Nebraska Newspapers

    TH.K TUSK; OMAHA, MONDAY, JANUARY 18, 1U15.
THE OMAHA DAILY DEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROaEWATKR.
VICTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR.
The Be Publishing Company. Proprietor.
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OFFICE",
ftmiht-Tha Bee Building
South Omaha SIS N street.
Council Rluffs 14 North Main atreet.
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DECEMBKR CIRCULATION.
54,211
fclat of JN'obreaka, County of Douglas, mm
Dwlght Williams, circulation manager of Tha
Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, say
tlit the average dully circulation for the month of
Itecembcr. 1H, nu 64,211.
DWIOIIT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before
me. tlila 2d Uhv of January. 116.
ROBERT HUNT ICR, Notary Fubllc
Subscribers leaving the) city temporarily
hrjild have 1 ho IW-e mailed to them. Ad
dress Will be chsuget) often as requested.
cr
January la
Thought for the Day
Stltcttd by HtUn lioot Hampton
Tht univtrm belonyi to him who icUU, kKo
knows, who prayr; livt he muit will, ht mutt
know, he miV pray. In a word, ht mmt po
ses force, wit Sim and taith Balzac.
. Jf
' i
Winter is half over. How about the coal
pile?
Official assurance that the state treasury
vault Is safe will not deter Job seekers from
chasing the combination.
A1 smaller loaf at a higher price threatens
to fall from the elevated price of wheat. The
consumer gets It both ways-.
; . . i . .
Placards of the "Safety First" league would
look more impressive if they carried the en
dorsement of the Barbers' union.
The supremacy of Kansas In jail population
and bughouses is a revelation calling for a mere
discreet censor of Jayhawker statistics.
Tho antl-tlpplng bill has also made Us ap
pearance in the Kansas legislature. In this line
of legislative reform Nebraska scored first. ,
AC the rate Uncle Sam sends 'ultimatums to
Mexican generals, the world's record of the late
sultan, Abdul Hamld, must be crowded off the
scoreboard. In' Wh records the efficiency of
ultimatums remains at sero.
Above the clash of armies and the wreckage
of earthquakes rises the question: "Does shirt
sleeve diplomacy comport with the sartorial
dignity of an American minister to the hobbled
republic of San Domingo?" In these troublous
time a flash of gaiety is a worldly benediction.
Rival statistics of the unemployed In New
York range from 220,000 In the World census
to 562,700 in the count of the Public. Forum of
the Church of the Ascension. The smaller num
ber is sufficiently Impressive to beajt ridicule on
the democratic claim that "hard times is a state
cif mind."
The graybearda of the' Douglas County
Pioneers', association should hav known the
attractions of the back seats without having th
knowledge hammered in. Of course the women
members did not intend to be rude about it,
but it Is necessary now and then to show mere
men where they get off.
I "
It la explained for the Wilson administra
tion that the customs money and taxes collected
during the occupation of Vera Crui is to be
held "for whatever government In Mexico is
eventually recognized by us." If the pot is big
enough, that will keep the Mexican bandits
fighting for, it till doomsday.
Defenders of the coroner's office in New
York JiiBtlfy its continued existence on two
grounds: Its ability to draft a Jury verdict
censuring corporations, and lt great age as an
Institution. As coroner's verdicts have little
bearing on subsequent litigation and length of
years is a diriment, the sole usefulness of the
Institution simmers down to the pickings.
Mia Miehaela haa been engaged as soprano of Bt.
.Mary's Avanue Congregational church, whoa choir In
cluuVa soma of the beat talent of tha city. It mem.
b, nhip now consists ut Miss Mavgle Boulter, organtat;
ilrn. M. JllchaeU. aoprano; Mlaa Orace A. Wilbur!
alto; Jay North.ruj, tenor; Revel R. France, baaa.
The concert for tlta benefit of 8. Citng.teln was
given at the Btadt thetter participated in by the Con
crdla aoclHy, tha Turner quartet, tha musical unloa
orchietra, 5lra. Itile-ALl. sir. Mulchia and Prof. A,
Walter.
There aeema to be gome difficulty In arranging
the prta right between McN'ulty and Miller. Tha
partite have met several times, but fall to com to
atUfatttory term.
B- Cunkllng. a nephew of Judge Mull, and
brother of Koaco Cimklinf, 1 vlaiUng friends in this
illy.
