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About The Plattsmouth journal. (Plattsmouth, Nebraska) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (July 31, 1913)
BOWSER SDIVORCE Lack of System In Household Creates Dissension. SHOESTRING START? IT. Not Finding One Bowser Homilizet, Than Waxes Sarcaatio Fate Then Comes to Mrs. B.'s Rescue, and Spouse's Triumph Is Shortlived. By M. QUAD. Copyright, 1913, by Associated Literary Press. "M RS. BOWSER," began Mr. Bowser as he cnme down stairs the other morning, "Is this house run on a sys tein, or ii everything expected to take care of Itself?" "What do you wean?" she asked. "I mean that I have been looking for a shoestring for the last hour and a half and that, nothing of the sort is to befounJ" "No; I (Jjn't believe there Is one In the house" , "I presume not. 1 presume the 200 pairs I bought in Detroit the day be fore we left have all been chewed up by the cat or sold to the ragman. If there's a worse run house than ours In America I'd like to see it." "Why, Mr. Bowser, you only brought home three shoestrings, and you used two of those to tie up your papers." "Well, Where's the other?" "I can't tell. We may have lost it in moving and unpacking." "Don't doubt it in the least. While a Bhoestrlng is not as big as a piano or as valuable as a clock, the loss of It MB. BOWSER ENTE11ED WITH A DOORMAT IN BIS II AND. shows the want of system, a reckless extravagance truly discouraging. Ilave you got a piece of clothesline in the house?" "I I don't think so," she stammered "Probably not, probably gone to join the shoestring. I must have something " to tie up iwy shoe with, however, and I w'll use a piece of stovepipe wire." After breakfast, when ready to go out, he said: "Mrs. Bowser. 1 hope you will take this lesson to heart. Carelessness in a wife is a very reprehensible trait." "You are Just as careless as I am," she protested. Most Husbands Models. "No, uia'am; no, ma'am. I never mis lay anything, forget anything or lose anything. Very few husbands do. I will go around the world with n pin in my vest and bring the same one back with nie. If you go out into the street today you had better have a policeman go with you. If not you'll lose your purse or be robbed of your cloak." When Mr. Bowser came up to dinner he entered the house with a smile on his face and a doormat in his band and said: "1 found a boy walking oil with this mat. Has any one taken the range out of the basement? It's a wonder to me they haven't come in after the car pets." "That's a mat the girl put out in the barrel to be carted away," she ex plained. ;' "Oh. it is! More reckless extrava gance, I Bee! Mrs. Bowser, I want to sit down with you some day and have a long talk. I think you mean well, but you are deficient in Judgment, and our knowledge of the world la very, very limited." "Do you know everything?" she sar castically queried. "Mrs. Bowser," he replied as he fold ed his hands under his coattails and assumed his favorite attitude, "there are probably one or two things 1 don't know. I don't claim to know It all, and 1 don't say you know nothing whatever. The husband who does not. however, know forty times as much as his wife would be considered a stick of a man. Did you go out today?" "I did." Bowser's Watch Gone. "Was your bonnet taken off your head?" "No, sir." "Lucky very lucky. You are to be congratulated. I don't" "Mr. Bowser. Where's your watch?" she Interrupted. "My watch, Mrs. Bowser my watch Is- Great Scott!" He dropped his hand to find the j chain, but it was not there. He felt for the watel. but it was gone. "Did you leave It at the Jeweler's?" he asked as he stood with open mouth and stared at her. "Jeweler's. No! It's font! I'y I i fFfl lost Itl I've Been robbed!" he shouted as he danced around. "It can't be. Feel In your pockets." "Pockets! Pockets! Do you sup pose I carry my watch In my coattall pocket? I tell you I've been robbed!" "Well, don't take on so. Your wallet is safe. Isn't itT "G-goue!" he gasped as he put his hand up "watch and wa!'et both gone!" - "You must have been ribbed in some crow," she suggested. "Robbed! Crowd! Of course I've been robbed!" he shouted as he pranc ed about. "Get that Infernal cat oft that lounge and let me He down, for I'm so weak I can't stand up. Where's that camphor?" Goes For the Camphor. , She ran for the bottle as he flopped down, and for the ilext three minutes he had his nose in the opening. "You ought to go to