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About The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 21, 1908)
i I -88 11 1 m 15 ITt 1 m L 15 1 s I iii m urn fcitTJ Ba j tJtL CI li II i Ijui ma a 4 a t m m h I Si fi rr3 l8 m Stories Told In the Cloakrooms Senator Elect John Sharp Williams on Grammatical Er rors Representative Durton anil His Wonderful Alcmory wiim - HEN John Sharp Williams who has been promoted to the senate takes his teat as one of Mississippis senators the house will lose one of its most en tertaining story tellers The other day he said recently I was amused by the remark of one of the messen gers at a committee room door Ho was disputing with another negro and in the most heated part of the argu ment said That dont cut no signify I think that there never was a more ungrammatlcal expression than that except one A man I knew went Into a restaurant in Mobile and asked the waiter to bring him some underdone roast beef The waiter came buck with a piece that was pretty well done and the man protested Best we got mister said tho waiter We aint got none thats no underdoner The new senator has to stand some good naturcd rallying now and then because of the name of the place from which he hails Yazoo It was the Washington Star which recently prlnt efl under a cartoon of the genial mi nority leader the following stanza A jf WILLIAMS OF MISS If you say to this man Who are you Wheres your homo Oh tell me pray do He will staro lor awhilo With a quizzical smile And reply J S Williams Yazoo Marcus Aurelius Smith territorial delegate from Arizona tells a story of a girl who broe her engagement with the man she was to marry Why did you break your engage ment aske I a friend Oh she replied I just couldnt marry a man with a broken nose But how did the poor chap get his nose broken Why said the young woman 1 accidentally hit him with my brassle when he was teaching me to play golf Senator W Murray Crane of Massa chusetts is a somewhat serious minded man befitting one whose paper mill uanufactures the raw material out of which Uncle Sams soft money Is made Nevertheless the senator can and doe tell a funny story now and then Once up in my part of Massachu setts said the senator there was a farmer who desired to teach his chore boj how to tell the difference between a young turkey and an old one after killing He said to tho boy vL4 JfTsr 3KNAT0R CRANTS HHOBBTABT TATT HT7MT 1NG CRANES IN JIAS3ACUUSKTTS Roger can you tell a young turkey from an old tuxkeyr I certainly can sir repliod thes boj How do you tell By the tet ThJ have ho teeth i boy he MM thoi ttlry c When Senator Johnston Posed as Gardener Sena tor Crane the Farm Boy and the Turkey J No but I have implied Roger Senator Crane was lieutenant gov ernor and governor of Massachusetts before his appointment to fill out the unexpired term of the late Senator Hoar Later he was elected to a full term Before his senatorial career be gan he declined the post of secretary of the treasury it is said because his acceptance would have made it neces sary for him to sell his paper mill His mill manufactures under contract the paper upon which our fiexiblo currency Is printed Senator Joseph F Johnston of Ala bama who succeeded the lato venera ble Senator Pettus has a sense of hu mor in nowise dulled by mature age and white hairs Until Senator Wil liam J Bryan of Florida aged thirty entered the august body a few weeks ago Johnston claimed to bo a baby senator because he was one of the newest He is considerably more than twice the age of Bryan One of the stories which Senator Johnston tells in the senato cloakroom is a Joke partly on himself and partly on a society woman of Birmingham where the senator lives in a handsome residence One day Johnston was out In his garden hoeing some geraniums Being clothed to suit the occasion he did not present a dignified figure The society lad who was a newcomer and did not know tho distinguished citizen j by sight sought to pay Mrs Johnston a call ner ring at the door not being answered she walked Into tho garden to talk to the gardener How long have you worked for the Johnstons she Inquired A good many years madam Do they pay you well About all I get out of It is my clotht s and keep Why come and work for me sIk SENATOR JOHNSTOK AND A CARTOON OF HIM said Ill do that and pay you so much a month besides I thank you madam ho replied bowing very low but I signed up with Mrs Johnston for life Why no such contract Is binding That is peonage Some may call it that but I havn always called It marriage Representative Theodore E Burton of Ohio whose work In the iuterest of rivers and harbors has mado him a national figure is quite different from the average congressman He spends his spare time It Is said reading French classics and English poetry His bachelor apartments aro strewn with books Burton Is something of a bookworm though to excellent pur pose When McKinley was preparing to writo his famous tariff bill Burton supplied many or tho important facts upon which the measure was based McKinley appealed to Burton because he knew that Burton knew But despite Burtons booklshness and studiousueas the man possesses truly human qualities like the average person For one thing he never for gets Jim Jones or Sam Simpkins In Washington it Is told of Burton that once an apparent stranger called to Eee him How do you do Mr Smith was Burtons greeting You are let me Bee you are Mr William Smith I beliovo Back in wait a minute now back In 1S92 jou sat with mo on a platform at a meeting In the Twenty third ward And Mr William Smith gasped for that waa so Ho and Burton had not mot