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About Dakota County herald. (Dakota City, Neb.) 1891-1965 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 11, 1907)
HOME-MADE MIXTURE 18 INEXPENSIVE AND EASILY PREPARED BY ANYONE. i Knlit to Promptly Itrltere mack oelie and Oirrrome Kidney Trnn Thle and Madder Weakness Though Harmless and Pleasant to Take. ' What win appear very Interesting to many reoplo her ' tno "'"Mclu .sikeu from a Now York dally pnoor, tlylng a simple prescription. a formu lated by a irolod authority, wha claim "that !m has found a positive remedy ;to cure almost any case of bnhache or kidney or bladder derangement. In the, following simple prescription. If taken before tlio singe of Bright' dis Me: Fluid Extract Dandelion, one half ounce; Compound Knrgon, one ounce; Oomjioaud Syrup earsapnrllla. three ounces. Shake w?TI In a bottle and tak in tciispoonful doses after each meal and again at bedtime. A .well-known authority, when asked regarding this prescription, stated Mint the. ingredient are nil harmless, and can. be obtained at a amull cost froai any gnod prescription pharmacy, or the rotkture would bo put up If asked to do. bo. Tie further stated that while this proscription Is often prescribed In rheumatic afflictions with splendid re milts, be could ace uo renson why It would not be a splendid remedy for kidney and urinary troubles and backache-as it has n peculiar actlou upon the kidney structure, cleansing ihese most Important organs and helping them to fffft and filter from the blood the foul acids and waste ninctar which atise sickness and suffering. Those who suffer can crake uo mistake In giving It a trial. Tha Trapper'a Redaction. Tile professor bad complained tliat the world In general ettll looks on sci ence In a mighCTng wuy, and that re minded one df. his companions, the Washington Sttfr s2rys, of a story of a Western trarmcr. The tr.fppcr corldng a place where roots had been dug up, examined the apot carefully. Turn, as he rose and brushed tiro earth, from his knees, he aald.gvlfli calm cduvlcf lou : "This vns dona cither by a wild hos r by a tor-rantst." . Mt. w:a-,mw swtniof syra-. for cim-irss. tMUllKR; IH,, Dl gUIUfc tWItUMI lUttrnm ttua. Msit ua.0. urai wait ooUa, M botua, g ' Rood Strpplr of London Too. Cabling fur It fumntcs of the Lon don. "Am" a formidable, work, and the fond Mfl for the. last year gives a romiukii'Me rnrillit rn1o Hie variety of tho. dlerteMc riv-nlrrnicnrs of the so ciety's" niorragcrio. Altogether, the total coHt of tlio nii'tiu was $10,000, and tlio items Inelndo 2.K1 pounds of beef, prmuds. of WscuitH, 2.9,003 egjfs, 713 gallons nf mIF:, 2S.100 tins of pro erased oMi, 4,015 fionndcrs, 12.1SD rlilloc, 7j(C0 lurriisB. y0,2T)i wbltlng, 2,555 T'lHt3 of shrimps nnd ill,2s2 purls of fMvl. In addition, thiro wore rd , poundd ot susrir, 70 Jnn of moat ex-tr.-U't, 012 loinons, 3KX) paunda of nion kc nuts, 3"J0 bounds of gi-ccns, 11,01)0 pdunds of potubnui 4X. dozens of bananas, orangca. 2,414 pounds of grapes oiwl 6.0HI quarter loaves of brepd. It Is Interesting to note that the rico nnd preserved ml lk, of whhti much larger qnnntltlcs were used In the last year tlian In lfK)T), were re quired mainly for the young elephant, the yoiuig Indian nnd African rblnoee roses aud tin young hippopotamus. Carl Duneball Teams, B:srbnN remiss existed as early ai 3845, but the first league was formed in 18P7; whoji tho National Association of, JJuBebnll Pinters was organized. Th, , as tho Utlo Implies, was an or ganization of players In fact, of ama teur jla,vera They did not remain time ajORtcurs for long however and In 1S71 bas(bnll was plawd squarely on a pro seasloi;al basis when there came Into exlstcnco thn National Association of" Prpsional BawbaM Players. It will be tXlud that tho players still governed tho tnprt and they continued to do so unlll 1S7U. It was lu this period that there w np the great ubiuvH which mcuactvl flio very lil'o of baseball, namely, gambling and tho buying nisi celling of ganieo. In 1S70 the players were doponed from the government o' irofclontil baseball, and they have never" I nee controlled the game. Hen ry Beach Ni!i!tlh:uu, In Success Maga zine. rrool C rail a. "Mj I Myl" exclaimed the good old soul. 