5
LADY HELEN STEWART
ODD a BITS a OF
NEBRASKA a LIFE
THE COURIER
r
Bloomington citizens of a timid na
ture were frightened the other evening.
Out in a field near town a small soli
tary tent had appeared. Somebody had
seen what he took to be a couple of
skulking men about it during the after
noon. As night drew near the alarm
spread. Even the officers were infect
ed with the fear, it seems, for none
ventured to the spot to Investigate.
Dread of some new, audacious mode of
night robbery was prevalent. People
thought the place the rendezvous of
same very cool burglars and locked
their doors and barred their windows.
Relief came only with the welcome rain
of the early night. It drove the parties
to a hotel where they proved to be a
man and his wife, bicycling from Den
ver to a point in the east.
Any "man hates to stub his toe even
on the smallest obstacle. He hates
still worse to fall as a result. It Is
so humiliating, even If not painful. A
physician in Friend suffered such an
accident that was extremely acute In
both conditions. Bearing the dignity
of his profession in his stride he ap
proached the railroad track. The mis
calculation of an Inch in the height of
a rail means a whole lot to a man
sometimes. It did to this personage.
He could not regain his balance and
over he toppled. While mentally blister
ing the offending rail he landed with
his chin on its mate. His false teeth
were shattered.
Gasoline engines are trouble enough
without the occasion of tampering.
Two blacksmiths, partners, of Elgin,
are convinced that such machines are
engines of Satan and that some people
are unquestionably his engine men. One
evening not long ago the shop was en
tered by some imp or imps of perver
sity. They surrounded the tank and
let out its five gallons of gasoline.
Then they filled It with the same
amount of water. After breaking a
few plugs and other minute bits of
the mechanism they went home to
pleasant dreams. Naturally enough,
these have, been the farthest from the
sleep of the blacksmiths since.
"Mamma, I haven't a little brothex
any more." The small daughter ot
Mrs. A. H. Wilson of Tekamah calmly
addressed her fond parent, who was
picking cherries in the back yard.
Only a few minutes before she had left
her two babes near the lawn hydrant
of the front yard. Mystified and yet
horrified by the placid announce
ment of her daughter the mother
dashed to the front yard to find the
eighteen months old boy face down
ward In a tub of water, unconscious
and apparently dead. Vigorous and
long continued measures served to
bring back signs of life and the bab
was saved. The water was low In the
tub and the two children were reaching
for bubbles and leaves when the
younger overbalanced and fell In.
Amusement flickers over the faces of
some of Nemaha's citizens, consterna
tion over the faces of others. That
gentle berg denies the virtues of liquors
and the drinkers are obliged to get
their booze elsewhere, Auburn being a
favorite place. The other day a prom
inent citizen of Nemaha dismounted
from the train after a business Journey
to Auburn. A good many of his
friends of both sexes happened to be
at the station. Suddenly his bottle be
trayed him. It was snugly Incased in
his hip pocket and he thought It se
cure and secret. He had a too affec
tionate friend who slapped him smartly
on the thigh. It went pop! the bottle
did! The vision of Its soaking contents
and its odor were convincing without
the added testimony of the man's
abashed solicitude.
A dog of Newfoundland bringing ut
Is a source of perplexity to the Falls
City Journal. Why Is it that a family
so poor that It depends on the county
for aid will maintain such a creature?
That is the question the answer for
which It racks Its Intellect. The same
problem seeks solution In nearly every
town. This particular dog has a vag
rant fancy which leads him ruthlessly
over the gardens and lawns and flower
beds of the neighbors with results pro
ductive of unmentionable English. The
lowing kine in rambles wild could do
no more damage, say the complainants.
Two remedies are in sight one Is the
brutal practice of poisoning, and the
other the education of the family
which might be equally brutal. It's the
same In other towns. The depletion of
rations caused by the canine of the
poor would feed one of the suffering
members of the household. But they
like the dogs too welL Anybody likes to
be looked up to and who will look up
to a poor man if not a dog? Perhaps
that is the sentiment that rules.
The discerning editor of the Hayes
Center Republican sees sermons not
only In stones but In maccaronl wheat.
Before his piercing eye lay a telegram
announcing that an Indiana company,
and the government also, are interested
in Introducing this kind of wheat In
Nebraska. It has been raised in Russia
with Immense success and because of
its resisting powers against drouth it is
recommended as the Ideal wheat for
Nebraska. Herein, thought the editor,
the government is beneficent. Alas for
those who believe the government Is a
machine of oppression. Here Is evi
dence, even In maccaronl, that it is not.
