Nebraska Newspapers

    ADVICE TO VICTIMS.
Tells readers how to cure
rheumatism at home.
Itrctioaa to Mix A ?! ra pie, Harm
less Frrparalloa aad tee Don te
Tike ovrrrtmn Kldeey ad
tladdrr Tronhle Promptly.
je-eTsaai
; vmsf&M ma
jtmnoTiz COOPER t
uA STOfflf OF. THE REVOLUTION
There Is no much Rheumatism every
where that the following advice by an
eminent authority, who writes for rend
ers of a large Eastern dnlly pnp-r, will
be highly appreciated by those who
uff pr :
et rroin any gooa pnarmsry urar
hAt ounce Fluid Extract Dandelion,
ore ouneo Compound Knrgon, three
Ounces , of Compound Syrup Sarsapa-
frllla. Shake these well In a bottle ana
flake In teaspoonful doses after each
meal and at bedtime ; also drink plenty
f good water.
It Is claimed that there are few vic
tims of this dread and torturous dis
ease who 'will fall to find ready relief
In this simple home-made mixture, and
In most cases a permanent cure is the
result,
This simple iee1pe Is said to strength
en and cleanse the ellmlnatlve tissues
of the Kidneys so that they can (liter
ml strain from the blood and system
tbe poisons, acids and waste matter,
which cause not only Rheumatism, but
tumorous other diseases. Every man
r woman here who feefs that tbcli
kidneys are not healthy and actlre, ot
who suffers from ftny urlnnry trouble
whatever, should not hesitate to make
up tils mixture, as It is certain to do
much good, and may save you from
much misery and suffering after
-while.
Carloea Mnrrlnmt Cnatoma,
Wedding customs In Servla, that lit
tle kingdom In Europe, are curious In
deed from an American standpoint
For Instance, neither the bride nor the
bridegroom Is jthe most Important figure
In a Serylan wedding, but the best ,
man takes the; leading part lie care
fully guards the bride all the day be
fore the wedding takes place, and
ielceps outside her chamber the night
Wore the girt Is to be married. lie
wears a big stilt ,snsh made of heavy
silk carries a big w'hlte staff and a
huge bouquet all for himself. There
tare no bridesmaids, but two godfathers,
loach of whom presents to tbe bride a
llk dress. After tbe priest has per
formed the ceremony the best man ,
takes the bride around the church and
she kisses all her girl friends good4y
and Is finally carried oft to the bride
groom, who at last gets his wife from
the hands of the best man. Then tbe
nappy couple return to their Intended
borne. Bridal tours are foreign to Ser
vian Ideas and only the Tery rich or
the nobility Indulge In them. ,
Jake aad the A pal.
It was during an arithmetic class In
country school That Jake Boggs was
called upon to solve a problem.
.-. ;. "Now, Jake,", began the teacher, "If
you hare two apples and your little
brother took one, how many would you
have left?" , ,
"I'd Just like to see him try taking
tone," said Jake, shaking his flat
"Well," said the teacher, "we'll put
It this way. Suppose you gave him
Hne." "
"Yes; but I "wouldn't do It," said
Jake. i
"Just supposing you did, what would
remain?" said tbe weary teacher,
"A big fool, that's , what," replied
Joke. Judco. i
III Eye en the Patera.
The ardent Cuban patriot had raised
an army of seventeen men and started a
evolution. (
"But What do yoo expect to achieve by
'It?" asked one of the newspaper com-'
-apondents.
