping trip soon. Did you
ever enjoy a camping trip where yon
had to do your own cooking and sleen
beneath the stars?
Van Albert Nope.
Bodrlck What? lo yon mean to
Bay you have newr been on a camping
Van Albert No. I mean to say that
I never enjoyed one. Chicago News.
Learning- i:url.
A Sunday school teacher had been
telling her class the story of tho good
Samaritan. hen she atiked them
whut the story meant a little bov sni.l-
"It means that when i a in in trouble
my neighbors must help me." I'ulrer-
allst leader.
What Kbe l.oved.
He If you don't love me, uml If you
will not listen to me, why do you al
ways take my boxes .f chocolate?
SIh- I love chocolates. Mcjgcmlor
fer Blaetter.
rather VeH? tommy Yi by Isn't
there ever a navy of llv unemployed?
It Wm Worth Annul n Shilling t
I'lek Those P itte.
Colonel Elie Ebeneer Sproat of Hot.
olutlonary fame was born and bred In
MlddlelMiro, Mats lie was always
fond of a Joke and was quick to vlzo
an opportunity to Indulge his propen
sity, as the foiliwlng Incident Illus
trates. His father, also o Colonel
Pproat, kept a tavern. One day while
Ebenezer was at home on a furlough
three private soldiers, on their return
from the seat of war. called for a cold
Mrs. Sprout set on the table some
bread anil cheese with the remnants of
the family dinner, which her son
thought rather n-nnty fare for hungry
men. He felt a little vexed that the
defenders of the country were not more
bountifully supplied. The soldiers,
after satisfying their appetites, asked
him how much they should pay. Ebe
nezer said he would ask Ills mother.
He found her In the kitchen.
"Moiher," he said, "h iw much Is It
worth to pick those bones?"
"About a shilling. I guess," she an
swered. The young officer returned to the
sohllcrs and. taking from the barroom
till 3 shillings nnd . smiling genially
upon them, gave each man one nnd
with good wishes sent them on their
wny. Mrs. Sprout soon after on mo in
and asked Ebenezer what he had done
with the money for the soldiers' din
ner. Ill apparent amazement he exclaim
ed: "Moneyl Did I not ask yon what
it was worth to pick those bones, and
you said a shilling? I thought It little
enough, for the bones were pretty
bare, and I handed the men the money
from the till, nnd they are gone."
Mrs. Sprout could not find heart to
reprove her favorite km for this mis
interpretation of her words, nnd then
she, too, loved n joke, and so, after nn
Instant's glum look, sho laughed and
Bald it was all ri'.it.
Prospective Suitor Sir, 1 love your
daughter. Her Father Well, don't
come to me with your troubles.
Maud Belle doesn't wear French
heels any more. Her husband won't
let her. Ethel I said she would low
er herself by marrying him. Boston
Suitor Do yon think, Edith, your
father will accept me for a son-lu-
awV" She I wouldn't be at ull sur
prised. I'apa always goes contrary to
my wishes.
Smith I declare. Brown, your wife
Is the most charming conversational
ist I have ever known. I could listen
to her talk all night! Brown I have
to, very often. ,
Brahlsen Tapes Yes, I'm fired; dis
charged without any reason! Sllksou
Thredd Well, you didn't have any
when you took the Job, did you?
Syracuse Herald.
"Mr. Chairman," began the man who
Is unaccustomed to public speaking. "I
er I er I er " "Well," Inter
rupted the chalrtnnn. kindly, "to err
is human." Washington Herald.
Curate And so, Mrs. Howard, you
cotiie to church every Sunday? Mrs.
Howard Yes. Mr. Priestley, we're
Buch strangers in town yet that we
have no other engagements. Brook
lyn Life.
Mr. Highbrow It was Michelet, I
believe, who observed that "woman is
the salt of a man's life" Miss Keen
Quite true! Young men aren't half
so frchh after they get married. Bos
ton Transcript.
"I like to see a ma take nn Inter
est In his work." "So do I. I once
knew a mI iceman who was so enthusi
astic that It positively pained him to
see anybody out of jail." Louisville
The Minister Then you don't think
I practice what I preach, eh? The
Deacon No, sir, I don't. You've been
preachln on the subjec' o' resignation
fur twn years, nn ye hlvim resigned
ylt. Exchange.
"That man who was here just now
seemed to move you a great deal?"
"Ho did." "By a touching story?"
"No; by throe londs In two wagons,
and he broke nearly every piece."
Baltimore American.
Miss Dudley- She was braggln' about
how successful her dinner party was.