Frank Lanrhelne. manager of the depot eatlnt
huuee. left for hla old home In Carlisle. Pa., expectli.
to return in double harness.
Julius Fettner gave the first reheat J of the
Omuha Zither club before a number of specially In
lioJ frl.nda.
Mis. A. M Travis, profeesional nurse, has retuineil
fioia Fort Mohrara, a her she bas been nursing for
tie Wat two month In tli families of Lieutenant
Yt )li k and J'roaiK. and tan now be found at any
I line at her bom, IK J C'ailtomla street.
i
A Municipal Program.
The Bee submits that neer before was
there more need for the formation and adop
tion of a comprehensive scheme for utilizing
and developing Omaha's resources and provid
ing for Ita needs. Just now the public is listen
ing to the claims of various elements, each
supporting Its own pet. plan for betterment,
and each with some paramount reason to back
Its particular claims. This Is not unusual. The
main trouble has been In the past that too many
movements have been initiated and too few
pushed to conclusion. Efforts at Improvement
have been either desultory or perfunctory, and
have tried to cover too much ground to ac
complish much permanent good. The incoming
eommisson should be given a definite program
by the citizens, for Its guidance, and this pro
gram should be Instated upon.
Editing the State Department.
The secretary of state at Washington has
from time to time met with some difficulty
In separating his private and official capaci
ties. He haa frequently expressed In official
documents sentiments he has an undoubted
right to hold Individually, but which do not
voice the utterance of tha people of the United
States. For this reason, the senate has ap
pointed a committee to confer with Mr. Bryan,
especially dealing with the payment to Colombia
of $25,000,000 for the canal strip, and the
language of the message that goes with it.
The obsequiousness of our diplomatic deal
ings with Colombia clearly transcend the re
quirements of polite intercourse between na
tions. The secretary was very llkly led into
his extravagance of apology through a partisan
desire to discredit a former republican presi
dent. This Is not the only example of Ill-advised
correspondence emanating from the De
partment of State during the present adminis
tration. When "Pancho" Villa rides on his
raids through Mexico, he carries with blm a
note signed by Mr. Bryan, expressing appre
ciation for the "restoration of peace" and other
"services."
Admiration may be indulged for the efforts
of the administration to maintain itself on a
democratic footing; but the people have a
right! to expect more of dignity than has been
exhibited in our relations with the smaller
countries of the world. Not because they are
small, but because the United States is big, and,
while it is generous, it is entitled to command
respect. , ,
1815 and 1915.
A series of epochal events in the history of
tho year 18is are remarkable for their resem
blance to European history now In the making,
and in their unbroken relationship extending
through the century with the happenings of to
day. A comparison of these events with existing
conditions in Europe presents instructive coinci
dences and parallels which fashion a qualified
answer to the question, "Does history repeat
Itself?"
One hundred years ago Europe was warring1
against the military dictatorship of Napoleon.
The greatest battle of that struggle and the cli
max of the war were staged on the field of
Waterloo, a region which has been ravaged by
contending armies in tha present war. The
line-up of the allied nations in 1815 was notably
different from that of today. All Europe was
arrayed against Napoleon, with honors of valor
and victory divided between Briton and Prus
sian. Today the allies are Great Britain, France,
Russia, Servla and Japan, battling against Ger
many. Austria and Turkey.
Precisely as the allies of 1815 battled against
the domination of French militarism, the allies
of today claim that their fight la a fight against
tha military domination of the Germanic race.
The parallel affords tempting material for
prophecy and speculation.
The united Germany of today was not even
a kingly dream a century ago.. Prussia then
was the most powerful of the various surround
ing principalities and minor kingdoms, each jeal
ous of the other, without a semblance of unity
or cohesion. But In tat year of big events
Otto von Bismarck, the great Prussian states
man, was born. Destiny picked Bismarck to
mold and cast tha German empire In lts(present
form, with Prussia as the majter power In its
marvelous development. Thus1 in a large meas
ure the downfall or Napoleonlsm at Waterloo
freed Europe from the constant menace of 'mili
tary dictation and enabled the units of the Teu
tonic race to build the foundation Upon which
the superstructure of United Germany wa
reared. The defeat of the French In 1815 gave
Prussia a measure of its fighting power and the
second French defeat In 1870-71 completed Bis
marck's plans for the German empire.