the police at once," she Anally said. "G-gone. g-gone!" he gasped. "But how could you have been rob bed?" "I dunno. Hold the bottle a little higher." "You are so careful, you know." "Yes." "You never mislay anything or forget anything!" "No." ' "And never lose anything and have bo much worldly wisdom!" "Oh, my head!" "I can't make it out I'm so careless that I might lose a shoestring In mov ing here from Detroit, but you"- "Don't talk to me! Over $GO0 gone!" "A woman tried to steal my reticule in Buffalo, and 1 had her arrested, but it seems that you" "G-gone, g-gone!" he groaned. "Haven't you any idea when it was taken?" she persisted. "No." "Well, I'm sorry, but this will be a great lesson to you. You will be more" "Mrs. Bowser," he interrupted as ho suddenly sat up. "I see through It all now. It's as plain as daylight!" "What do you mean?" Mrs. Bowser Accused. "I thought it necessary this morning to give you a little advice. I felt it to be my duty as a husband. This la your way of getting even." "Why, Mr. Bowser!" "Don't why. Mr. Bowser, me! It's as plalu as that chair over there!'' "How could 1 rob you or tell any one else to?" she demanded. "Never you mind. I see it all. It's all right. Mrs. Bowser all right! Just let go this camphor bottle and take a seat In the other room. A husband will bear a great deal from the woman he loves, but when crowded too far he turns at bay. I have turned. As soon as I feel a little bit better we will come to an understanding, nnd you can prob ably take the noon train for 3'our mother's in Detroit. Robbed! Plun dered! But I see through It and know my duty!" "But what is your duty?" she asked. "D-i-v-o-r-c-e," he replied In a stage whisper. "But if you had your watch and money back?" "Woman, wo" "You left them under your pillow this morning. If you take the night train for Detroit you best have a guardian go along with you." System Gets Wabbly. "But the fact remains," said Mr. Bow ser after trying bard to think of some thing else, "that a shoestring has been thrown away. It is wanted now, but cannot be found." "You can take 2 cents out of my pin money," said Mrs. Bowser. "But it's the want of system I am complaining of. If this house was run on a system you could lay hands on that shoestring at any moment, night or day." "I think 1 can now. I have no sys tem, but you have. Under your sys tem you took that shoostring outdoors the other day to tie one of those big sunflowers up to the fence so it would not get out of the yard and down the alley." "Woman!" he shouted. "It's out there now." "Never In this world!" "Come nnd see." "If it is I'll hand you out"- It was. Mr. Bowser stood and look ed at it for a moment and then turned his back to the scene of the tragedy and walked off. He had a system, but it was wabbly in the knees and weak In the back. When the Women Rule. The women were in power, and even the police force was a skirted brigade. Two blushing coppers dragged a male crook into the police station. "What Is the charge?" asked the sergcantess. "Carrying concealed weapons," re plied Officer Mayme Ilogan. "We found this hidden under his coat." And she produced a cage filled with mice. Exchnnge. Sacred. Suffragette (lust home after strenu ous day and expectiug important cor respondence) Ilave any letters come for me? Daughter Yes, mother, but I tore them up for a doll's paper chase. Suffragette Tore them un! I never heard of such behavior, naven't I often told you that letters are sacred things? Punch. Wisdom. "This Is a fool world." remarked the cheerful Idiot "What's tho matter now?" asked the boob. "Why, we spend half our llveH try ing to save time and the other half trying to kill time," replied the cheer ful Idiot Cincinnati Enquirer. I PATERNALISM OF FEATURE OF Panama Zone Happiest and Best Cared For Commu nity In World. tVNDIXG on the Panama canal zone from the spacious decks J of a government owned steam er, riding on a government owned railway, stopping at a govern ment owned hotel and reading n gov ernment owned newspaper of life on the canal zone as conducted almost In its entirety under government auspices, one is led to Inquire: Has the United States government gone Into socialis tic paternalism in that locality, and, if so, has it been a success? So far as any evidence has ever been offered on the subject, writes Leroy T. Ver non in the Chicago Dally News, either in the hearings before congressional committees or in the personal obser vations