The Commoner.
10
Vol. a, No. 27.
k'
WHETHER COninON OR NOT.
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Wnltlnjf
Stool rod oiled and po'lfsliod
And th'o rcol is running froo;
Linos havo nil boon tosted
Box of tacklo good ,to soe; y
Waltfng for iho signal 4
NoW to talco tho trajn and go,.
A flslilng in Lake Ida, ,-,.
Wlibrp tho ''; " I .
( ;. " BJg , ' ' . f
''" .'.''lias's. t i'.
,Ml " ' Grow.
t-
Charloy Bidman waiting ,,
jyith tho-minnows for my books;
Overalls and straw hat
Comfort takes tho place of looks.
Rocky Point is waiting,
And tho waves wash'soffand low
Along tho shores of- Ida
Whoro tho
Big
' 'Bass '
' ' " 'r Grow. : "'
;
Brqezcs- softly blowing'
O'or, tho waters cool and deep;
Song birds sweetly singing
Whore woodland shadows creep
It'tf hard uponr a fellow
(Waiting for tho day to go
A fishing in -Lake Ida
'Whoro tho ,
Big .
. . ' Bass . -s -'
Grow.
A Pitiful Plaint.
To the Editor of tho .Housewife's
Homo Comfort: As a husband and a
father I have a complaint to make con
cerning your journal, and others of
the same class. And I am not'alono
in this complaint, although I may be
tkd first to voice it. 'Pray boar mo
with me while I unload my burden
of grief upon you.
My wife tho best and Bweotest
woman in this or any other cityIs
the victim of, a fad. Her fad is wom
an's journals. She subscribes to some
thing less than a score and consider
ably more than a dozen, and it Is be
cause she takes everything in earno3t
that she sees in them that I come now
slight chango for tho bettor, and
luncheon was immense. Tuesday's
dlnnor was another dream of gastro
nomic joy, but profiting by oxporionca
I curbed my appetito. Wednesday's
breakfast and luncheon wore stilt
further improvements, out when I
pushed back from tho dinner table
Wednesday evening tho good wife
hauled out a little account book and
pored ovor tho figures for a minute.
Then sho said:
"My dear, I have faithfully followed
th'o schedule I cut out of the House
wife's Homo Comfort. It said this
sort of thing would cost us $1.73 a
weok, but including dinner this even
ing I havo spent just $21.87, not count
ing tho gas. Could you persuado your
employer to advance you a week's
salary so I can follow tho schedule up
until next Sunday evening?"
Now I submit to you, my dear sir,
that this Is a confidence game deserv
ing of severe condemnation. Wo fig
ured it out that evening, and we dis
covered that your schedule instead of
costing $1.73 a week for a family of
five, would really cost $48.93.
But this Is not all. We havo been
considering the idea of building a
homo of our own for some time. Wo
have taken note of all the architec
tural designs published in your jour
nal and others of a like class. Most
of, them are for houses costing from
$7,500 to $28,763. One design was of a
"handsomo and cheap cottage" that
you say will cost "only $4,500." Tho
man who would speak of a "handsome
and cheap" cottage costing $4,500
either lives In an attic room or a
Drown stone front on Fifth avenue. I
am not prepared to say which. But a
month or so ago you, in a spirit of
forgetfulness, published the design of
a cottage costing $1,800, including the
plumbing, a walled cellar, a dinky
gargoyle or two and a lot of ginger
like her mother did before her. But
in an evil moment sho conceived tho
idea of 'following a weekly schedule
of menus outlined in your family jour
nal. You know what I mean. One of
those schedules whore you give a lot
of recipes for three meals a day for
sevon conseoutivo days, preceded b
a little note to tho effect that tho
schedule provides a -way of living on
$1.73 a weok for a family of five and
havo some loft over to lend to Iho
neighbors. "Tliero are fivo In my fam
ily, including mysolf, and . I don't
amount to much around the house
save on salary day.
When sho saw that fatal lino, "For
a family of fivo," she succumbed. Sho
began with broakfast Monday morning.
It was a good breakfast, although I
never did like oatmeal. Luncheon was
also good, even if made up chiefly of
stuff the grocer sells in cans. But
dinner was a dream of gastronomic
joy. The good wife followed iho
schedule in every particular, and I
xato so much I droamed ofpink cows
ind blue snakes and green hobgoblins,
with mv tale of woo.
Up until a few months ago sho woo br;ad on tho roo- We thought it
content to cook and servo meals just ?u" u uuuut anu er inclined to
uenove mat Dy dispensing with tho
gargoyles, gingerbread and a part of
tho plumbing wo could get it down to
about $1,500. Wo sent for tho plans
and submitted them to a contractor,
asking for bids on it just as tho plans
showed, and also for bids on the plans,
minus the gaVgoyles and gingerbread.
He said he would build the house as
shown by the plans for $3,100, and for
$2,975 without the ornamentation. We
are still renting.
Could you not furnish us with tho
plans of a cottage estimated by you
to cost about $350? Wife and I havo
come to the conclusion that by build
ing a $350 - cottage on a Housewife's
Homo Comfort plan wo can manage to
keep within the $1,200 wo can raise
for building purposes.
