TITE OMAITA DAILY DEEi TUESDAY, MARCTI 22, 190.
e
Tiie Omaiia Daily Bee.
E. nOPE WATER, EDITOR.
PUBLISHED EVERT MORNING.
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THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY.
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
Btate of Nebraska. Doueiaa County, as.:
Georgo B. Txschuck, secretary of The Bee
Publishing Company, being duly sworn,
eys that the actual number of full and
complete copies of The Dally, Morning,
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the
inonin or tenruary, lam, waa aa iouowb
I SH, (.'!(
t WM
iBt.xno
4 SMMIBO
1 2it.r.(
2M,1H
t itft.MUt
18 30,4iW
J7 no.:70
18 ao,;tno
ai,M
'Jf) HO.BTO
a s7,art
22 ai,4
23 31.1NO
1 8M.NIKI
I .KMMtO
10 :t,MT
11 au.nto
12 nu.isn
13 ;to.ii4o
H ut.;!it
U 30.250
24 :t.t;i
26 HI.'JIO
ja HI.4KD
7 81.TUO
IK ST.tMMI
2j 8i,t::t
Total
Less unsold and returned coplea
. 0,19
Net total sales S87.4T2
Net average sales 20.013
OEO. B. TZSCIIUCK.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
before ma this 1st day of March, A. D.
1904. M. B. H UNGATE.
(Seal) Notary Public.
Colorado appears to be making a greut
effort to get Into the San Domingo class.
Mormon polyganilsts seem to be seek
ing vindication even from the Cannon's
mouth.
The campaign for civic Improvement
In Omaha Is on. Let every one lend
a band.
Spring Is here at last. If you are
still In doubt about It Just consult any
old almanac.
The Interests of the republican party
cannot be promoted by promoting a fac
tional political club.
L i m
Omaha fans are not superstitious and
still have hopes for the Omnha bnso
ball team, even though the name of tin;
new pitcher be "Dennis."
It is just possible Bret Harte might
have changed his mind about England
had he lived to see the British govern
ment favoring the use of "Chinese cheap
labor." - . : .
In sending u fleet to New Chwang
China may be conferring a favor upon
Russia, as the Russian mines will not
have to work exclusively upon friendly
ships.
Peru does not appear to fear absorp
tion by the United States or Its presi
dent would not have trusted himself in
the bands of Yankee sailors on board n
Yankee ship.
Great things are promised by its
champions aa a result of the scavenger
law decision. Property' owners who
liave been paying their taxes, however,
want to be shown.
Having sent an otllclal adviser to the
king of Slam, Harvard may put on airs
for awhile, but It will never know real
satisfaction until it shall have defeated
Yale again at foot ball.
An uncensored report of the meeting
between Admiral Evans and the era
peror of Germany which is to take place
in the Mediterranean sea would take
precedence over war news.
We are glad to know that the local
Bryanlte organ accepts The Bee's
diagnosis of the democratic malady as
correct. When the doctors agree there
may be some hope for the patient "
In ruling that, the statute of limita
tions does not run In cases before them,
members of the Interstate Commerce
commission have found still another dis
tinction between that body and courts
of law.
Russia having decided that Japan will
attack at one of five points on the Man
churian coast It is tip to the generals
of the mikado to discover a sixth place
for a fight and get there as quick as
possible.
While London bankers are serving
notice on the British government that
the London money market is in no con
dltlon to absorb further loans, it is
pleasing to note that United States
bonds continue to command more than
par even on that congested market
It would be interesting to know who
m paying the printing and postage bill
of the anti-Mickey campaign. The work
of this disinterested patriot would be
more effective If be would enclose his
card along with the anonymous circu
lars or put his address ou the euvelope
for return emergency.
The Sixth district congressional con
vention has already been held. First
district Nebraska republicans will nomi
nate their congressman today, and
the Fourth district will hold Its conven
tion tomorrow. Republicans of this
Second district are still waltiug the
pleasure of Mr. Blackburn to convene
himself In commute and tell what he
will tat tfcjoa d
rxTBLic laud legislation.
In his Inst annual message President
Roosevelt directed the attention of con
gress to the public land laws, which, be
sall, have In their operation conflicted
In many respects with wise public land
policy. A Mil 1ms pnssed the senate to
repeal the timber and stone act which
the supporters of the measure urge
would remedy some of the abuses that
are complained of and which the presi
dent bad in mind In calling the atten
tion of congress to these laws. It is
pointed out that under the law as at
present speculators and lumbering syndi
cates have been enabled to secure as
much of the public domain as they might
choose to acquire.