'Tbe-ie college are just brueding regular criminals." "sjVJiat's the matter now?" anked her husband. "Ili'i-o'a a report In this paper about a Ilarvacd men beating all hltt rivals with the hammer." Philadelphia Press. Impoaatble. Tdy. papa sny you mustn't come to ee ni( any more." , "Why, Anglo, how could I? I'm al ready coining aeven limes a week I" TRANSFORMATIONS Carina Itvuulta When ('ultra Drink Inv la A liaitdonrit.' It ts alumni ns hard for an old coffee oht to cnlt the use of cotfee us It U for n. whlsUy or tobacco fiend to break off. except that the coffee user can quit -ofVcejiml take up Postum without any fiMUu; of a loss of the inortiln bevcr H"e. for when postum Is well lolled nnd served with crcani. It Is really bet ter la K'!nt of Haver than most of tlio cofteij swpu nowadays, and to the tatite. of the connoisseur It ts like tho flavor of fine, mild Java. A great transfornintl-n takes place in the body within ten days or two wocliti after coffee Is left off ami Pes 'tuni used, for the reason that the jiol ou to tho nerves cnffclnc has been ' lUcont Inued and lu Its place Is taken a ti'iuld food that contains the most powerful elements of nourishment. It U easy to make this ttt and prove tbcsistutenienru by changing from oof ftx I Pmtm. Bead "The Bond to . . Vclfir1Je,, In pks. "There's a Uetw Will on.-fc rirErraioRi; cooper "A STORY OF TKE REVOLUTION rilAl'TKIt IV. (Contlnnefl.) i "Von luive lint little to niiproheinl from his clinrmtiT." nuswcml the d:-ngnon dry ly ; "lint he in gone how wlieu and w:tlipr'r" 'lie departed ns li arrived." said Mr. Wlmnnn. "on horsebnrk, hut evening, and lie took the nortln-rn road." Tl.e oITieer lisienrd to him with Intense IntriPNt. Inn roiiiitennnce erniliially light ing into a smile of pleasure ; and the instant Mr. Wharton concluded, ba turned on his liecl and left the apartment. The Wharton observed the lrn;roon, on gain ing tho lawn, In earnest convention with his two subalterns. lu a few moments orders were given to some of the troop, and l.orsemen left the valley, at full peed, by various roads. The heavy tread of the dragoon soon announced his neroud approach, lie bow ed Biain politely ns he re-entered the room, and walking up to Captain Whar ton, said, with comic gravity: "Now, sir, my principal business beln? done, mny I beg to examine the quality of that wig?" The I'.rltlsh officer Imitated the manner of the other, as he deliberately uncov ered his head and, handing him the wi?, ohserved. "I hope, sir, It Is to your lik ing." "I ennnot. without rlolntln-; the truth, say It Is." returned the dragoou : "I pre- 'NOW, Hill, MAT I EXAMINE THAT WIG?" fer your ebony hair. But that must have been a sad hurt you have received under hiii enormous black patch." "You appear so closo an observer of thimir. I xliould like your opinion of I ir," sc. id Henry, removing the nilk, and exh!' l:ing the check free from blemish. "I'pim my word, you Improve most rap Idly in externals," added tho trooper; "if I coulil hut persuade you to exebnnge thin old Hiirtout fur that handsome blue coat by your side, I think I never could wit ness u morn ngreeublo metamorphosis.' Young Wharton very composedly did as was iv.pilrcd; and stood on exMvmly liniiflNOiiie, wcll-ilresMcd youns num. The dragoon looked at him for a moment with the drollery that characterized bis man ner, mil llieu continued; 1 his is a newcomer in tri- ecene ; it Is lixiiiil. you know, for Htriuccrs to he in troduced ; I am Cuptniu Lawton, of the irginin IIoiko. "An. I I. ir, am Captain Wharton, of his majesty's Cdth regiment of foot." re turned Henry, bowing ftillly. I lie counienance of Lawton changed ln.sinm i.v, nun ins nssumeil (piainiuess vanmhi.l, lie viewed tho figure of Cap min u iiui iou, prouuiy swelling with u pride i but disdained furtlier concealment and esiluimed. with great earnestness ; vnptaiu Hart on, from my soul I pity you ; "Oh. then," cried the father In agony, if you pity him, denr sir, why molest him? Ho is not a spy; uothing but n desire to see his friends prompted him to veniure no far from the regular army in dis-Mise. I.eavc him with mi; there is no ivward, no sum, which 1 will not cheerfi.lly pay," Sir, jour anxiety for your friend ex ruses your language," wild lawton. Iiiitiiihtily ; "but you forget I am a Vir ginian, ami a genllcmnn. luruiug to the young uiau, be coti'iuned: "Were you Ik nornnt, (.'uptaiu Wharton, th.it our pick eta have beou below von for several duys?" I did not know it until I reached them. r:ul it was then too lute to retreat said Wharton. "I came out, ns my fa;lier hus mentioned, to rci? my friends, under- ntuiiiling your partieo to be near tho lli::ii- liu.ils. or huiely I Mould not have ven tured." , All this may be very true; but the 9 affair oi' Andre has made us on the alert. When I reason reaches the glade of gen era I uHicorn, I iiplnm Ubartou, it be hoovea i lie friends of liberty to be villi Ian'..". Henry bowed to this remark la distant silence, but Sarah ventured to uri;e no:ne- iliiug in nehalf of her brother. Thi? dru- uoon heard ber. appuremly with co niiiis nation ; but, willing to avoid useless nnd embarrassing petitious, bo answered mild ly : "I am not the commander of the party, madam; Major Ihinwoodio will decide sbat niuft be done with your brother. "Durwoodie: exclaimed Frances, with face In which the rones contended for ibe mastery with Ihe paleness of appre hension ; "thank God! then Henry 1b La Won regarded her with a mingled expression ot pity nnd admiration; then shaking bis bead doubt iiii'ly, be coutin ued : "I hope so; nnd, with your permission. we will have ihe matter for his decision." "Then. bir. we may expect ihe pleasure cf Ma, or Duuwoo. lie's company short ly?" i.ked Miss Peyton. "Immediately, madam," nnswered th" dniRoou; "expresmcs nre already oo the road to nnuuuiico to blm our Hituuliou." "We Khali always be happy to see Muloi liuuwoodie." Cup'.i.in I.uwtoa inquired if there was not a peddler of the uiinvi of Birch who . lhl iu ihe valley at tiuieu. j "A I limes only, I believe, sir," repllerl Mr. Wimriou, inutiomdy; "ho Is seidoin here; I may mi.v 1 never h"e him." '"ll.el 1h n! range, ton," said the trooper, lookiti.- at tL. d.sconcird host luteutly, "ciiis,.'r.;ini iu in your ne;;t O'dghbor; aud to i he ladies it must be oaiewlint in eouve.i. 'iit. I doubt not that that muslin in the nindow stvit cost twice us r.;uoli as he wo'i'd h ive ssked t! cm for it." s Mr Wl.artou turned iu coa'.enintion, nd miv koine of tho recent purchases scattered about the room. "X tad t wbb to Lrtak this Mr. Blrcb rif Mm ft. L. r--V of his unsocial hahits, nnd gave him a call this morning, suit had I found him within. I should have placed him where he would enjoy life in the midst of society, for a short time at least. "And where might that be, sir?" asked Mr. Wlm ill n. The guard room," said the trooper, dryly. 'What Is the olTens of poor IlircU?" asked Mis Peyton. "Poor!" cried the captnln; "if he is poor. King tieorse is a bad pnymaster. If I catch him he will dangle from the limbs of one of his uamesnkes." It was no new intelligence to any of the family that Harvey Birch was dis trusied, and greatly harassed by tho American army. Ilia escapes from their hands, no less than his imprisonments, had been the conversation of tho country In too many Instances, and under circum stanced of too great mystery to be easily forgotten. In fact no small part of the bitterness expressed by Captain Lawton ngainst the peddler arose from the tinac countable disappearance of the latter when Intrusted to the custody of two of 1:1s most faithful dragoons. lie sat in portentous silence brooding over the exploit of his prisoner until a trumpet suddenly broke on the ears of the party neuding its martial tones up the valley In stortling melody. The trooper rose instantly from tho table exclaiming: 'Quick gentlemen to your horses; there comes Ihinwondie," and, followed by his officers, be precipitately left tho room. With the exception of tho sentinels left to guard Captain Wharton, the dragoons mountel, and marched out to meet their comrades. On getting sufficiently near, however, to a body of hcrsc of more than double bis own number, to distinguish countoiances, liwton plunged his rowels into lii. clmrjpr, and in a moment he was by the sido of his commander. CHAPTKB V. The ladies of tho Wharton family had collect d about a window. Frances Razed willi'a siugleness of interest that absorbed nil othr cotisidcrations. The two parties hud net yet joined, before ber quick eye diHtiiif.uislied one horseman in particular from I nose around him. Ihe dragoon sat m inn hiiikiiq wan a urmncKs anil ease that