THE BKE; OMAHA, TUESDAY. XOVKMHKK J, I9l.r.
The Bees Hone Magazine Pa
Virtues That Are Vices
No. 2 Unselfishness.
A Great New Series by Dorothy Dix.
By DOROTHY DIX
Unselfishness la another virtue that I
popularly supposed to be tha brightest
Jewel in tha crown that adorns the
feminine brow. Never a preacher or
A moralist who
Joean't adjure wo
men to cultivate
unselfish ness
Never a panegyric
of wifehood or
motherhood that
ian't a rharsody
over the woman
who makes a door
mat of herself for
her children, and
husband to wipe
their feet upon.
It is natural that
this view of th
subject should be
popular with the
little tin gods be
fore whom a wo
man offers herself
np. The queer part
of It is that women should have culti
vated In themselves) the sacrificial spirit
until they have coma to believe that the
way for a woman to do her duty by her
family Is to make herself miserable for
It. They are like the fanatics who think
they attain heaven by casting themselves
under the wheels of the car of Jugger
naut and letting it roll over them and
crush the life out of them.
Now there Is reason In all things. A
certain amount of unselfishness Is ad
mirable and desirable and even necessary
In every relation of life. Live and let
live is the motto of civilisation. Every
decent human being must give way to
the rights and convenience of others.
Particularly every woman must And
more especially must every wife and
mother consider tha welfare, the tastes
and whlma of her household.
The unselfishness that raises us above
the level of the swine, two and four
footed, la worthy ef all admiration and
emulation. That Is what might be called
the masculine brand of unselfishness,
and it is Innocuous. It Is the feminine
brand of unselfishness that is a virtue
gone wrong.
It Is this particular kind of self
abnegation that makes a devoted mother
do her children a more deadly harm than
their bitterest enemy could Invent. And
that Is one of tha most pitiful and tragic
facts in the world.
It is the unselfish mothers who raise
up the loafing hoodlums, who, like aa
not, as circumstances depend, become
white slavers, because they have always
had a woman to work for them, and they
see no shame In It. Mother couldn't
bear to call Bobby in from the street
and his play to split tha kindling, or
bring up the water, or do any choree, so
she did It herself. Mother was so unsel
fish that she gave Bobby the money that
An
By ADA PATTERSON.
It was one of those rare and blessed
times when she was not "in a hurry."
Events did not crowd upon her heels,
driving her forward at rushing rate. For
a little time events
were at slack
water. It was rain
ing. No one would
call. She might
sit at peace, her
hands resting in
her lap. If she
would.
But Instead she
locked the doors of
her house and
climbed the stairs
to the second floor.
Then, with a
glance at the driv
ing rain through
the windows she
sighed contentedly ' and climbed higher
by a narrow closed-in flight of stairs
to a pitch-roofed space from whence is
sued a faint, delicious smell of cedar and
lavender.
"A splendid chance to look through
these bags and boxes. I've been wanting
to for a year." She sat on a low chair
close to the window and drew one of the
big, strong, shapeless linen bags to her
knee, much as would a naughty child that
resisted authority.
She untied the heavy cords and thrust !
her hand into the bag and drew forth I
two handfuls of scraps. Scraps of old
muslin, bits of new linen, tiny squares
of velvet and shreds of silk. She drew a
sewing table beside her and began assort
ing the bits.
"That scarlet silk will line a collar and
give a bright touch to Mollle's gown,"
she assured herself. "This piece of black
velvet will cover moulds for buttons.
Tes. I'll save It. This" she held up a
stained and tattered piece of silk. "No
possible use,'' she decided. The larger
bits of linen and muslin she was sure
could be woven , into rugs. The bits of
wool Into carpet. But there were scraps
that by no means she could utillxe. Nor
would she get anything from the rag
collector for them.
"Why did I keep them?" she asked
herself. "Nothing should be saved that
cannot be used."
Her voice, in the fragrant silence of the
attic, with the obligate of rain beating
outside, echoed in her brain as words
hurriedly spoken by ourselves or others
may.
"Nothing would be kept that Is of no
use. It merely takes the space that
should be given to better things," she
murmered, and presently she stopped her
assorting. Her hands lay Idle in her lap,
her figure was relaxed, she stared into
the farthest, dimmest corner of the attic
and thought.
