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About The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 29, 1900)
l!'f THE COURIER. v ,E hi t I'l CONJOOGAL FELIOTEE. Tumi) i-rikk. Glory Goodman jest brought me one ov thorn wimniin'e rights magazines. They call it the "Western Club Wim min." Glory wanted me tu try fur a prize they are ofTerin' for ten rcols on how tu manage yure husbands. Jona than says "fhet'e the way; jest as quick as yu wimmin git equal rights, yu want to manage sumpthin, an naturally yure poor husbands hav tu Buffer fust, cept me, ov koarse." Thet'e the fun ny part ov it, for i du manage Jonathan without his knowin'ov it. He goes long thrue life, a thtnkin' his Jerusha iz a doin' things the way he wants 'em dun. The ten rools i try to foller with with Jonathan are: FIIWT. Yu must luv yure husband. Yu hev tu luv a man a grate deal tu manage him. Men are unly crown up boy6, an' there's nuthin on erth so contrairy ez a boy. Now i never could git along by bickering; there's a verse in the Bible about bein' az wizn az eirpents, an harmless az duvs. i ruther think thet wuz a little knowledge Eve got in the Gardin, eo while you kv jure husband, be wize! be harmless az a duv. When i want Jonathan tu du ennything my way reel bad, i jest ask him tu du the con trairy. Jfaturally duz it my way. SrlCONI). Trust yure husband! thet is the grate st rool next tu luv. i du trust Jonathan; i know when he iz doin enny thing, he iz jest doin' the best he knows how fur his good an mine, i haint goin' tu trust him the way Almira Brown trusts her Peter. She waits till he goes out sumwhare ov an evenin' an' she an' little Peter jump on their wheals an' foller him all over the city. Once Almira saw him goin' in a saloon, an she left him an' went hum tu her muth er fur a week. She found out after wards Peter went inter the saloon tu colleckt a bill frum the saloon keeper. THIKD. Yu must honor yure hasband! Never tell his falts! Grandma Gibbons uster tell her husband's failiu's, an' then the deer old lady'e conshunce would hurt her bo thet she kammed it by sayin', "Josiar iz sejh a good man thet i know his seat in Heaven will be higher than mine. FOCKTH. Yu must be considerit! remember thet "God made Man in Bis immig,'' but not in His goodness. "The spirrit iz willin', but the lleeh iz week." Sumtimes a man's flesh is awful week after the munth's expenses are found tu be bigger than the munth'e incum. FIFTH. Doant nag! i wuz down to Micty Bud long's wun da an i jest felt sorry for Hi Badlong. (Minty never had enny sence when she wuz a gal.) She tole Hi ef he couldn't mend the fence better than he did, she would go down herself. Hi spoke up reel kind an said, "i can go an fir it agin, Minty." Minty sez, "No, yu kan't waste enny more time, you orter go an milk this minnit." Hi started, and Minty Eed. "Doant milk yet; yu haint dug me enny pertaters in a week!" i cum hum i wuz so disgustid. SIXTH. Help carry the burdins. Doant say az Jem Strong's wife uster sa tu him, "Marcyon us, Jem, doan't bring bum yure trubbles." Lucy Strong askt for a divoarce when Jem tuk hiz trubbles tu the saloon. Seams tu me its ongrategul tu give a man smiles and kisses fer bo kays and jewelree and sich like, an giv cross looks and ugly wurde when he kan't giv yu enny more bokays. SJiVLMB. Be contented Yure husband may opt be a millyunaire. He may not be Ap poly or a Saint. Ef he giva yu ev'ry cumfert he can afford, kan you ask enny more? Doant be alwus sayin' tu him 88 Lavina Jenkins uste tu sa tu her husband about their vittles, hum and close, "Why, ov koarse, Hennery, it will do till yu kan giv us better." Yu kant in theze daze, hev a god fer a husband. Enny how i never thot i would hev liked Joopiter er Neptoon, er enny ov them changeable beta's fer a husband, i al wus know whare to (ind Jonathan. Think of him a chaDgin' inter a fish er a wave ov the sea. EICUTII. Be cheerful! No matter what yure troubles are, doant let 'em blot out all the happiness ov yure life. Ef yure hus band came hum at night glad tu leave all hiz worries with