Wife and I are not much on so
ciety, but occasionally wo go out
among friends, and when we do we try
to make a good appearance My dress
suit is becoming somewhat old, but
it is good for three or four more sea
sons. But every so often tho wife in
sists on having a new frock, and I
iu uisuc. xuesaays breakfast was sC never complain. I want her to dress
well. But this dressmaking business
came near bankrupting us. Last month
she began discussing tho new dres3
problem, and just as sho was growing
excited about it tho Housewife's Home
Comfort showed up. That was our
undoing. Behold, it had tho plans and
specifications for building an evening
dress that appeared judging by the
model-to be a dream of beauty. In
tho picture it -fitted tho woman like
tho paper on the wall. Of course the
woman in the picture was not built
like any woman I ever saw, being
shaped like a harpoon hook, .with a
waist about seven inches in .circumfer
ence and a spine curved like a repub
lican politician's record. -The' wife is
small, and slender, but thot plans and
specifications showed how to make
tho dress fit women like her. The es
timated cost -was $13.99. Armed with
the plans and specifications she went
down town and purchased the goods.
When she came back the bill for the
material showed a total of $22.17, and
sho still was shy tho buttons, some
thing she calls illusion and stuff
known to the initiated as skirt bind
ing. She grabbed the scissors, the
tapeline and a paper of pins, and be
gan cutting, measuring and pinning.
She was at it when I left in the morn
ing and at it when I got home at
night. Sho kept It up- for a .week,
save when she jaunted down town
to get a little material actually needed,
but not shown in the specifications.
Finally the dress was completed. I
have no complaints to make about
its looks. It is really a handsome
dress, and it fits well. T3ufc I have a
complaint to make concerning the cosf.
Instead of costing $13.99 it cost $38.50,
a -week of hard work, numerous cold
meals and a lot of red-hot thoughts'.
I will stand for the extra work, the
discomfort and tho thoughts, but I
submit that in all justice you owe me
$24.51, which you may remit 'by draft,
money orders, stamps, check, postal
note or express order.
A few nights ago the baby become
slightly ill. The drug store was open,
but the doctor was not at home. The
wife hunted up a few back numbers of
the Housewife's Home Comfort and
searched until she found something
in tho "Home Physician" department
that seemed to fit tho baby's case. It
said to get a certain lotion and batho
tho baby therein. I hiked down to the
drug store and secured tho stuff, and
the wife bathed the baby. It may bo
all right, but I doubt it. The baby
looks like a boiled lobster and the
tender skin ig peeling off wherever
that stuff touched it. Is that what
you wanted it to do? If it is, you
havo succeeded, but it's almighty
tough on the baby.
Now, I want to ask a few favors of'
you. Please don't give us any more
of those $1.73-a-weok-for-a-famlly-of-fivo
recipes until you havo tried it
yourself. It's too expensive experi
menting with 'om out here in tho west.
Please don't print any more plans of
"cheap and handsome cottages costing
$15,000." A fifteen-thousand-dollar
house is a mansion out here, even If it
is a "cheap cottage" In the neighbor
hood of the Housewife's Homo Com
fort office. If you are a man, have
your wife try your "$13.99-for-a-hand- .
somo-evening-dress" plans for her3elf -before
springing them on the wives
of us poor tollers. If you are a
woman mend tho error of your wayB;
And if you havo any jnore recipes
for ailing babies try 'em on your own
offspring before printing them. If they. ;
parboil your babies it may save our-
babies much suffering. ;:)
. Please give this letter consideration.) 1
It comes from tho bottom of a lieart?j
full of woo. Yours in trouble . I
A WEARY HUSBAND; -h
P. Si That complexion wash you
printed in, the? Juno number may be.j
all right in some cases, but it madep
mywlfe's face look like :a war maplj
of Europe smitten with a chunk otr
raw beef. ' A. W. H. t ;
Lie- W. M. M.
. t
it
With the Paragraphed. "
We are anxious to knowwho is to t
be the future keeper of the elephant,.,.
Hanna or Oxnard. Memphis (Tenn.) ,
News. , ,
t
Except in tho.se portions where more-
or less fighting is going on daily, the
Philippine islands are said, to be com- .
pletely pacified. Milwaukee (Wis.). .
News. s
After Admiral Dewey's declaration.
the American eagle can no 'longer af
ford to do any screaming over the bat-
tie of Manila. Boston (Mass.) Trav
eler. The Philippine bill-debate was long'
drawn out and only one republican
was converted. Veriy they are -a
hard-hearted and a stiff-necked lot. '
Nashville (Tenn.) News.
4
By the way, gentlemen of the repub
lican press, what has become of that
trust busting weapon hurled at the
packers by Attorney General Knox?'
Dubuque (la.) Telegraph-Herald.
Dewey seems very anxious to con
ciliate the national administration.
He well knows how to go about it, as '
was shown by his testimony before tho
Philippine senatorial committee. Jop
lln (Mo.) Globe.
After all Whitelaw Reld is to come '
home without having' a chance to wear
his coronation breeches, but he haa
the satisfaction of knowing he can
leave them to his family as an heir?
loom. San Francisco (Cal.) Call.
The republicans have passed a lot
of good laws this session. That is,,
they passed by the laws, but the laws
were not passed by them. -The Eng-i
lish language is a funny thing some
times, isn't it? Memphis (Tenn.),'
News.
A man arrested at the White house
as a crank declares that he has "tho
power of telling where Uncle Sam is
being robbed." There are lots of that
kind of cranks in Washington, but
they are shrewd onough to keep quiefl
about it Philadelphia (Pa.) Public .
Ledger.
Thirty-two thousand dollars' worth '
of coffins in which to bury American
soldiers are being sent to x Manila by,
the transport Kilpatrick. That is $4,-
000 more than all the exports to Ma
nila in May, therefore elucidating
clearly that trade "follows tho flag."
Buffalo (N. Y.) Courier.
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