Thought of that earlier love affair of
hers and the bitterness that remained in
her heart about It. Why did she blame
the relatives who bad. prevented her mar
rlageT Why did she contrast her hus
Mm iiipii
j she was saving up to get her a new pair
I t "hoes to buy a baseball mask.
Mother always ate the neck of the
, chicken or the scraps left on the dish.
Mother stayed at home and cooked up
a good surper for them against their re
turn when the balance of the family went
off on an excursion. Mother never had
any decent clothes, nor any pleasure.
No one considered her feelings In any
way. and so Bobby growled at her when
he was a child and cursed her whn he
was a man because her unselfishness had
raised his selfishness up to the nth de
gree. It was mother's unselfishness that sent
Bobby out Into the world to be culfed
and buffeted and beaten until a little
consideration for other people and their
rights was hammered into him. And
mother's unselfishness was directly re
sponsible for the broken heart of the
woman that Bobby married and treated
like a brute.
It Is the unselfish mothers who are at
the bottom of the divorce courts, for
they raise up the lasy, selfish, parasitic
girls, who curse the men who are un
lucky enough to get them for wives.
Mother has a glow of self-righteousness
when she thinks of how she is "sav
ing" her daughters by bending over the
washtub while they are getting exercise
in a tennis court. She thinks she is
doing the part of a noble, self-sacrt-flclng
mother by working her fingers to
the bone while her girl's hands are pink
and manicured, and by wearing the cast
off clothes of the family while her
daughters are arrayed In the latest crea
tion from Paris.
In reality she Is making of them mon
sters of cold-blooded selfishness, grafters
who take what they want irrespective of
whether they have a right to it or not.
She .is making them greedy, and callous,
and self-seeking, the type of women who
regard matrimony as nothing but a meal
ticket, and a shopping credit which they
are ever ready to trade oft for a bet
ter one.
Nor la the unselfish wife the pearl
without price that she is supposed to be.
It Is not the self-abnegating woman who
help men, but the ambitious ones who
demand a place In the sun and force their
husbands on to get it for them. Many
a man has become a millionaire because
he had to hustle to supply a selfish wife
with gew-gaws.
Moreover, the unselfish wife and
mother have never the slightest Influ
ence with either husband or children.
We all take other people at their own
value, and we accord to them the treat
ment they demand of us. Hence, when
a woman humbles herself before her
family they treat her with trie contemp
tuous Indifference due to her position.
This is why the self-abnegating woman
does more harm than good, and why un
selfishness Is oftener a crime than a
virtue. .
Hour in the Attic
band, plain, honest, faithful, with the
man of her first love? He had married
another, and his wife confided to her
confidantes who confided to their as con
fidantes will, that he was not In the A
class of husbands. Why harbor the dregs
of memory? Did they not take room that
should be given to better things, say as
to the resolution to be as good a wife as
she could to her own good husband?
The woman's relaxed muscles stiffened.
She sat straight and in her eyes gleamed
resolution. It were time long ago that
the last vista ge of the last memory of
that foolish first love should be cast out.
And it was.
The woman in the club whom she
disliked so heartily. What of her?
Hadn't she given enough thought of her?
Too much indeed, for every destructive
thought Is one too many. Why waste
any time and energy and good looks
they passed too fast, anyway, those good
looks to a woman whose voice and dress
and Ideas displeased her? The woman
was a good one in her way. She was
of kindly nature In an extremity. She
had been the best of. friends to thai
family in the next block, who had been
quarantined. She had saved from star
vation the ailing little seamstress in the
lower part of the town. After all her
faults were petty, not great ones. Her
errors were those of taste, not of prin
ciple. Tes, the active dislike for Mrs.
Advice to Lovelorn
Dos't Be Hasty.
Dear Miss Fairfax: For the last six
months we have been going to parties,
church, etc., with two boys of our ne.
quaintances and now a mutual friend
ship (which I am afraid will be hard to
break) has sprung up. Now, do you
think it Is right that both of these boys
call on us steadily and make use of our
homes for their fun and still never take
us out? What Is the best for us to do?