of members of congress, the American colony at Panama, barring petty Jealousies of an official nature, has been the happiest and best cared for community on this globe. A perusal of a copy or two of the Canal Record, the official organ of the isthmian canal commission, published under the authority and supervision of that body, which furnishes one copy free to all employees of the canal and the Panama railroad who are on the "gold" payroll, shows beyond dispute the activtyy of the government in the everyday life of the canal zone In habitants. Substantially every want is met by the government, which fixes the price of food, hotel rates, rail road rates and electricity and provides churches, schools, clubhouses and places practically all government prop erty at the convenience of tho canal zone inhabitants whenever occasion demands. Canal Medals. The issue of tho Canal Record of June 18, besides the news of progress in the construction of tho canal, con tamed .a list of tho canal employees w ho during that week were eligible to receive canal medals for service ou that great work or additional gold bars marking another year of service on the part of tho older employees. It contained obituary notices and pro mulgated the fact that the treasury department had consented to the cus toms examination of household goods of employees leaving the zone in or der that they might not be delayed upon their arrival at on American port The column of "social life" proclaim ed the fact that for fifty years Christ church, on Colon beach, built by the original Panama Railway company, still remained the official church of that road, now, however, resting in the control of the American church. A list of the societies connected w ith tho church and their varied activities was set forth. Among the official circulars carried in the Issue was one fixing officially the rates at the Hotel Tlvoll, operated by the commission. These rates were officially signed by the subsistence offi cer of the canal commission and fixed the prices to be paid per room by the day, week and mouth, besides setting forth the rates, with or without meals, for meals only and the "tea room scrv ice," where tea Is dally served between 3 and 0 p. m., Just as in any first class American hotel. Special rates for em ployees of the canal are made wher ever possible. Tho last page .contains the items from the commission club houses at Culebrn, Empire, Gorgona and Gatun, showing that moving pic ture shows, tenpins, pool, gleo clubs, volley ball courts, tennis, gymnasiums, running tracks, Indoor and outdoor baseball and teachers of Spanish are provided to attract the employees of the commission within their influence. Celebrating the Fourth. A week later the Canal Record showed how generally the government C-------.-------...fcO DREAD LAST MAN'S BANQUET. No Survivor of Company B, First Minnesota, Wants to Dins Alone. The "last man's banquet" has Just been held nt Stillwater, Minn. Eight men attended, and tweuty-thrce vacant chairs, draped In black, occupied places at the table, on which rested a cedar chest containing a bottle of champagne Some day, when death has reduced the veterans of Company B, First Min nesota, to ono man, this survivor will attend the annual banquet, and alt it calling the roll ho will drink to the memory of his thirty gallant comrades who fought shoulder to shoulder with him at Bull Ruu and at Gettysburg. The sentimental custom began in 1880, when Ixtuls Ilospes, father of one of "the boys." presented tho wine on condition that the bottle remain tin- spened until the "last man's banquet" "That last banquet Is going to be far more heartrending than any of our battlefield scenes," said one of the veterans. "And none of us hopes to hear the cork pop." Lane Asks For $50,000. Secretary Lane of tho department of the interior has asked tbo senate and house committees on public lands for a deficiency appropriation of $50,000 to be used in facilitating the disposition of 2,200 land appeal coses which have accumulated In his duartnieuL SUB LIFE 01 ISTIliS Government Takes a Hand In X Everything, Even House- X hold Affairs. X had extended Its uid to make the Fourth of July celebration one long to be remembered on the zona Practi cally every committee was composed" of canal employers, including those high In rank in tho service. Among the notable steps taken were the utili zation of the government ships Ancon and Colon as resting places for the women