She saiil it wound up "with great
eolaw." What's "eehiw" anyway? Miss
Milgley Why, I gfiess that was tho
dessert. Didn't you never eat it choco
late eclaw?
"Which do you think affords greater
pleasure, pursuit or possession?" "I
don't know." answered the man with
a motor car. "possession Is a tine
tiling. But I have sometimes suspect
ed that the police get more fun out
of my machine than I do." Washing
ton Star.
Playwright (describing play) Then
you have a very strong scene when
you trample on all the ties of home
La flection and . Well-known Actor
Cut that out. Playwright But it's a
very strong scene. Well-known Actor
Maybe so, but I don't picpcse to
tramp on any tics. Philadelphia
The Ilrakeinan'a Advice.
Down iu Maine Is a town called
Burnhutn, situated on a small branch
railroad that Joins the main line at
Burnham Junction. One day as the
train approached the latter place the
brakeman entered the car find in tils
usuul stentorian tones went through
his regular rigmarole when a station
aud junctlou are reached.
"Biu-nham Junction!" be shouted.
"Burnham J miction! Clinnge cars for
Burnham! I-eave uo articles in the
car! Buru'um, Bum'am !" Llpphj-cott'a,
By Charlotte
Tlx. Industrial conditions of tbe modern
heme are such as to delay and often prevent
marriage. Since the "home" Is supposed to
arise only from marriage, It looks as though
the situation were frankly suicidal. So far,
not seeing these things, we have merely 'fol
lowed our world-old habits of blaming the
womnn. She used to be content with these
conditions, we say; she ought to be now. Back
to nature- The woman refuses to go back, the home re
fuses to go forward, and .marriage waits. The initial
condition of ownership, even without servitude, reacts
unfavorably upon the kind of marriage most desired.
A woman slave is not a wife. The more absolutely
a woman Is her own mistress, In accepting her hus
band and her life with him, the higher Is the grade of
love nnd companionship open to them. Again, the eco
nomic dependence of the woman militates against a true
marriage, in that tne element of the economic profit de
grades and commercializes love and so injures the fam
ily. The hlgh?r marriage toward which we are tending
requires a full-grown woman, no one's property or serv
ant, self-supporting and proudly Independent. Such mar
riage will find expression In a very different home.
Ixsl ie's.
By J. A. How land.
I am familiar with an unpleasant tangle in
a great business organization where In the
beginning just oi.e man was to blame for a
slight indiscretion. His Intent was of the best
In the matter, but his Judgment was bad. He
exceeded his authority in a certain circum
stance and became responsible for Involving
a large portion of a department In a piece of
unauthorized work. The result Is that .
dozen mcu in tho establishment are under the fire of un
pleasant questioning. Recognizing that the real hea't
of the mistake lies with a man, who In doing ids beSst
merely failed In his best Judgment, this man hns been
shielded from his share in the muddle. But as the ait
iiatlon rests, the whole smooth running machinery of
a perfected organization has been thrown out of balance
Snd harmony.
The distinctly practical thing which the young man
may do Is to forget the logic of his school days in
subterfuge and covering up of his fellows' misdeeds.
Let him refuse to have his own errors covered by any
one. Let him prepare to take the consequences of his
own nets without fear or favor. Let him determine to
leave an open record behind him. When he sba'l have
proved to his fellows that he has no Interest fn hav
ing his own mistakes kept covered that hs Is will-:
lng to assume all responsibility for his own acts, clear
ing him of any obligation as to sharing the mistakes of
I want no pledge of joys to b
No false, uncertain vow;
That friend, alone, is kind to mc
Who proves his friendship now.
Life's changing year Is brief, so brief,
And I shall slumber long.
When autumn binds the yellow sheaf,
And winter ends the song.
Then, sweetheart, come to-day and bring
Love's flower in perfect bloom ;
I shall not care what wreaths you fling
To-morrow on my tomb.
Andrew Downing.
"Oh, dear!" said u voice "Un a sug
gestion of tears iu it.
The young man paused and let it Lj
recorded to his credit that lie . ". not
seen her face.
She was a charming, though obvious
ly distressed, little lady, as she stood
at the half-open gate. She seemed for
a moment taken aback as the light of
the lamp fell on the young man's fac -.
He had been walking deep In thought,
and thought Is a sign of age, and sits,
perhaps, awkwardly upon the unaccus
tomed shoulders of youth. Observing
her confusion, he sought 'o reassure
her with u Nnv a bow sugg-jstWe of
white hair, even whiskers, unfortunit
ly mislaid on this particular nigljt.