In yet another significant way the kinship
of the two years is in evidence. a March of
the former year the treaty of Vienna was signed,
by which Italian provinces were ceded to Aus
tria. In the mighty Struggle of today the re
turn of these provinces' to Italy are generally
regarded as the price of Italian neutrality. By
the same treaty Belgium was ceded to Holland
and wiped off the map as an Independent king
dom. Now all the resources of the British em
pire, military and naval, are exerted for the
maintenance of Belgium as a buffer state.
One hundred years ago Poland was granted
a new constitution and Cracow 'declared a free
republic. Today Poland and Cracow, stripped
of independence and parcelled out between Rus
sia, Austria and Germany, are devastated by tha
mtgbty armies of nations responsible for the
plunder.
It seemt peculiarly fitting that 1815, the
year of gnat wars, great men and shaken
thrones, a'uould also have marked the organiza
tion of tha first peace society in the world.
In the years spanning the life of the Amer
ican republic there have been twenty-one dis
astrous earthquakes recorded in Italy, entailing
a life loss of 268,000, exclusive of the present
calamity. Despite the ever-present danger of
earth tremore, thousands of people occupy
homes on the sides of precipitous mountains
which a very slight shake would tumble down
hundreds, IX not thousands of feet. Even the
periodical belchlngs of Vesuvius do not scare
aay the thousands whose homes and gardens
cling to its sides.
jaaaassssasBWsssaBSfsBSBBBsasssBsa
It is to be hoped no indiscreet admirer of
President Wilson will spring on a defenseless
people the cup-of-coffee argument as an excuse
for repealing the one-term plsnk of the Balti
more platform.
The Political Caldron
The "city mntr" plan of municipal government
evidently has friends and advocates In Omaha.
You will bear It dlcUsed In various circle, yes,
even In the dty hall, but It is only fair to say that
It Is not loudly acclaimed by any of the present com
mlfteloriers. Our late defeated candidate for governor, now
hark on his tl.rxo Job as Rneral manager of the water
works. R. He her Howell in sKltatlng II.
"I'm convinced after carertil study of the plan."
eays Mr. Howell, ' (hat It Is the only eystem. We ll
coma to It in Omalia some day, as they have come
to It In Dsyton and elsewhere. It arnres lteelf out.
It Is tha business way of transacting the city- af
fairs. Put a man of proved ability and Integrity at
the head of affairs and let him iHect h!s subordlnat'S
all alone tho line and you'll get reunite such as
Omaha never .has and never will act under commis
sion or coundlmsnlc systems. The general manager
will feel keenly enough his responsibility for surround.
Ing himself with the proper caliber of men. There
need he no worry on that score. It will cut out
political favoritism, nepotism and other forms of
potential graft and Inefficiency."
Some buslneea men tske the same view, professing
now to see tha fallacy of the commission form, per se.
In the first place, it Is plain to any observer that
this commission form has effected little If atiy change
In method, but loaves the mattr where It was at firat.
purely one of personnel. , .
Even the dull old useless routine procedure In
council meeilmrs has been handeJ down and is still In
voirue under the present commission form. Attend
one of the commission's meetings and see for yourself.
For Instance at the regular session, C.iere is your city
clerk going through precisely the same tedious and
unnecessary routine of reading each document and
seven commissioners mumbling their "yeas" or
"nays" like a lot of warlocks at their incantations.
In other words, you will find many alert gentle
men In tha city willing to admit that the commis
sion plan haa not worked the wonders promised for it
In tha city of Omaha and that the time Is not remote
when something else will be demanded.
Speaking of Bill Vre, our pooh-bah .ounty, city,
water district and school district treasurer, reminds
one of a lot of quirt talk about that siime canny Scot
for. city commissioner.
Now, let It be understood that the talk Is not We's,
t least It doesn't seem to be. The matter was men
tioned to Ura and he Instantly choked off tha very
suggestion.
"I've Just been re-elected and entered upon my
term of office aa city and county treasurer," he said,
"and couldn't think of anything else now. It never
occurred to me, snyway, to turn my attentions toward
the city Job."
And fre undoubtedly meant Just what he said.
Yet certain gentlemen, astute In politics and keen -In
business, with a very high regard for Ure, personally
and otherwise, are giving him the "once over" a
about the right sort of a chap jto act aa tMa Mose
to lead the dty out of what they consider to be the
bondage of Egyptian politics.