This the senate bill would remedy and
It la also claimed for It that It would
save the country from deforestation. It
provides that only the right to cut tim
ber be hereafter sold, the title to the
land to remain In the government, and
that the manner of cutting shall be reg
ulated by the secretary of the interior.
Thus the government would be enabled
to apply to what remains of the timber
hinds the rules of scientific forestry,
thereby preventing absolute denudation
and allowing the lands to yield a con
tinuous succession of crops by preserv
ing the young growth. The requirement
that the privilege of cutting be sold at
public auction, or to the highest bidder
under sealed proposals, would Insure to
the government something like the real
value of the timber. The mischief done
under existing laws, remarks the Phil
adelphia Record, could not be undone,
"but there would be consolation In the
assurance that herenfter the precious
t-ifta of nature would not be wasted and
future genorotions robbed for the sake
of enriching a few of the living." Tho
senate bill does not cover all that it is
undoubtedly desirable should be done re
garding the public land laws, but it is a
step In the direction which there Is rea
son to believe would have good results.
THE ACIC PtSSWK RULING
The ruling made last week by the com
missioner of pensions, with the approval
of the secretary of the interior, Is re
ceiving some criticism, chiefly on the
ground that It is a usurpation of au
thority on the part of the executive
branch of the government. There does
not upbear to be any good reason for
this objection to the ruling, which
merely modifies a policy that has long
prevailed. It is a broad and generous
Interpretation of the law of 1890, de
signed to do Justice to the old soldiers by
reducing the age limit at which hitherto
they have been entitled to receive a
peuslon. It Is believed that the new
ruling will meet the wishes of the union
veterans In the matter of service pen
sions and will be acceptable as a sub
stitute for a service pension bill. The
sentiment against such a measure has
been strong and has been met by equally
strenuous insistence in behalf of one. It
Is thought that now the movement for a
service pension bill will be stopped and
that a question which has been vexing
men of both parties in congress will be
satisfactorily disposed of.
The ruling will increase the annual
pension account, but to what extent can
not be definitely determined in advance
of its .application. An official of the pen
sion bureau is quoted as saying that the
modification of the existing age pro
vision will add about $5,000,000 to the
rolls the first year and considerably more
than that in the second year, but be
thought that after the third or fourth
year the extra disbursements on account
of the ruling will begin to decrease and
as the years go by the decline will be
rapid. There Is really no way, how
ever, of telling at present how many of
the old soldiers will be benefited. Not
every one who has reached the 62-year
limit win apply for the $0 per month
pension and in a large majority of In
stances those who do will need It and
who Is there will say they are not en
titled to the small stipend. The average
age of the survivor of the civil war Is
04 and about 40,000 die every year. This
number will Increase rapidly from now
on, so that the addition to the pension
account from the new ruling will not be
a very great sum and will decline
steadily after a few years. There are
not many of our people, we believe, who
are disposed to find fault with the new
urrangement.
DKMWRATS AM) THt TRV3T8.
The effort of democrats to persuade
the people that when their party was In
power it made every practicable effort
to enforce the anti-trust law will not
prove errective. xne recora aoes not
sustain the claim, even with the support
of Mr. Cleveland himself, who in an
Interview attempts to explain why
more was not done under his second
administration to give effect to the Sher
man act of 1890. The ex-president Is
quoted in an interview as saying that
he was most anxious to have something
done and closely examined the law with
the then attorney general, Mr. Olney,
"but we were blocked by decisions of
the supreme court, which, at that time,
tied our hands."
We think this will be very generally
regarded as a very lame and unsatls
factory explanation. The simple fact
is that Mr. Olney regarded the antl
trust law as defective and inadequate,
If not unconstitutional, and he was able
to persuade Mr. Cleveland, whose legs
attainments are not of a very high
order, to accept his view. What other
influences may have operated to assist
Mr. Olney in this it Is impossible to say,
but it is pretty well known that Mr.
Cleveland had friends connected with
large corporations, while his attorney
general had long been associated with
them. Judge Harmon, who succeeded
Mr. Olney as attorney general, simply
adopted tha letter's view aa to the lm
perfection and Inadequacy of the anti
trust law, which had become the settled
conviction of the administration. It Is
not denied that there was prosecutlo
under the law during (be Cleveland ad-
ministration, bnt it waa conducted In a
perfunctory way and there was but a
single success achieved in a case brought
during that administration, though It
must be admitted it was important.
