THE COURIER.
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Wearing on the Alphabet.
Tho prosecuting attorney in a lawsuit
had waxed especially indignant at the
defendant, whom he characterized as an
"abandoned, baneful, cynical, diabolic,
execrable, felonious, greedy, hateful, ir
responsible, jaundiced, knavish, lazy,
meddlesome, noxious, outrageous and
profligate rowdy.
"The learned counsel on tho other
eide," said the attorney for the defend
ant, when he rose to reply, "should havo
put his adjectives in a hat and shaken
them up a little before using. You must
have noticed, gentlemen of the jury,
that they were in regular alphabetical
order. This shows that he selected
them from a dictionary, beginning with
"a." He stopped at "p," but in his man
uerof reproducing them he has given
us the 'cue' rb to how he got them."
This turned the laugh against tho
other lawyer, and he lost the case.
London Tid Bits.
Sharon, Mass.,
Aug. 7th, 1901.
Miss Sarah B. Harris,
Editor Hie Courier:
In the last issue, August 3rd, of your
paper, you repeat the absurd allegation
that
"Agnostics, atheists, and all grades
of disbelievers in one god pray to him
instinctively, whan they are on board a
einking ship, when they are in extreme
agony, when the surgeon's knife is
severing nerves and muscles, or in the
; v Ust breath of consciousness before the
y anaestnetic nas auiieu sense.
This ib on a par with the egregious
lie and general belief that Thos. Paine
was an atheist and disbeliever in im
mortality and recanted when he died.
On the contrary Paine was and died a
believer in immortality and bad nought
to recant He denied theological creeds
far more than Christianity.
I ask you how many actual, intelli
gent atheists (not agnostic straddlers)
you know? Do you know one? By
that I mean persons who positively
know there is no God, no soul, no im
mortality, no cause, no purpose in na
ture, who are not even nature-worshipers,
who hate, detest, despise the very
name of God and idea of immortality as
groesly immoral untruths, and look on
Christianity as anarchistic, anti-natural,
and aB the most damnable fraud human
ignorance has yet fettered itself with.
J&nv I am just that and all that. I
vlkcow but three more real atheists.
1 have been in all the conditions you
Bpeak of and never once looked for or
sought the interference of a higher
power. I simply knew there was a
chance of life, so long as my strength
lasted. For instance, 1 have been ship
wrecked and had to go for days with
out food and water and never once
prayed or looked for anything but a
sail bound our way according to the
natural course of
came no God sent it,
the waves and the
brought it that way
no more thought of help from above
than I have of help from you.
I am a believer in nothing save the
living for self intelligently, but he who
does that will do all for every one that
should be done. I am free from al
truistic insanity, love of man and all
Buch nonsense thanks to Nebraska,
and when I and my child are dead, I
do not care in the least when the end
of the world Bhall come, or how it
comes. I would not pull a hair to save
the world or a human being, save those
I love, (they are few) unless the
world first paid for my services to my
satisfaction.
Now that is the true principle of
ethics, yet I do not believe even your
supreme intelligence can grasp it. Peo
ple with brains enough to bo intelli
gent atheists are the rarest thing in
nature.
Respectfully yours,
F. S. Billings.
events. When it
The winds and
desire foi money
That was ail. I
hae been through jungle fever, yellow
lever and Asiatic cholera and looked to
nothing but innate toughness to save
ne. I have been cut open by surgeons
and Trusted to their skill and my own
Bjn? torus to live.
I -tin now going the way of Bright'e
disuse and know I Bhall die, but have
Nebraska State Fair, J90J.
For thirty-two years past, good crops
or poor crops, the Nebraska State Board
of Agriculture, true to its duty, has
annually presented to the public, at its
Fairs, the products, resources and pos
sibilities of this wonderful young State,
the tlower of the New West, a region of
country known until a few years ago
comparatively, as a barren waste.
These products have been found, on
actual examination, without superiors
anywhere, both as to quality and yields.
This year corn and vegetables, have
been badly scorched, in sumo parts of
the State, it is true. And yet, in many
other parts, they are good. Small grain
never was better.
The Fair Management is going right
along with the Fair as usual, this year,
September 2nd to 6th; have greatly
improved the Old Fair Grounds, adjoin
ing Lincoln, lately purchased by the
State. A new woven wire fence has
been placed around the whole ground?;
all the old buildings have been repaired,
painted and put in the best condition.
Nineteen new, large and commodious
barns for livestock have been construct
ed. Water from city water works in
all parts of the grounds. Rail roads,
both passenger and freight, run into the
grounds. Reduced rail road passenger
rates from all stations in the state.