"Can I be of nny nsslstance?" he
"I don't know what to do," she de
clored plteously.
The young man endeavored to smile
Intelligently. It was the lenst, and for
the moment the most, he could do.
"I've been ringing for nearly twenty
minutes," she complained, "and they
won't answer." Her tone created the
Impression that the Inmates were sit
ting within, wondering what spiritual
phenomenon was affecting the noil.
"You nre sure It's tho right house?'
"Of course "M. This Is f.V Isn't
Investigation proved that It was.
"I don't often make mistakes," said
the young lady; she did not say It con
ceitedly rIto merely mentioned It as a
"You ar? not, perhaps, expected. '
suggested the young mini, resting ills
hand ct' the gate.
"Net until to-morrow. I thought I
wouh) pay my Sister a surprise visit
"That's the worst of surprises," he
began ; then It occurred to him thnt,
though true enough. It wns not, under
the circumstances, particularly consol
ing. He paused.
"They must come home sooner or
later." she said. "Thank you "
The young man received her bow of
dismissal with dismay.
"But 1 can't leave you." be protested.
"You mustn't dismiss me like that."
"I ? was releasing you," she sad.
"I efuse to be released," he declared
Her smile now partook lea wf the
nature of an effort.
"Thank you." she said. "I wns so
o.Traid you would go"
"Wh ir we have to do." be -ld brisk
ly, concealing his gratification under a
great show of energy. "1m to ct Into
tho hoiise.' He eyed It as Agamemnon
might have regarded Troy. "You can't
Perkins Gltman.
wait hrre in the cold" the atmosphere
was almost sugjf'.-stlve of a thunder
storm, but the dramatic instinct recks
little of such "t'ntil your sLsfvr or the
servants I suppose they must Le out,
too choose to come home."
"No," she o freed, placing her fate
in his hands with simple confidence,
"of course not."
"Tho point Is, how to get in."
"Yes," sho assented, "I've oeen try
ing for ever so long."
"We that Is to say, I must break
"It's not as if it were a Jtranger's
house," he said soothingly, In response
to her gn?p.
"But cen you break in?'
"ModPrti window . fastenings," ex
plained t?u young man, who had recent
ly reaii a newspaper paagraph on the
subject, "are simply invitations to bur
glars." He Cambered on to the low balcony
In frrtit of tbe window, involving him
self in n catastrophe of flower-pots as
he ld so.
Vje girl, with half-frightened ad
minnton, observed him extract his
kL'Jfe, and by Its menns slip back the
crtch of the window. She watched hlin
fith whole-hearted admiration such Is
the effect of success on the onlooker
as he raised the window, aud, with a
parting smile of encouragement, disap
peared Into the house.
"Do be careful," she cnlied out, as
a noise suggestive of an avert urned
table reached her ear.
Her warning, Vf heard, was unheeded,
for the disturbance assumed mtaolys
nile proportions. Her feeling of alarm
gave way to curiosity, nud by the nid
cf a smni! Cludstoue. which t'-j
dragged from the doorstep, she, In her
urn, mounted the balcony.
"It's all right," gasped the voice of
her deliverer, as she peered in at the
window, "don't be" h'a voice broke oT
tiddonly, and a subdued struggle ap
peared to bo taking pluoe "aiarmeo.
he resumed presently, somewhat more
brathlessly, "I've got him all right."
"Got whom?" she asked. In bewilder
ment. "If you could manage to r-liir.' In
aud light a match , we could see"
Climb In? Oh, I couldn't. Yes; all
right, If you nil right."
A moment later she was by his side,
and saw thnt he was kneeling on a
prostrate and gasping man.
"It's a burglar," explained the young
man; "we must tie him iqi. Have you
a piece of rope?"
Her lack of the necessary article
made the girl realize yet more vivid
ly lu-r helplessness In the crisis.
"Walt a moment." She dartel out of
the room, and the sound of a minor
maelstrom in the next room gave prom
ise of speedy assistance.
"Here you are," she said, running
Jsr "r M-r
others he cannot be criticised if he takes the stami
that his own shortcomings are qnlte numerous enough
for him to carry on one pair of shoulders. Organization
and resulta in business are synonymous. Organization
is crippled in Its purpose If that organization becomes
a secondary mcchine bent to the covering up of its own
organic lrefflcieLcy.
By Elbert Hubbard.
Sickness Is a selfish thing. If you are well,
you are expected to work, and give your time
and talent to helping other people. If you are
sick, you are supposed to be Immune from
many unpleasant tasks and duties.