Here's the point: The theory Is that In order to do
buetnea against Jim Dahlman and his band of war
riors, It la first necessary to find a leader, a pivotal
man. strong personally and successful politically, who
can poll vote as fast aa Jim can. In William O. Ura
these good folk seem to think they have such a man.
"He haa shown his running powers by landing first
money several timeshas gone out and got elected and
that against big odd." they argue, "and then, aa even
hla opponents will admit,, has made good In the of
fice. Now. why can't ha pitch In and lead the race
for tha city commission?"
( Now. onra more, it Is only fair to I're to say that
thia boosting game In not his. The writer put the
question to him. "What do you think about thl
proposition," and Ur flatly knocked It.
But this la the ky to tha approaching campaign.
Those who are out to wrest control of the city hall
from tha forces now In command, first want a leader.
The next thing would bo seven other men to go with
him. Than tha third thing would be another "right'
man to act aa manager of tha campaign.
Now, her is another llttla tip about thia manage
deal. It must not coma aa tha cart before the horse
In this race. That Is to say, let tha ticket let eight
good men and true get out into the limelight and de
clare themselves as candidate for city commissioners,
then let them go and select their manager.
See tha potnt? Simply to avoid some of the fatal
pitfall of three year ago. It will tend,-moreover,
to avoid tha chargea charge that hurtsof being a
bosa-named an bosa-rtdden ticket. Of course, three
years ago when the "clttsena" went out to "get" the
Dahlman bunch, they seemed really to search for
pitfalls Into which they might bury every possible
chance of winning.
Judge Sutton has been spoken of as a possible
"leader" of a new ticket or slate and yet the Judtffl.
himself, la hesitating. What bother him Is whether
to resign hla Judgeship and run or run without re
signing, because either might be hasai-dou. Then
another deterrent la, whether If he should run and
landed, ha could be sure of getting the mayorship.
Tha ' Judge at the present writing, doesn't seem to
care bo much about merely being a commissioner.
What ho might aspire to be la mayor of Omaha.' If
anybody can give lihn the key to tho combination
that will wlthdut fall open to him the look then, and
only then aa the case now stand on the . Judge's
docket will he consent to run.
I D. Hopkins, a solicitor for securities, residing
way up north In tho Twelfth ward. Is willing to serv
his city as commlaaloner. Ha Is one of many with
such ambitions who Is not afraid or ashamed to rorao
right out In the open and 'fesa up. He frankly admits
that ha wants to be a commissioner. In fact, he haa
had the official be buulng In hla bonnet for soma
Uttl time. He It waa' who aspired to Frank Bets
Job aa county commissioner, when a court decision
declared "no vacancy." whereupon ha matched with
Frank Dewey for the nomination of county clerk. Ha
la a genial flellow, of youth and vigor and la out to
do tho best he can ' with hla present ambition's,
though not aspiring to anything like "leadership" of
a ticket or alate.
Twice Told Tales
Tit far Tat.
On hla first vacation trip home after four jeart In
the Philippine a young army officer wa much
lionised. II speedily began to tir of It.
At a dance, after h had been Jerked about thl
way and that, a young ma a ruahed up to him ant
exclaimed: "Coma on. I want to introduce you to a
good-looking girl!"
"No, I don't want to meet her."
Tha young man insisted: "Oh. but you must, she
a queen." And I) wa so persistent that tha officer
finally in exasperation exclaimed: "All right, trot
ma up!"
They walked a short distance to where the woman
wa sitting, and the Introduction was made, the army
man making the conventional remark that he waa'glaA
to meat her.
Very coolly ah looked him over, and then replied:
"All right; trot him back.'-Everybody Magaalne.
Ui Jska.
"If women voted there would b no mora war-'
said Mrs. Inea Mllholland Bolasevain. "Women
would have voted, too. long sine, but for tha UbeU
circulated about her everywhere.
"And yet every one of these libels la easy to dis
provea easy as tha slandered wife found It.
"Thia wife aked her husband to tell her tha details
of a new partnership that ha had entered Into, but
ha shook his head and said, pompously:
" 'No, Jane, no; It's too Important. I roust not
tell you. It wouldn't do. Ton worn a eaa't keep a
aerret."
"Oh. what a darling of a duck af a sweet hat:"
kind of quiet bitterness. Van't we. dear? And yet
wheu have 1 ever told anybody about the night yau
took IT out o( Willie's bank, and got tight, and were
nested and fined for Insulting a chorus girl?"' Nv
York Mall
JI - ssTfa
7
Aska Aheat Darnm Wheat.