O. E.
These boys are not particularly gener
ous in their attitude toward you, but that
certainly need no cause you to give up
your friendship for them. They may
have good and sufficient reasons for
wanting to save their money, or they
may have obligations which take all
their spare change for some such kindly
thing as helping out at home. Friend
ship Is not based on give and take, but on
honest liking. So don't worry about their
seeming lack of generosity.
Veek I'ndrratasdliis,
Dear Miss Fairfax: I am 20 years old
snd hava been going with a girl one year
During this time she has done a fw
fa vers I requested her to do. she stop
ped putting paint on her face for the last
(7) seven months, as I asked her to.
Now she has started to put it on again
since last week, and when I asked her
the reason for such happenings sue said
she did not want to go around with a
pale look on her face When I asked
her to stop It she said she would not
H. ii. a.
Oo to the girl and tell her that while
you still feel It is unfortunate that a
Curiosities of Old Pewter
Drinking Vessels One Common Now Sought by Collectors.
To the left a half-mutchkin measure tinlidded, in the renter a measure of 1680 used as a
communion flagon in Brechin cathedral, and on the right an imperial pint measure used in
Glasgow.
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hsm rr-T1 i'i iiiiiiiiiiiwiii iiiiiir-n-BT"r"-)tr 1,1 in in i ni iwriinj-Tiissi isismsj mmm snnjniiiiiin
OA BRETT P. SKRVI8- p f , ( ' ' I" r1 -"'v'tfx'
to be old-fashioned is at first a re
proach and later a distinction. V hatever
survives Ita age becomes a memorial of
(ar-away times, and enables us. In a
sense, to relieve the life of past genera
tions ss history cannot so vividly do. as
you look at an old piece of furniture
you have a pleasurable vision of the so
cial scenes that centered about It when
it wrs the latest thing.
You find In it beauties that Its original
possessors may never have noticed. Part
of the artistic superiority that we ascribe
to such tilings resembles the super
eminence which later times have recog
nised In Shakespeare, who. In his own
day, was not thought to be unrivalled.
Who that drank his ale or claret one or
two centuries ago from a pewter cup,
which had been filled from a pewter fla
gon. Imagined that those vessels, snaped
out of a base alloy of tin and lead by
artificers who certainly were not re
garded aa ' artists," would, in a later age
which could command much more ex
pensive materials and work, be regarded
as "object of vertu," L ., of rare and
curious excellence?
Tet today "old pewter" Is one of the
favorite objects of collectors and the
styles of Its makers are admired to a
degree which would certainly first cause
them to open their eyes and then to
swell with pride In a genius which they
had not known that they possessed.
But, however they came by It, the old
makers of pewter vessels, which seemed
commonplace enough in their day, for
every tavern had a plenty of them, had a
knack of turning out very graceful and
attractive products. Some of these are
represented in the photographs on this
Gringo Brown must give way to better
things.'
Her quarrel with life as it was? The
woman's mouth took on the lines of a
grieved child's for a second, then chiseled
itself into determination. Ufe wan't
quite all that she would have had It.
But whose was quite what the one who
lived It wtbhed? The colors of her life
seemed to run pale? Yes, but what of
her whose colors seemed more vivid?
What did she really know of what that
person wished compared with what she
had? No, that old nurtured grudge
against life must go.
A wagon rattled .past. It bore the
sign. "Burn your rubbish and save
trouble" Fire Department. The woman
smiled.
When the family met about the supper
table the children said: "Why are your
cheeks so red?" "I've been making a
bonfire of some rubbish," she answered.
"You're looking well. You don't look
tired," her husband, who was usually
tired, said.
"The storm gave me a chance to rest
and think things over In the attic," she
answered.
He looked at her in faithful admira
tion. His eyes reminded her of a St.
Bernard's, patient, gentle, true. He did
not understand the change in this wife
who worried a great deal. But he was
glad of the result. Which, after all. Is
what matters.
m Bj Beatrice
Fairfax
sweet, dignified girl such as she la shoul 1
give people the wrong Impression make
up always produces, you do not want It.
lose her friendship because of a dlf-
rerenee or opinion on this subject. If
she cares enough for you she may In time
vir.rt . T ? m"y ri reading. In the peace of home and fam
It 1. SJaibie th 'n " nui"'VurTlly. in the quiet of nature, In any en
t is possible that you also may have Li . JL- , v,..i
habits of which she does not a DDroi a
and about which she would hesitate to
criticise you.