"Immortality 1' he exclaimed. "Did
.you ever hear of one of us empire build
ters getting killed? Nol on your machete ("
Thereupon, to avoid being run In by the
-police,, he took his devoted band and
hiked for the mountain fastnesaca. '
CHAPTER IX. (Contlnned.) I to an office of each unexpected dignity,
Francos abandoned her whole soul to I ordinarily discharged the duties of a fo
lks mnsic. Isabella moved from the win- male sutler, washerwoman and, to use
dw as her last tones melted on the ear I the language of Katy Haynes, petticoat
of her a.linlrin listener, and. for the first doctor to the troops. She was the widow
time, her eye rested on the pallid fare or of a soldier who had been killed la the
tho Intruder. A glow of fire lighted the service. The men were qnarteied In the
countenance of hoih at the same Instant, adjacent bams, and the officers collected
the blue eye of Frances met the brilliant In tbe "Hotel Flanagan," as they face-
black one of her sruest. and both fell In I tiously railed headquarters. Betty was
abashed confusion : they advanced, how-1 well known to every soldier In tbe corps,
tver, until they met. I and, although absolutely Intolerable to all
"This sudden chance In the weather, whom habit had not made familiar wltn
and perhaps the situation of my brother, I her virtues, was a general favorite with
have united to make me melancholy. Miss I these partisan warriors. Her faults were
Wharton," said Isabella, In a low tone. a trifling love of liquor and a total dia-
Tie thought you have little to an- regard of language ; her virtues, an un-
prehend for your brother," said Frances, bounded love for ber adopted country, per-
u the same embarrassed manner: "had feet honesty when dealing wltn tne soi-
rou seen him when he was brought In by I dlery, and great good nature. Such was
I Major Dunwoodie 1 " ' I the mistress of the mansion, who showed
Frances caused, with a feeling of I her bloerlre face from the door to wel-
ahame. for which she eould not account; I come the arrival of her favorite, Captain
and, in raising her eyes, she saw Isabella I Lawton, and his companion, her master
in matters ot surgery.
"Ah I by my hones of promotion, my
rentle Elizabeth, but you are welcome !"
cried the trooper, as he threw himself
ftom bis saddle; "this villainous fresh
water gns from the Canadns has ben
whistling among my bones till they ache
with the cold, but the sight of your fiery
countenance Is as cheering as a Christmas
fire."
"Now sure, Captain Jack yec's always
full of your compllmentaries," replied the
sutler, taklnir the bridle of ber customer
"but hurry in for the lite of you, d.irllng.
A long table, made of boards, was
stretched through the middle of the larg
est apartment, or the bar room, and on
It was a display of crockery ware. The
steams of cookery arose from an adjoin-'
ing kitchen. The captain of dragoons was
In no manner displeased at the prospect
of terminating pleasantly a day that had
been agreeably commenced. He was soon
surrounded by his comrades, who mano
many eager Inquiries concerning bis ad
ventures, while .the surgeon proceeded,
with certain quaklngs of the heart, to ex
amino into the stats of his wounded.
Enormous fires were snapping in the
ch'mneys of the rouae. The group with
in were all young men, and tried soldiers.
Some were endeavoring to sleep on tbe
I benches which lined the walls, some were
walking the apartments, and others were
seated In earnest discussion on subjects
connected with the business of their lives.
Occasionally, as the door of the kitchen
iWM ft
The rang eagerly accented the Invita
tion, sod followed tbe captain toward the
quarters assigned to his troop. Dunwoodie
paused a moment, from reluctance to tri
umph ever a fallen foe, before he prqe
ceeded.
Toil have already been tried. Harvey
Birch, and the truth "has nroved yon to
be ah enemy toofdanrerou to the liberties j
' . V. -... ' .! ft 1
oi r America i ds eunrreu io iit.
Tbe truth I" echoed the peddler, start-
"Ay 1 the truth ; you were charged with
loitering near the continental army, to
gain intelligence of its movements, aad.
by communicating them to the enesay, te
enable him te frustrate the Inteatioas el
Washington."
"Will Washington my so, thlak year
"Doubtless he would."
"Ne,.no, no," cried the peddler, I a
voice and with a manner that startled
Dunwoodie; "Washington can see beyond
the hollow views of pretended patriots.
'lis re you anything, wretched man, te
nrge te the commander-in-chief why year
should not die?" said the major.
Birch trembled. His face' assumed the
ghastly paleness of death, sad his hasd
drew a box of tla from tbe folds et at
shirt; he opened It, showing by tbe act
that It contained a small piece of paper;
on this document his eye was for an In
stant fixed he had already held It toward
Dunwoodie, whea, suddenly withdrawing
his hand, he exclaimed :
"No It dies with me; I know the con
ditions of my service, and will not pur
chase life with their forfeiture."
"Deliver that paper and you may pos
sibly find favor," cried Dunwoodie, ex
pecting a discovery of Importanee to the
cense.
"It dies with me," repeated Birch, a
finch passing over his pallid features,
and lighting them with extraordinary
brilliancy.
"Seize the traitor-" cried the major,
"and wrest the secret from his hAids."