When Mr. Cleveland was elected in
1802 a congress was chosen with blm,
yet it did nothing to strengthen the
anti-trust law, notwithstanding the
opinion of the administration that it
needed to be strengthened. Beyond in
corporating in the tariff act of 1804 n
provlsloq aimed at a single combination
the Sugar trust the democratic con
gress did nothing to check the growth
of trusts or to suppress or regulate
those then in existence. The leaders in
that congress were unmlstaklably under
trust influence and it is not to be
doubted that the same was the case
with the administration, or at any rate
with its legal advisers.
The democratic record in regard to
the industrial combinations to which
the anti-trust law applies is not one
upon which that porty con make a fair
claim to popular confidence and sup
port The party has been most profuse
in proclaiming opposition to trusts, but
when it had the opportunity to attack
them it failed to improve it. And today
the trust magnates are hoping that the
democracy will "nominate for president
Grover Cleveland or some equally "con
servative" man, confident that with such
a one in the presidency they would be
secure against any attempt to enforce
the laws, however flagrantly they might
be violated.
FONTAKCLLt f ACTIOS A LISM.
The Bee has been asked for advice by
a number of republicans who are being
Importuned to Join the "Fontanelle club"
under the assurance that it is what Its
bylaws profess "a club for the advance
ment of the Interests of the republican
party" in city, county and state. The
Bee believes In the efficacy of repub
lican clubs to assist party organization
In carrying on campaigns and inculca
ting republican principles. But The Bee
does not believe in factional knifing
clubs organized on the "rule or ruin"
plan.
A perusal of the scheme of organiza
tion of the "Fontanelle club" embodied
In Its bylaws will quickly disclose the
fact that it is a factional club only, be
lying the object it pretends to subserve.
While purporting to be a wide-open club
hich any republican may Join, it is In
fact a close corporation in the hands of
the same bushwhacking self-seekers
ho have masqueraded In successive
campaigns under the name of the "U.
Grant club," "The Patriotic league,"
The General committee," etc., and
whom The Bee has more lately dubbed
The Gophers," because of their under
ground work in the dark to undermine
republican nominees not of their faction.
Under the bylaws the officers of the
Fontanelle club," consisting of presi
dent, executive committee chairman, re
cording secretary, financial secretary
and treasurer, are to be chosen annually
by the executive committee. The ex
ecutive committee of nine members shall
be chosen by the board of governors for
terms of three years, one-third retiring
each year. The executive committee
appoints the ward or district captains
and captains of affiliated precinct or
ganizations. Finally the board of gov
ernors Is made up of the officers of the
club, the members of the executive com
mittee, the ward or district captains and
captains of affiliated precinct organiza
tions. ' Thus the seat of power goes
around In a circle and all the authority
of the club not vested In the officers and
executive committee is vested in the
board of governors. How the original
board of governors to select the first ex
ecutive committee should be constituted
the bylaws fall to state, the inference
being that like Topsy, it simply
growed."
Incidentally, the executive committee,
subject to the board ci governors, is to
hove authority to determine the assist
ants ond employes necessary to carry
out the purpose of the club, to appoint
the same, to define their duties and to
fix their compensation in a word, to
spend all the money that the treasurer
may be able to collect. Inasmuch as
the official roster is said to have been
entirely completed by the factionalism
on the inside before the general lnvita
tlon to republicans to Join was issued.
the privilege of membership now con
Slsts of contributing a five -dollar lnltla
tlon fee and quarterly dues at the rate
of four dollars a year for the toard of
governors and the executive committee
to absorb. If five hundred or a thou
sand republicans could be inveigled into
this scheme the official Junta would cer
talnly have a soft thing.
While the avowed purpose of the
"Fontanelle club" is to promote the in
terests of the republican party, its se
cret purpose and real mission Is to con
duct a campaign to capture republican
primaries in the Interest of particular
candidates endorsed by the ruling au
thorities. There Is nothing to prevent a
faction from organizing for this purpose,
if It sees fit but there is no need of an
organization of this kind for the rank
and file of republicans because the regu
lar party organization furnishes all the
machinery that Is necessary to conduct
the regular campaign. The county com
mlttee of Douglas county is now organ
Ized on the basis of voting districts. It
Is an organization in which all factions
have representation according to their
strength In the several voting districts,
One side or the other must naturally be
in the majority, but there is nothing to
prevent control passing from the ma
jorlty to the minority should the latter
make sufficient gains to become the ma
Jorlty. The regular organization can
take care of all the contributions any
one may make to promote the interests
of the republican party in defraying the
legitimate expenses of every republican
eamrmlen so that republicans of a be
nevolent disposition with five-dollar bill
to put up for republican success will do
butter, to send them direct to tha treaa-
urer of tha city, county or state committees.