Don't Kllrt.
Dear Miss Fairfax: I am a young girl
or A) and am considered attractive ly
many of my friends. Despite the fact,
I have never had a man friend who
really seemed to care much for ine. My
Jlrl friends always seem to have many
friendly acquaintances. t'pon Inquiring
from one of them recently I learned that
they spoke to men without having been
Introduced, and was urged to do the
same. It did not seem right to me, how
ever, and since I have no mother I de
cided to write to you. Won't you please
tell me what Is right? I don't want to do
anything Indiscreet, yet 1 do so wish to
have friends like others have
BLANK.
Don't let your friends persuade you to
make chance acquaintances. You will not
make worth-while or lasting friendships
that way. Since you are en attractive
girl, you can rest assured that some day
one of your men friends will feel real
devotion for you. But If you cheapen
yourself by flirtation you are not likely
to win anything but a passing fancy
and you rlsk making most dangerous
acquaintances.
f ..nnwwsn , ' V - - '-v"t ? - - v. w. fj -fl
fe " T'h hfil Y,';;.":j
--,.
MftaAu
e.tii
Quarter gill, half gill pewter measure of thistlo shapo.
page. The Scotch, always good drinkers,
were particularly skillful In this kind of
work. They had a vessel called, with a
humor which could penetrate any skull,
a "tappit hen" (you can notice the re
seblance yourself when you know that
the name was applied to a hen with a
top-knot), and this vessel, possibly
through another play of Scotch humor,
was reckoned as a pint measure, al
though it was half as big again s.s a
quart!
It was called the "Scots pint." The
name tappit hen is sometlmee applied to
smaller specimens of Scotch pewter ware,
but It properly belongs only to stoups
holding three pints, a UtUe projection In
side the neck, called "the piook," err
ing to Indicate . the level of the liquid
when the vessel contained full measure.
In many cases the makers lavished
much decorative effect upon the tope of
the lids and thumbplecea by which they
Which Hour Is Your Happiest!
An Interesting Question Which Opens Up
A Wide Field of Discussion.
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.
What means the Joy o' Ufa to youT
What elves to your day the greatest
measure of happiness? It is worth your
while to stop and consider this question
very seriously, for your enjoyments
show a very definite phase of your char
acter. A little thought will convince you of
the truth of this. Consider the history
of nations at periods when civilisation
had not brought kindness and humane
Instincts to be factors In feeling, enjoy
ment came from the sufferings of others.
A barbarous populace got Its gayety
from gladiatorial combats, In whleh
brother of conquered peoples might be
compelled to slay brother.
It found pleasure In watching humans
mauled and torn to death by wild beasts
In the arena.
Today the barbarous Instincts of hu
man nature are dying but not djead.
What makes you laugh when you see
a harmless old man slip on a banana
peel and fall to experience Ignominy
and perhaps pain? A sense of humor
ought not to be so tremendously ap
pealed to by this common enough spec
tacle of a fellow mortal losing his foot
ing. It Isn't sense of humor, but the
excitement of the unexpected mingled
with the old barbarous instinct to get
fun out of other people's pain.
Examine yourself rather carefully to
see what gives you happiness. The
knowledge will give you light on the
profitable study of your own nature.
Do you get your greatest Joy out of the
excitement of a social "good time?"
Then you are too much of a butterfly
and must take yourself to task lest
you slip Into the class or Idlers.
Is your happiest time that spent In
vironnient where you have only to bask
in the pleasant surroundings that give
you peace? Well enough so far as It
goes you are probably a kindly, studious
person but you lack Initiative.
The healthiest form of enjoyment
comes from work. Honestly It does!
There is a glorious Joy In the feeling
that cornea over you when you stop for
a moment and look at what you have l
accomplished and know It to be good.
"I did Oils. 1 added this to the sum
of humun achievements." No feeling,
that eomes to you can be more fraught
with real Joy than the peaceful satis
faction of looking on your work and
knowing it to be good.
