The Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Cherry Co., Neb.) 1896-1898, February 04, 1897, Image 3

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GOEGEJ BUT GREEDY
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1 ALLEGED NEED FOR HIGH TAR
IFF IS ALL HUMBUG
Under Normal Conditions the Present
Law Is Sufficient Instructive Fig
nrca from Statement of Foreign
Trade Republicans Degenerated
The Main Object
The organs of Republicanism are con
tinually asserting that the main object
of the bill which Mr Dingleys com
mittee is hatching is to supply more
revenue
if they are sincere why is it that they
either ignore or dismiss with a sneering
line a bill recently introduced in the
House by Representative Goodwyn of
Alabama The bill is a short one It
provides simply for doubling the pres
ent tax on beer and other fermented
liquors
There is nothing elaborate about it
There is no reason why there should be
It is so plain that anybody can under
stand it and it requires no new ma
chinery and no additional officer or em
ploye for the collection of the increased
tax Even at the increased rate the tax
would be far lighter than that on dis
tilled spirits
This bill would produce an additional
revenue of at least 30000000 a year
It yould bring all this revenue into the
puwc treasury and not put a dollar
into the private revenue of any million
aire philanthropist who pretends to live
only to promote the happiness of his
hired men And this revenue would
begin to come into the treasury
which is precisely what the or
gans profess to want They claim to
be distressed about a deficit not pros
pective but present Here is a chance
to furnish relief inside of two days if
only the Republicans in Congress
would And the relief would be suf
qieut and more than sufficient The
pretense that we need GO000000 a year
more revenue is all humbug Under
normal conditions the present law
would produce all the revenue needed
and more than all for any purpose save
that of getting ready for a fo f urn blood
banquet The proposed increase in the
beer tax would easily tide over until
the return of normal conditions if the
war dogs would stop their baying long
enough to permit normal conditions to
be restored
Then why is it taken for granted
with evident satisfaction in all Repub
lican quarters that the Goodwyn bill
lias been pigeon holed by the Republi
cans of Mr Dingleys committee and
will never reappear Obviously be--cause
the pretense that their main ob
ject is to raise more public revenue is
false Their main object is something
else They are well pleased because
the present administration has accumu
lated a sufficient surplus to keep things
going until they can accomplish t their
main object-
- rase a sufficient revenue is one of
I kf -
MgrSie easiest things in the world Con-
gress could do it in forty eight hours
-and not shed a drop of sweat But it
takes much longer to frame a bill to the
satisfaction of all the numerous inter
ests that are hankering after more
private revenue out of the pubiic pocket
That is why nothing has been done
when everything necessary to provide
government revenue could have been
done easily before the holiday recess
That is why all the hearings have
been granted If the object had been
to raise revenue there would have been
jio need of a single hearing Did the
-drug men the pottery men the iron
men the cotton goods men the wool
men and all the others go to Washing
ton to be heard about raising revenue
for public use Not a bit of it Every
liunjrrv jackal of the lot would lausrh at
such a suggestion
Ift The main object of the tariff revision
which is going on is to meet the de
mands of the selfish and the greedy who
fattened the campaign fund upon the
2 understanding that they should have a
chance to recoup themselves from the
pockets of the people just as soon after
election as a Congress convened for
that purpose in extra session could be
induced to act The problem which re-
sn irmHi tfnip for flip snlntfnn is
t to satisfy the interests without waking
aip the victims
The Grand Old Humbug
The degeneracy of the Republican
party is nowhere more strikingly seen
than in the State of Illinois The party
was once eager for power not for the
mere sake of spoils but for the enforce
ment of an idea Originally designed
to prevent if possible the extension of
slavery in the Territories it became
under the leadership of Mr Lincoln the
emancipator of the slave wherever
found under the American flag and
with the cordial support of war Demo
crats who constituted a large part of
the armies of the Union suppressed
the slaveholders rebellion No sooner
was it intrenched in authority than its
decay began It saw and profited the
advantages to a favored class of a tre
mendous war tariff and in profund
peace it refused to repeal the tariff tax
ation that it stated upon its enactment
was to coninue only during the exi
gency that demanded it In the period
of reconstruction it became the apolo
gist of military despotism and the
champion of bare faced scoundrelism
operating through carpet baggers in the
South It tasted spoils and its appetite
was insatiable The warning voice of
good men within the party demanding