tomorry, thet bles sid store room fer all unfinished bizness du the same. My old Mammy in Miz zoury uster sa when i askt her why she laded so much, "Why. chile, i cawnt holp it, ize full of it." Be full ov cheer fulness. NINTH. Be a companion. God gave Eve tu Adam bekaus it wuz not good fer Adam tu be alone. Doant belong tu so menny klubs an societies that yu er never hum when yure husband is. Remember tew kan play et thet game. Hezikiah Cras by use tu ea he never see hiz wife unly when she wanted a new bonnet er a new alpacker gown. Mariar Crasby wuz a grate gadder! TENTH. Be a hum-maker! Yur hum orter be jest the dearest place in all the wurld. Let its light be the brightest, its fire the warmest, its table spread with the best vittles. The way tu a man's heart may not be thru hiz stummick, but i alwus keep thet roadway in good repair. The spiritool side ov us is very much con- troaled by the boddy. A man kan't be spiritooly minded ef hiz vittles set hevy on his stummick. Conjoogal Fe Iicitee is reel eezy ef yu jest remember one thing: Luv is the foundation stun upon which you kan build what yu will A hovel ov misery er a pallace ov buty. Carrie C. Kunkley, in Western Club Woman. WHERE LOVE IS LORD . I take the glory from the sky ; I take the terror from the sea ; I take the charm of life away For those who walk with me I blot the printing in the book Before their eyes one word shall flame And in their ears the lips of men Shall seem to form one name. Yet will they follow me, although Earth shakes beneath, heav'a flames above ! Careless of life or death they walk Who are the slaves of Love . Margaret Gilman George, in October New Lippincott. A Painter of the Indian ChaWes H. Stephens, whose painting decorates the cover of the October Ladies' Home Journal, is a close artist student of the Indian and Indian life, and is regarded as a very high authority oj all that peitains to the picturesque side of the Red Man. He was formerly an instructor in the Philadelphia Art School, where bis most apt pupil in illustrations was Miss Alice Barber, who subsequently became his wife, and whose drawings, signed Alice Barber Stephens, are the admiration of ail lovers of black and white art. e00t00MH00PPM00e000OO000t)0 0l0MMI00H00M0O00i0 000OOO0OOOe I CTDCCT CAID AMH 5 N OlICCl TMir MINU CARNIVAL SPECIALS Will predominate at our establishment this week. We are selling" dozens of FUR GObbARgTTES x These days; we have the stock and variety, and have made prices that prove irresistible to would-be purchasers. You never have to look further after seeing- our line. Here is one of our numerous Bargains. This elegant Electric Seal Fur Collarette, Stole effect, with tabs, 6 beautiful fox tails, yoke of Astrakhan, is hand somely satin lined; the real value is $7.50 ATX tf M-IHMSIevtlf mm! v . 32 - IVAL IE fl S4.75 Electric Seal Fur Scarfs, with 6 large tails, worth $3.00, 1 We invite you to com pare our goods, the quality and the prices. The proof of the quality is the thereof. wear CARNIVAL WEEK PRICE, $118 The Rock Island playing cards are the slickest you ever handled. One pack will be sent by mail on receipt of 15 cents in stamps. A money order or draft for 50 cents or same in stamps will secure 4 packs. They will be sent by express, charges prepaid. Address, John Sebastian, G. P. A., Chicago, Rock Island & Pacific R'y, Chicago. The COURIER And any One Dollar Woman's Club Magazine inc( 1.50 PATENT Good Ideas may be.sccnred by oar aid. Address, THE PATENT RECORD, Baltimore. Md. Subscriptions to Tte Patent Record u per annum. mw uvjUMl We don't always get all we deeorve, but we always deserve all we get.- PRESIDENT JOHN MITCHELL. Wliil the affairs of the United Mine Workers of America are managed by an execu tive board tlie most influential man in the organization and the one upon whom all eyes are turned at this timels John Mitchell, the president. He is a young- man, jnst turned thirty, and his advance to the high position he now holds has been unusually rapid. Mitchell is a resident of Illinois and was born in firaidwood, that state. - 'T