If effort and accomplishment as Its
crown mean the greatest possible hap
piness to you, you are one of those ener
getic, ambitious, determined souls who
will surely forge ahead In the world.
If serving others and bringing hapiplness
Into other lives is your Ideal of happi
ness you are one of those noble souls
born to make the world better because
you have been In It
If anything constructive anything that
adds to the sum of human knowledge
"3
,vK. rfMt,if..f
1 were lifted. But In many other cases
there were no lids, their absence being an
effect of economy.
In the course of time the forms of these
essels underwent considerable damagea.
From the "henshaped" they passed to the
"potbclled." the "pear" and the "thistle"
forms. There were also other smaller
vessels of pewter which are now sought
by collectors. Among these was the
"mutchkln," sometlmee made In the form
of a tappit hen, but holding only three
gills,, and the "chopIn" holding a pint
and a half. There were likewise half
mutchklns and gills.
When, as sometimes happens, any of
these vessels are found bearing dates and
maker's names, or lntlals and other
designs, their value aa curiiosltles Is en
hanced. For church communion purposes
large pewter flagons of Scotch quart
site, equal to six pints, were employed.
I or happlnese of achievement mean Joy
to you, Just go ahead In your altruistic
pursuit of Joy.
But If your happiness comes from lasy
browsing In the atmosphere others have
created, or from the Inflicting of pain on
others either wontonly or to get ahead of
them haul yourself up short.
Unless your Idea of happiness is a
worthy one you are not yet a civilised
cltlsen of the world. Don't let yourself
be a barbarian. Make your ideal of hap
piness a fine one.
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Nerve Strain
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When, for Instance, worry, overwork or shock
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At such times Sanatogen is specifically help
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not only the weakened digestion but the im
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This explains why CoL Watterson, the
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"1 do Dot think I could have recovered my
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And why Hon. Win, B. Chandler, former
Secretary of the Navy, wrote I
Sanatogen la a plsassnt
eases of Impaired digsstioa.
without Irritsuog aod promotes vitality ia
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It also explains the striking endorsement of
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And it gives you ths reason why we are so
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you give it an opportunity.
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s A w a t n a k "xt
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Why We Quarreled
No. 8 The Man's Side The Husband Who Tried to Reg
ulate His Wife Wardrobe Tells of His Defeat. : : : :
lis YIIUJIMA TKHHINK
IK WATER.
VAN
(Copyright. 1!!S, by tar Company.)
When we were young married my In
come was small, and it was remarkable
to see how well my wife dressed on It.
She Is deft with her fingers, and she
fashioned many of her own clilhe .
Then, suddenly, I made a good sum
of money and my fathor died and ;ef,
me still more. This enabled us to alter
our moils of life and no Into a more
fashionable set of socle y. I was Kind,
for I like society.
Rut I had no Idea that the change in
our fortunes was going ia mike surh
a change in my wife's apparel. .1 under
stood, of course, that the material of
her costumes might now be handsomer
than of old. hut It beats ine to under
stand why she need have several gowns
to take the plaue of every one that she
used to have. And nowadays she "makes
over" nothing.
"Why should I?" she argues. I can't
sew nearly aa well a.i the professional
dressmakers do, and, besides, they need
the very work that I used to do myself. '
"That's very true," 1 agreed, "and 1
am not objecting to your giving work
to trained dressmakers or needy sewing
women. Hut why have so many gowna
for one season?"
"Because," she replied, "I go to more
functions than 1 once did."
"But." I Insisted, "even then you do
not wear out an evening gown In one
season. It may get soiled, but you can
have it cleaned. Aa you do not danoe,
it certainly does not become worn or
shabby."
"You seem to forget," Elisabeth said,
"that It makes a woman uncomfortable
to wear the same costume In the same
crowd again and again."
Then she sighed In sheer despair ol
making me understand.
That was last fall. I had never seen
her more engrossed In anything than
she was In shopping and dressmaking
all through the late autumn and early
winter. I determined to keep count of her
new clothes. One day when she was out
I came home early and went through
her closet I knew which were the even
ing gowns, for they hung In light bags.