trial of the merit system went unheed
ed and it was not until a Democratic
leader in a Democratic house perfected
the law and a Democratic executive
succeeding Arthur gave it effect that a
rational honest system of public em
ployment was introduced maintained
and enlarged
Lincoln was intensely a partisan and
though it was necessary upon the part
of the administration to lean upon war
Democrats for support he had not been
in office six months until he had dis
charged -every Democrat in the civil
service The party took possession of
every place of employment within
sight But if like the politicians of
his time Lincoln had not risen to a
just conception of public employment
or lacked the courage and support to
give effect to a rational program ie
was a man of strong intellectual force
of high aims and of entire respectabil
ity In the Senate of the United States
before Lincoln was President Illinois
was represented by an able man mighty
in debate patriotic in impulse capable
of intellectual leadership and- not de
pendent upon a petty machine To dis
pute the Senatorship with Douglas the
Republican party thought it necessary
to unite upon Lincoln
Years elapse during which the Re
publican party that assisted in destroy
ing chattel slavery has become a cham
pion of commercial slavery and in the
processes of the partys degeneracy we
find that its most prominent candidate
for Senator where Lincoln once was
honored was one boodler who when
turned down was superseded by an
other and it was by the rarest chance
a fight between the spoilsmen them
selves that a respectable man was
chosen
The Republican party may be old
now but it is no longer grand Its re
turn to power is likely to be brief
Prosperity
If selling more merchandise abroad
than we buy means good times then
we should be more prosperous to day
than we ever have been in our history
for our exports last year were greater
than our imports by over three hundred
and twenty five millions of dollars
which is fully twenty millions more
than is shown by any previous year of
which we have any record
The exports during 1S9G were also
absolutely greater than in any previous
year being 1005000000 in round fig
ures as against 970000000 in 1891
which is the next highest the differ
ence between the two being 35000000
The imports on the contrary were less
than at any time in ten years past with
the one exceptionsof two years ago
1S94 when they were only 4000000
below the record of 1S9G
With these figures before us the ques
tion naturally arises whether the dif
ference between the exports and im
ports has been paid to us or whether it
is still due and if the latter when and
how will it be turned over The treas
ury statistics show that during the
year of 1S9G we received 46000000
more than we parted with Deducting
this amount from the excess of mer
chandise exports there is still a balance
of 279000000 unaccounted for
It would be interesting indeed to find
for a certainty that foreign countries
owe us this much for merchandise to
day and will pay it to us in cash within
the next few months The importation
of such a large amount of gash could
hardly help setting all our idle factories
and workshops going and give us an
era of prosperity as a certainty
The fact that our imports have di
minished and our exports increased is
due either to the Wilson tariff which
the Democratic party gave to the coun
try or to causes that have a much
wider and deeper foundation than any
legislative act can have or perhaps to
the two combined
The Wilson tariff did one good thing
for American industry when it reduced
or abolished the duties on raw mate
rial This gave our workingmen a bet
ter chance to compete with those of
other countries in the worlds markets
and the result is unquestionably an in
crease in our exports and a decrease in
our imports We sell more abroad be
cause we can do so more cheaply since
the imported raw material costs us less
than it did under the former McKinley
bill and we buy less because for the
same reason of having cheaper raw
materials we can hold our own mar
kets to a greater extent against compet
ing foreigners
Combined with this advantage for
which the Democratic party is alone
entitled to credit is the recent great
demand for our breadstuffs from the
countries in which the harvests are
and have been bad Our exports of
cotton too have been very large
Thus legislation which the Republi
can party opposed and which it in
tends to sweep away at the earliest
opportunity is responsible for at least
a partial increase in our exports and
entirely for the decrease in imports
while natural laws which are indepen
dent of governmental action have led
to the further growth of the export
figures
That this large balance of trade in
our favor ought to be conducive to our
prosperity is not to be disputed if ordi
nary business reasoning which is also
the reasoning of political economists
is correct The nearly three hundred
millions of dollars still due us accord
ing to the treasury statistics should
come to us in cash if the current of
events is not suddenly reversed That
it will be at least partially reversed by
the re enactment of the McKinley tariff
