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THE COURIER;
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3. The woman who forgets her own in- fifty-five pages to Mrs. Hil'ary. Why
dividuality in her enthusiasm for the doesn't he let me alone? I can't very
work, not the woman who is constantly well afford to offend him, but I haven't
Bounding the pereonal note. time for anything but my work. That
4. The woman who has the courage to contents me more than some man's un
assume responsibility and brave criti- affection, I just haven't time to bother
cistn, not the woman who is fearful be- with men. I'm growing more and more
cause cf possible failure and wilts under in favor of Mormonism. It seems to me
adverse opinion. it would solve the woman problem.
5 The woman who thinks it her duty Women who have anything to do with
to have opinions and offer suggestions men have so little time left to them-
in the discuueion of ways and means,
not -the woman who is silent and non
committal, but afterward critically won
ders why wiser measures were not
adopted.
selves. If they would form a syndicate
and divide the labor of a single man,
they would have some time left to call
their own. Now, a Mormon never has
a plurality of wives at the same time, as
G. The woman who, when she makes a most Gentiles do, but wails for the un-
mistake, frankly acknowledges it, and, love that has had a beginning to have
undismayed, sets about remedying it, an end. Usually the end is not long in
knowing that she who never makes a coming. Then, it some legal respect
mistake seldom makes anything else. able fashion would allow a man to live
7. The woman who give earnest with his new fancy, wife number one
thought to the business in hand, not the would be free to go her way having
woman who enters the committee room fulfilled her mission in life and come
airily and late, and the moment the to the time which, like Nora, she might
meeting adjourns claims the attention wish to devote to herself."
of the ladies on some matter foreign to
the subject under discussion.
8. The woman who understands that
associated work will not succeed if con
ducted in just the way individual effort
is, and therefore pays due need to parli
amentary law and practice and has re-
"Are you ready, Miss Hall?" asked
the callboy.
"Yes," she said, hastily starting to her
feet. "Where is my fan, Josephine?"
-Everybody for the third act," yelled
the callboy.
She moved quickly toward the door in
gard to parliamentary courtesy iu her an absent fashion, but the maid stopped
intercourse with her associates. her with "You needn't hurry. You
9. The woman who is fcteadfaet and don't go on for ten minutes, and the
can be relied upon when difficulties only has that long scene yet."
arise, not the woman who gladly avails "Sure. I thought it was that horrible
herself of some excuse for being absent 'East Lynne' for the minute. Watch
when knotty problems must be solved, for my cue," and she turned to the light
10. The woman who is an inspiration and unfolded the note. "Do I Bee you
to the discouraged, not the woman who tonight?" she read. "We can have an
is timid and yields to the councils of the other of those corned beef hashes you
faithless. say your plebeian streak sometimes re
quiresor what you will. Don't refuse
me. I only live when 1 am with you,
my Cleopatra. At other times I just
exist. Answer. Yours."
"My Cleopatra! Wouldn't that turn
your hair silver! I wonder if he can
possibly be a married man? Cleopatra
is usually the married man's term of
endearment. But no if he were mar
ried 1 should certainly have heard it
Besides,
ON THIN ICE.
A LOVE COMEDY IN TWO SCENES.
Scene 1 Dressing Boom at a Theatre.
Time, 9:30 P. 31. ,
"Please deliver behind the scenes im
mediately," met her eyes as she care
lessly glanced at the large envelope in from one 0f my jjind fr:en(ia
her maid's hand. "I wonder if I ought he would not have taken me to tha eluh
to go. It will hardly pay," she muBed. to dine if he had been married. No such
"It almost seems useless to prolong it. inckas his beine married, for than T
Why doesn't be let me alone? I have
my work to do, and I cannot afford to
be wasting my time with every dramatic
critic who wishes to 'know me well'."
should have a good excuse for not see
ing him often. It takes too much
trouble to handle dramatic critics I
don't believe it is worth the trnnhln
"Any answer?" asked the boy, who Actors never have crit:cs pestering them
stood waiting at the door. as actresses always have. I wonder if
She glanced at him impatiently, and Oscar Wilde ever pestered the women
seemed about to break the seal-a use- who 8ppeared in his plays with his at
less operation, for she had guessed the tentions. Perhaps his ideas of life
contents. She laid it down unopened as might solve the woman problem."
something about the gown she wore at- "Any answer, miss?" asked the nies
tracted her attention. BBDRer boy, uneasily glancing at the
"Open it, Josephine." she said to the nttle clocK on the dressing table,
maid, as she fastened another hook. "Where is the pencil, Joeie?" "Yes."
