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THE 60U.RBR
V
MISCONSTRUED.
A lady down in Texas,
Who lived awhile in France,
And always used its language
Whene're she had a chance,
Once hired a son of Erin
To purchase the supplies.
She, doing so, made a remark
That bulged out both his eyes.
Said, "Denis, you'll buy everything
That's needed on the ranch,
And, so you may not bother me,
I'll give to you carte bhinchcV
Now to hlmselh "The likes of this!
She means a girl, of course,
And if she does, in faith she's got
The cart before the horse."
And then aloud, "I thank you ma'am
I can do the job alone,
And I don't need Blanche Cart,
I've a sweetheart of my own."
Town Topics.
ANNUAL ENCAMPMENT G. A. R.
PHILADELPHIA. LOW KATES,
VARIABLE ROUTES, STOP
OVERS.
Here is a popular excursion for you by
tho North-Western lino, nearly every
thing ono can want is granted.
Faro for round trip same route going
and returning,continuous passage $32 85,
going and returning eamo route with
one Btop over in each direction east of
Buffalo, Niagara Falls, or Pittsburg
934.05; going one way and returning an
other with one stop over as above $3605.
Tickets will be sold September 1, 2. and
3. Extreme limit September 30. For
other information please call at city
ticket office, 117 S. 10th Str. Lincoln,
Nebr. 30 Gt
MA.
PILGRIMAGE OF CRYPHC
SONS OF COLORADO.
DENVER, COLO., AUGUST 0-13, 1899.
... For the above occasion tho Union
Pacific haB made tho greatly reduced
rate of one fare, plus 82, for the round
trip to Denver, Colorado Springs and
Pueblo, from points in Kansas and Ne
braska. Do not completo arrangements for
your trip without first asking your agent
about tho magnificent train service and
fast time to Colorado via the Union
Pacific.
For tickets, Bleeping-car reservations
and full information call on
28-3 t. E. B. Slosson, Agent.
Figgs It's lucky for you I'm not in
your shoes.
Faggs Why?
Figgs Because then you'd be tare-footed.
The Nebraska Sanitarium.
T
Located at College View, Nebr., offers the following" inducements to the
tired and suffering public who are seeking" Health, Rest and Comfort:
Scientifically classified dietary.
Laboratory of hygiene for'bactoriologi
HE institution is situated on an ele
vated sito, overlooking tho city of
Lincoln, which lies throe miles to
tho northwest, and with which it
is connected by an electric street rail
way. One of tho most healthy locations bo
tweon tho Mississippi River and tho
Rocky Mountains.
A well regulated institution for the
treatment of all chronic diseases.
Water of unusual purity.
Baths of every deBciiption, including
he Electric-light bath.
Skillful attention given to tho treat
mont of '
cal and microscopical investigation.
Stomach fluids analyzed for dyspep
tics, Aseptic operating rooms and surgical
wards. A
Four physicians, well-trained, with
large experience in sanitarium medical
work.
Diseases of tho Stomach and DiKuative
System.
Diseases of tho Eye, Ear, Nose, Throat,
and Lun?B.
Diseases peculiar to women.
Best of advantages for the treatment
of all forms of chronic diseases. Incur
ablo and offensive patients not received
Trained nurses of both sexes.
For circulars giving rates and further information, address,
NEBRASKA SANITARIUM,
College View, Nebraska.
TWO CHEAP RATE AUGUST EX-
CURSIONS TO HOT SPRINGS
AND RETURN.
August is tho hardest month of the
year to endure. Why not spend it in
Hot Springe, S. D , where medical wat
ers, picturesque scenery, interesting sur
roundings and coul nights for sleepiug
will put renewed vigor into tho veins of
every one who may go there?
To enable you, gentle reader, to go at
small cost, the Elkhorn line will run ex
cursions Tuesday, August 8, at 815.50
and Tuesday, August 22, at $17.50 for
the round trip. Limit 30 days.
A Hot Springs Bleeper is run from
Norfolk, in which space will be reserved
on application.
Go up over the Elkhorn, through the
magniticent Elkhorn valley, and see the
finest agricultural picture in tho west.
Get descriptive matter, tickets, etc,(
from
A. S. Fielding, C. T. A., North-western
Line. 117 So. 10 Str. .10 4
Tho Rock Island playing cards are
the slickest you ever handled. One
pack will be sent by mail on receipt of
15 cents in stamps. A money order or
draft for 50 cents or same in stamps will
secure 4 packs. They will be sent by
express, charges prepaid. Address,
John Sebastian, G. P. A
Chicago, Rock Island & Pacific R'y,
Chicgao.