slnco nor before but Burton had him spotted It may bo that Mr Bur tons systematic study has resulted in such a thorough 1UrJgT memory farmer a tefoeted rjrfct training that It retains eren trivial Impressions like this PITFALLS OF ENGLISH Our Puzzling Language and Its Words of More Than One Meaning Of all modern languages English Is undoubtedly the most difficult to ac quire In addition to the ordinary pitfalls of forms and Idioms that en trap the foreigner struggling for mas tery of a strange tongue there is one so peculiar to ours that nothing even remotely similar presents itself in any other language whether ancient or modern Tills is the paradoxical word the word which has two meanings diamet rically opposed to each other It Is not enough that with all the wealth of words borrowed from half a score qf other languages we must impose a double and often a multiple burden on some poor little monosyllabic word like get for Instance whose mean ings are legion Our language must needs confound the student at the gates with the paradox To give a few examples The word let means to allow or permit and likewise to pre vent hinder or refuse meanings diametrically opposite I will let you do It In the former sense is hardly more common In use than the phrase without let or hindrance and Shakespeare has it By heaven Ill make a ghost of him that lets pre vents me Cleave means to split asunder as well as to adhere or bind closely Scott makes Marmlon threaten to eleave the Douglas head while holy writ enjoins upon the husband to cleave unto his wife Another example is lurid which meuuK both a dull red and also a pale green hue tints that are exact ly opposed in the scale of color While the former Is the more common mean ing the latter is more scholarly cor rect as the word Is derived through the Latin from the Greek adjective meaning greenish hued Again we have fast A horse that Is fast may be in rapid motion or standing tied stock still In either sense whether of motion or immobili ty the word emphasizes the idea Examples of this bewildering pit fall of our tongue might be multiplied indefinitely It may be said of the English speaking world as it was said of the old Romans that their suprem acy Is due to the fact that they da not have to learn their own language Chicago Record Herald But YEAST IS A PLANT It Can Bo Seen ss Such Only With tho Microscope Yeast Is a small plant which can be seen only with the aid of the micro scope says Good Health There are two varieties wild and cultivated for these tiny plants can be Improved through cultivation as larger plants can be Firms which make yeast for the market must grow these plants quite as carefully as the florist grows his flowers Care must be taken that they do not become mixed with other varie ties therefore destroying the culture In some laboratories where yeast Is grown two separate buildings are kept for this purpose These are both care fully disinfected and if it Is found that the yeast becomes contaminated in ono building the culture is started anew and the other building previously disinfected before moving into it This plant like bacteria requires warmth moisture and food The mate rials out of which the bread is made should always Imj warmed and the dough should always 1 e kept In a warm place The temperature most favorable is about that of the body a little less than 100 degrees There is always considerable mois ture In bread aud plenty of food for the plant The food which it requires is sugar This it obtains from the wheat there being some sugar In the flour and more sugar is also formed from the starch As the yeast plants feed upon sugar they brsik it down into two sub staacea iLohol an I a gas known as cjrLon Iijxide or carbonic acid gas As tin is formed it is held by the glutei is a very elastic sub sUii WIou the bread is put into the oven the heat expands the tiuj bub bles of gas causing the bread to rise or to become much lighter The alco hol formed being a volatile product passes off into the baking Progress The martyr cannot be dishonored Every lash inflicted is a tongue of flame every prison a more illustrious abodo Every burned book or house enlightens the world Every suppress ed or expunged word reverberates through the earth from side to side It i the whipper who is whipped the tyrant who Is undone Emerson Graveyard of Asiatics The northern territory is th grave yard of Innumerable Asiatics who en ter by way of the gulf of Carpentaria in quest of gold Death from thirst and starvation accounts for thousands The few who survive return to China to spread the fame of Australias re lentless solitude and hunger tracks Chambers Journal Advice What would you do asked the ex cited politician if a paper should call you a liar and a thief Well said the lawyer if I were you Id toss up a cent to see whether Id reform or lick the editor Cleve land Leader Never Touched Him Doesnt begging make you asham ed Sura If you knew how stingy some men were you would be ashamed of being human Philadelphia Ledger Like Finding Money O R Woodworth Co tho popular your money druggists aro making nn effort that is just like finding money for they aro sell ing a regular 50 cent bottle of Dr How ards celebrated specific for tho cure of oonstipation anddyspapsiuat half price In addition to this largo discount they agroo to return tho money to any pur chaser whom tho specific does not cure It is quito unusual to bo nblo to buy fifty cent pieces for a quarter but that is what this offer really meanH for it is only recently through tho solicitation of Druggist Woodworth that this niedi cine could bo bought for less than