is more than likely and if it is then the
Republican party will have to answer
for the mischief
Political Points
Members of the Indiana Legislature
have concluded that it would be best
all things considered for Gen Lew
Wallace to continue to write books
They have an elephant in the New
York Central Park zoo which blows a
trumpet He is supposed to be a half
brother to the Republican elephant
A Toledo man says he has invented a
system for the refrigeration of build
ings by the transmission of artificially
cooled brine so that a low temperature
may be maintained at any time no mat
ter how hot the surroundings may be
We advise him to send his circulars to
the superintendent of the Illinois state
house right away
EDU0ATIQNALC0LUMN
NOTES ABOUT SCHOOLS AND
THEIR MANAGEMENT
Necessity for Ungraded School8in
Many Places How to Have a School
Restaurant Dangers of the Uniform
State Text Book System
Ungraded Schools
Ought there not to be one or more
ungraded schools in every city or other
graded district The writer recollects
when this was a necessity in some dis
tricts of Schuylkill County Pennsylva
nia in the coal district for what were
known as the breaker boy and boat
boy school kept open for several
months in the year when the coal
breakers were silent and navigation
closed These schools served a good
purpose because the boys attended but
a few months during the year and it
was impossible for them to keep stepj
with the boys and girls who attended
from eight to ten months The estab
lishment of the temporary schools pre
vented the disorganizing of the graded
schools and altogether it seemed at
that time the most economic arrange
ment possible
In most cities there are a number of
boys especially who find it impossible
to do the regular graded work Would
it not be best to place these in an un
graded school and resort to individual
instruction as far as possible Educa
tional News
Questions for Younc Men
On Choosing a Profession It is not
enough to day to say that this or that
boy is absolutely trustworthy in order
to get him a situation in a shop a banking-house
or a law office in the leather
or the toy business He must be trust
worthy It is taken for granted that
he is honest This is not undervaluing
honesty in the least Quite the reverse
in fact because if a bay is not absolute
ly reliable nobody wants him no mat
ter how clever he may be But there
are hosts of honest boys in fact al
most all of them are straightforward
But to get a place in any establishment
much besides honesty and reliability is
required and hence the good old Sunday-school-story
type of boy who made
millions because and only because he
was honest is unfair to the average boy
reader since it makes him think that
success is at his hand if he is honest
That is the mistake many a fine chap
makes and when after a while he does
not get ahead in spite of his honesty
he grows melancholy and disgusted
When you get a place as boy in a store
as clerk in a banking house or assist
ant in a professional office you must
take things into your own hands Nat
urally you want to advance yourself
but the quickest way of doing this is
to let your own interest drop for the
time and study out what is your em
ployers interest Having found this
try every day in the year to see how
you can improve suggest push for
ward his success Pretty soon he be
gins to notice you to think over your
suggestions In time something comes
up and he wants a man for a certain
purpose Ten to one he will think you
are the only one for it because you
have been keeping yourself before him
so much in a way that helps him And
not long afterwards you are the man
he relies on That is the beginning
and like all good thorough beginnings
it is more than half the battle Har
pers Round Table
fchool Lunches
A system by which school luncheons
are provided for pupils who cannot re
turn home at mid day was inaugura
ted in connection with the English high
school Chicago two or three years ago
The experiment has met with great suc
cess and the school restaurant has
now about 300 seats which although
no pupil is in any way obliged to bring
his luncheon to the school are always
filled Good food and drink is supplied
at the lowest possible figure while pu
pils whose parents prefer are allowed
to bring their own luncheon which
however must be eaten in the restau
rant This system is found to be effi
cacious in doing away with disorderli
ness the boys meeting together at table
and eating their luncheon in a manner
ly and gentlemanly way
Dangers of a System
One of the dangers of the uniform
State text book system lies in the fact
that often the committee to whom the
choice of books is intrusted consists
either of politicians or of State officers
who are neither teachers nor schooled
in the requirements and essentials of
good text books This is unfortunate
but it gives the agent a chance to show
his hospitality and often the battle is
won not on the merits of the books
examined but by the suavity of the
man who is paid to talk for the books
and win the fight Educational News
How Teachers Can Save Time
Do not allow pupils to idle putter or
fumble
Teach pupils to be independent work
ers and thinkers