Very far from it! The government
stays awake nights racking Itself for
Ideas which will emancipate the farm
ers. It cannot be denied! A govern
ment that will recommend maccaronl
surely is not tyrannical.
How would you like to have your
thumb yanked out by the roots? Pleas
ant sensation, of course. C. W. Harney
of Tekamah testifies to as much. He
was rounding up a cow while on horse
back and this member was caught be
tween the pummel and the rope Just
as It drew taut. The animals, however,
did not stop motion but slowly pulled
tighter, while the rider, unable to with
draw him thumb, watched It being
pulled from its moorings. The Joint
was separated and the stretching ten
dons were to be seen through the brok
en skin and flesh when a change in the
positions of the animals brought the
fun to a close.
It is doubtless possible that Nebraska
contains some queer and unscrupulous
farmers, but Nebraska editors do not
believe any of them can be found to be
quite as barbaric as the Kansas fanner
who made a prize of his daughter In
order to save his wheat. This strangely
constructed agriculturist possessed sev
eral hundred acres of wheat. It was
an amazingly good crop and he didn't
want to lose it. But he couldn't get
enough help. His daughter was a girl
of much loveliness. She was worship
fully admired by the farm hands and
this gave rise to an Idea. To induce
the men to put in their time to the
best advantage why not put her up as
a prize? Sure enough, why not? And
he did. The one who harvests the
greatest amount of wheat may wed the
girl, was the offer he made. Of course
they worked hard and the wheat was
saved. The poor, girl had no choice.
But, thank heaven, the wheat was
saved!
The sight of half a dozen traveling
men fondling a pair of twin boys In a
railroad station at Beatrice amused a
waiting crowd the other day. Rain
was rattling on the roof of the build
ing and the outside world was dreary
enough for anybody. The train was
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Among the most beautiful of the women who. by virtue of their titles,
had gathered to grace the coronation of King Edward and participate In
the ceremony at the Abbey Is Lady Helen Stewart. Lady Helen Is a
greaL favorite in English society. The robes that she will wear at the
coronation brings out her rare comeliness to the best advantage.
late and something must be done to
while away heavy time. The men were
not passionately disposed to play cards
but they .were attracted to a pair of
baby boy twins of chubby build and
crowing good nature. A quarrel for
possession then followed. In order
that some measure of equality and
peace might be maintained the plan
was adopted that any man should pay
the babe five cents a minute for the
privilege of holding It. Soon the money
was clinking and when the train ar
rived each babe was in possession of
about two dollars.
Everybody caught fish at Blue
Springs the other day. The Blue river
courses through this town and during
a period of high water hordes of the
finny element made a long steady rush
for the dam and over. Catfish, buffalo
fish and carp In unlimited number tried
to get over at one and the same time.
The reason the number below was so
much smaller than that above may be
found In the spears of the citizens.
Lining the shore and filling many boats
they plied their murderous art and all
cooks fried fish for several days thereafter.
THE
First National Bank
OF LINCOLN. NEBRASKA
Capital, $800,000.00
8urlns and Profits, . 71.304.00
Dapodts, S,6t,328.0O
S. H. Buknkax, A. J. Sawtxx,
President. Yice-Preaidnt.
H. S. Fuxx ah, OHhicr.
H. B. Evani, Fxavk Paixs,
AaVt Cashier. Aat't Caahier.
United States Depository
GOLFIAND HAMMOCKS
HhCwfv?
HKsji 'i daWANA Fancy colored Hammock, open weeve,
J ffA Fl wiin spreaaer, iu ieei Dyi incnes,
Ysj. EG. ' M eacn 75c
NAXSJfcep-J&i -Strong cotton-weave Hammocks, with
MJiJHKtfH Ml "''SS valance, pillow and spreader, good,
1 serviceaoie colors, special $i.ao
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CLEARING SALE OF GOLF
CLUBS AND CADDY BAGS
About 50 Golf Clubs every size,
style and make, straight discount of
FIFTY PER CENT
rty ik
rialaHaVl''laafaaPlir
"WaHr
CADDY BAGS, this week,
ONE-THIRD OFF
RUDGE & GUENZEL CO., "18-"281?smECT-
Tennis, Base Balls and Bicycles at Lowest Prices.