it'.iowcd blm mnster of himself nnd horse- bis figure uniting tho just propor tions ii f strength and activity, beiug tall, round, aud muscular, io his officer Law- ton made bis report, and, imle by side. they rode into the field opposite to the cottngi. The heart of Frances beat with a pulsa tion tji-arly stilling as be paused for a momeat aud took a survey of the build ing, with sparkling glance; her color chnug.'d aud us she miw the youth throw liimse.f from the Middle, she was compell ed to seek relief for ber trembling limbs in a (. hair. Thf. oHicer gnve a few hasty orders to his s(.''ond in command nnd approached the cMtnge. Frances rose from her teat, nnd uiiiished from the nparlmeut. The dniKix.u ascended the steps of the piazza, and l td barely lime to touch the outer door, when It opened to bis admission. rniKCil silently I 'd the way into a vnennt parloi , nnd, turning to the nohlier. frank ly ph'."ing both her hands in his own, ex- Iniinxd : AH, ItunwooiPe! now happy, on many accounts, i am to see you ! I have brought you in here to prepare you to meet f u unexpected friend iu the opposite room. T whntever cause It may bo owlo3, cried the youth, pressing her hands to his lips, "I, too, nra bnppy in being uble to see yju alone. Frances, the probation you have decreed is cruel ; war nnd dis' tunc may shortly separate us forever, We must submit to the nwesslty which, governs us. But it is uot love 'CiM'ft i AirroN was koon ur tub sim: or uis COMMAMlllK. spew-lies I would bear now ; I have other and more important matters for your at tention. Dear Duuwoodie, you know my sentiments this war once ended, and you may take that liaud forever but I can never consent to tie myself to yoa by any closer union than already exists, so long as you are arrayed in arms against my only brother. F.ven now, that brother is awsltlug your decision to restore him to liberty, or to conduct him to a probable death." "Your b',other?" cried Dunwoodie, starting and turning pule; "your brother I explain yourself what dreadful meauiug Is concealed In your words?" "Hun not Captain Lawton told you of the arrest of Henry?" continued Frances, In n voice barely uudib!e. "He told tie of arresting a captain of the UOth in disguise, but without men tionlng whero or whom," replied the urn jor in a similar tone. "Dunwoo:lio ! Liuuwoodie !" -exclaimed France, in the most fearful nporehen sions, "wh:it means thi agitation?" As the major tlcwly raised his face she con t'need, "Sun ly, surely, you wI nr.t be i ray your friend, my brother your broth er to an Ignjininioim death j , ' "Frances!" exclaimed the younj limn In nsony. "wl nt can 1 do? I would this moment d;e for you fjr Henry hut I ennnot forget my duty cannot forfeit my 'innor; you ycurself would be tho first to despVe me If I did. ' l e vt on i uimvno'iie . saiq 1' ranees. Ko!eaiuly, end with a free of nshy pale ness, "you have to.d me--you havn sworn that you loved n.e. IH you think 1 cnn throw myself Into tho arms of a inaa whoso lmnils are ninee! with the bio J of my only bro.hcr?" "Frances I you wriict my very benrt then pausing, tastruule wild bis fe.din. be endeavored to force u Kinlle, as be hdd ed, "hut 4ir all, we may be torturing ourselves with uuneccssr.ry fears, and lleury, when I know the circumstances. may be nothing u.ort than a prisoner of war; la which casa, I eta liberate aim on parole." 'Oh I there can be no Just grounds to doubt It; I knew I knew IJunwoodie, you would never desert us in the hour of our greatest need !" The violence of her feelings prevailed, and the agitated girl fctitid relief in a flood of tears. fc'rnnce having sufficiently recovered her recollection to comma nd herself, now eagerly led the way in'o tho opposite room. T'le salutations of tlio young men were cordial and frnuk, and, on the part of Henry Wharton, ns collected ns if noth ing had occurred to disturb his self-pos session. After exchanging greetings with every member of the family, Major Dunwoodie luckoned to the sentinel, whom Captain Lawton had left in charge of the prisoner, t leave tho room. Turr'ng to Captain Wharton, he Inquired, mildly; 'Tell me, Henry, the circumstances of this disguise, in which Captain Lawton reports you to have been found." The disguise was nsed by me to en able me to visit my friends." 