Mark the attendance of pupils with
out calling the roll
It is seldom worth while to keep a
daily record of recitations
Study up time saving devices for
conveying impressive instruction
Arrange your papers and materials
so that you can find instantly what
ever you want
Require pupils to plan and prepare
for their work and to keep their be
longings in order
Arrive at school a reasonable time
before it opens and stay a reasonable
time after it closes
In some cases encourage and require
pupils to study outside of school hours
Obtain the co operation of parents and
others in such work B Tice Su
perintendent Schools Plainville Mass
THE BETTER NEW YORK
Reforms that Have Been Adopted in
the Metropolis
Upon the road which New York has
been treading this half score years there
is at last rib turning back The streets
evacuated by the trucks have been oc
cupied by the children the truckmans
with the rest for the want of better
playgrounds andf the truckman has
abandoned the fight and where they
crowd thickest playgrounds of their
own are being fitted up for them In
school and park Hereafter no school
house shall be constructed in the city
of New York without an open play
ground attached to or used in connec
tion with the same says one of the
briefest but most beneficent laws ever
enacted by the people of the State of
New York It is all there is of it but it
stands for a good deal No child of
New York poor or rich shall hereafter
be despoiled of his birthright a chance
to play and as for the streets does any
one imagine that New Yorkers will
ever be persuaded to barter away their
clean and noiseless pavements and pure
air for the whirling dust clouds the
summer stenches and the winter
sloughs of old seasoned with no mat
ter what mess of political pottage If
so he is grievously mistaken Col
Waringhas shown us that the streets
of New York can be cleaned and any
future city government no matter how
corrupt or despotic will have to reckon
with him And right well the enemy
knows it he may not refrain from
picking our pockets in future but he
will at least have to do it with due re
gard to the decencies of life
Mulberry Bend is gone and in its
place have come grass and flowers and
sunshine Across the Bowery where
324000 human beings were shown to
live out of sight and reach of a green
spot four of the most crowded blocks
have been seized for demolition to
make room for the two small parks de
manded by the Tenement House Com
mission Bone Alley redolent of filth
and squalor and wretchedness is to go
and the children of that teeming neigh
borhood are to have a veritable little
Coney Island with sandhills and shells
established at their very doors Who
can doubt the influence it will have
upon young lives heretofore framed
hi gutters
I question whether the greatest wrong
done the children of the poor in the past
has not been the esthetic starvation of
their lives rather than the physical in
juiy Against the latter provision has
been made by stringent tenement house
laws by the vigorous warfare upon
child labor by the extension of the
laws protection to stores as to factories
and by the restriction of the sweat shop
evil In the park to be laid out by the
Schiff fountain in the shadow of the
Hebrew Institute one of the noblest
charities a great public bath is to rise
upon the site of the present rookeries
harbinger pf others to come All about
new school houses are going up on a
plan of structural perfection and archi
tectural excellence at which earlier
school boards would have stood aghast
The first battle for the schools has been
fought and won and though there be
campaigning ahead without stint on
that score the day is in sight when
every child who asks shall find a seat
provided for him in the public school
and when that scandal of the age the
mixing of truants and thieves in a jail
shall have finally ceased even as it is
now forbidden by law Century
Quick Profits
Business is the watchword of the
day and the small boy is developing
on that line with a rapidity which as
tonishes the previous generation But
the practical side of his nature has
not obscured the poetry of childhood
The fairy tale is as potent as ever
and there was a smile of pleasure on
the face of the lad who remarked at
hreakfast
T had a beautiful dream last night
What was it his father asked
I thought I was out in the woods
and I saw a most gorgeously dressed
lady coming toward me
That is a good deal like some of
the stories that you have been read
ing
Yes It doesnt get very different
until the end I knew by her looks
that she was the fairy queen and I
made up my mind that I wasnt going
to lose chances like some of the boys
in story books who didnt know a
good chance when they saw it
Did she offer you three wishes
Yes And I called to mind how
she sometimes took advantage of a
mortals being excited and nervous
when he wished in order to make him
waste his opportunities and have a
good laugh at him So when she said
Little boy Ill give you three wishes
I didnt jump at the chance I said
Will you give me whatever I ask for
She answered Yes you may have
three wishes
What did you do
I wished for four
Japanese Women
Everybody smokes in Japan The