$12.20 $32.50
The above greatly reduced rate has
been made by the Union Pacific to Cal i
fornia points. Through Tourist Sleep
ers, quicker than any other line.
For tickets and full information call
E. B. Slosson,
General Agent-
on
r
:ia:ivu:faoi'uri$
. . . the wnsw ryiJVOOJWV
S'TEJCy RANGE . . .
Warranted to.be the Best and Most Satisfactory
Range ever made. Any kind of fuel may be used,
that one item alone being" economy.
These Ranges would be a comfort in any home.
For what they ape They are the cheapest
you can buy. At least give one a trial.
We warrant you complete satisfaction. Write us
for full particulars.
VSSQ O St XylJVCOIylV, iVolD,
UNSCRUPULOUS THIEVES.
Steal Gold, Silver ttiul Jutvels J'ruiu m
Hucrctl Altur.
A most audacious theft has just been
committed at the cathedral of Peru
gia. The guard was going his rounds
about 4 o'clock in the morning, when
he perceived a door opening Into ..i0
cloisters was open. He at once in
formed the authorities, who found that
several objects of great value were
missing, says the Boston Herald. The
glass over an image of the virgin had
been broken and the diamond coronet
stolen. This was n present from tho
ladies of Perugia forty-three years ugo.
The thieves also took away all the
"vows," those articles given to the
Madonna or some saint by the faith
ful, for some favor received, often legs,
arms, hearts, eyes, this meaning that
the giver had recovered the use of the
same by the saint's intercession. They
had all been removed, as, being of
precious metal, they were of consider
able value. From another virgin they
took a silver crown, and in order to
get a ruby ring had broken a finger.
It 1b hoped these "thieves" wi'.Wiot put
these valuables to any base use, but
will sell them for the needful money
with which to buy bread for the starv
ing people of Italy. The "removal"
of these valuables has caused & great
hubbub in Perugia, where every effort
is now being made to recover thorn,
but the result is doubtful.
THQ
COURIER ii i
r
w
YORK
win
Thrice-a-week Edition,
i
Practically a Daily at the price of a
Weekly.
Subscribe for The Counivn f ) a, year
Tho Bulking and important events
oj the laBt year have established the
overwhelming value of The Thrioka
Week Wobld to every reader. For an
almost nominal Bum it haB kept its sub
senbers informed of the progress of all
our waas and, moreover, has reported
them us promptly and fully as if it were
a aaily. With our interests still extend
ing throughout the world, with our
troops operating in the Philippines, and
the great Prepidential campaign, too, at
hand, its value is further increased.
The motto of The Theioe-a Week
World Ib improvement. It strives each
year to be better than it was the year
before, and public confidence in it is
shown by the fact that it now circulates
more man twice as many papers everyw
week as any other newspaper, not ay
daily, published in America.
We offer this unequaled newspaper
and the Courier together one year for
81.25.
The regular subscription prico of the
two papers is $2.00
For oflicial map of city of Los Ansje
les and N. E. A. pamphlet, address E. B.
Siossen.
9i)(fc(fX) IXIXI)3XX
A. Inlrl IVI-!-- o4-
Your Door
Would present great attractions. "Monev to burn"
would be a reality. But if you had a million and
wanted to spend it on a wheel, you could only use
b4U.0U of it to advantage. That would be for a
44 Wittmann." If you bought any other wheel at anv
price, you would need the balance for repairs.
Do you know why the repair men never recommend
"Wittmanns?" Well, it's plain. They don't get
any money out of 44Wittman" riders. Look for a
"Wittmann"
you go into a
shop. Scarce
teeth. Look
'mann" bicy
the streets,
ves on the
next time
repair
as hen'fc
for 44Wit
cles o n
Like lea-trees.
w;,i-in,i "
II ItlllllUIIUI
'
(B
W
Why? Use your reason and rido :i
44 Wittmann" bicycles suit rourrh and honw weight
riders because they hang together. At any rate you
can take no chances.
If defective parts arc found in Wittmann Bicycles
ive will replace FREE at our store and pay all trans
portahou charges, if any.
NOW IS THE TIME to buy owing to rapid advanc-"
ing prices on material and labor. Guaranteed price
of $40.00 for entire seasons of 1899-1900.
Harness,
Bicycles, and
Phonographs.
143-145 South
. 10th Street
Lincoln, Nebr.
WITTMANN
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