The order was Immediately obeyed ; but
the movements of the peddler were too
quick ; in an instnnt be swallowed the
paper.
Dunwoodie whispered his orders In the
eo r of a subaltern, and motioned to the
peddler to withdraw. The interruption
caused by this scene prevented further
enjoyment around the table, and tbe offi
cers dispersed to their several places of
rest. In a short time the only noise to
bo heard was tbe heavy tread ef the sen
tinel, as he paced the frozen ground la
front of the Hotel Flanagan.
(To be continued.)
, CANADA'S BIO CROP.
GRATIFYING. CONDITIONS
WESTERN PROVINCES.
IN
UVwil
ef the D-
Vtoraaera ra .hi
lalaloa.Baak ka FlaBarlat Son-
ahiae .iutaieaae Yield ef Dollar
Wheat la departed.
"Ia he a man who uses good Judg
ment?" "Excellent But be always
puts It to use about a day too late."
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Rolllngstone Nomosa Yes; I nstef
be a poet Tatteredon Torn I often
wondered how you got your start
Philadelphia Record.
Lady (age 7) How much la that,
please? Stallholder (at booth of church
fair, age 9) How much' has your
mother given you to spend? Punch.
Friend What's the matter, old boy
You look disappointed. Algy I thought
I had appendicitis,' but tbe doctor said
it was only Indigestion. Court Jour
nal. ratlence They say your brother
used to have great luck as a fisherman.
Patrice Yea, he did hava Nearly ev
erybody used to believe him. Yonkera
Statesman.
"You llro outside of tbe city limits?
How far outside?" "Goodness knows.
I don't It's about fifteen minutes the
other side of where tbe map stops."
Chicago Tribune.
Landlord (to new tenant) I suppose
you would require a bathroom In the
house? Tenant Oh, we dou't need a
bathroom. Wo go to sea every year.
Meggendorfer Bluctter. '
Little Willie Say, Pa, what la the
difference between "well" and "good?"
Pa I have noticed, my son, that about
the only time you nre good is wheu yon
ire not well. Denver Post
"Yes, sir," said the man In cell 711,
"time was when I was admitted to the
very best houses." "And what brought
you here?" "They caught me coming
out." Yonkers Statesman.
Winnipeg Correspondence :
is eat ef tbe States of the Union felt
she aaneuaJIy severe winter ot I'.KXS-O"
tad '.he effects of the succeeding late
jsrisw were everywhere apparent. Corn
had been planted two and sometimes three
Vases, the winter wheat suffered, and
raerally there was a nervous feeling as
Ike retarded growth was ia evidence. From
he Daketas to Texas the feeling ef dread
existed, aad tbe fears were entertained
tat the crop ef corn, wheat eats and
barley would be a distinct failure. How
far this was the case is best left to those
e 1 1 - :
vices from one wko Is la elese loweh
with the crop and remmereial conditions
In the moot southerly hundred aad fifty
miles of the province state that tbe fall
wlicAt crop ia phenomenal, threshieg from
.K to 00 bushels per acre and grading
Nos. 1 and 2 northern. The price .real
ised is 75c to 8Te pee bushel. The bal
ance of Alberta north to iOdmentoa aad
east to Lloydialar. has mostly sprint
crop. It is largaly a dairying, beef and
pork raising country. The excessive rain
in late August and early September de
lnyed ripening of tie crop on the heaviest
soil, and consequently was coajtderefcly .
damaged on the arrival ef fall frosts. Oa
lighter soil tbe crap was fair to gooU. Oa
the line between Calgary and Edmonton
spring wheat was seriously damaged, bat
will produce a large quantity! ef lev
grade milling and feed; early sown oat
are excellent feed quality, but late eowa
are seriously damaged and a small pro
portion will be fed lb the straw. Oa tbe
Canadian Northern, from, a point torta.'
miles east of Edmonton to I .ley dm tarter'
oats and barley are renerally excellnat:
wheat is somewhat damaged and there Is
ro you lovk nuwwoontg?"
studying her countenance with earnest -
nese.
"You were speaking of Major Dun
woodie," snid Isabella, faintly. "Have
you seen him often?"