It is intimated that tha enactment of
the scavenger law with tha prospective
salvage on delinquent taxes may make
It unnecessary to vote the proposed
bond Issue to fund outstanding Douglas
county warrants. Inquiry should be
made at once into this phase of the
situation and if the bonds are not neces
sary it will be unnecessary to hold the
proposed election and the county board
can still act accordingly.
The World-Herald repudlatea the
three democratic members of the
United States supreme court who filed
dissenting opinions in the merger case
and denies that tbey are democrats. If
they thought it worth while these
Judges would doubtless reciprocate the
compliment and repudiate the democ
racy of the World-Herald.
The consensus of public opinion is
that our next school superintendent
should be an experienced educator
rather than a mere wire-pulling politi
cian. The people of Omaha are paying
out enough money for their pnblic
schools to have a school system equal
to the very best and they are entitled
to their money's worth.
Smiled and Passed It Vp.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Uncle Joe Cannon's boom was a Joke, and
it Is to Uncle Joseph's credit that ha waa
one of the first to see It
Oae Rare Advantage.
Denver Post.
President Smith enjoys one rare advan
tage that Is denied we monogamous fel
lows. When one wife Is engaged In spring
house cleaning he can go and camp with
another until the trouble Is over.
Get Busy.
Atlanta Constitution.
Prof. McOhee, an eminent phrenologist,
says that the head of the Japanese "has
a tendency to brachyecphaly In the gross
types and dollchocephnly in the fine types."
Ixok It up for yourself If you have a dic
tionary. TIe Poor Boy's Chance.
St. Louis Republic.
There are Just two things necessary for
advancement work and ability. The poor
boy who works, who does what he can
for his employer, who takes an Interest
in the business, who isn't expecting $1
for every 6 cents worth of time he puts
In, who does by his employer as ha would
want an employer to do by him, la going
to get along In this world today. He will
not be one of the failures.
Need of I'nlform Divorce Law.
Philadelphia Press.
If anything were needed to convince the
nation of the need of a uniform marriage
and divorce law It will be found In the
testimony of the president of the Mormon
church before the senate committee. He
acknowledges that he has five wives and
that he takes turns In living with each one
of them, and that other Mormon apostlea,
un two or inree exceptions, live In a
similar way. It la In defiance of the law.
but thoy do not care for that. Aa thia de.
fiance of law is something for the state of
Utah to deal with and not the United
states, no punishment Is inflicted. The
marriage question should be under the gen
eral government. In that case this foul
crime could not exist, and no church could
protend to have a divine revelation In favor
of polygamy. A constitutional amendment
to bring about this desirable reform ought
not to be difficult to obtain.
rnpnnlahed Crimes.
Springfield (Mass.) Republican.
The punishments Inflicted upon the Klehl-
neff rioters by the Russian court Involve
twenty or more persons, who were un
doubtedly ringleaders. All of these have
been condemned to terms of Imprisonment
ranging from one to twenty years. Doubt
less the punishment can be criticised as
unduly mild, but suppose we compare Rus-
sla's treatment of Ita rioters with our treat
ment of lynchers. No participant In at least
six horrible atrocities the past year or two.
Including several burnings at the stake,
has even been arrested. Of punishment our
lynchers and burners get none. Nothing
ever occurred In Russia surpassing In
flendtshnesa the Doddsville burning and tor
ture a month ago. Even Springfield, O., Is
debarred from casting stones at the Rus
sians. Why cannot we punish our lynchers
at least as severely as the czar's govern
ment punishes the Klshlneff rioters T
KING COTTON GETS A FALL.
Chicago Inter Ocean: It Is well that the
cotton "corner" has been broken, and it
s to be hoped that the consequent ruin
of personal fortunes will prove a salutary
lesson to future "Napoleons of the mar
kets."