HOT FPBINOS. Ark.. Jan. 1. To the
Editor of The Bee: Will yo'J kindly
anowcr In your paper the meaning of
durum wheat. I read the wheat market
daily and do not understand what, durum
means. Answer a reader of The Flee.
Thanking you on advance.
lON'ORANCE.
"Macaroni" wheat originally came
from Russia, where It Is known by the
name of "durum." which mean hard.
It Is now generally designated on Ameri
can markets as durum instead of
macaroni. It produces from 40 to M per
cent mora than spring wheat, hut the
market for It has "been limited. The
present demand Is occaslonel by condi
tions In Europe. If the United States
become a greater macaroni or spaghetti
rating country, the field for durum wheat
will be widened.
Label the Donatio).
COLUMliUS,. Neb., Jan. !. To the
Editor of The Bee: Very nearly every
county In Nebraska Is contributing food
stuffs, clothes, or money to, the In
habitants of the devastated . Country of
Belgium. This bread being cast upon
the waters will return buttered. Im
migration will greatly . increase at the
close of the present strife, and Belgians
will be coming to America looking for a
state In which to locate and live. Men
who hava lost their property and money
by the war and are amicus to provide a
livlnp for their families fcnd themselv'e
aro desirable, citizens. Too, these people
save something from their income. Hard
working people with bank accounts are
good citizen. The state's production
depends upon its . citizens' capacity
for- work.. Men who have met re
verses not of their own making are in
most cases the men who rise again and
succeed. The Belgians are an Industrious,
ambitious, hard-working, and money
saving people. Soon they will b coming
to America, establishing homes, working
hard, developing bank accounts. "Of
such is the commonwealth of Nebraska."
"Nebraska" ought, to be written,
printed, pasted, sealed arrl painted on
every box, rarcel, and car sent to the
Belgians from each city and county In
the state which contributes. The atten
tion of these foreigners should be con
centrated on Nebraska end there Is no
better way of advertising this state than
by having those who receive Its con
tributions know that they came from
Nebraska. FRANCIS ECHOLS.
F:xrepta to Reproduced Articles.
OMAHA, Jan. l.-To the Editor of The
Bee: I note that you reproduce an
artlclo from the "Boston Transcript,"
"When United States Imported Arms."
whlfh la base.) entirely upon the follow
ing premises, quoting:
"That Germany should discountenance
the agitation of certain Ocrman-Arrierl-cans
assisted by the Ancient Order of
Hibernians to secure prohibition of ex
portation ef military supplies from the
United States Is perfectly natural."
Now auch comment would be pertinent
snd Important If it were true thst Ger
many, had discountenanced such agita
tion; but has it? If you will Investigate
the origin of that allegation, you will
find that there ts not only no basis In
fact for It, but also that It has been,
clever.) y manufactured for the purpose of
counteracting tha agitation against ex
portation of arms, which agitation was
started long before the Hitchcock bill
was Introduced. From this It would ap
pear that tha arguments of the Boston
Transcript and other papers who are
trying to make It appear that the Ger
man government has dlacountananced
such agitation, or that It did not want
th United States to stop the export of
arms, are but the setting up of a straw
man to shoot at In order to deceive, and
are In Una with many other systematic
misrepresentations of facta. As a matter
of course the conclusions of the Tran
script fall to piece with the falsity of its
premises. ,
A few weeks ago you reproduced from
the "Outlook" an article, "Neutrality ami
Export of Arms." There can scarcely
be another subject on which so much
sophistry and equivocation has been
uttered aa on tha. I will call attention
only to one argument made In the Out
look article, by which it attempts to
bolster up It claim that it Is not Immoral
or unneutral to supply arms to foreign
nations at war. It says. "Think of our
veteran; surely they are not murderers;
on th contrary we honor them, and those
of our people who supplied: our veterans
during the civil war with shoes and
blankets and guns are deserving of
credit. Only thos who . consider . our
Grand Army veteran aa legalised mur
derers can say that It ts wrong to supply
a belligerent nation with munitions of
war." '
Now who haa ever, dreamed or ex
pressed a thought that we should not
aupply our own army with shoes and
blankets and guns, as though It waa not
perfectly obvioua that supplying ones
own soldiers it not the question at all;
arvl the editor of tha OutloSk know it.
but wants to confuse the Issue, Not until
w have an alliance with some foreign
power can we make Ita armies' necessi
ties our concern. Or can It be that we
are already allied to England? Permit
me to say with an apology that your
scissors artist la either Injudicious or un
fortunate In his selections, at least that
Is th opinion a great many people hava
expressed In criticism of the two selec
tion referred to. A. U MEYER.