"He Is my relative," said Frances. "Our
parents were cousins,", faintly replied opened, the hissing sounds of the frying
Frances. I pani anj tbe inviting savor of the food
na ne is to do your nusonuai saia created a stagnation in all otner employ
ee stranger, Impetuously. I monta. All this time Dunwoodie sat by
t ranees icit snociceu, ana an ner priae
aivakened, by this direct attack upon her
feelings, and she raised her eyes from the
floor a little proudly, when the pale cheek
and quivering Hp of Isabella Temoved
ber resentment in a moment
"It Is iruel my conjecture Is true;
speak to me, Miss Wbarton ; I conjure
you, In mercy to my feelings, to tell me
do you love Dunwoodie?" There was a
plaintive earnestness In the voice that
Horn lie Lm( nia Opportunity.
How little the average person who la
trying to get on realizes bow many
things are occurring In bis experience
which are trying to down him, and
which are biuderlng bis advance! A
poor Job, an unkind word, a stinging
criticism, Ingratitude for a favor, fail
ure to give assistance when It was In
his power, hard problems skipped way
back in youth, a hasty act an indis
cretion of an unguarded moment Ail
things are likely to come up when he
least expects It and bar his progress.
Many an able man with political ambi
tions baa failed of election to Con'
lmMmm. ,A. ........ . in urn mm mt i iinnm i
A SlliCKP RANCH IN SASKATCHEWAN.
himself, ga,nff at the "re Bnd l0Ht ln
reflection. Hs had made earnest inquiries
of Sltcreaves after the condition of Sin
gleton, during which a profound and re- greMi or 0f appointment to some cov-
who passed through the experience. Nat
araily tbe same conditions we-e pvalent
Miss Caddie So she's really engaged throughout the province of Manitoba. Sas
to Mr Slimm. Do you think he's really "Atchewau and Alberta, in Western Can
a sood match? Miss Kuox-Well, he's a, and with from 230.000 to 300,000
, ... k..'- n a rod farmers there from the United States, a
a regular stick d he got a red fl of m.nlfet in
head! New lork Dnlly Mall. , Umost every State of the Union, for ev-
Harold I suppose, Uncle George, you try state has some representative there,
object to these things because I inhale This Interest was a nervous one and caus
the smoke. Undo George Not at all, td considerable indecision on the part of
my boy I object to them because you friends and others intending to follow,
exhale 'the suioke.-Mllwaukee Sentl- Those interested in injuring the coun-
try circulated stories of ruin and disas-nL'-
' ter, but the effect was lost, as it had
"What's that you're so busy writ- keen iong enough in the limelight io
lng? You're regularly perspiring over prove its high standing among the ajtri
It" "My wife is giving an address on mltural sections of the continent. The
'Women's Rights' to-morrow, and I am heavy strain placed upon It waa not too
preparing It for her." Lustlge Blaet- peat ; It has shown that the faith placed
ter.
spectful silence was maintained ln the
room ; but as soon as ne naa ended and
resumed his seat, the nsual ease and free
dom prevailed.
A loud summons at tbe door of the
building created a halt in the uproar, and
the dragoons instinctively caught up their
Hoato, aweet Heme," a'lrat laau.
"Home, Sweet Home" was first sung
In thia country at a theater In Phlla
delphln In connection with the produc
tion of John Howard Payne's melo
drama, "Clarl. the Maid of Milan." Thla
aras In 1S23. Tbe play was originally
produced In Covent Garden Theater,
Ixmdon, and Immediately the sweet air
f the sung sung by, Clarl became fa-
fftOUS.
HEB "BEST FRIEND."
disarmed Frances, and the only answer I arms to be prepared for the worst. The
she could make was hiding ber burning I door was opened, aad the Skinners enter-
i (are between her hands.
Isabelin paced the floor In silence until
she had succeeded in conquering the vie-
' tones of her feelings, wben, taking tbe
hand of the other, she spoke with an evi
dent effort at composure,
'Pardon me. Miss Wharton, If my un
governable feelings have led me Into Ira-
propriety ; the powerful motive the cruel
reason " she hesitated j Frances now
raised her fare, and their eyes once more
met; they fell In each other's arms, and
laid their burning cheeks together. Tbe
embrace was long was ardent and sin
cere out neither spoke; and on separat
' lng, Frances retired to her own room
without further explanation.
