-"-r3C
THE COUBIER
ODD a BITS a OF
NEBRASKA a LIFE
The story of an aged seamstress of
Aurora is told by the Register. She
was young at the beginning of it. The
time was when she lived in a little
town In Illinois. Now she is a widow,
but one day back in that old state she
was engaged in the wholesome occupa
tion of sewing buttons on her husband's
coat. She sneezed violently with a
needle between her teeth, just as she
was measuring off the proper length
of thread. Faithfully she searched for
suddenly dislodged implement but
it was useless. The other day she felt
a curious sensation in the palm of one
of her hands. A tiny object protruded
just in sight. In a few minutes she
secured a pair of tweezers. Then she
removed the splinter that had lodged
there a few minutes before. The
needle still is missing.
Worms are not all lined up against
the farmers. One whose every move
ment and meal Is a blessing has been
discovered in the country about Beaver
City. It is a green chap with an om
niverous appetite for weeds. It seeks
its sustenance in the fields of growing
grain but touches nothing but the in
truding element, the weeds. Lamb's
quarter Is a' special favorite. The poor
groveler finds it hard, apparently, to
masticate sufficient rations in its hours
of wakefulness. The days are too short
or It. But the weeds it attacks look
-orse than thirty cents ever did.
A strange epidemic of municipal en
thusiasm has infected the women of
Grand Island. They not only love their
city but they love the people who come
to it from the surrounding country.
Tou can tell It from the way they are
organizing their strength and moulding
the sentiment of the town for improve
ments. They are tolling hard for the
Institution of parks in various parts of
the town, to be fitted with bandstands
by way of inducement to musicians;
they are striving for the erection of an
attractive place at which the country
people may absorb good food when In
town; and they are also laboring for a
building where women and children
may rest when weary and where the
babies will be cared Tor while the
mothers continue their pursuit of bar.
gains.
Phonograph music In public is rapidly
adding to the hosts whose course leads
to the insane asylums. Nearly every
business man in the small towns is in
vesting in the machines, with a view to
multitudes with money training their
steps in the direction of their empor
ium. The result is that when the coun
try editor of chaste and simple musical
tastes strides down the main street his
Rs are rasped with an unmerciful din.
When he has endured the limit he has
tens back to his den and grinds out
a plaintive appeal for a law. Some
, times he would be happy to listen to
the work of a single phonograph. But
he prays for deliverance from a dozen.
Band music, basso singers, banjo solos,
alleged humorous monologues and
crack whistlers one at a time are all
right 'hen he has no special cares on
his bosom, but to have them all sound
ing at once is maddening. The editor
of the Fremont llerald Is becoming
desperate and is planning to run for
the legislature one of these days for
the sole purpose of attempting legis
lation to assign a certain hour a day
to each phonograph man that only one
may be operating at a time.
Where Is the bride? That woman is
wanted In earnest by the editor of the
Loup County News. No, not for him
self. It is not quite so personal as
that, but he has become Involved with
a rancher in a wager that must not be
lost. An editor, says tradition, cannot
afford to lose anything, presuming
that he is ever so fortunate as to pos
sess anything. C. E. Sheldon is the
name of the ranchman. He came into
the village a short time ago feeling
rather lonesome after a siege of "bach
ing" in the sand hills. The editor sug
gested that he take to himself a bride.
But where could he woo one? Well,
the editor knew it could be done read
ily enough and that matrimony is the
simplest matter in the world when you
make up your mind to undertake it. He
offered to wager a dozen yearly sub
scriptions or something like it that he
could find a bride who would marry
the lonesome man and do it before the
Fourth. In his turn the rancher agreed
that if he did it would be his pleasure
to submit to a public wedding at the
celebration at Sargent. The editor
pretends not to be worried but he is
beginning to weaken. He avows he
was never built for a matrimonial bu
reau and ought to have had sense
enough etc.
A youth with tremendous hands is
thus Itemized in the Maywood Eagle
Reporter: "Harry Dawber caught a
catfish Monday in shallow water with
his hands that weighed twenty pounds;
It was fine; we sampled it."
The Cherry Valley correspondent of
the Ainsworth Star-Journal issues this
strange warning: "Girls look out for
that fellow with the moustache; though
it is false he may not be."
Grafton Clarion Weekly crop report:
"We are having new potatoes, 'green
peas, mulberries, cherries and with
plenty of good grass, the cows give
good, rich cream."
A sensation is thus recorded by the
Winslde Tribune: "Another bull was
killed east of town one day last week
by the train. We did not find out who
owned him or why he was prowling
!around on the track."
Oakland people who were startled by
their paper a week ago are now set at
ease by this explanation of the value
of a word: "The omission of the word
'not' from Ira Thomas article last
week entirely changed the meaning of
one sentence. It should have read, It
has always been the common sense of
this town that boys should NOT be al
lowed In saloons.' "
What's to be done with the telephone
eavesdropper? A country editor or
two has ventured to talk on the sub
ject and the wisest conclusion reached
by any is that It is well that eaves
dropping Is possible. Enough idle and
compromising gossip is spread without
the lightning facility of the telephone.
