THE COUBIEB
Dr. CHAB. B. HUTCHINSON
Dr. MABY B. HUTCHINSON
OSTEOPATHS
8boomd tloor, brownell block
Obstetrics and Female Disorders
a Specialty
Offlce PbonelFTO Home Phone U018
AT LINCOLN PARK ON SUNDAY
1 H. V. BR0WN
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THE BANDA ROSSA, WHICH HAS BEEN ENGAGED FOR AFTERNOON AND EVENING CONCERTS AT
, LINCOLN PARK TOMORROW.
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Jfu from Jlnywfyert
Speaking of haggis, the Boston Jour
nal recalls the experience of a favor
ite actor who was accustomed to
spend his summers In Wilton, Me.
There he noted when, as the custom
was, a farmer "killed a critter," the
liver, sweetbreads, kidneys, etc., were
thrown away. He offered to purchase
these delicacies but though he sot the
goods, the "sturdy farmer scorned his
proffered gold." Not long after he ob
served, as he walked through the vil
lage, he was the cynosure of all eyes,
and was followed by a wondering if
not admiring crowd, chiefly of the
young. "Aha," thought he, "I cannot
escape my fame; my glory as an actor
has followed me even to this obscure
hamlet," and he was mightily puffed
up till he overheard one yokel shout
to another: "Bill, there goes the feller
what eats Innards."
A New York city magistrate recently
had before him the case of a pair of
confidence men accused of robbing a
farmer on a visit to the metropolis.
The magistrate asked them as to their
side of the story.
:"Well, Judge," explained one, "we
simply offered to bet him $300 that we
could take a deck of cards, shuffle
them so he could see us, and make two
Jacks come out together. Helost.
That was all, judge."
"What's your name?" the magistrate
asked the spokesman.
."Jack O'Brien, judge."
"And yours?" turning to the other
prisoner.
"Jack Devlne, your honor."
."O'Brien," said the magistrate, "I
give you four years; Devlne, I give
you three years. And now, gentlemen,
I'll Just bet you 5500 that you two
Jacks do not come out together."
.While speaking of the serio-comic
side of stage life recently Miss Clara
Morris told the following story as an
experience of her own:
"Somewhere in the world," she said,
"there is an actor and a good one
who never eats celery without think
ing of me. It was years ago, when I
was playing Camllle. In the first scene
you will remember, the unfortunate
Amond takes a rose from Camllle as
a token of love.
"We bad almost reached that point,
when, as I glanced down, I saw that
the flower was missing from its accus
tomed place on my breast.
&
"What could I do? On the flower
hung the strength of the scene. How
ever, 1 continued my lines in an ab
stracted fashion, and began a still
hunt for that rose or a substitute. My
gaze wandered around the stage. On
the dinner table was some celery Mov
ing slowly toward it, I grasped the
celery and twisted the tops into a rose
form. Then I began the fateful lines:
" 'Take this flower; the life of a ca
melia Is short If held and caressed,
it will fade in a morning or an even
ing.' Hardly able to control himself, he
spoke his lines, which ran: 'It is a cold,
scentless flower. It is a strange flower.'
"I agreed with him."
The following letter was sent by a
Mississippi man In answer to a mat
rimonial "ad": I incloas my potograf
with My Full Descriptions. It shows
the features as nachel as can bee, only
It is to Dark; I am very lite Complex
ion, Gray eyes, Orbon hair 6 foot high,
waight 190 pounds, inclined to be hump
shouldered; a Muskier Man and a wid
ower 28 years old, with A Common
School Equations, but hav Got Anof
to Atten to Enny Business, 1 am Strict
ly Morrel. Don't use Tobacco Nor
Whiskey." He is anxious to have her
understand that her "Age, Compleck
tions, wait and All Suits me to atee.
Kind Loving Girl. I hav Only one
Thing to Offer, And it Is Neither Lands
Mar Gold. But A Strong Ann and True
Hart, and will Lay Down My Life for
the Rite Girl and Be Happy, for 1 am
"Tired of living Alone. The Girl that
Steels my Hart and takes my Name
for the Remainder of My Lif 1 will
make Happy, for i am Hunting a Girl
that 1 can idlelse and Make a Angel
of."
The only time Justice Gray of the
United States supreme court was ever
known to make a joke while seated on"
the bench was one day when Judson
Harmon, then attorney general, was
arguing a case before him. Mr. Harmon
had occasion to display a map, quite a
small one, and he referred to It as a
"bird's-eye view." The justice could
barely see It from the bench, and after
peering at it for a moment he said:
"Mr. Attorney General, I regret to tell
you that I'm not a bird." As Mr. Har
mon folded up the tiny map, the grave
and dignified justice was heard to
chuckle audibly.
An unlettered Irishman applied to the
Philadelphia court of naturalization
the other day, when he asked: "Have
you read the Declaration of Independ
ence" "No, sir." was the reply. "Have
yon read the constitution of the United
States?" "No, sir." "Have you read
the history of the United States?"
"No, sir," he repeated. "No," exclaimed
the judge In disgust, "well, what have
you read?" "01 have red hair on me
head, your honor," was the innocent
reply.
The golden text for a certain Sunday
school was, "And the child grew and
waxed strong in spirit. Luke 11, 40."
Little Ted's hand went up like a flash
whenthe superintendent asked: "Can
any of these bright, smiling little boys
or girls repeat the golden text for to
day? Ah, how glad It makes my heart
to see so many little bands go up!
Teddy, my boy, you may repeat it, and
speak good and loud, that all may
hear." And they all heard this: "And
the child grew and waxed strong in
spirit like 2:40."
Mabel In old-fashioned novels the
hero and heroine married In the last
chapter and lived happily ever after
ward. Marlon They write more naturally
nowadays. The hero and heroine
marry in the first chapter and live un
happily afterward.
AMERICAN GIRL AT
THE CORONATION
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Miss Katherine Wilson, the daughter
of General James H. Wilson, America's
official military representative at the
coronation, Is with her father In Lon
don and will be one of the honored
guests of the occasion.
Druggist
and Bookseller
WHITING'S FINE STATIONERY
AND CALLING CARDS.
fillTSo. EleTeath Street. Phone W S
PRIVATE AND PUBLIC
Library books
BOUND IN A SUBSTAN
TIAL MANNER AT FAC
. TOBY PRICES BY
South Platte Publishing Co.,
FAMES BOX MAXXB8,
135 N. nth St., LINCOLN, NEB.
FREIGHT PAID ONE WAY.
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1 Ovola Ptintmmnha
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Athletic Photographs J
Photographs of Babies (
Photographs of Groups )
Exterior Views
The Photographer
129 8mth Eleventh Strett
Carl Myrer
Hangs
Paper ....
Does Painting, Frescoing, Grain
ing, and Inside Decorating. Can
give you best service at reasona
able prices would like to figure
with you.
The Brush and Paste Man,
Phone 5232. 2612 Q STREET
YOHR Nk.
lSSAFE
) To wear in the kitchen when
you use a Gas Stove. We sell
them at cost and they don't
, cost much. We do all the dig
iging, and connect the Stove
free when bought of us.
Lincoln Gas &
Electric Light Go.
OCcm KaaeaMt Barr Black.
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