Chicago Chronicle: No one knows how
much Sully waa worth, but it Is estimated
that he lost $6,000,000 In a single day. Like
all who adopt that method of making
money, he went up like a rocket and came
down like a stick.
New York World: Cotton King Bully
has followed King Letter, King Harper and
all the long line of "kings In exile" who
have seemed to succeed for a brief mo
ment In cornering the necessaries of life,
and have ended, like Curtis Jadwln In "Tha
Pit," In being cornered by them.
Milwaukee Sentinel: The passing of
Sully Is Interesting also from the stand
point of the onlooker. It ought to teach
him that, while one kind of gambling Is
not more productive of permanent profits
than another, gambling In staples will
lose his mcney for him faster than any
other brand.
Springfield Republican: That must have
been an enlightening scene which the New
Tork cotton exchange presented yesterday
afternoon when the Sully failure waa an
nounced and tradera. In paroxysms of
despair or elation, engaged In a rough-and
tumble fight. In which the clothing was
torn and furniture smashed. Thus the
semblance to a frontier card game waa
preserved to the last In this particular oaaa
of high class gambling.
Chicago Record-Herald: Sully carried
through lila apectacular deal In January
only to reap disastrous failure In March,
The Instances of men of tha Sully type
"quitting the game" after a successful
deal are few and far between. The
gambling fever does not subside until the
crash cornea that carrlea widespread ruin
to many and demoralisation to a pro
ductive Industry and the legitimate bust
nesa Interests dependent upon It.
Kansas City Star: The case Is by no
means peculiar. The successful specula
tor who becomes overconfident, tries to run
a corner and Is pulverized In the attempt,
Is familiar figure In American market
history. Natural laws which are always
at work eliminating the unfit rarely allow
the too greedy speculator to escape. Oc
caalonally a rare combination of qualities
may save him, but aa a rule the man who
trtsa to hold up society and pick lta
pockets Is overwhelmed. He may win for
a time whom the gods would destroy they
first make mad but la tbe end be rarely
survives,
TALK AflOCT THE WAR,
Pleatlasr Gesslst Bearlaa; cm
the
Riatu la the Orient.
Captain Bdmond Morgan of Kokomo,
Ind., ts a veteran of the siege of Sebesta
pol, having participated In that historic
conflict as a sailor In tha British navy. He
Is also a veteran of the American civil
war, at one time commanding the gun
boat Springfield. The captain entertains a
very high opinion of Russian valor on land
and see. and Is confident that the "glacial
giant of Asia" will win out. In an Inter
view with a correspondent of the Chicago
Chronicle Captain Morgan said: "Sooner
or later, by arms or tfy diplomacy, Russia
will get Corea."
The captain la of the opinion that the
Russian army will demonstrate a repe
tition of the fine engineering feats displayed
by General Todleben In the Crimean con
flict However, he does not hesitate to
express an Indifferent opinion of the Rus
sian navy and Its efficiency.
He said the Japanese, like the English,
would have a perilous feat to perform.
"Many a night we would creep past the
land batteries, in a single one of which
seventy-two guns were belching out shell
to wipe us out of existence. These safely
passed, we would slowly anil, hugging close
to the tiers of sunken vessels, only to find
ourselves In the waters before Fort Con
srantlne? And what was Fort Oonstanllne?
Three tiers of guns trained from massive
masonry, the whole roofed with erth and
capped with a mortar battery. The front
was protected with railroad iron. In the
rear of Fort Constanttne was the wasp
battery ready to pour ita destructive fire
Into our wooden vessel. Now a torpedo
boat will travel thirty miles an hour. We
spun along at eight miles. It was a perfect
rain of shell when Captain Lyons was
struck. Our tactics were to ascertain the
range of the guns of the shore batteries,
and we would sail Just within the line upon
which the shell pour in a torrent, but fall
short. As the enemy would learn our tac
tics they would nnrrow the line and still
we would sail within and nearer the forts
and the sunken vessels.
"I have passed the sunken Russian vessels
many times. If the same line of defense
were pursued at Port Arthur the Japanese
should be able to pass alongside and de
liver then- fire upon the land batteries.
However, the question presents Itself. Is
so near an approach as necessary now as
then?
"Don't forget that the Russians know
how to deliver staggering blows even
upon the sea. Remember their destruction
of the Turkish flying squadron. The Rus
sians at Slnope slipped down and sent It
skyward, killing 4,000 men out of 5,000. I
saw the fragments of the ships, men and
guns piled upon the shore, snd this was
patent evidence of Russian adroitness and
expedition.