So long as it is possible that another
person may be slyly listening the
speaker is more likely to be circum
spect, businesslike and brief. For the
sake of distant sweethearts, however,
the optimistic editor dangles aloft the
prospect of a fortune for the person
who can Invent an appliance whereby
the dear ones may detect the intrusion
of the party who has no business to
hear. It would be some comfort at
least to know Just when to check the
flow of endearments.
Wearied travelers who stop overnight
at Alliance and seek to be entertained
have not far to look. Two small col
ored boys have a supply of amusement
In their dark fists. They charge only a
small sum for an exhibition of juve
nile pugilism that is described as better
than tonic to jaded nerves. It is use
less to deny that the colored race as
represented in Alliance is without orig
inality. These lads are less than ten
years of age and they conceived this
method of winning loose sheckles and
they are doing handsomely by it if
newspaper reports are, not over stating.
The lads are well matched and good
friends. They do not slug viciously at
all. They have too fond an eye to their
quarters to Incur the hostility of the
officers by losing their tempers very
often.
Lightning did sharp business in the
house of Cassius Babcock in the town
of Farnam the other evening. It struck
the building in four different spots and
set things inside topsy turvy. Just a
minute before the bolts arrived Mr.
Babcock left his bed. In the second
minute It had been ripped to shreds in
a flash. There was mad confusion and
wild stampeding among the members
of the family, while the tongues and
balls of flame danced about the rooms.
It happened, however, that none of
these bright Intruders did personal
damage. Only the family cat was
smitten and this poor beast never
breathed afterwards. All the omen
mongers In Odell are busy these days.
Right in the midst of the graduating
exercises of that town a bolt of light
ning struck the steeple of the church
in use, darted down the chimney
and from the pipe and stove Into the
basement. Several of the charming
graduates were shocked into uncon
sciousness, along with their friends.
A few were burned a little but all are
living yet. The question is, what does
it bode?
Class mottoes for graduates have all
been selected this season and most of
them have been used and are rapidly
being effaced from memory. The
Laurel Advocate, however, does not be
lieve It too late to cast a few remarks
on the subject. It would rather do It
now than wait a few months and per
haps forget about it until put In mind
by the next outburst of high sounding
jLatin phrases. What Is the use of all
this nonsense? It moans. Why don't
the students come down to the common
level where they are bound to stay for
a good many years yet? It exclaims
frenziedly. After, a few more sobbing
sentences it suggests a motto such as
this: "Beyond us lie the washboard
and the bucksaw." There you have
one that Is not only Intelligible but at
tractive to the multitudes "and It pos
sesses a lot of truth If not much
poetry," the editor adds, triumphantly.
A rather unusual coincidence In leg
breaking has attracted attention near
Pender. The small son of W. H. Merry,
a farmer, fell from a horse ho was
learning to ride and was picked up
crippled. The nearest dootor was sev
eral miles away. To get him it was
necessary for the hired man to travel
to the berg of Thurston and use the
telephone. Before he was half way
there the horse which he was riding
In feverish haste stumbled and col
lapsed. The rider was sent spinning
and then lay helpless also with a brok
en leg. He staid right there too, until
neighbors returning from town discov
ered him. They at once returned to
town and soon a doctor was on the
way to care for both patients.
True lovers are oftentimes armored
with an absent-mindedness that Is
proof against pranku. A case In point
comes to light from North Platte. Two
young couples drove to a river park on
a picnic expedition. They took plenty
of eatables and time passed swiftly.
Friends followed them with wrenches
and reversed the wheels on their bug
gies so that the large ones were in
front. Then they posted themselves
along the way to town to see the fun.
But the plcknlckers were too much ab
sorbed in their heart affairs. The dis
mayed jokers pursued them into town
and had to tell them of the mischief
before they realized what had hap
pened to them.
Grief fills the souls of a small clan of
College View children. They mlsn that
mangy old dog. It was an animal of no
authorized name but it was smart.
"Rounder" seemed to be the only sem
blance of a title It ever possessed and
for this it was indebted to one of the
wags who kept tab on the habits of
the animal.
"Rounder" was a patron of the street
cars. But he never paid his fare. He
liked to rid to Lincoln. It was this
love that got him Into trouble. And
now he Is seen no more on the village
(Continued on Page Eleven.)
PURE
. 1 vC .
OUR ARTIFICIAL ICE IS
Absolutely Pure
Telephone Orders to 2C5
LINCOLN ICE CO., 1040 0 St.
AIR FELT MATTRESSES
THE GUARANTY
j
Sleep on the Air Felt for SIX
MONTHS, and if at any time
during this period, you are for
any reason dissatisfied with it,
send it back and we will refund
your money without question.
This Mattress is made in sections, can be rolled up, is easy to
handle, and is Guaranteed not to spread.
Price - - $120
In Fancy Goblen Art Ticks and Wool Tufting, $15.00
A i-U ITT if 4 vjtffi i2""""ls
W II II . ' tK mtfcmumcjuai
Tou Mitr vcrwuT kcuol
Felt Mattresses at $J0 and Guaranteed to be equal to the so-called
Electric Felt Mattresses so often advertised at $15.00. Visit our
Mattress Department and get posted before you send money for
magazine advertised goods.
Rudge & Guenzel Co.
iii8 to 1126 N Street.