fifty cents they urged the proprietors to -low them to sell it at this reduced price for a little while aggreeing to sell a cor tain amount Tho result has justified their good judgment for tho sale has buen something remarkable Anyone who suffers with headache dyspepsia dizziness sour stomach specks before tho eyes or any liver trouble should take advantage of this opportunity for Dr Howards specific will cure all tfese troubles But if by any chance it shoulc fc - i7i mii - not C II Woodworth it Co will refui d Ask to seo tho Stralhmoro typewriting paper at Tiik Tuihunk office NOTICE OF TAX SALE UEDEMPriON ToMyrlio Miller You nro hereby notified that mi tliolth dor of June 11XW I purchased at private tax sale lots ono and two 1 and 2 block fine Park division to iudinuoln Nebras ka that said lota were asMjs ed in the naino ofMyrtio Miller that said lots were nesMd and sold for the taxes of tho jours ilKK IWtt and 1D0I that 1 huo paid tho Mib etpieiit taxes thereon of 1V0i and 1HK5 that the time of re demption from said tax sale will oxniro on tho Jth day of June 110S M 3t a it SMITH REFEREES SALK Hy virtue of an order of sale to mo directed by tho clerk of the district court of Red Willow county in the state or Nebraska fin a judgment rendered in said court in favor of Minnie Ma tilda Miller plaintiff against Albertiua Rogers Hoy Rogers John S Miller Freida Phillippi Albert lhillippi Daisy Phillippi and Edwin Ihillippi defendants on the eleventh day of December ISKJ7 for the i in and sale of tho following described real estate tfi wit Tho east half of the west half of sect ion two tho northwest quarter of cction tine all in town ship two north rane twciitj iiiuu and lots one and two m block ten in the fourth addition to McCook all in Red Willow Nebraska I will oiler for sale to tho highest bidder for cash on the Kith day of March IXW at the front door of the court limine in said county attwo oclock in the afternoon the above dccribcd real estate Dated this 13tli day of February WOS J S LeIIkw Referee makes ribbon changes unnecessary riv Vi npco rTrriPi7nrinrr o r I I 133 LV UWiiUilV LUCllV i This machine permits not on e vo i f iiiii iir Titmr I 1 1 tl If fel full xiV330A l vtt A SK your stenographer wliai ic ncans to change a type- jL writer ribbon three times in getting out a days work fr fl Wsw M Umm you witn one ribbon and one machine the three -essential kinds of 1- I crdj purple copying and red iiv -- o tijjr o snglc color o Smith Premier lvnewriter Co 17th Rr Fa mam st nmaha fflBSBCS8 V vUjs THE McCQOK TRIBUNE and THE WEEKLY INTER OCEAN Both a Full Year For Only 21 columns of news 14 columns of talks by a practical farmer on farm topics economical machinery planting growing and storing of fruits and vegetables breeding and marketing of live stock 20 or more Lost and Found Poems and Songs 1 column of Health and Beauty Hints Best short and continued stories Chess and Checkers Puzzles and Complications Dr Reeders Home Health Club Miscellaneous Questions and answers Poems of the Day a special Washington letter taking cartoons and illustrations All the News of the World siid Only TventyFive Cents More Than the Price of THE McCQOK TRIBUNE Alone The Weekly s I I rfir - - UM1L UVU v ypy jW jf fis SSasnzSi ScSJp r w r T- Home fcean Contains Each Week 5 columns of live entertaining editorials 7 columns of livo stock and market reports iO questions and answers by readers on anything pertaining to the business of farming garden ing raising of live stock and poultry etc etc 10 to 20 questions on veterinary subjects 7 columns of information on recipes patterns formulas etc furnished by readers 14 to 21 columns of stories of public men his torical geographical and other miscellany 5 columns of a specially reported sermon by the Rev Dr Quajle of Chicago and the Sunday School lesson These features together with a Special Magazine Department make up the Leading Farm Home and News Paper of the West OUR OFFER The price of The Weekly Inter Ocean remains 100 a year The price ofThe McCook Tribune remains 100 a year The two papers each one year will cost only 125 N B This special arrangement with Th Weekly Inter Ocoan ia for a limited time only Subscribers to The Weekly Inter Ocean are assured that no papera will be sent utter their subscriptions expire unless their subscriptions are renewed by cash payments y NOTICE OF REFEREES SALE Hy virtue of an order of salo to nip jctcd by tho clerk of tho district court of Red Y illow county in tho Stato of Nebraska on a judgment roiiuoroti in saiu ciiiii Y iTi Rogers plaintiff against John b MillerMIniuo Matilda Miller Edwin A Phil hppi Albert Phillippi Harvey Ihillippi Dniby Phillippi Freida Ihillippi and Roy Rogers defendants on the eleventh day of DcccmberliiOi O partition and salo of tho following described real estate to wit Tho south half of the north east quarter and lots ono and two section two township two north rnngo tweiity iiino west ot tho sixth principal meridian in said Red VViHpw county I will offer for Mile to tho highest bidder for cash on the ltith day of March 1 WW at tho front door of the court house in McCook m said county at two oclock in tho afternoon tho above described real estate Dated this iith flay of FobriiarylJ0S 2 1 l lts J S LkIIkw Referee Were Just As Thankful For n small package as a largo one Each will receive tho same thorough and careful attention If wo get tho former it amy in time grow to tho later by tho satisfaction you will dome in wearing our laundered work Family washing ic per pound McCook Steam Laundry W C BLAIR Prop Successor to 5 C Heckman PHONE 35 West Dennlson St I I 1 u