Mpti Bad state rrlatla Plaat.
OMAHA. Jan. 17. To th Editor of Tha
Bee: I notice every tira anyone sug
gest a way of making prisoners in any of
our penal institutions work tor their sup.
port someone who Imagines that hla Job
is endangered gets 'satirical. " It len't
much wonder that public officials grow
tired of trying. . They make as effort la
thl line and, while mildly Interesting th
maaa of tb people In whose behalf they
make th effort, they make a few good,
virulent enemies who nayer forget.
Just why should anyone object to men
working in peaitentiartea? If there are
printers In the Nebraska penitentiary,
they were printers before they went there.
When the state put them there It took
them out of competition with other print
era and no printer has a right to com
plain If th tue puts tham to work. It
Is nut adding to th number of printers
at all. And tha same Is true, no matter
what b tha occupation. What th atata
ought to do Is to go ahead with any
schema that will make Useful, self-supporting
me a and women of tha prisoners
and when thay are discharged. If what
they earn above their keep has sot been
already paid to their famines, give It to
them to make a new start In tha world.
And what good citisens outside tha peni
tentiary ought to do Is to atop this silly
rot about competition with the honest la
borer, and get behind any sane movement
In thia direction. No effort for reform In
this country will ever succeed until pub
lic officers become courareou enough to
disregard turn yawps. Maupln ought to
have more sense.
Everybody who has thought at all
knowa that our system of treating prison
ers In tha past couldn't have been worse
If we had done It deliberately, with a view
to making woree rather than bettor cltt
sena. We pen a man up, treat him like a
brute, support him In Idleness for sonv?
years, teach him nothing but hate, and
then turn him loose with nothing except
an indelible brand. Everybody known
that good, hard. Interesting work, health
ful surroundings and decent treatment
will, sometimes, work reform Maupln
knowa It Just aa well as anyone else, but
because the governor's suggestion hap
pens to touch his trade he Incomes
"satirical" and ridicules the whole thing.
It would have been Just tho same If the
suggestion had been In the line ot com
petition with tarpenters, bricklayers, hod
carriers or barbers. Someone would ob
ject. But In what way would any of them
be hurt? A carpenter out of the peni
tentiary, or a barber or bricklayer, would
be In competition with the others: why
not let him compete In the penitentiary?
We haven't created any carpenters or
'bricklayers or printers or barbers. You
haven't hurt anyone and you are trying to
help someone. Why not?
The state ought never to go Into cheap
business. It ought always to make a little
better brand of goods and charge. If any
thing, a little more for It. But tho state
ought not to pay any attention to these
gentlemen who find It funny when anyone
suggests a sane, senslhle solution of what
everyone knows to be a very delicate and
troublesome question.' Here's to th gov
ernor. H. W. MORROW.
OSc to. Albert.
OMAHA. Jan. 14-To the Editor of The
Beet In your Issue of January 11 I read
an account of King Albert of Belgium
and hla staff dtRging trenches, which
action haa cauned me to pen the follow
ing lines:
Of thy plucky 'ierds. King Albeit,
We speak with batgl breath,
Of thy courage and Tligr staunchness'.
Of thy riisTt-sard for death!
If I were not an American
How proud, sir, I "hould be.
To call myself a Belalan.
And serve a king like thee!
2806 Fort Street. -.'AM U MORRIS.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTMIS.
"Those detectives have Just arrested an
osteopath as a felon.''
"That must heve been a painful duty."
"Whv painful?"
"Pldn't It give th m a hone felon ea
their hands?" Baltimore American.
"Do von have trouble in rememberlag
to write 'inn?' "
"A great deal of trouble." admitted the
eminent statesman.
"You still cling to 'lAlt,' I suppose?"
"No. eir. The date I can't get off my
mind Is 'ljtl.' "Washington Star.
Smith Hello. Jones, old man! I suppose
you are going to name that new young
ster after that rich old uncle of yours?
Jones J don't think we will.
Smith Oreat Scott, man! Why not?
