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About The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 3, 1900)
f'Hfc COURIEP. r ) m c SCRIBNER'S For 1900 includes: J. M. Barrie's "Tommy and Griael" (serial). Theodore Roosevelt's "Oliver Crom well" (serial). Richard Harding Davb' fiction and special articles. Henry Norman's The Russia of Today. Article i by Walter A. Wjckoff, authors of "Tho Workers." Short Stories by Thomas Nelson Page, Henry James, Henry van Djke, Ernest Stetson-Thompson, Edith Wharton, Octave Thanet. William Alleu White. True Greatness. Special Articles: The Paris Exposition. Frederic I Hand's articles on epottp and explorations. "Harvard Fifty Years Ago," by Senator Hoar. Notable Art Features, the Crom well illustrations, by celebrated Am erican and foreign artists. Puvis Do Chavaones, by John La Farge (illustrations in colors). Special illustrative schemes (in colors and in black and white) by Walter Appleton Clark, E. C.Peix otto, Henry McCarter, Dwight L. Elmendorf and others. "Illustrated prospectus sent free to any address. Charles Scribner's Sons, Publishers, New York. IIHI1IW. Personally Conducted Tourist Excursions TO IF0RNIA Scenic Route leaves Kansas City and Omaha every Friday via Colorado Springs and Salt ( Lako to California and Pacific coast points. These Tourist Cars of latest pattern are carried on Fast Passenger Trains, and their popularity is evidence that we offer the P best. Tho lowest rate tickets ro available in these popular Pullman Tourist Gars. For full description of this service and the benefits given its patrons, p.ddress E. W. THOMPSON, A. G. P Topeka, Kan. JOHN SEBASTIAN. G. P. A Chicago, 111. TIME IS MONEY. When you are traveling, due con sideration snould be given to the amount of time spent in making your journey. The Union Pacific ib the best line and makes the fastest time by many hours to Salt Lake City, Portland and Cali fornia points. For time tables, folders, illustrated books, pamphlets descriptive of the ter ritory traversed, call at City Office, 1044 O Bt. E. B. Slosson Gen. Agent It is so much the thing now for great men, or notorious men (which is about the same thing) to have trivial stories told of their trivial early lives that I've a. mind for a taste of greatness myself. I have always wished to bo great, but I never knew how to etart, I have tried many different schemes which it seem ed to me other great men had suc cessfully worked. Onco I thought I bad surely found the trail. I would be obscure, meaningleee, and occasionally miss-epell a word, or be decidedly pro fane.I tried it. and sure enough, it went splendidly. For three weeks I lived a joyous, rarified life, and bought three new bpts, each one larger than the last. I saw my articles mentioned in other papers. I heard people wondering to each other what the title of the stuff meant. I beard several newsboys using my original profanity. I even got four dollars for writing them, and (O, joy!) the articles were reviewed at the clubs! "Ah," thought I, "life is worth living after all." I have no doubt that after such a brilliant start, all would have gone well, had I been satisfisd. That is the secret of all unhappincss. I was not satisfied. I concluded I would not sign a fictitious name, but would astonish the neighbors by telling them it w&b I who bad written all taose '.Studies in Ether," and that I was "The Severed Soul" who was responsi ble for the literary gems people were talking about. I wanted them to know why I strutted and by what good right. Well hath the prophet said that a strut goeth before a stumble, and a swelled bead before a long call-down. No soon er did my acquaintances and admirers and neighbors discover that the author of "Studies in Ether" lived in their midst, and never even got drunk, to eay nothing of going into trances and visit ing the moon and the planets and the Hot Place no sooner did I write one of those things that I did not know the meaning of myself, and put my illus trious family name to it, than everyone, with one accord and in one place, said the articles were utterly stupid, and that they had always known I would not turn out well. However, I had the comfort of knowing that the scheme worked well for awhile; and sometime when I am in a strange place and get hard up I shall work it again. Then I have iried being dissatisfied with everything and everybody, and Baying that the wealthy were wretches and did not know a good thing when they saw it, (in a moral sense,) and that only the poor and incapable were good, and none were the salt of the earth but those who were hard-up and without a recommendation from their last employ er. The trouble with that scheme was, that it would work only with those who could do me no goad. One Denver paper promised to give me three col umns of space every day, but couldn't pay me for it. Inmates of the peni tentiary were unammious in saying that it was great stuff, and they had always thought that way. But times were pretty good, and I had so many chances to get work that I gave it up. But it is a great scheme if you work it at the right time. Then I have tried the long hair dodge and the absent minded racket, and the advertising plan. I must say that the advertining pays. I never knew it to fail. It is a money maker, and if it is rightly managed, it will always make good what is advertised. You may pose aa a hair restorer or a Divine Healer, but it you advertise the thing rightly, you will make a stake. I gave that up for the reason that I want to be great. Simply to makt money is not enough for me. I have a new scheme now, and if it works at all, I shall at least know how it feels to be great. "In a series of anecdotes, gathered from reliable sour ces exclusively for myself, and at great expenditure of time and money, (es pecially time ) I shall give glimpses to the public of a eide of my lite that has hitherto been entirely unknown, save to a few of my moat intimate friends and relatives, add which will reveal, as nothing else can reveal, the true great ness of this man," etc. I approach this task in a most unselfish spirit It will save my biographetB so much trouble, and the stories will be authentic, too. Of course I may lie a little once in a while, for the sake of euphony and his toric license, but all agree that that is admissible in great men. I have an nounced