' While " thia extraordinary scene was
acting in the room of Miss Singleton, mat
ters of great Importance were agitated In
tbe drawing room. The disposition of the
fragments of dinner was a task that re
quired exertion aiid calculation. Not
withstanding several ot the small game
had nestled In the pocket of Captain Law
ton's man, still there waa more left un
consumed, than the prudent Miss Peyton
knew how . to dispose of to advantage.
Cesar and his mistress had a long com
. munlcation on this Important business,
and the consequence was that Colonel
Well mere was left to the hospitality of
Sarah Wharton. All the ordinary topics
eted office, because of some slip be has
made, or of somebody, perhaps a pri
vate secretary, who has put in the word
that checkmated the move for bis advancement
Perhaps, it was a sarcastic remark
about someone, who later waa ln a po
sition to help him, that lost him the
opportunity.
Many a man has lost bis opportunity
for advancement under the present ad
ministration by opposing and criticiz
ing Theodore Roosevelt ln his earlier
career, when he did not dream that the
former would ever occupy hla present
lofty position.
You never can tell where a thrust of
an unguarded moment will land, or
what effect a sarcastic remark may
have on your future. He is a fortunate
man who guards bis tongue, who tem
pers bis acts with prudence and good
Judgment. O. S. Marden In Success
Magnzlne.
mm
5 -eTi???!
dm I
.iv( rv;v- !:!' ; v
......
UAKllUliA ILLS AM) tXtAAlOUS.
BRTY WaB WELL XNOWIt.
ed, dragging In the peddler, bending be
neath the load ef hla pack
"Which la Captain Lawton?" said the
of conversation were exhausted, when tbe ' ng.
colonel touched lightly on the transac
tions of the preceding day.
"We little thought, Miss Wharton,
when I first saw this Mr. Dunwoodie In
your bouse in Queen street, that be was
to be the renowned warrior he has proved
"He waits your pleasure, said the
trooper, dryly.
"Then here I deliver to yonr hands a
condemned traitor; this Is Harvey Birch,
the peddler-spy."
Lawton started as be looked bis old
Wmself," said WeUnwre, endeavoring to acquaintance in the face, and turning to end"
A Yaakee Trlefc.
The shrewd "down-eastera" who
flocked to Ohio In the early days mado
such good use of their wits that they
were constantly suspected by their
neighbors of being engaged In trickery,
says Mr. Hulbert In "The Ohio River."
One day one of them overtook a Dutch
farmer riding to mill with a bag of
grain. In one end of the bag was all
the corn; In the other, to balance It
across the saddle, was a stone.
'Why do you carry the stone?" asked
the Yankee.
"To make de bag balance schteady,"
replied the Dutchman.
"But It isn't needed for that Throw
It away, and put half the deal In each
A Wemaa Tees Speaks of Peataaa.
We usually consider our best friends
thosu who treat us best
j Some persona think coffee a real
friend, but watch It carefully awhile
and observe that It la ono of tbe mean
est of all enemies for It stabs one while
professing friendship.
Coffee contains a poisonous drug
caffeine which Injures the delicate ,
nervous system and frequently sets up
disease ln one or more organs of the
body, if Its use Is persisted In.
j "I had heart palpitation and ner
vousness for four years and the doc
tor told me the trouble was caused by
(Coffee. He advised me to leave It off,
but I thought I could uot," wrltea a
Wla. lady.
. "On the advice of a friend I tried
Tostuni Food Coffee and It so satisfied
me I dil not care for coffee after a few
.days' trial of Tostum.
, "As weeks weut by nnd I continued
to use Postum my weight Increased
from OS to 118 pounds, and tbe heart
trouble left me. I bare uaed It a year
now and am stronger than I ever was.
I can hustle upstairs without any heart
palpitation, and I am cured of nervous
ness. "My children are very fond of Post
aim and it agrees with them. My sis
ter liked It wheu she drank It at my
tiouse, but not when she made It at her
own home. Now she has learned to
.make- It right, boll it according to di
rections, and haa twroine very fond of
Jt You may use my name If you wish
as I am hot ushamed of praising my
beat friend Postuin."
Name lven by J'ostum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read "Tbe Road to Well
jvllle," ia pkga. "There's a Reason,"
smile away his chagrin.
"Reuowoed, when we consider the ene
my he overcame," said Sarah, with conald-
erst Ion for .her companions felings.