"Russia will hold Port Arthur for a
long time. Beaten on land and sea and
driven out of it, It may regain It."
Rice, the chief food of the Japanese, Is
tho most lmportnnt crop, and In isno 205,
667,8flO bushels were produced. Rice land Is
worth nearly three times other arable land,
and In 1900 nearly 7.000,000 ncres were culti
vated as rice fields. A great quantity of
rice Is used In the manufacture of sake,
and In 1900 171,061,000 gallons were produced
from 27,789 establishments. Bnrley was
raised In 1900 on 1,679,096 ncres, yielding 42,
691,056 bushels; rye on 1,697,850 acres, yield
ing 37,176,867 bushels;' wheat on 1,147,747 acres,
yielding 21,006,776 bushels. In 1900, 736,933
acres were devoted to the silk culture, and
120,702 acres to tea, which produced 62,210,100
pounds. Japan raises more cereals and other
food products than she needs herself, so
even should she be cut off by Russia from
the rest of the world she could support her
armies as well as her own Inhabitants.
The climate of Manchuria may be re
garded aa good. The heat of the summer
quite bearable and the bright. crlsD
weather throughout the long winter Is most
healthy and agreeable, provided the north
wind Is not blowing. In winter at midday
me sun shining through an exquisitely
clear atmosphere is so warm that moder
ately thick clothing, with the ears cov
ered, is all one requires, but in the early
morning or after sunset, and above all,
when a northerly wind la blowing, furs are
necessity. Spring and autumn are both
ahort. In the aouth plowing begins early
in April and by the end of June or begin
ning of July the wheat harvest la com
plete. July and August are the hottest and
wettest months, but in a country extend-
ng through 16 degrees of latitude there are
considerable variations In temnnratura
throughout tha country, the rigor of the
climate Increasing as the north la sd-
pro ached.
The ladies of the court of Japan live In
a separate building, from which a covered
gallery leads to the palace. Japanese eti
quette Is so complicated that these women
spend a seven-year apprenticeship to learn
their duties. Each has her own apartment
and even her own cook.
The woman of present-day Japan Uvea
under far more liberal lawa than her mother
did. There la now a law of divorce by mu
tual consent. Women lecturers are not un
known. Children of both sexes are educated
together in the primary schools, a
tning mat norrines conservative grand
mothers. There are women lawyers In To
kio; and, although their entrance Into the
medical profession Is frowned upon, that
prejudice win give way in time.
Not only have many Japanese women
adopted the European costume, but some
even wear trousers.
PERSONAL NOTES.
The Kentucky legislature haa appropri
ated 120,000 for a atatue to the late William
Qoebel.
Once more Justice roots Itself Into tha
affection of mankind. A Chicago Solomon
refused to order a disobedient wife to cook
her husband's meals.
Denmark's kings for 888 yeara have all
been named Christian or Frederick. It la
the unwritten law of Denmark that Chris
tlan must be aucceeded by Frederick and
Frederick by Christian.
Chan Mun Bbang, a prominent Chtneae
realdent of San Francisco, is at the head of
a movement for elevating the condition of
his countrymen at home and abroad. He
waa in Washington last week and called to
pay hla respects to the president.
The State School Book commission of
Georgia recently adopted for use In the
schools of that state a history of the
United States written by a native Georgian,
Miss L. A. Field, which la said to satisfy
the sentiments of that section. It Is bound
In confederate gray cloth.
Tha moat condensed debate ever heard In
tha House of Commons Is aald to have been
one once taking place between Sir William
Harcourt, recently retired from public Ufa
and Lord Randolph Churchill. Irritated
beyond endurance at Lord Randolph, Sir
William leaned across the table to where
he sat and aald: "You little ass!" "Yon
d d fool!" returned Lord Randolph and
that was all.
The Evanaton Phlloaophy club, composed
exclusively of married women, has reached
a conclusion on the problem of keeping
the love of husbands In good working
order. It Is not a new conclusion by any
means, having been exemplified on that
historic occasion when Eve passed the
applea to Adam, but the reasoning la in
atructlve. Listen: "Animals are peace
fully disposed when well fed. Man Is an
aalmaX XWeXora, feed tha brute."
THERE IS f.'O SUBSTITUTE POli
mm
Absolutely Pure
IT IS A
ARMY GOSSIP IN WASHINGTON.