pipes hold a little wad of fine cut to
bacco as big as a pea It is fired and
the smoker takes a long whiff blow
ing the smoke in a cloud from the
mouth and nose The ladies have pipes
with longer stems than the men and
if one of them wishes to show a gentle
man a special mark of favor she lights
her pipe takes half a whiff hands it
to him and lets him finish the Avhiff
Tolstois Faithful Follower
Prince Dimitri Ivhilkoy a Russian
nobleman has followed the advice of
Count Tolstoi and divided his estates
among the peasants reserving but
seven acres for his bwn cultivation
It is clearly evident what is expected
of a young man when members of her
family Invite him to a family reunion
FOR LITTLE FOLKS
A COLUMN OF PARTICULAR IN
TEREST TO THEM
Something that Will Interest the Ju
venile Members of Every Household
Quaint Actions and Brijjht Sayings
of Many Cute and Cunning Children
The Sand Man
The Sand Man drops in every night
The Sand Man with his sand
To sprinkle grains in little eyes
With unseen unfelt hand
He comes about the hour when all
The baby work is done
When toys lie scattered round the room
Abandoned one by one
A hobby horse once rocked with vim
Stands quiet in his stall
A consecrated space between
The trundle bed and wall
A jumping jack an iron bank ivl
A painted rubber ball
A rattle with a whistle on
A bruised and battered doll V Vf
A dozen little glittering things
So dear to babyland
But now the Sand Man comes around
The Sand Man with his sand
Two chubby little fists are forced
In two small sleepy eyes
To rub away the sand which sifts
Across some tired sighs
And now the Sand Man yields his place
To a fairy with a rod
Who beckons toward that mystic shrine
The babyland of Ntfd
The Sand Man drops in every night
The Sand Man with his sand
To sprinkle grains in little eyes
With unseen unfelt hand
Charles Nelson Johnson in Chicago
Times Herald
Just So
Little Boy writing composition I
want to use that saying thats in our
Copybooks but I cant remember it all
Man glories in his strength Woman
glories in Whats the rest I won
der
Little Girl Let me see Woman
glories in her her hat
To Recall His Youth
The old man sighed as he took the
golden haired laughing little boy on
his knee and stroking his shining tress
es said
Ah how much I should like to feel
like a child again
Little Johnny ceased his laughter
and looking up in his grandfathers
fface remarked
Then why dont you get mamma to
spank you
A Cat with an Odd Appetite
An ordinary cats bill of fare is quite
complete when it contains in the first
course a saucer of milk in the second
a nice tender mouse and in the third
a piece of custard pie But Frances
Holden of Omaha had a high toned
cat that bore the odd name of Okoboji
which insisted on having an extra
course of crab salad Last summer
when she and her brothers and sisters
were out camping they gathered a bas
ket of lively little crabs and poured
them out on the tent floor Okoboji
being near at hand came sniffing up
like the dainty cat she was and all the
boys and girls were surprised to see
her walk right into the midst of the
wriggling mass Some of the crabs
caught hold of her tail of her whis
kers and of her fur until she was fairly
alive with them Okoboji seemed to en
joy it first rate and played with them
as if they were mice Presently when
she was tired of the fun she sat down
and calmly ate all the crabs up one
after another Whoever heard of a eat
with such an odd appetite
A Snowbalf1
Teddy never meant to do it But
when Tom threw a snowball what
could he do but squeeze up another
and toss It back And how could he
know that naughty ball would hop
right over Toms head and go smash
right through the window of Miss
Priscilla Prims millinery shop But
there was the broken pane and the
glass scattered all over the ladies bon
nets
Tom dodged around one corner and
Teddy around the other When Miss
Priscilla looked out the street was as
empty and still as if there was not one
little boy In town
I got off pretty well thought Ted
dy If she caught me shed make me
pay the whole eighty seven cents
Nobody but Teddy knew how many
errands he had run and how many
paths he had swept and how much can
dy and popcorn and butterscotch he
had not eaten to get together those
eighty seven cents As soon as he could
earn just thirteen cents more they were
all to go for the little steam engine ioi
the toy shop window
Just five minutes later Teddy stepped
Into Miss Priscillas shop with his little
red savings bank in his hand He emp
tied it on the counter and out came
rolling such a swarm of dimes and nick
els and pennies Miss Priscilla was so
surprised that her eyebrows went right
up to her little gray curls
Say I fired that snowball said
Teddy bravely So I ought to pay for
it course you know
Well you are an honest boy said
Miss Priscilla But you are dreadful
careless
Teddy went past the toy shop win
dow on his way homeland he could not
help just looking at the little engine
But he was not sorry for being honest
not a bit Youths Companion
If All the Clocks Should Stop
Supposing all the clocks and watches
in the world eiiould suddenly run down
witih a click and a burr and a clatter
to night atl oclock How many boys