"'Twas most unfortunate, indeed, ia ev
ery respect, that you met with the acci
dent, or doubtless the royal arms would
have triumphed In their usual manner."
"And yet the pleasure of such society
as this accident has Introduced mt to
would more than repay tbe pain of a mor
tified, spirit and wounded body," added
tho colonel, In a manner of peculiar soft
ness.
"I hope th latter Is but trifling," said
Sarah, stooping to bide ber blushes an
der the pretext of biting a thread from
the work on her knee.
"Trifling, indoeil, com pa rod to the for
mer," returned the colonel. "Ah t Miss
Wharton, it is in such moments that we
feel the full value of friendship and sym
pathy." Those who have never tried It cannot
easily imagine what a rapid progresa a
warm-hearted female can make in love. In
the short space of half an hour, particu
larly where there is a predisposition to
the distnmuer. Sarah found the conver
sation, wben it began to touch on friend
ship and sympathy, too Interesting to ven
ture her voice with a reply. She, how
over, turned her eyes on the colonel, aad
saw him gazing at her fine face with an
admiration that was quite as manifest,
and much more soothing, than any words
eould maks It.
CUAPTEn X.
The position held by Ihe corps of dra
goons waa a favorite place of halting with
tbeir commander. A cluster of some half
doaen smnll and dilapidated buildings
formed what - waa called the village of
the Four Corners. As UMial, one of Ilia
vest Imposing of thene edi!icea bad been
termed "a house of etiterttonim'nt for
man and beast." On a routh hoard sua-
sanded from a gallows-look iug post, writ
ten In red chalk. "KU;ibt1k fUnafitt,
her hold," an ttbulliliou of the wit of
eoaie idle waga of the roam. The mat
roB whoae name bad thui been exalted
the Skinner with a lowering look, he ask
ed
"And who are you, that speak so free
ly of your neighbors? But" bowing to
Dunwoodie, "here Is the commanding om
cer."
"Are you Harvey Birch?" said Dun-
woodier advancing with an air ot author
ity.
"I am," said Birch, proudly.
"And a traitor to your country," con
tinued the major, with sternness ; "do you
know that I should be justified ln order
ing your execution this night?"
H'Tls not the will or Uod to call a
soul so hastily to his presence," said the
peddler, with solemnity.
"You speak tbe truth." said Dun
woodie; "and a few brief boura ahall be
Med to your life. But as your offense
is most odious to a soldier, so It will be
sure to meet a soldier's vengeance; you
die to-morrow."
"Tis as God wills."
"I have spent many a good hour to
entrap the villain," aaid the Skinner, "and
I hop yon will give me a certificate that
will entitle us to the reward."
"Major Dunwoodie," aaid the officer of
the day, entering the room, "tba patrols
report a house to be burnt near yester
day's battleground."
" 'Twaa the hut of the peddler," mut
tered the leader of the gang; "we have
not left biro a shtugla for ahelter; I
should have burnt It months ago, but I
wanted his shed for a trap to catch the
sly fox In.
"You seem a most Ingenious patriot,"
said Lawton. "Major Dunwoodie, 1 sec
ond the request of thia worthy gentleman,
and crave the office of bestowing tbe re
ward on him and bia fellows."
"Take it and you, miserable man, pre
pare for the fate which will auraly befall
you before the setting o to-morrow s
suu.
"Life offers but little to tempt me
with." said Harvey, gaiing wfldly at tbe
strance faces In tbe apartment,
"Come, worthy children ef America!"
said Lawton, "follow and receive your re
ward.
"Goot 1" said the Dutchman, and away
went the stone.
Soon afterward the other rode on
ahead, and the Dutchman was left to
his own musings, ne became suspi
cious. .
"Now how It Iss?" he asked himself.
"Efferybody around here ln de glade
garries delr grain ao mlt a stone ln de
sack. Dot feller haa got some ratch
ln dla. It vas a Yankee trick some-
veres."
Thereupon he stopped his horse, hunt
ed up another stone, and Jogged con
tentedly on to the mill with tbe grain
all In ono end of the bag.
No Relief for the Aetres.
London actresses are Indignant at a
recent Judicial decision which means
that any photographer can use the
head of an actress In Juxtaposition
with any kind of a body and sell the
resulting picture to the public. The
complainant was a Miss Gertie Miller,
who objocted to being represented In
decidedly scanty attire and as creep
ing out ot an egg shell. But the Judge
neia tnat tnis is a decollete age and
that the lady must put up with the
caricature as best she may.