The secretary announces that the out
look for exhibits were never better.
Let the people all attend this great
fair, and with their families spend a
few dayB recreation profitably and
pleasantly.
SORROW.
An angel of God
to two women came,
Saying : "What will yc ask
in the father's name
When at last ye enter
the gates of heaven?
For whatever ye ask
ye shall be given."
White with shedding of tears.
one raised her face,
Stiff set in the furrows
which sorrows trace,
And she said: "On earth
I have had to quaff
The cup of grief
in heaven let me laugh."
In pity he turned
to the other then
To a woman with eyes
that held no pain
Whose sunny face
was a message of cheer
To lives which had else
been sadly drear,
With lips ever ready
for laagh or jest
Denying the anguish
which no one guessed ;
She answered the angel :
"When I die
God grant me in heaven
a place to cry."
-M. T. Malthy,
in the New England Magazine.
Tots at Play.
Wordsworth's lines of a child at play,
"as if his whole vocation were endless
imitation," were recently recalled by a
conversation overheard in a children's
ward in a provincial hospital.
A little girl, whose role was that of
nurse, rang an imaginary telephone on
the wall to talk to her companion at the
farther end of the room, who played the
part of doctor.
"Hello!" said the nurse, "Is that the
doctor?"
"Yes," answered her companion in a
deep voice; "this is the doctor."
"This lady1 is very ill," he was in
formed. "Well, what seems to bo the matter?'1
"She has swallowed a whole bottle of
ink," said the nurse.
The doctor, not Hurried, inquired
what had been done for the patient;
but the nurse, too, was ready in emer
gencies. She answered: "I gave her two pads
of blotting paper!" London Tit Bits.
She I tell you the really nice girls
are gems.
He Yes, and like other gem?, the
most of them are under ground.
The speech in the Houso of Lords of
the Bishop of Hereford on the subject
of gambling recalls a story told of Bishop
Potter, who, traveling through Louisiana
some years ago, addressed inquiries to
his fellow-passengers with a view to ob
taining information regarding the orch
ards and fruit interests of the state. "Do
you raise pears in Louisiana?" inquired
the bishop. "We do," replied the Lou
isianan, who was a better authority on
poker than on horticulture, "if we have
threes or better." The Mirror.
Dogs and Trolley Cars.
A Chicago press dispatch says: Three
grave jurists in the appellate court havo
Bolved the problem of tho proper rela
tion between dogs pnd trolley cars. Tho
result of three years' litigation has been
the handing down of a decision that the
well-conducted dog has as much right in
the Btreets as a well-conducted human
being; that he has almost as much right
as a trolley car, and that if the motor,
man does not ring his bell before run
ning over him and breaking his back,
the motorman's master must pay dam
ages. It was the Great Dane dog owned
by John Klecka, and killed by a West
Side car, that brought on the legal
fight. His death now nets the owner
$75, and nets the others of the city the
protection of the courts. The dog was
not a trespasser, and the motorman
should have tried to save his life, Bays
the decision. The Dog Fancier.
The average daily attendance at the
Pan-American exposition from May 1
to July 1 was 28,010. The average daily
attendance at former fairs for the full
terms of their duration were as follows:
Chicago World's Columbian ex
position, G mos 153,113
California Midwinter Fair 13.928
Atlanta Cotton States expo 13,030
Omaha Trans-Mississippi expo... 17,082
Philadelphia International Ex
port expo 19,233
The comparison is highly encourag
ing to the Pan-American exposition.
The first two months of fairs are usually
the poorest in point of attendance, owing
principally to the almost general belief
that tho exposition is not completed
until July. The Pan-American has
passed this point, and the attendance is
growing daily. By the first of August
the increase in the average daily at
tendance will show a very large increase,
with the best months still to come. The
Pan American is now complete and to
see the exterior of the buildings is alone
worth a long trip. The illumination
with 500,000 lamps is also a wonderful
eight. Admission to all buildings and
games in the Stadium is free.
DD1J!0JJAL GGOWODAJIOJJS.
On account of the very low rates made
to Colorado points
THE UNION PACIFIC
has placed ia service another through
Pullman Sleeper on train No. 3, for Den
ver, leaving Omaha at 4:25 P. M. daily
and continuing until September 10th.
This service affords passengers the
very best accommodations with the
greatest possible comfort.
Reservations should be made as far in
advance as possible.
E. B. SLOSSON, Agent,
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