my purpose. Now for a be ginning. First, what shall I be? I must be something. Why not be a poet ? There is a difficulty about that. About the first thing expected is the poet's first poem, showing marvellous poetic con cep'ion. Mine, as I remember it, was something like this: "How many of our citizens are drifting away Through the broad gates of destruction everyday? All caused by this monstrous drink, Which will cause them sooner or later to sink. If they could see themselves staggering along the street Here in the town of Dayton, So drunk they can hardly creep, I think they would turn from Satan, And live better men.' There are other things that present fewer difficulties than the greatness of the poet. Let's see. Famous explorer. They are quite the thing now. I sup pose Andrse would be all the rage if he would come back. But that's it. I would have to come back from some where. I beliove, too, that famous ex plorers usually run away from beautiful luxurious homes and wealthy, indulgent parents, steam yachts, Angora Billy goats, French nurses, and so on. That won't do for me. My father was a poor chump of a man who thought he should always do his duty, no matter where it led him, and he didn't believe much in French nurses and steam yachts. Then what else is there ? Novelist, preacher actor, inventor, successful politician (United States president!), scientist modern journalist, naval or military hero, murderer, safe-cracker Ah, now I have it. Just the thing! I'll be a military hero! It does not require strong mental traits, and precocity is entirely unnecessary. All that is need ed is a fight. Either one side or the other is sure to be whipped, and the one who does the whipping is the one whose name shall be written on his tory's honored page, alongside that of the Father of-his-country. I'll be a military hero. The incidents of my birth and rearing will cut absolutely no figure. My Puritan blood is of uo ad vantage. On the contrary, a little pirate and smuggler's blood would be no disadvantage; quite otherwise, I think. But neither one is a necessity. The most commonplace people in the world have become great military heroes. In my youth I need have no "big, honest, searching brown eyes, that seem to be ever soft with wonder, ever troubled over the world's sorrow, ever ready to flash at an ignoble deed or disgraceful act." Neither will "features of beauty for one so young" be necessary. "In my youth," I will not need to fce "a sturdy, young athlete, whose feats of strength and physical powers were known through all the settlement." Stonewall Grant, or some great general, used to be taken to the field of battle in his bed. (My private opinion about that has always been that he was too lazy to get up. If I had been on his staff he wouldn't have worked me that way.) No, nor I would not havo to bo able- "to seat a mottlesomo charger witn admirablo graco nod solf-control.' Think how fat and unwieldy Shaftor was! Happy thought when I chose "military hero." I havo chosen bo well that I almost beliove I shall mako a successful politician. But I will not stop to change now, I have choson. Now for the first anecdote. An incidont occuring very early in tho lite of Jigadier Brindle Sruoko is indic ative of his marked ability to retain the utmost composure under trying cir cumstances. When ho was less than n year old, his mother was about to start from their country home to tho city. The weather was very cold, so before Beating herself in the carriage, sho wrapped little Smoke very carefully in heavy, warm coverings, sufficient to ex clude every harsh blast of tho atorrny wind from tho pti Jo of her heaifc (and likewise to keep him from getting croup and keeping her awake nights.) Tho ciild was handed to her after she had taken her seat in the old family convey ance, (which was used on other occa sions for hauling corn) and sho took him and held him carefully against her bosom. The babe scarcely stirred dur ing tho long ride, and the mother's heart beat with pride whenever sho thought about it. (Ho couldn't havo stirred if he had wanted to.) Finally the city was reached and the fond mo ther left the carriage, and with her babe at her bosom, entered the inn. "My blessed baby boy," she murmured, as she began removing the blankets from around him and piled them up on the kitchen bench, "let me kies him." And she stooped to touch him with her lips as she opened the blanket. But she started back suddenly, for a pair of fat, red feet were disclosed, instead of the expected freckled face. Little Smoke's mother reversed him at once, to find him peacefully sucking his thumb and gently snoring. She had carried him bottom side up clear from the farm, and he didn't know the dif ference. Such was his power of making the best of things when he was a baby. The Jig Always Slept Soundly. The Jigadier's ability to sleep soundly in time of great danger has alwats been noticeable even from early childhood. His parents were making a journey over the prairie at a time when the hero had not yet reached his second year. The team that was taking them to their destination a dance, I think, or a camp meeting became fractious, and finally ran away. The future fighter of battles was asleep in his mother's arms. The team, after running for some dis tance, turned suddenly, upsetting tho vehicle and throwing the party out. very roughly. The shock threw the baby from his mother's arms, and he was rudely rolled along the prairie for a dis tance of fifteen yards. As soon as con venient his mother picked him up, and unrolled his coverings to discover the nature of bis injuries. He was strange ly quiet, and the mother's heart as well as her back and ribs ached. But a single glance at the babe reassured her. He was sound asleep, and had not even removed his thumb from his mouth. Such composure at so early an age was, indeed, remarkable, and spoke volumes for his futuro career. R. B. Morgan. Leave Chicago every Thursday via Colotado and Scenic Route to San Francisco and Los Angeles. Southern Route leaves Chicago every Tuesday via Kansas City, Ft. Worth and El Paso to Los Angeles. These Excursions Cars are attached to Fast Passenger trains and their popu larity is evidence that we offer the best Accompany these excursion and save money for the lowest rate tickets are available in these popular Pullman Tourist cars.