and children; likewise the Chrlstobal schoolhouse, the govern uient hotels and the Y. M. C. A. build Ings. The commissary department made a parcel check room out of one of Its storehouses; lemonade and Ice water were served free at street stations: dressing rooms were set aside at the Bwiramlng beaches, and the police notl fled all bathers that they would call them In time to see the aquatic sporU; maps of the city were distributed to all In order that they mlglit find their way about easily and locate their friends; an orchestra was provided for dancing on the ocean piers, tho fire works were supervised by an armv captain, and a special train service for the day was arranged to suit the con venience of the population. Substan tially all that was required of the ca nal employees was their presence upon this gala occasion, and tho government did tho rest In tho same issue tho commission set forth the rates for electric power on tho zone, whether for family or com mercial purposes. Tho object of tho commission was to furnish the servlco at cost, and a sixteen candle power light, Including all renewals of the lamp, was advertised for 30 cents a month. Enough power to run a fif teen horsepower engine will be fur- nlshed on tho canal until further no tice for $50 a month. "Market Prices." Upon the arrival of tho food shins from American ports it is tho practice or the commission to set forth the "market prices" in Panama, and these prices remain fixed to tho employees until officially changed. Thev are fix ed so as to cover the cost of the pro visions t.) tho government The Item in tho issuo of June 25, read as fol lows: "Tho following changes in the price list of cold storago provisions publish ed In tho Canal Record of Juno 11 ore effective June 25: " Cents. Celery, per head n Lettuce, per pound 13 Squash, per pound 7 Turnips, per pound 4 Apples, per pound 7 Roe shad, each 75 enact roes, per pair 40 Cauliflower, per pouil 12 Green peppers, per pound 12 Cantaloupes, each 12 Watermelons, each GO "These nro articles placed on salo in tho last week." Throughout the Issues of the com mission newspaper appear at all times encouraging words relative to tho work on the canal and tho "human touch" as exemplified In marrlago notices, per sonal Items and praise of this or that shovel crew which during the last week or month "broke all records for exca vation" on the canal. Each month the paper prints the aggregate record of work done on the canal tho month pre vious, and each month this record shows the "estimated" amount of ex cavation growing smaller and the ag gregate amount of filling and concrete work growing larger. The influence of a family newspaper like the Canal Record upon those whoso deeds it re cords, with the activity of the govern ment Itself in nil matters affecting their personal welfare, will doubtless cause many Americans now in Pan ama to regret the day when the canal Itself is finished and their work is done. NAMES TWO GOOD ROAD DAYS Missouri Governor Expects Free Work Up to $1,500,000 In Value. Governor Major of Missouri has is sued a proclamation setting apart Wed nesday and Thursday, Aug. 20 and 21, aa public holidays, to be known as "good road days." Every ablebodled man in the rural' districts and city of the state is to put in these days work ing upon the public highways. The governor asks that all ordinary business be suspended and that wher ever possible the men put in full time on the permanent improvement of the roads, dragging, ditching or making culverts or bridges or whatever will tend to accomplish the greatest good. Women la the rural districts. are re quested to aid by furnishing the vol unteer workers with lunches and en couraging them with their presence and good cheer. The governor estimates that work ap proximating $1,500,000 in value will result Trip For Columbus' Bonss. Assistant Secretary of State Osbomn. who recently returned to Washington after n trip to tho West Indies, as a result of his visit to the Dominican Re public and Haiti susreests thst the bones of Christopher Columbus, which are at Santo Domingo city, be placed aboard the first shin to ko throned the Panama canal. 