'But you did not wear It until yon saw the troop of Lawton approaching?" Oh I no, interrupted Frances, eager ly, forgetting all the circumstances In her anxiety for her brother: "Sarah and my self placed them on him when the dra goon a i pen red; it was our awkwardness that led to the discovery." The countenance of Dunwoodie bright ened, as, turning bis eyes in fondness on the speaker, ho listened to her explana tion. 'Probably some articles of your own," he continued, "which were at hand, and were used on the spur o the moment." 'Xo." said Wharton, with dignity; "the clothes were worn by me from the city, they were procured for the purpose to which they were applied, and I intend ed to use them in my return this very day." (To be continued.) B0AST3 OF OLDEST PULPIT. Chareh In Albnnr, W. V., Has a, Desk Imported In lUliO. Albany, N. T has the honor of own ing the oldest pulpit on tho continent, along with that of being tho oldest chartered city In the United States. Tho pulpit stands In the First Reformed church, which was built In the year of tho building of the old California mis sions, 1793, hut, unlike them, It Is an strong and In im good repair as It was when the builders left It. The pulpit was brought over from Holland by the Dutch In K5oG to stand In their new church, which was Just building. Twenty-live beaver skins were sent to Holland ns part payment, but they became damaged In transit, so tho pulpit was donated by the Dutch West India Company. Tho building served as a fort as well ns a church, cannon being mounted upon the roof, and while tho service was going on within senti nels watched for algm! of n foe. To-day the old hour glass and an cient Dutch Biblo nru still iu their ac customed places, while in tho olden time tho pews lu front of It were occu pied by Col. Peter Schuyler, Albany's first Mayor; the patrons of tho Van Kensselncrrf, who owned land nlong both shores of the Hudson river for twenty-four miles, and Con. Philip Schuyler, one of the first three major generals !n tho Revolutionary army. lso first United Istatcs Smiator from New York. Within Its shadow the famous Iro quois chieftain, King Hcndrlck, who with Rlr William Johnson defeated tha French and Indians in the ' battle of Lake Ciorgo, was converted to Chris tianity and Col. Aaron Burr, United States Senator from New York and Vice Ptesldent under Thomas Jefferson, was married to Theodosla Provost. President Roosevelt sat before It and listened to the preacher's words ns a member of this church when Governor of New York State. The old pulpit Is rich Ui years nnd honors; .ts history Is Albany's history, the chufch's members having taken part In all the events of Interest that have happened In "ye oldo towno" sluee Its founding. Defrauded. That -this Is n world of disappoint ments, Mrs. Green hud lotig ago learn ed ; -but she found one more disappoint ment to add to her list during her visit to her daughter-in-law. 'I declare, you never can count on what folks will do, and you might Just ns well give up first ns last, she said, dejectedly, to Mr. Green on ht-r re turn. "Tliero I counseled them to name that baby Lnima Louisa, for aunt; nnd what do you suppose aunt has doue uready?" .ui. iini-ii pruies.scu uiuiKcir unnuio to conjecture. "She's willed away the Bunker Hill teapot nnd the Paul Revere sugar tongs to the Historical folks," said Mr Green, bitterly. "And I exnect noth ing but what the blue and white coun terpano will go next, and there'll bo that s3or, helpless baby without a sin gle Inheritance to her name:" "Wltu 1IU Wife's Mourr." Ouco upeu a time a uiau married a woman who had Inherited ?.00 from a gruuefather. This was all she ever recelvixl, but tiio man never got credit for his efforts the rest of his life. He built a new store. "Did It with his wile's money," tho neighbors said. Tho home was mado over and enlarged. "Ills wlfo's money did It," was the only comment The ltttlo measly Sodo sim inherited was given the credit for cv erythlng ho did during life, nnd when he died and his widow put up a monu inent with bis life Insurance, "Her Inoney paid for that," was said again. But tins 13 wbat her money really went nr: luring tier engagement she twilight hers. If a $.'