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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (July 25, 1902)
The Commoner. 10 Vol. a, No. 27. k' WHETHER COninON OR NOT. r. Wnltlnjf Stool rod oiled and po'lfsliod And th'o rcol is running froo; Linos havo nil boon tosted Box of tacklo good ,to soe; y Waltfng for iho signal 4 NoW to talco tho trajn and go,. A flslilng in Lake Ida, ,-,. Wlibrp tho ''; " I . ( ;. " BJg , ' ' . f ''" .'.''lias's. t i'. ,Ml " ' Grow. t- Charloy Bidman waiting ,, jyith tho-minnows for my books; Overalls and straw hat Comfort takes tho place of looks. Rocky Point is waiting, And tho waves wash'soffand low Along tho shores of- Ida Whoro tho Big ' 'Bass ' ' ' " 'r Grow. : "' ; Brqezcs- softly blowing' O'or, tho waters cool and deep; Song birds sweetly singing Whore woodland shadows creep It'tf hard uponr a fellow (Waiting for tho day to go A fishing in -Lake Ida 'Whoro tho , Big . . . ' Bass . -s -' Grow. A Pitiful Plaint. To the Editor of tho .Housewife's Homo Comfort: As a husband and a father I have a complaint to make con cerning your journal, and others of the same class. And I am not'alono in this complaint, although I may be tkd first to voice it. 'Pray boar mo with me while I unload my burden of grief upon you. My wife tho best and Bweotest woman in this or any other cityIs the victim of, a fad. Her fad is wom an's journals. She subscribes to some thing less than a score and consider ably more than a dozen, and it Is be cause she takes everything in earno3t that she sees in them that I come now slight chango for tho bettor, and luncheon was immense. Tuesday's dlnnor was another dream of gastro nomic joy, but profiting by oxporionca I curbed my appetito. Wednesday's breakfast and luncheon wore stilt further improvements, out when I pushed back from tho dinner table Wednesday evening tho good wife hauled out a little account book and pored ovor tho figures for a minute. Then sho said: "My dear, I have faithfully followed th'o schedule I cut out of the House wife's Homo Comfort. It said this sort of thing would cost us $1.73 a weok, but including dinner this even ing I havo spent just $21.87, not count ing tho gas. Could you persuado your employer to advance you a week's salary so I can follow tho schedule up until next Sunday evening?" Now I submit to you, my dear sir, that this Is a confidence game deserv ing of severe condemnation. Wo fig ured it out that evening, and we dis covered that your schedule instead of costing $1.73 a week for a family of five, would really cost $48.93. But this Is not all. We havo been considering the idea of building a homo of our own for some time. Wo have taken note of all the architec tural designs published in your jour nal and others of a like class. Most of, them are for houses costing from $7,500 to $28,763. One design was of a "handsomo and cheap cottage" that you say will cost "only $4,500." Tho man who would speak of a "handsome and cheap" cottage costing $4,500 either lives In an attic room or a Drown stone front on Fifth avenue. I am not prepared to say which. But a month or so ago you, in a spirit of forgetfulness, published the design of a cottage costing $1,800, including the plumbing, a walled cellar, a dinky gargoyle or two and a lot of ginger like her mother did before her. But in an evil moment sho conceived tho idea of 'following a weekly schedule of menus outlined in your family jour nal. You know what I mean. One of those schedules whore you give a lot of recipes for three meals a day for sevon conseoutivo days, preceded b a little note to tho effect that tho schedule provides a -way of living on $1.73 a weok for a family of five and havo some loft over to lend to Iho neighbors. "Tliero are fivo In my fam ily, including mysolf, and . I don't amount to much around the house save on salary day. When sho saw that fatal lino, "For a family of fivo," she succumbed. Sho began with broakfast Monday morning. It was a good breakfast, although I never did like oatmeal. Luncheon was also good, even if made up chiefly of stuff the grocer sells in cans. But dinner was a dream of gastronomic joy. The good wife followed iho schedule in every particular, and I xato so much I droamed ofpink cows ind blue snakes and green hobgoblins, with mv tale of woo. Up until a few months ago sho woo br;ad on tho roo- We thought it content to cook and servo meals just ?u" u uuuut anu er inclined to uenove mat Dy dispensing with tho gargoyles, gingerbread and a part of tho plumbing wo could get it down to about $1,500. Wo sent for tho plans and submitted them to a contractor, asking for bids on it just as tho plans showed, and also for bids on the plans, minus the gaVgoyles and gingerbread. He said he would build the house as shown by the plans for $3,100, and for $2,975 without the ornamentation. We are still renting. Could you not furnish us with tho plans of a cottage estimated by you to cost about $350? Wife and I havo come to the conclusion that by build ing a $350 - cottage on a Housewife's Homo Comfort plan wo can manage to keep within the $1,200 wo can raise for building purposes. Wife and I are not much on so ciety, but occasionally wo go out among friends, and when we do we try to make a good appearance My dress suit is becoming somewhat old, but it is good for three or four more sea sons. But every so often tho wife in sists on having a new frock, and I iu uisuc. xuesaays breakfast was sC never complain. I want her to dress well. But this dressmaking business came near bankrupting us. Last month she began discussing tho new dres3 problem, and just as sho was growing excited