9 Minute "Movies" of the News Right Off the Keel Leaning tower of Pisa is tipping more every year and is In danger of collapse. j Italian embassy in Washington has started the fashion of a gold handker chief ring worn on the left cuff button. "Poison squad" In state chemical lab oratory, Trenton, N. J., ato eggs three years old. The only effect was an ap plication for a raise in pay. Baby carriage was given to e Thompson (Conn.) man, sixty years old. as a premium for getting married a short time ago. He has Just sued for divorce. A fast train on the Chicago, Milwau kee and St. Paul railroad has Just put a powerful searchlight on the observa tion car to show the scenery en route at ulght. Because he never missed writing a letter to his mother each week of the fifteen years ho has been in America a young Russian tailor In St. Louis is heir to $500,000 left by his bachelor undo In Libau. CRITICISM OF SCHOOLS UNJUST, SAY EXPERTS. System Immeasurably Ahead of That In Vogue In Former Times, Current criticisms of the public school ate discussed in a report Just issued by tho United States bureau of education. Among other things, the contention that tho "three It's" ore neg lected in the modern school is on swered with the emphatic statement that "the three R's are better taught today than they were fifty or sixty years ago." "We frequently hear that there uro 'too many subjects,' 'too many fads and frills,' and hence neglect of tho R's," Bays tho report "Tho critics who utter this sort of criticism seldom agree ou exactly what tho fads and frills are, but they Invariably look back to a golden past when the so called 'fundamentals' reading, writ ing and arithmetic were taught In such a way as never to bo forgotten. As a matter of fact, the system of to day Is Immeasurably ahead of tho school system of the past Tho growth hiis been steady. Whatever may be said against tho enrichment of the course of study, Its 'fads and frills,' the contention that tho essentials, so called, have suffered in comparison with tho past falls Hut" In discussing current criticism gen erally, the report finds that much of the criticism of tho public schools of today Is duo to a tnarkud change In the purpose of public education. "Tho cliargo of a curriculum 'behind tho times' and the demand for vocational subjects represent no mero call for different school subjects as such, but a complete transformation In tho Idea of what tho public school should do. "Those who criticise tho bookish cur riculum of tho public school, whether elementary or high school, are really striving for what they conceive to bo the changed purposo of education to reach all tho children of all tho people with the kind of training that will make them not merely intelligent In re spect to things that are in books, but will equip them directly for tho kind of life, economic nnd social, which they will lead when they leave school while those who opxso the Innovations do so because they do not concede this broader though apparently more spe cialized purpose." GOLDEN AGE FOR FARM HANDS Mells Offers Eligible Sisters and Buggy Rides as Lures. Ray Mells. a farmer of Dorset, a small town near Andover, O., simply can t keen help this summer, vet h offers Inducements that really ought to bring him an army of husky youths. Here are a few of tho inducements Mells offers to lure somo good, strong, willing farm hands his way. Lach man may have a horse and buggy on Sunday or in the evenings. Une quitting timo every evening is fl o'clock, with nothing to do on Sunday but rig up in Sunday best and go to meeung, arter wnicn a good dinner will be waiting. Wages that will comDare with the best paid anywhero in the locality, with tho most considerate treatment during working hours. "In addition to all this." savs Mells. "I have two good looking eligible sis ters and have offered to let tho boys get busy and win them if they can. There's the horso nnd buggy for their use every Sunday." Tho harvesting of the crons in Mells' neighborhood has been creatly delayed owing to the shortago of heln. All other farmers In tho vicinity have ex perienced the same troublo as Mells. Fastest Armored Cruiser. The new German armored cruiser Seydlliz nt her trials in Dantzic made a record srwd of twenty-nine knots. The vessel displaces about 25.000 tons and was estimated by her constructors to attain a nominal speed of twenty nve and a half knots. jxico J Puffins: the 0' In Mexico When Kiivernmii.t l.i lec ling, ! And p'ople ure Rfliinu'. , And half the populut io:i Is a moh. J And factions are nppralln tor hackers of their Ranie, And those who ore mt roht i are out to rob. Oh. what a Joyful feeling To hear old Sam proclaim, "O'Shaughnessy Is going on the Job!" These Anglo-Saxon fellows