!r.O piano and a $150 diamond ring, andlu a few weeks lost the ring and there was always soma regret that the didn't alsj lose thi phr.io. Atcl.sou (Kan.) Globe. Cor res io n 1 r hoc Sehotil of I, or. Gilisic Do you think she'll marry you ; Jail; Im :,l'ra!d not, I proposed by mail, you know, mi l iil!h.'ug!i she wrote two letters lu i-ply them wan tncourugouiei.t In them. Indeed?"' "Yes; the letters were 'N-o.' " Yule Maiiiu. What's read in the Bohu won't al ways couio out lu the recltatlun. Tale Record, Sr "Ills ryes seemed glued to my every movement." "Yes? That's u sign that he's stuck on you." "Are you married?'' "Yep." "Are you happy?" "Didn't I Just tell you. I was married?" Houston Po;t. . "Papa, Is n frog fish or. an nnltnnl?" "Yes! Now ruu out nird play and give me a chance to rend my paper." "I was one of thosy? saved In that terrible wreck." "How did you es cape?" "I changed my mind nt the last minute and tojk another train." "Yes: It was hard luck. He fell In love with her at first sight, bought a fifty-trip ticket nnd was refused on Ms second vlnlt." Browning's Magazine. Little Willie What Is Joy, pa? Pa Joy, my son. Is the peculiar feeling experienced by tho man who counts his money nnd finds more than be expect ed. Chicago News. Mother What's the matter, Joseph ine? Josephine Lolo hurt me. Mother How? Jrsephlne I went to hit blm on the head and he dodged nie aud I banged my hand ngalnst the wall. "Did you get home before the storm broke last night?" asked tho first club man. "Of course," replied the other. "The storm never breaks nt my houso until I get hnme." Pnilndolphia Press. Dicky Y'our dad always goes to sleep In church. Georgey My dad has a right to g5 to sleep In church, if ha wants to. He gives more to the preach er than any other man In tho congre gation. Examiner (to medical, student) Now lot us take nuncndlcltis. On what grounds should you decide that nn Im mediate operation was necessary. Med ical Student On tho financial condi tion of the patient. Townc I understood you to call Mrs. Rownder a widow, but her hus band Is living. Browne Oh, yes; she's what you might call n "club widow;" she's a woman who has a late hus band. Philadelphia Press. Inquisitive Acquaintance! Have you ever ftionght what you would do If your gas bag should collapse while you wero half n mile or more up la tho air? Daring Aeronaut Often, I should stnrt nt once for terra firma by the shortest passible route. "From tho grammatical standpoint,' said the fair maid with the lofty fore head, "which do you consider correct, 'I had rather go home' or I would rather go home? Neither, prompt ly responded the young man. "I'd much rather stay here, Answers. "So you quit smoking because she asked you to?" said the youth with the clamshell cap; "Y'es," answered the lad with the turned up trousers." "And then?" "Then she went walking with a man wiio smoicen u pipe, uei-auw one said it kept away mosquitoes." Wash ington Star. A prominent society women tohl her butler to tell all visitors that she was not at home. At night, when enumer ating the persons who had called dur ing the day, he mentioned the lady's sister, when his mistress exclaimed: "I told you, man, that I was alwnys at home for my sister! You ought to have shown ber in." Nest day the lady went out to make n few calls and during her absence her sister came to the house. "Is your mistress nt home?" she asked the butler. "Yes, madam," was the reply. The lady looked every where for her sister. She said to tho butler: "My sister must have gone out, for I cannot find her:" "Yes, madam, she has gone out, but she told me last night that she was alwnys nt home to jrou." Philadelphia Record. AN UNEXPECTED INSPIRATION. How a Wnlter and a Mustard Jar SiruueMloil a Sons; Refrain. Alfred G. Bobyn, who composed the) music for the lyrics In "A Yankee Tour ist," confesses that the refrains of his songs come to him sometimes in the least expected way, says the New York Tel ecru ph. "For instance," he nald, "Wallace Ir win nnd I turned up last season nt F.lyrla, Ohio, for the first night of 'A Y'nnkee Tourist.' We had traveled nil night throuv'h rain, lying under blan kets that possessed the peculiar quality of cold flap Jacks, nnd we were anxioiu for something hot. So we hustled to the nearest hotel, seated ourselves nt the breakfast table, hailed th sleepy waiter and ilem-uiiled lamp cdTips and coffee. "Wouldn't you like to have a little mustard?' asked the waiter. "Loud utilsuii chorus,' 'No!' "In the course of a long hour tho waiter returned with the fodder. 