Coaeeatrated Hopes.
"Has that young man any expecta
tions ln lifer' asked the stern father.
"He has," answered the hetreae.
What are they?"
Me." Washington Star.
Dolly No, I won't wash my face. I
Just bate to wash my face! Grand
na Naughty, naughty! When I was
a little girl I always washed my face.
Dolly Yes, an now look at It ! Cleve
land Lender.
"Frau Lehmann was saying some aw
ful things about you yesterday." "Well,
did you stick up for me?" "Oh, no, I
wanted to hear It all, so that I could
tell you about it afterwards." File
gende Blaetter,
Mr. Orthodoxer But suroly, sir, Dr.
Reelar doesn't advertise? The Editor
Well, no, not directly, but when busl- m lt hag been warraDted and it is this
ness Is dull he often sends me a check rear producing undoubted evidence that
for Inserting pie, and pastry recipes. ka agricultural possibilities and re-
. . annrcea It stands nmone the first of food
, , tL, TTrtw a,,-, producers. A 1 .te spring delayed seeding
The Rev. J.-Tut, tut! How dare uguaJ early AppH perjod unU
you come oeiore me nu a Jn M ard in many caBeg wen on
ry you when ho is In that aisgracerui hu June it.g a i;ttie early to tell the
condition? Would-Be-Bride Weel, but, resutt but tha there will be a three
pleas, sur, he'll no com when he's Uarters crop is almost certain. The
wTllstrntA,l Bits. rield of wheat in V.lOfl'was 05 million
t - a,i .mi hlnt that the lushcls; this nr i: win oe oeiween io
Lawyer And do you th nk thtt fee
man who has run away with your wife rf JuQe wonM nmture an1
had known her aorne time? usbano Jb aj)y (mintrv Tne May g0WD
No, he can't have known her long, or ned and this is the feature that has
be would never have run away wltn j,, Western Canada's superiority as
her. Meggendorfer Blaetter. a great grain growing country. It dem-
Dlner Walter bring me a cutlet trates that the length of sunshine is
-L " h ! 'J for my dog. I - treat that the growing and ripcn.n,
eV -
will pay extra for that Walter Yes,
sir. Diner (when the cutlet arrives
Where Is the bone for the dog? Waiter
In the cutlet air. Meggendorfer
Blaetter. i
"I auppose you visited all the points
of interest while you were abroad?"
said one young woman. "No," answered
the other, "we were so busy addressing
Dost cards to our friends that we
hadn't time to do much alghtaeelng."
Washington Star.
"The great corporatlona which con
trol general necessities," said the man
of unusual theories, "should be regard
ed merely as servants of tbe public."
"Yes." answered the weary-looking citi
zen, "but have you ever tried to control
n house full of servants?" Washington
Star.
Mrs. Gadsby And you liked Rome
best of nil the European cities you vis
ited? Mrs. Newrlche (enthusiastical
ly ) it's far superior to all the others.
Why, my dear. In Rome one can buy
souvenir postals for a penny that cost
two pr three times as much anywhere
else. ruck.
"To-morrow," announced 5-year-old
Sidney, proudly, to his kindergarten eag0n, although shorter in number of
teacher, "Is my birthday." "Why," re- i,t than In jurt further south, in hours
turned ahe. "lt is mine, too." i lie boy s Is as great o greater
some loss of late sown oats and barley.
South of High River there is an enormous
crop. Front- High River to Edmonton
and from Edmonton to Lloydminster
there Is an average crop of over fifty per
cent of last year, and the price Is from
fifty to one hundred per cent higher than
last year. The root crop is excellent
and the live stock is in splendid condi
tion. At the time of writing it is diffi
cult to determine even approximately the
quantity of wheat that Central Canada
will market this year. The threshers'
returns will tell the story.
The proceeds of the excellent Western ,
Canada field of wheat, which is here pie-
tured were sufficient to pay out of the
one crop the price of the land upon
which it was grown. Sheep raising as
well as grain growing is also a profitable
Industry in almost any portion of Mani
toba, Saskatchewan or Alberta. The
pictured flock of sheep is a perfect repro
duction from a photograph taken in north
ern Saskatchewan.