May do as diplomats When ti at four o'clock Is on the hob; Their howdydos and helloa And llftlnsr of tholr hats May satisfy a French or Russian mob, But down among the yellows, To end tho country's spnts. O'Shaughnessy Is going on the Jobl If Rrensor or If gringo Has treason In tils head A Smith or Jones may only stand and sob And talk the Spanish lingo As If hldalKO bred And twiddle with the seals upon Ms fob, But none of that, be Jingo, , When beef and cabbage fed O'Shaughnessy Is there upon the Jobl D'ye ever know a creature Who had a name like that Who acted like a shilly-shally Blob? ' The Irish fighting feature Sticks out beneath his hat, Or why should he be born an O, be (tobT 80, Mexicans, come meet your ' New style of Democrat. O'Shaughnessy la ready tor the Jobl John O'Keefe In New York World. TO URGE DENMARK TO HAVE FARM BOYS' CAMPS. Leading Cattle Expert Approves Work In North Dakota. That North Dakota must follow the examploof Denmark In abandoning the ono crop plan In favor of tho dairying industry and bimilar industries, while Denmark can well follow tho lead of North Dakota and the United States generally In the education of its young farmers in agricultural high schools, farm boys' encampments and similar Institutions, was tho declaration of Lars Frederiksen, the leading cattle expert of the Danish kingdom, who is in the United States to study agricul tural conditions. Mr. Frederiksen Is the special repre sentative of tho United Agricultural societies of Jutland, lie visited tho farm boys' encampment, which was held nt Valley City, N. D., by the North Dakota Better Farming association in connection with the Valley City Chau tauqua, and was much impressed with the work that was being done. Tho fact that 112 boys, directly off the farms wero brought together from sev eral counties and given a ten day out ing In which there was mixed a liberal amount of instruction appealed to bint as ono of tho best ways of training tho future farmer. " Upon his return to Denmark, Mr. Frederiksen said, ho would begin at once efforts to organize similar eu campments throughout tho couutry. In no nation has the Iden of agricul tural education been carried forward to tho extent that it has In America, Mr. Frederiksen said. North Dakota and other northwest ern states are today facing tho same problem which Denmark faced and solved thirty years nj;o, the visitor told tho boys attending the camp. Den mark depended upon one crop until tho fertility wns gone from the soil and the people wero forced to seek new ways of earning a living on the rarms. Tho dairy cow solved the problem, and today the little kingdom of Denmark supplies the United Kingdom with butter nnd Germany, to a large extent, with beef. Conditions are far better for dairy ing in tho northwestern states than In Denmark, he declared. DANGER SEEN IN GENIUSES. Educational Expert Says Brilliant Chil dren Make Worst Criminals. Children of exceptional mental bril liancy are even greater dangers to so ciety than those defective or abnor mally stupid. This Is the conclusion of Dr. Muxinllllan 1'. K. Grossemann of tho United States bureau of educa tion in a report Just made public. Tbo educational expert based his statment ou tho comprehensive study made In tho schools of tho United States. "It Is often tho exceptionally bright child or even tho genius whom we Dud on the wrong side," said Dr. Grosse mann. "The stupid and weakminded criminal is not so dangerous as the clever and Intellectual criminal." As a remedy for the uplift of mis guided Juveniles tho scientist advo vates united effort on the part of edu cators, medical men, social workers, charity organizations, wclfaro socie ties, Juvenile courts and other agencies. He declares In his report that all leparato organizations are doing com mendable work In this connection, but that Joint action Is necessary. He also advocates tho passago of legislation giving tho community tho right to di rect the educational training of every child. New Way of Treating Wood. A special treatment of native woods for use In the better grades of furni ture has been tried with success in Germany. Freshly cut birch, oak, elm or spruce is burled in earth mixed with lime and other materials and left for from three to five months. A re markably flr.e color b Imparted to the wood thus treated, so that It can be used without painting or staining, and ifter sueli treatment It has Dractlcnllv Bo tendency to shrink or swell. t