"This dress is too tight, Josie. I do She wrote in big, firm letters on a slip
wish you would let it out before I wear of paper. .pt it in an envelope," she
it again. I can't move in it. I hate B8id to the maid, and she turned to Iib
tight dresses, but simply can't beat it ten to the dialogue on the stage to catch
into a dressmaker's head. All fashion- her cue.
able women wear tight dresses, as a rule,
and every dressmaker thinks an actress
must do the same thing. Now, be sure
you don't neglect this, for I mean to
wear tbis gown the third week from
now. The women will says 'Same old
gown," but it suits the part exactly, and
"Oh, there is plenty of time," she
breathed, and sank back again into the
easy chair with a pair of gloves in her
hand. The boy turned away with the
note.
"I really must get rid of tbis man
somehow without offending him. I like
I've been spending too much on my him very much he is a nice chap, but
wardrobe lately. Playing stock isn't
exactly like finding a gold mine."
"Yes, ma'am," answered the maid
when her mistrees had stopped talking.
The messenger boy moves uneasily
from one foot to the other.
She had fastened all the hooks by
this time, and took the folded slip of
paper the maid took from the envelope.
She sank wearily into the easy chair be
fore the mirror and began thinking
without glancing at the note. "Now, it
1 nave eight performances a week to
play, a new part to learn each week and
three rehearsals. Dramatic critic or no
dramatic critic, I have no time for a
love affair. I wouldn't mind talking
shop with him or to read nice books
and poems and look at pictures with
hinwbut I refuse to be his Cleopatra.
It is too tedious and wastes time I
might be enjoying. It is always time
to fight shy of a man when he gets to
the Cleopatra stage unless you are
stood before the mirror rubbing her
cheeks lightly with a hare's foot. "Am
I too red, Josephine?"
"Just about right, I think." The
maid took down a big white wrap,
picked up Miss Hall's train, and they
walked toward the wings.
Scene II In a Restaurant. Time, Mid
night. "Oh, come, now, you are too nice a
man to talk to me like this. I like to
read Kipling with you, from 'Mandalay'
to 'McAndrews.' I like to talk shop
with you, or eat corned beef hash with
you," she added with a smile, "but you
are entirely too interesting a man to
have a love affair with. You are capable
of bright talk, and any stupid man can
make love."
"Ice or marble which?" he said,
watching her intently.
She laughed. "Neither. But you are
a dramatic critic, with a penchant for
actresses, and I bate to loose a good
comrade. It is only good comradeship
that counts, after all. I am not 'Letitia
Dale.' Why, my dear man, I'm strong
minded. I want to vote, and think I
have as much right to do eo as any man.
There isn't enough white-muslin, blue-
"I thought so. Men have such a
habit of falling in love they don't a,
predate it. Will you do me the fin r
to read the seventh and thirteenth
chapters? They will express my senti
menta better than I can possibly expres
them the thirteenth chapter esperially
It is called 'The Firet Effort After Free
dorn'."
Hia big eyes blazed.
"Why, woman, love is one of the
grandest things in the world, and you
speak of it as thought it were an instru
ment of torture. Men have died for
love. Look at the groat poets and nov
elists who have gained inspiration from
love. Shelley, Byron, even Keats, suc
cumbed to love after talking just bb you
have. Look at George Sand and de
Musset and Chopin and Lord Nelson
and Parnell, who gave up his career for
love. Why, even such a man an Jim
Fiake died for love, and Alexander Ham
ilton, and Boulanger and the woman on
whose grave be committed suicide and
Gambetta, and Prince Rudolph, who
gave up hie throne and life for love
and oh! so many othere I cannot tbink
about on the spur of the moment! What
horrible ideas you have! Why love
ribbon sentiment in me to please a jack- rules the world!"
rabbit." Her face showed her disgust.