'I did not order chicory,' said I, after sipping the et:p. "I did not iirder sheep,' mild Mr. Irwin, after tastirg a chop. " 'Wouldn't ymi like to have a Ilttl mustard?' risked the waiter. "'I will take sumo Worcestershire an nee,' tmM Irwin, 'In disguise the sheep.' "In que f of the sauce the wnlter re mained ten minutes. He returned with a Jar of mustard. 'We got no Worces terslilrc' l:e said. wou!d;s'l y u I'-ke 4 tardr "I tV.'ik that Itep-vt i: '.".'. " 'Wi.uV.ll't - nil :iHilogetienlly, 'but ohave a little mus- cans, said Irwin. like to hav lit tie 1:111s --tan!?' "'Why, t!ia!'s good meter for ma Fie!' I sai l and hummed a tutio which llttel the words. "We drive the waiter away, ond, with the m;;;ard Kit set In the ta'de'i eeu'-r 11s a I'ouvt of inspiration, trwln Ihv'H'I Io I.' ''i' l-: ' "ml I to comp.so on the talile linili. "We'll cl:ai:-e the word 'mustard' to 's,v.'.'!;c: ri.' said l:wlii, and with that as a rei'rnlii we liml workivi out one of the i';-i.i"'i,i'.l mugs In the opera In n half nr." Most pcicile ;::v "with" you as lou as they uie talkii g tu you. Some men would rather take a whip ,plng thau t.'Le a d.uu. Vt.r B W 1 M AMERICAN WTN3 H0N0D i AJrZJW& ' ' 1 : IP 1 Ay7iv, sib w f , s ve"',f ' k'v- ni iW-v- i "vlf Iflilik Vvy vfj'gkLziJL. B Mrs. Burckhardt, of New Y'ork, is balled by her friends ns the most beau tiful woman In the world, following her victory in winning tho beauty prize nt Franzensbnd, a German watering place near Baden-Baden. Mrs. Burck nanlt competed with famous beauties of Germany, France nnd other countries. The "beauty competition" Is nn annual evcut in Frunzrnsbnd. It was organized by the town council, and any woman who Is not a professional beauty Is eligible to compete for first honors. Professional beauties, however, nre barred from the contest. By winning first honors this year Mrs. Burckhardt added to the American woman's general reputation throughout the world of being the most beautiful of all women. VrrrVWrrVsrVrVVV' I CARRYING OUT THE BARGAIN VlVVSrVsr)rrrrrrXrrV It was Mr. Sedgwick's first visit to the new country home of his brother-in-law, Mr. Drake, and he was much Interested In the place. As he and his host were strolling round the grounds after dinner, he asked, "Who was your brawny friend who ore with us?" "Oh, didn't I introduce you to Ole?" "Yes, you Introduced him, but you didn't explain him," was the smiling reply. "Ho Is nn old Norwegian wood-chop-nor, nnd he has two more of my "din ners coming to him." Mr. Drake chuckled. "The fact is, I'm not used to dealing with these rural workmen, and Ole got rather the best of me, I think. "You see that great pile of stove wood ranked up by the barn? Well, I engaged hi in to split it, nnd when 1 was trying to got him to name hit price for the work h said It depended on how hard it was to split that some wood was much easier than other wood. "'Can't you tell how much It would be worth a cord to do it? I asked. "'No,' he answered, 'for maybe It would be hard and maybe It would be easy.' " 'Will you take ten dollars for the Job? He looked at the cord-wood med itatively, and after a moment, said, Yes, If you'll give me my dinners.' "But how many dinners will there be? How long will it take you?' " 'Can't tell how loug, wood's so dif ferent,' he said. But we needed the wood for Immediate use, and laborers are" scarce in the neighborhood, so I s:.ld, 'I'll give J"u yur dinners for two weeks, but after that you'll have to bring your lunch.' I didn't intend to have him dawdling over the Job for the sake of the dinners. "He accepted the offer, and he didn't dawdle. He completed the work In eight days, but he's faithful to his din ner engagements. He comes regularly everv noon and eats 11 hearty meal. nnd I half believe, from the twinkle in those blue eyes of his, that the old man enjoys the Joke on me as well as ho docs the dinners. JOSS WAYLAND'S CONTxtlBTJTION, Shm Thonnht the MUslonarjr'a Wife Mluht Ue Human, Too. Before the ladles In the vestry parlor. engaged In packing the box for the family of the Rev. Joseph Gordon, wUj, lu a far-away western field, performed the duties of missionary, teacher, law yer aud patriot