sanrl crlila a ya Tnarv trrVirk tiTrtTild Kn a Vila
W tv twaic uicig nuu uuuiu k irxy
to tell the right time to go to school to-
morrow morning It wouldnt be an
easy matter would It even if the sun
was shining out warm and bright But
thats all because there are so many
timepieces everywhere that we get tc
depending on them Over In China
Avhere the people are very poor and
cant afford to own watches how do
you suppose any one knows when to
go to dinner especially If its a cloudy
day
Why by looking at the cat For in
China a cat 13 not only a mouser and a
pet but a clock When a Chinaman
wants -to know the time he runs to the
household tabby opens her eyes and
at once tells what time it is This he
does by looking at the pupils of the
eye which he has discovered to be of
varying sizes at different hours of the
day being affected by the position of
the sun even when the day is cloudy
Another curious clock which any of
our boys and girls could easily make
is used by the natives of the Pacific
islands It is made of the half of a
cocoanut shell cut smooth at the edges
and having a very small hole bored in
the bottom of it This shell is placed in1
a pail of water and a small stream-
spurts up through the hole in a tiny
fountain In just one hour so care
fully has the hole been bored to the
proper size the shell sinks with a gurg
ling sound that serves the same pur
pose as the striking of a clock The
native promptly lifts it out and sets t
afloat again to measure the next hour
No doubt the native mother may be
heard calling to her little son Joey
Conch Shell who- likes to lie abed in
the morning
Joey Joey jump up ifs 2 whole
shells after sunrise and time that you
went out and saddled the giraffe for
Sister Sue to take a ride
SIXTY MILES AN HOUR
Wonderful Mechanical Effects of a
comotive Runninga Mile a Minute
At sixty miles an hour the resistance
of a train is four times as great as it is
at thirty miles that is the fuel must
be four times as great in the one case as
in the other But at sixty miles an hour
this fuel must be exerted for a given
distance in half the time that it is at
thirty miles so that the amount of
power exerted and steam generated in
a given period of time must be eight
times as great at the faster speed This
means that the capacity of the boiler
cylinders and the other parts must be
greater with a corresponding addition
to the weight of the machine
ously therefore if the weight pen
wheel on account of the limit of
t weight that the rails will carry islimit i
ed we soon reach a point where the
driving wheels and other parts cannot
be- further enlarged and then we reach
the maximum speed The nice adjust
ment necessary of the various parts of
these immense engines may
ed by some figures as to the work per
Crmed by these parts when the loco
motive is working at high speedl Take
a passenger engine on any of the big
railroads At sixty miles an hour a
driving wheel fire and one half feet in
diameter revolves five times every sec
ond Now the reciprocating- parts of
each cylinder including one- piston
piston rod cross head and connecting
rod weighing about Q50 pounds must
move back and forth a distance equal
to the stroke usually two feet every
time the wheel revolves or in a fifth
of a second It starts from a state of
rest at the end of each strokeof the pis
ton and must acquire a velocity of
thirty two feet per second In one-twentieth
of a second and must be brought
to a state of rest in the same period of
time
A piston eighteen inches in diameter
has an area of 254 square inches
Steam of 150 pounds pressure per
square inch would therefore exert a
force on- the piston equal to 38175
pounds This force is applied alter
nately on each side of the piston teo
times in a second Troy Budget
Broke the Iiaw
By conferring the Order of the Goia
en Fleece upon the Duke of Orleans
on the occasion of Ms marriage Em
peror Francis Joseph has caused much
commotion in Vienna and Madrid as
the appointment is contrary to the sta
tutes of the order A Knight of the
Golden Fleece must prove that he is
the legitimate offspring of eight gen
erations of ancestors all noble an2 all
Catholics The Dukes grandmother
the mother of the Comte de Paris
was Prineess Helene of Mecklenburg
Schwerin who was born and died a
Protestant while three of his ancestors
the Regent Orleans Philippe Egalitea
father and Egalite himself married illegitimate-descendants
of Louis XTV
Had Met the Greatest of Them
Grigsby When youwere abroad did
you go to see any of the autocrats 07
despots
Strandby No I wecfe abroad in
search of novelties You know that I
have had a long experience with jani
tors on this side of the water Boston
Transcript
His Fate
Sympathizing friend Where wer
the remains of your late husband burs
ied
The widow sadjy There were no
remains he me met -a bear
Sketch
Easily Hecoeaizable
Miss De Style Fancy There is lime
Paris my milliner in the riding classF
Mr De Style Where Oh yas That
must be her on that high charger New
York Journal
Things eaten out of a spoon shape
differently from the ones you axe used
to taste funny
i
Ninety nine cents sounds only aboni
I half as big to a woman as dplla J
Merchants tnowtlie trick