They looked at each other straight in "Do you call gross sensuality love?
the eyes for a moment, and then she Parnell became intimate with the wife
continued: "Maybe, some day, I shall of one of his followers no matter the
meet a man when I haven't my fingers circumstances he threw away the cause
crossed, and then it will be a case of of Ireland for his own nensuality, and
'tag, you're it.' But I am afraid I am a aime have said for a woman's monay.
trifle too sophisticated for love. I have Look at Washington City now. Men
been made love to by so many men I who object to women voting, who say
hate the very word itself. Like Hoyt's home is woman's sphere, get women to
German, it is always with you, and it lobby in their interests. Look at Lord
isn't pleasant. It would be such a nov- Coleridge, who got himself out of a
elty to meet a man who desired a com- pickle by marrying! Was that love?
rade instead of a Cleopatra. Why don't 8ir Charles Dilke, one of the brightest
men make love to their wives, instead of men in England today, was thrown out
to actresses? I wish I could meet o' parliament by the exposure of bis
Whitman's tonic man, but I fear he bestiality, and the court ordered him to
doesn't exist out of the book." pay Mr. Crawford, the wronged hus-
She gazed straight at him, thinking band in the case, $100,000. Not long
he would be squelched by this time; but ago he referred to the poor woman who
he bobbed up serenely with "Is it some had trusted him with her reputation
past affair that makes you so cold? This
gold cross you always wear so persist
ently" pointing at the chain on her
neck "the stories I have heard of it
Doss it stand in the way?"
"Now that sounds dreadfully 'East
Lynne,' and you know that is my night
mare. 'Isabella, is it thus you bear your
cross in life?' No, I have no bruised
and bleeding heart. My eccentricities
are sane when you come to think of
them."
"But I want you to give up your
eccentricities and love me."
"What a commonplace remark! If I
were borne school girl studying for the
stage I might be tickled to death. But
it has been a long time since I have
played with a rattle, and the question
occurs to me What have you ever done
to make me love you except constantly
to call me Cleopatra and persist in talk
ing about things I dislike? Do you
suppose a real woman can be bought
with a few flowers, a few books, a few
and honor as "an incident. Prime Min
isters, like Palmerston and Melbourne,
have had to stand coarse allusions to
their mixed lives. Was that love? Look
at the affection of Dumas fila for Adah
Isaacs Menken. Was that love? If so,
what about the same unaffnetion which
Algernon Charles Swinburne had for the
same woman at the same time, even
going so far as having biB picture taken
with her? Henry Gilsey entertained a
similar regard for the same woman. She
kept up her stage reputation by her love
affairs. She won Charles Dickens by
her clever talk. Lucien and Jerome
Bonaparte and their suites applauded
her. Both Dumas pere and Dumae file
followed her around. Napoleon III.
complimented her with his presence,
and Eugenie's jealousy was a matter of
public comment. Was that love? If
so, for what one of the bunch? Leon
Gambetta, one of the greatest French
statesmen of the nineteenth century,
one of the most influential founders of
corned bee! suppers, when she is inde- the third republic, died from the effects
pendent and self-supporting and able to of a gunshot wound received at the
supply these little wants herself ? Why, hands of a woman whom he had de
I make a good salary probably more ceived. On which side was the love,
than you do and I don't try to buy you and of what value was it? Alexander
with favors. I'm not exactly an iceberg, Hamilton loved Mme. Jumel, and for
and I love an affectionate friend; but this love he was shot down in the prime
I'm getting so experienced that, like of his life, and Dolly Madison's husband
Clara Middleton in 'The Egotist,' I duck had one less powerful enemy because
whenever I see the wave of a caress Hamilton TAfnc ch. h;a na vhh
heave in Bight. I want to be clever to
you, for I like you sometimes," she
added with a smile.
Again they watched each other, and
he started to epeak.
"No, don't speak. I am sure you are
going to say something still more com
monplace and add you never knew
what love wbb before. Have vou avaf
another married man. The career of
Charles Sumner was cut short by a
boarding-house adventuress, yet ho
loved her. Was it love that led George
IV. to be so friendly with Mrs. Robin
son, Mrs. Fitzherbert, Mrs. Bristow,
Miss Archer and Louisa Howard and
others? Was it love made the Queen of
Italy box Victor Emmanuel's ears when
I go to supper tonight I shall never looking for experience, which I am not."
know my lines next week, and there are She finished putting nn her gloves and too much for me,1
read George Meredith's The Egotist'?" ehe found him talking to a plump maid
.i..,uH,um jne preface WaB servant? Am) vhut h.. pini1 npnnle
many Italians look like King
preface was servant?
to say so
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