Quick Action.
"Gentlemen," said the auctioneer, "I
call your attention now to this elegant
watch, stem winder and stem setter, solid
gold-filled case, extension balance, full
dueled, patent pinion pending, a time-.
piece,, gentlemen, worth a clean fifty ef
any mans money, an ornament to any
pocket and left in my hands with positive
orders to sell It because the owner can't
afford to carry it any longer. It's a
shame to put it up at auction, but it
must be sold. How much am I offered for
this elegant stem winding and stem set
ting, solid gold-filled "
"One dollar!" interrupted the eager
voice of Uncle Hank Hardscrabble, who
had just dropped in.
"Sold !" Chicago Tribune. , J
Oa Ilia Dlarnlty. v
"Waiter, what do you call thia?" de
manded the busby haired man at tbe table
in the corner, pointing to a blackened
mass that lay shriveled up in the middle
of his plate.
"It looks like an exceedingly well done
steak. Bah," said the sable functionary in
the white apron, standing stiffly ereet
"You ordahed it well done, didn't your
"Yes, but "
I j 1
A Good Show.
"How was the show?"
"Fine; the plot was the thickest
ever eaw." Cornell Widow.
fait clouded with perplexity, and, aft
er a brief silence, he exclaimed : "How
did you get so much blgger'n me?"
Llpplncott'a Magazine.
"No. Geoffrey," protested the beau
tiful girl, "you mustn't do' that I have
never allowed a youug nian to put his -arm
arouud my waist." "That being
the case, Gwendolen," he answered,
sadly, but with Inexorable firmness,
"you will have to take your head off
my shoulder." Chicago Tribune,
Flakrrman's Lark.
The Judge For two years you men
have tuned together, peuceabi.r, uud yet
you fought over this fish.
The Sportsman You see, your hon
or, this Is the first one we ever cmtxht
Trur-sluted tor Transatlantic Tules
froiu Mcgcndorfcr Blaetter.
It Is true he season has not neen so
favorable as ith. r seasons, but this con
lition ia widtw;rend. The corn crop in
the States of the I'nion, where It Is the
reniier crop of the farmers, la aubject
to frost. Frost has undoubtedly material
ly reduced tho total yield in placee this
fear, but after every allowance haa been
feiade for this i nd other causes the fact
remains that f e totul train in Alberta
will be the la "jest in history, while in
fee other provlrce the yiidd will not fall
far abort of ot! cr year". '
With rofercn.-e to Alberta, further ad-
"Well, aaht when a gent'man ordaha I
steak rare ws cook it rare. When he or
dabs it mejum we cook lt mejum, an'
when he ordalis it well done we cook It
well done, M it takes fo'teen hund'ed cubio
feet O' gas. Wish cawfy, sah?"
I'nreaaooable.
"Say, you sold this to me for a o&fery
razor."
"Well?"
"Well, the firRt time I used that raior
it cut a small mole off my face, slick and
clean."
"Huh! A surgeon would have chsrged
you $5 for cutting off that mole. What
are you kicking about?" i
Tbe La son of the Ave.
"Why was It. my children," said the
teacher with n tatilotic moral ln her
Bind, "that Geo Washington durlug
the war with 1 gHiml was so poor
that he bad only e shirt to wear nud
lie IvartV Wlaal'a laalrie.
l'.ius What irt'e you ordering, old
man?
If man descended from a fish, he . B.mg Chicken pie. Join ine?
has been guilty of tell lug some awful King All iliit: I'll leg It with you,
Has about his sneecufces ancestor. I Harvard Lampoon.
hardly enough t"
"I know, ter i'.i
wiae little until1..
band.
"Well, Sally?"
"Please, rou'inn.
touldn't tell a
at?"
. " volunteered a
gvrly lifting her
waa because he
Baltimore Amerl-
Qulrlril llrr.
Mrs. Stul John, do you rememiber
that beautiful ostrich plume we saw la
the shop w indow? Well, I have had rt
on my brnlu cer since.
Mr. Stuhu wdl. my dear, I always
did suy you were feather-brained.
Tbo Lake I I nmro.
Pearl -Eloped eh? M irrled ln haste
and reK'nt at Mavre, I ni;jose?
Ruby No. repevcl at St Joe. Loot
their return it- acts and couldn't walk
home.