Rach bag bad attached to It a smaller
one which held the slippers to match the
gown.
I counted five evening dresses, three
suits, three afternoon dresses and, three
fluffy things that looked like wrappers
only more elaborate. I think they were
what my wife calls negligees. There were
also several wraps, besides her long: fur
coat I made a list of them all and handed
It to my wife when she came In,
"Well, what of III" she demanded, as
I looked my disapproval. "We go out so
much that I must have evening gowns
a-plenty. Aa to the afternoon gowns, 1
wear them to teas In my own home and
elsewhere. Then the suits I need for
ohurch, calling or shopping. I ' could not
wear a plain serge suit to call In, oould
I? I tell you," she added defiantly, as I
made no reply, "when a woman Is young
she may look all tight In plain things,
but when she Is n earing middle life she
must dress handsomely or be a perfect
frump."
"I'd risk It," I muttered
"What did you say?" she tsked.
I repeated my remark, adding perhaps
brutally that I would rather have my
wife resemble a sober little domestlo
bird than a vain and strutting peacock.
I knew my words made Elisabeth very
angry, and she looked at me stranely
for a full minute before she spoke, I
wondered what she was thinking.
"Do you mean that?" she asked at
last.
"I dot" I returned savagely. "I would
rather have you as plain as a nun than
putting all my money Into peacock-Ilka
gaudtneas." ' '
This was not true for I have enough
money and to spare but I was Indignant
nntrimont lor
It strengthens
and bitter. An beur later I had forgotten
the remark.1 My wife had not.
Two nlphta later Elisabeth and I went
to a fashionable reception given by the
wife of a wealthy business associate of
mine. In the automobile my wife's fut
coat hid her gown completely. j
I could not repress a start of amaxe.
ment when, as I waited for her at the
head of the stairs outside of the men'
d reusing room, she appeared In a plainly
made black silk, one that had been a.
second-best afternoon gown last year. Thi
sleeves enme to the elbows nnd she wore
long black gloves. The waist was ope
a I ttle tie throat, and this srao wn
filled with white lace.
"B.'llxnbe'h!" I exclaimed. actually
shocked. "What, in tho name of heaven.
have yen worn that dress for sueh ii
function as this? You know I clwiv
wunt you to look your beet In th'
house."
She smiled Inscrutably. "You to'd me
you would rather see me dree-d llko a
nun than like a peacock," she reminded
me. "So, aa all my evening gonna are
rather gorgeous. I had to wear this td
meet your views."
I wns almost brsido myself with rare.'
Other couples, passing us In the hall,
looked at my wife In surprlro.
"We'll go home!" I told her In an angry1
whisper.
"Very well," she agreed, calmly.'
We went home, and when we were
once In our own house I turned on her
authoritatively: j
'Now go nnd dress suitably!" I or
dered. "Then we will go back to that
reception."
"Oh, no, we won't," she said. "You
may go If you like but you'll go alone.
I am not going to obey another of your
whlma 1 dressed tonight ti please you,
but I shall not repeat the process Just
because you have changed your mind.
But remember, after this, I mean, to
dress to suit myself since I cannot suit
you."
That was all. From that time to this I
have never Interfered In what Is, presum
ably, my wife's own peculiar province.
And when her friends declare In her
presence and mine that she la the best
gowned woman In our set I do not
glance in her direction lest I see a
gleam of malicious triumph In her eyes.
In-Shoots
No 'optimist was ever able to convert
a pessimist.
Family honor la. usually a Jokn to all
save the relatives.
Of course, the close friends Is a!wa
liable to touch you. ;
When a married man loses his temp r
his wife gene'rallly finds It.
It Is difficult to make a bard
story, profitable In many cases.
luck
Complain that some one la doing yoU
and you advertise yourself as an easy
mark. .
People who never travel always seem
to have the best knowledge of the rail
road time table.
There im something the matter with
the woman who does not like to linger
at the telephones ,
Spading the garden will bring more
muscle than playing golf; but not every
fultow has a garden to spade.
If a man turns over his pay envelope
regularly It la not necessary for him to
calj his wife "darling" all the time.
During the-engagement a girl seldom
sees but one man. But after marriage
she has been known to look around and
make comparisons. -