for the salary of five hundred dollars a year, mere appear 0,i sudden vlslo-.i. The vision was In the most stylish of new spring fashions, from the top of her exceedingly-expen sive hat to the tips of her handsome nlioes. Beneath the hat her eyes were half-npologetic and half-daring. "I've brought my contribution," she said, putting a package down before Mrs. Henry Thorpe. "1 didn't ask you this time what was needed becau-e well, because I struck. It came to me suddenly b;w. If I were a missionary wife, I should loathe the sight of cotton cloth and second-hand clothes yes, and new ones, too, when they're all so dreadfully Henslblo and tiought to last and how I'd long with all my soul for something frivolous. Of course," with 11 sudden dimple, "Fin not claiming that I know anything about how mission nrles' wives really find. I supp ise they are all dreadfully good, aud don't ban ker at all after worldly vanities; but still, I don't believe it will hurt. I'm going now, so that you can disapprove of me. Good-by! In dead silence Mrs. Henry Thorpe opened the package. It contained AS GREATEST B.ZAUTY. two-pound box of the best bonlsins three of the latest novels, and n bit ot green pottery. The ladies looked al each other In dismay. ' "It seems wlckol," Mrs. Henry Thorpe said, in honest distress. "Novels when the missionary must so need new books!" Mrs. Harper la. mented. "I can stand tho books better than the vase," Miss Ambrose declared. "Well," Mrs. Tkoriic said, with n sigh, "I supiMise they'll have to go. But I must say it hurts." So tho things Eleanor Wayland's Idle, useless things were packed and sent In the box, and In duo time n let ter of thanks reached the church. Mrs. Thorpe read it aloud In tho missionary meeting. At the close came a peculiar paragraph. "And now, dear friends, I'm going to make a confession. I suppase you'll think me terribly frivolous and unlit for a missionary's wife, but there were, tnree tilings mat 1 just cried over 1 the candy, the new stories, and that lovely, lovely vase. "I don t believe you can imagine how starved one gets out here for something that Isn't desperately earnest. I haven't seen a ' bonbon since I was married,1 two years ago, nnd, oh, how hungry. I've got for a new book oneo In a while! And the vase well, I shan't care If wo do have nothing but potatoes for break fast If I have that vase full of flowers on the table. Thank you all a thou sand times; but thank especially the' dear friend who remembered that mis sionaries' wives nre terribly human, af ter all." A girl In the back of the church slip ped out softly. "Oh, I'm so glad!" she said ta the November sky. Youth s Companion. The Manchester Martyrs. Along in '17 or thcreahouta some Irishmen tried to rescue n bunch of Feulnu prisoners in Manchester, aud 11 police seregaut was stmt and killed. The prisoners got away, which may have had something to do with tha up shot, too. The government was natur ally sore, and they managed to hang three of the rescue parry without too much fine haired fuss as to whether they had anything to do with the shoot ing or not At that time Fenians and Nationalists were at daggers drawn, and the church was heavy against the Fenians, of course, but they were all one. one In agony and shame over those Irish boys strung up in an English town. All their helplessness, all the bitterness of England's might, England managed with those halters to drive festering deep afresh. Think of a town the sizoof Dublin turning out a fun eral procession of liO.C(M) people, nnd think of bow those UO.IKiO Irish were feeling when I tell you they were quiet quiet lu those streers where the low est hovels had hung out their tilts of green-twined black. Mcl'lure's Maga zine. Trictl Uvrry Oilier War. Church "I see the custom of t,tand Ing up when a patriotic song is an nounced Is becoming istpular." Gotham "Yes; 1 think some day I'll start a patriotic song In 'a crowded, street car and see if I can steal thatj seat away." Yonkers Statesman. Kw Home Into Sucl.My. Pater Amerlcanus So that was tla great Mrs. Roliudust, was It? Lat' si't; she married Into society, didn't she? The Innocent Abroad Oh, father! No! She divorced Into It. Pock. Open u door lu sunniKT, aud files slip In; In winter, It's cats. Always Bome reason for boys to keep the door 1 1 cloeetL