Mark Twain Boys he was never wholly hap
py excepting on two occasions. One was
when he was given that Oxford degree and
wore a marvelous red cloak and mortorboard
hat; and the other was when he had the measles and
expected to die, writes Elbert nubbard in Llpplncott's
The Joy of holding the center of the stage and having
the whole family in trs Just on his account was worth
all the pangs.
Mark is a humorist, and a humorist is a man who has
the sense of rralucs, and to have the sense of values is
wisdom. Mark is a great philosopher as well as a
humorist. Not only has he testified that pangs aud
pains are the attributes of life, not death, and that
there Is not pain in death, but he also gives testimony
that sickness Is an acute form of selfishness. The sick
man disarranges the entire scheme of housekeeping
wherever he Is, unless he is in- a hospital. To have
his meais served to him in bed he regards as natural
and right For once he holds the center of the stage
ail danct attendance. Doctors come, nurses run for
this or tfcat, neighbors call and Inquire. He Is it. .-
By Edward Everett Hale.
The first living statistical authority said
to me not long ago that every man who Is
living In any such center of life a you and
I live in, controls on the average l,0C0 times
as much power as his ancestor did In the
year 1800. To speak of such a trifle as steam
power, iu the year 1S00 all the steam engines
of the United States represented thirty horso
power. The last trolley car that passed this
church represented more horse power. There is a little
illustration of the increase of human power which tho
wit of a few men like James Watt and Robert Hare and
Joseph Henry have made possible in only one of the In
cidents of human life.
Try to carry out a little illustration like that, nnd
you get some ldeaof what follows on a much larger
scale where man, the child, takes for use the physical
power intrusted to him by God, his Father.
back; "it's a tablecloth. I'm afraid
I've upset a lot of things, bu it was
so dark."
By the aid of this they partly bound,
partly swathed, their captive Into a
condition of helplessness.
lie lit the gas, and gazed at the floor
with puckered brows.
"I say, you .vive made a mess here.
1 suppose it was their supper. '
Tho girl turned to him with n des
pairing smile.
"I didn't know there was anything
on the table," she said, "until I pulled
the cloth off. It Is awful, Isn't it? One
thing, Ethel is very good-temeperd."
"Well, that's a good What's the
The girl was staring around the room
with bewilderment and alarm on her
"I I," she begnn, and then paused.
She took a candlestlcU from the side
board and lit the candle at the ?as. "Do
you mind just coming to the foot of
the stairs," sho asked in embllng
tones, "in case "
When she came downstairs again she
was very white, with two red patches
on her cheeks.
"There's a workroom up there," sb
said, sinking into a chair. "That man
was probably working there; that's
why he didn't hear the bell."
"Working?" queried her companion.
"You don't mean "
"Yes, I do. You saw the number was
'53, didn't you?"
"It's not the wrong house?"
She nodded dismally.
" '53, Claremont road,' I'm sure waa
the address, though," she added in self
exculpation. "Claremont?" He gazed round the
room, and his eye fell on an envelope
on the sideboard. "I thought so I
wasn't sure. This la Benares rond.
Claremont Is the next turning. '
The girl stared at him helplessly.
"Whatever shall I do?" she said in
a frightened whisper. "That Idiot of
a cabman!' she added viciously.
"Under tho circumstances,' mused
tbe young man, "to explain would be
well, an unthankful task."
Her fellow housebreaker lwlted at
her from the corner of his eye.
"But we must."
"Do you mean 'must morally? Be
cause, if not the man in the next
room Is not likely to know us again."
The girl looked at him, gna.vlng the
knuckle of her forefinger hesitatingly;
then she rose stealthily to her uvt.
"I hope," murmured the young ma if,
as they let themselves out by the front
door. "for. the sake of our er host,
the others won't be late getting l.ime.""
London Sketch.
Obeyed lMrertlmia.
Jones Did you deliver my message
to Mr. Smith?
Johnny No, sir. His office was
Jones Well, why didn't you -ait for
him, as I told you?
Johnny There was n note on the
door saying. "Return at oneo," so I
came back. Philadelphia Inquirer. '
A Kurjcleal Operation.
Tbe customer raised ids baud, and
the harWr. pausing In the operation of
shaving him. Inclined his head. "Sir?"
MJIvo me gas," said tbe customer.
f. i ll-Hi (ilolie.
Y. hen n hiis'.inud rims across nn old
love letter lie wrote bis wife, lie iilways
laughs, but bis wife cries.
A woman's notion of superiority is ti
be able to pay for things by check.