Jones Because the wife haa decided to
name it after that rich old aunt of hr.
Judge.
"That awfully rdaln Miss Fryte mar
ried a railway president, tlidnt she?"
"Yes. He had to get money somewhere
lor. a dividend.'" Cleveland Tlaln Dealer.
Kpli k How do you know that he Is a
foreigner?
Knock Well, he speaks good English
for one thing, nnd then I heard blm sine
the whole of the Stsr Spangled Banner,
end nn native American can do that.
Chicago News.
"Seems to he a diversity of opinion
about one thing."
"What is that?"
"Some old fogies seem to think a trunk
strap whs more elficacloUH In reforming a
had boy than a suspended sentence."
Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Mamma, when people are in mourn
ing, do they wear black nightgowns?"
"Why, no. of cottrue not "
"Well, don't they foel Just as bad at
night as they do In the daytime." Judge.
JANE JONES.
Here and There
There are all kinds of people In the
world. Including those who for some rea
son or other regard perfume as a neces
sity. Martin Green.- 84. of Worcester,' Mass.,
has handed his fortune of 2,000,0( to
trustees to keep It from his sons. Splen
did plan for a tearless funeral.
Th first baby gets a silver mug, a gold
ring an Ivory rattle and about fcJOO worth.
of fine baby clothes. But tha sixth baby
Is lucky If It gets tVo napkins and a
lo-cent bo of corn starch.
Ben King.
Jan Jones keeps a whispering to me all
the time. '
An says: "Why don't you make It a rule
To study your lessons, 'nd work hard 'ml
learn,
And never be absent from school?
Remember tho utory of Ellhu Burritt,
How he dumb, to tho top;
Got all the knowledge 'at h ever had
Down in the blacksmith shop."
Jane Jones she. actuullv eairi it in no
Mavbe. bn dlrl T riunno:
'Course, what's a-keeplng me 'way from
the top, .
Is not never havln' no blacksmith shop.'
She said 'at Ben Franklin was awfully
poor.
But full of ambition and brains.
An' studied philosophy all 'Is hull life
An' sec what he got for hla pain.
Ho brought electricity out of the sky
i'Wlth a kite an' the lightnln' an' key.
M we re owin ntm more n any one cise
For all tho aright lights 'at w see.
Jane Jones she actually said it waa so ;
Maybe he did I dunno;
'Course what's alters been hlnderln' me
Is not havln' any kite, lightnln' or key.
Jane Jones said Colambus was out ut
the knees
When he first thought up his big scheme:
An' all the Spaniards an' Italians, too.
They laughed and Just said 'at 'twas a
dream;
But Queen Isabella, sha listened to him.
An' pawned all her Jewels o' worth.
An' brought him the Santa Marlcr 'nd
said:
"Go hunt up the rest of the earth."
Jane Jones she honestly said it was so;
Maybe he did I dunno:
'Course that may all be, but you must
allow
They ain't any land to discover Just now.
Elizabeth was won by Nina Butts, 2-15 Laird St..
with 792 pictures. She is 1Q years old and attends the
Lothrop school
V,
t US' '
- t - -
Lady
is. the name we have
given the doll for this
week. When you see
her, you just can't help
exclaiming: Oh! "What
a pretty little lady. So
neat and trim. What a
fine little housekeeper
she must be.
tally will be given free to
the little girl under J 2 years
of age that brings or mails
uk the Urgent number of
doll's pictures cut out of the
Dally and Sunday Bee be
fore 4 p. ni. Saturday, Jan
uary S3.
Lady's picture will
be in The Bee, every
day this week. Cut
them out and a6k your
friends to save the pic
tures in their paper for
you, too. See how many
pictures of Lady you
can get, and be sure to
turn them in to The Bee
office before 4 p. m.
Saturday, January 23.
You can see "Lady"
at The Bee Office
The pair of skates for lat week was won by James
Pascale, 4021 Cuming St, who collected 178 pictures.
More Skates
for our Busy Bee Boys
Barney Barry. American Club. Nickel plated. Tempered
Welded bteal Bidea. Biaaa to fl. jcroper.o
This picture of one of the Skates will be la The Bee
every day this week.
Cut them all out and ask your friends to save tbs pic
tures la their paper for you, too. See how many pictures
you can get and bring them to The bee office.
The Skates will be given Free to the boy that sends us
the most pictures before, P. M. Saturday, Jsn. 23.