about it tho Housewife's Home Comfort showed up. That was our undoing. Behold, it had tho plans and specifications for building an evening dress that appeared judging by the model-to be a dream of beauty. In tho picture it -fitted tho woman like tho paper on the wall. Of course the woman in the picture was not built like any woman I ever saw, being shaped like a harpoon hook, .with a waist about seven inches in .circumfer ence and a spine curved like a repub lican politician's record. -The' wife is small, and slender, but thot plans and specifications showed how to make tho dress fit women like her. The es timated cost -was $13.99. Armed with the plans and specifications she went down town and purchased the goods. When she came back the bill for the material showed a total of $22.17, and sho still was shy tho buttons, some thing she calls illusion and stuff known to the initiated as skirt bind ing. She grabbed the scissors, the tapeline and a paper of pins, and be gan cutting, measuring and pinning. She was at it when I left in the morn ing and at it when I got home at night. Sho kept It up- for a .week, save when she jaunted down town to get a little material actually needed, but not shown in the specifications. Finally the dress was completed. I have no complaints to make about its looks. It is really a handsome dress, and it fits well. T3ufc I have a complaint to make concerning the cosf. Instead of costing $13.99 it cost $38.50, a -week of hard work, numerous cold meals and a lot of red-hot thoughts'. I will stand for the extra work, the discomfort and tho thoughts, but I submit that in all justice you owe me $24.51, which you may remit 'by draft, money orders, stamps, check, postal note or express order. A few nights ago the baby become slightly ill. The drug store was open, but the doctor was not at home. The wife hunted up a few back numbers of the Housewife's Home Comfort and searched until she found something in tho "Home Physician" department that seemed to fit tho baby's case. It said to get a certain lotion and batho tho baby therein. I hiked down to the drug store and secured tho stuff, and the wife bathed the baby. It may bo all right, but I doubt it. The baby looks like a boiled lobster and the tender skin ig peeling off wherever that stuff touched it. Is that what you wanted it to do? If it is, you havo succeeded, but it's almighty tough on the baby. Now, I want to ask a few favors of' you. Please don't give us any more of those $1.73-a-weok-for-a-famlly-of-fivo recipes until you havo tried it yourself. It's too expensive experi menting with 'om out here in tho west. Please don't print any more plans of "cheap and handsome cottages costing $15,000." A fifteen-thousand-dollar house is a mansion out here, even If it is a "cheap cottage" In the neighbor hood of the Housewife's Homo Com fort office. If you are a man, have your wife try your "$13.99-for-a-hand- . somo-evening-dress" plans for her3elf -before springing them on the wives of us poor tollers. If you are a woman mend tho error of your wayB; And if you havo any jnore recipes for ailing babies try 'em on your own offspring before printing them. If they. ; parboil your babies it may save our- babies much suffering. ;:) . Please give this letter consideration.) 1 It comes from tho bottom of a lieart?j full of woo. Yours in trouble . I A WEARY HUSBAND; -h P. Si That complexion wash you printed in, the? Juno number may be.j all right in some cases, but it madep mywlfe's face look like :a war maplj of Europe smitten with a chunk otr raw beef. ' A. W. H. t ; Lie- W. M. M. . t it With the Paragraphed. " We are anxious to knowwho is to t be the future keeper of the elephant,.,. Hanna or Oxnard. Memphis (Tenn.) , News. , , t Except in tho.se portions where more- or less fighting is going on daily, the Philippine islands are said, to be com- . pletely pacified. Milwaukee (Wis.). . News. s After Admiral Dewey's declaration. the American eagle can no 'longer af ford to do any screaming over the bat- tie of Manila. Boston (Mass.) Trav eler. The Philippine bill-debate was long' drawn out and only one republican was converted. Veriy they are -a hard-hearted and a stiff-necked lot. ' Nashville (Tenn.) News. 4 By the way, gentlemen of the repub lican press, what has become of that trust busting weapon hurled at the packers by Attorney General Knox?' Dubuque (la.) Telegraph-Herald. Dewey seems very anxious to con ciliate the national administration. He well knows how to go about it, as ' was shown by his testimony before tho Philippine senatorial committee. Jop lln (Mo.) Globe. After all Whitelaw Reld is to come ' home without having' a chance to wear his coronation breeches, but he haa the satisfaction of knowing he can leave them to his family as an heir? loom. San Francisco (Cal.) Call. The republicans have passed a lot of good laws this session. That is,, they passed by the laws, but the laws were not passed by them. -The Eng-i lish language is a funny thing some times, isn't it? Memphis (Tenn.),' News. A man arrested at the White house as a crank declares that he has "tho power of telling where Uncle Sam is being robbed." There are lots of that kind of cranks in Washington, but they are shrewd onough to keep quiefl about it Philadelphia (Pa.) Public . Ledger. Thirty-two thousand dollars' worth ' of coffins in which to bury American soldiers are being sent to x Manila by, the transport Kilpatrick. That is $4,- 000 more than all the exports to Ma nila in May, therefore elucidating clearly that trade "follows tho flag." Buffalo (N. Y.) Courier. 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