Matters of Interest Gleaned from the
Array and Navy Rea-later.
Captain Grote Hutcheaon, Sixth cavalry,
who haa been on duty at Governor's Island,
reported for duty to General Chaffee on
Wednesday and has Tjeen assigned to the
offl.ee of the chief -of-staff as the aid of that
officer. Captain Hutcheaon was foimerly
of the staff of General Chaffee and Is ad
mirably qualified for the new responsibili
ties Imposed upon him In Washington.
The paymaster general of the army has
Issued orders to the effect that check bonks
of paymasters should be kept In condition
for Inspection by an Inspector general,
chief paymaster or other authorised In
spector, at any moment. With this In view,
certain instructions are published, which
must be strictly observed, to secure uni
form method In keeping deposit and check
accounts.
There are twenty vacancies In the Junior
grade of the army medical department and
candidates for the places will be examined
beginning April 18. A second class of candi
dates will be examined on May 2. There
will be two boards of examination this
year. One will convene In Washington and
the other In 8an Francisco, where there
are a number of candidates.
The army hospital corps men who have
been at Tale university taking part In tho
nutritional experiments at that Institution
will be relieved from duty on April 6. They
have contributed to an Important sclentlUc
Investigation and return to their military
tasks wth the high commendation of the
people at New Haven. Of the command,
two sergeants, one corporal, nine privates
and private of the first-class will go di
rectly to the World's fair grounds nt St.
Louis. The others will be distributed to
different points In the Department of the
East.
The qjartermaster general of the army
has approved the recommendation to de
vote 15 per month to each army hand. This
sum will be expended In the purchase of
music and ought to furnish tho organisa
tions for whose benefit the allotment Is
made an appreciable quantity of new com
positions. Hitherto material of this kind
has been acquired by indirect and some
times personal means. At many posts the
band is furnished with Its sheet music
through the generosity of Individuals. At
other places there has been a draft upon
certain funds accumulated from the savings
of the enlisted force. In any event, the
money did not come from tho public treas
ury, as It might well have, Jfiasmuch as
the army band Is a governmental Institu
tion and Is entitled to decent support.
The general order giving detailed Instruc
tions to inspectors general and to acting
inspectors general of tho army haa been
delayed in Issue, owing to some minor
changes which have been agreed upon In
conference between General A. R. Chaffee,
chief of staff, and Inspector General Bur
ton. Previous instructions of tills kind
were Issued aa long ago as 1S66, although
two years later the then Inspector general
of the army, General Schrlver. published a
circular of similar Import. Since that time,
of course, there have been many changes
In the army In organization, equipment
and administration, and officers detailed to
the Inspector general's department find the
army regulations somewhat meager In pre
scribing their duties. It has been found
that one of the first things asked by officers
detailed to this Important duty Is that they
be furnished with some Information which
will aid them In performing the work de
volving upon them. The new regulations
will be quite comprehensive and specific.
The War department has prepared Itself
for almost any sort of legislation which
may be enacted during the present session
of congress In relation to the promotion
of officers of civil war record. The Teller
amendment Incorporated by the senate In
the army appropriation bill ls a wide
sweeping provision, more embracing In its
effect than any other proposition of kin
dred character. It permits the advance
ment of all officers of civil war record with
few exceptions. The latest compilation of
the adjutant general's office shows that of
the officers on the active list below the
grade of brigadier general who had civil
war service prior to April 9, IMS, exclu
sive of cadet service, forty-five are colonels,
twenty-eight lieutenant colonels, fourteen
majors, nine captains and four chaplains
Those similarly situated who had cadet
service Include ten colonels, twenty-four
lieutenant colonels and three majors. There
are two officers on the active list who saw
service In the navy, but not In the army,
during the civil war. Officers of civil war
Ay
If you feel run down, are easily tired, if your
nerves are weak and your blood is thin, then
begin at once to take the good old standard
family medicine Ayer's Sarsaparilla. It in
vigorates, strengthens, refreshes. Ask yovr
doctor all about this. He knows. Trust him
eXCOaseWls,
laactsta.
OF HEALTH
record who were retired under special act;
of congress Include three captains of th'
mounted class, four captains of the dls
mounted class and one second lieutenant
The list of retired officers below the grad
of brigadier general who had civil wa
service prior to April , 1RC5, exclusive o
those who received an advance of grudo oi
or since retirement and of those retlrei
tinder special act of congress embraces in
colonels, fifty-two lieutenant colonels, sov
enty-elght majors, thirty- seven captains
mounted; ninety-seven cuptnlns, n
mounted; fifteen chaplains, ten first lieu
tenants, mounted; thlrty-ono first Ileuten
ants, not mounted, and six second lieu
tenants.
TROIBI.B AT IIOMB.
Crumbs of Comfort for the Opponent
of Bryanlsm.
Chicago Chronicle
''Villlam "Bennett" Bryan seems to b
having trouble with the democrats of Ne
braska as well aa with the last wills an
testaments of deceased silver enthusiast
In Connecticut.
When the Nebraska democratlo commit
tee met the other day Mr. Bryan's follow
era had orders to call the convention fo
Lincoln In April. An early convention dom
Inated by the peerless snd Incorniptlbl
spokesman for the silver trust could no
fall to strike terror to the hosts of plu
tocracy everywhere,
It appears that Mr. Bryan's henchme
did not control. Instead of calling the con
ventlnn for April It was called for Jun
When the June roses are In bloom no on
will care much what Mr. Bryan's retainer
In Omaha and Lincoln want to do.
There Is a vigorous brand of demnerae
In Nebraska. Mr. Bryan mannged to sur
preps It for a time ,but If It shall nppen
at the St. Louts convention with regula
credentials, or as a protesting and boltln
delegation, it should be welcomed with opc
arms,
FLASHES OF FIN.
"You get a free pass over the railroa
don't you?" his wife asked him.
"Why h'm I thought It was free whe
It was first sent to tiie, was the guard1
reply of the young congressman. ChlcaiJ
1 1 lbunc.
"Have you tried to do good with yoi
money ;- asxea me man or man tnor;
alms.
'I should say so," answered Senator Bo
(hum. l started with noo and am no
worth minions, if that un t doing prett
good, I dot) t know what Is." WaHhlngt
Star.
The professor, while crossing the mud
street, slipped and fell.
Whereupon the woman Just behind hi!
with the bundles In her arms, uttered
piercing little shriek.
"Thank you, madam," said the profassi
picking himself up, "for drowning my has
remark." Chicago Tribune,
"What do you think about this schema
divide the year into thirteen months
twenty-eight days each?"
"It's all right. Increases the number
pay days, doean t K7 Cleveland Pla
Dealer.
"Aha!" exclaimed the villain on the stas
"the plot thickens."
"Hughl" grunted the disgusted Mr
cookie It won't Jell."Phlludelphla Press.
Ha fm . L. ...,,, I n . . a n 1 1 , n n n .'I'll I. . .
"It beats all," said Uncle Eben, "ho
much mo- mos' men knows 'bout ho
racln' dan dey does 'bout be Bible and 1l
constitution ox aa united BlatuB: v-Wasl
I .... . u . fc
LOVK SONNETS OP A MORMON. 1
i
William F. Kirk In Milwaukee Sentinel.
L
My darlings, when I gaze Into your eyes
And feel the pressure of your little hand
My soul Is wafted to far eastern lands
Back to the days of Solomon, the wise.
Who had some better halves about ym;
else.
I see your wedding rings slight, goldc
And know that if my creditors' dsmancf
Become too urgent, 1 can puwn such ties.
Come, precious helpmates throw your din
pled arms
Around my aged neck one at a time!
I am bewildered by such wealth of charni
And sing your praises In this spavin,
rhyme.
No ancient shepherd e'er had fairer flock
Tell me, have any of you darned n
socks?
II.
I wrote a pretty epigram today.
Something like this, my little ones: "
knives
Can cut our love In two, my darlli
wives."
Ain't that Just swell? I Ilka It. anyway
I am engaged to sixteen morn. Hoora
I know shall be happy all our lives.
Albeit I'm nearly broke from buylt
hives
And now 1 need another twelve-horse aha
Call in pt names;
tell me I'm all t)
. woras;
Oret me with klssea when I strike t)
door;
No Mormon wife her obligation shirks
Klc me not all at onos, but three
four.
Here, .Number Ten, open the windows win
And dust thai motto: -no jtaca nuiciue
Sarsapari lla
believe Avar's Saxsaparilla will cure
case of rheumatism. It cured me.
have seen it care many others dur
ing tha past twenty-five years." G. A.
DiBaum, Bloomfield, Ma.
O. Arm Oe., LewsU. aUsa.
