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About The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903 | View Entire Issue (June 24, 1899)
10 THE COURIER. A Sad DlNappoliitment V xMM bT1 A WOMAN'S WAIL. Why do I wear a veil? ' Fit of no use, 'Tb alwayt fetching loose, A plaything of the winds, that takes delight In ever being wrong and never right. Though of my costume 'tis a chief detail, It makes me fret and fume and fuss and rail This veill I cannot get it off when it is en, And once I doff it, then I cannot don. W hy do I wear it? 'Tis a nuisance great, And an expense Immense! This wretched, flimsy veil! It is so frail, To-day I buy a new one, and, behold, To-morrow it is oldl Forth to the shops then angrily I hie Another veil to buy. On every side I sec rare bargain sales, But not of veils. And so I pay an awful price, For I must have it nice; With knots, Or Spots, Or tiny polka dots; Or simple plain Illusion But of such I buy six times as much. And so. You know, The cost is just as great. Oh, how I hate A veill Do you suppose I like to feel it rubbing 'gainst my nose? Forever catching on my eyelash tips, Pcristently adhering to my lips, The while the ill-dyed blackness of its lace Makes grimy smudges on my face. Or if the veil be white, Itself it smudges till it is a slghtl ' Why do I wear it? Why? It is a crime thus daily to enwrap One's self in such a microbe-trap! Death and disease lay hidden in its curves. A pest! A bane! A blot upon our sex, Just made to vex And burden woman's overburdened nerves. Oh, Fashion, hear my wail! Or is my plea to let me go without a veil Withoot avail? Carolyn Wells, in Harper's Bazar. MOTH DESTROYER. A FerulUr 1'lant In Mew Zealanil Doe It. A plant Is cultivated in New Zea land with great care and on a great scale which has the singular property of destroying the moti that Infest vegetation, sayB Cosmos. This valu able plant Is the augarla albens. It Is a native of South Africa, but is easy acclimated wherever there is a frost. It produces a large number of whitish flowers of an agreeable odor, which attracts insects. On a summer even ing may be seen bushes of auragla cov ered with moths, which by the fol lowing morning have quite disappear ed. The action of the flower Is en tirely mechanical. The calyx is deep and the nectar is placed In Its base. Attracted by the sight and powerful perfume of the nectar, the moth pene trates Into tho calyx and pushes for ward its proboscis to get tho precious food, but before It Is able to do this It Is seized between two solid jaws that guard the passage and that keep the insect a prisoner until It dies. Growth of Human lUlr. Authorities differ as to the rato of growth of tho human hair, and It Is said to be very dissimilar In different individuals. The most usually ac cepted calculation gives bIx and one half inches per annum. A man's hair, allowed to grow to Its extreme length, rarely exceeds twelve or fourteen inches, while that of a woman will grow In rare Instances to seventy Inches or seventy-five Inches, though the average does not exceed twenty-flvo to thirty inches. mm mirffiF& First Highwayman "Why do ycr look m glum, Hill?" tiesond Highwayman (surveying' tho spoils with disgust) ''Its given goods, hy gosh! Dat was a farmer from do city wo jest held up." A LHaty IHalno Mint. "Mosc" Little was a shii'Lless inhabi tant of a Maine town, who would not work a minute longer than was neces sary to get money enough to support him in idleness for a few days. He went into tho village store to pur chase some groceries, one itum of which was a dollar's worth of Horn. -He put the smaller articles in a basket which he took on one arm, while he carried the Hour on the other. All at onco he set the bundle down. "Say, Jack," said he, "Hour lower?" "Yes," replied Jack. "We give :5 pounds for a dollar now, instead of 30." 'Well," drawled Mose, "I 11 be glad wheh it goes up again, so I shan't have to lug so much for a dollar." Clrcu.nifttnces Alter Caaea. Ah Col. llillson was going down tho steps he met a suspicious-looking boy with a lot of bills. "Is Col. Uillson's office up-stairs?" 'Yes, but I'm not in or rather the colonel is not in." "Ain't you the man?" "No, my son." "I'd like to find him. I've got a tele graph money-order for him." "Let's see. Who is the man you want?" "Col. llillson." "I thought you said Col. Hilling. I am Col. llillson." The Honest A Kent. New Clerk That house you rented to Mr. and Mrs. Suburb has nothing but a cistern, and that is fifty feet from the door. You told them there was water in the house. Suburban Agent There is. Cellar's half full. Wanted Comfort. Guest Your bill, sir, is outrageous. Instead of charging me your usual rates, you have charged three times that, and credit to extras. Hotel Clerk You forgot that you euid you wished to be made comfort able. Piooftlng a Trade. Modern Girl Father, I long to be iml. !... i (o rely on mv own 'ex ertions for support. Wh t trade or profession would you recommend? Wise Fa her First-class oooks'mako 5,000 a year. Modern Girl I don't like cooking. It's too feminine. The iTIunher fflanhed. I want some nice little thing for my wifo something that'll please her." said Mashnm. "Perhaps you con'd Migge' t something." " es," said the saleslady. "I think a telegram Baying a house has full on on you oughtHo please her." Comfort lor Life. " 'ometim si think I shall never, nevjrmitr.y," said Miss buster in a burst of conhdence. " h, don't disnoir," replied Miss Flip; we reod in the bible that Naomi was 580 years old when she married." I'oaton Style. Arabella During your visit to Bos ton did you encounter Cupid's darts? Bertha Boston cupids do not use darts. Arabella What, then, 'do they use? Bet tha Bean-shooters. Miss Goltox The world owes you a living. Oleverton Woll, you're all tho world to me. aaBRUW7'BaaaaaaaBBaHKsSiaS'jMBa aPaW'VTVr 'BilaaaaaWT'c ' KSsatsaW HraaaBHBKflkuKBniBaBaBaBaFBaT'1 saaT BBBBBBBanw f bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt iY7jjst vjbbv aaaaBaffiaT'Si'i' VaBBBaaBBalRLBBaBBaf sfur aBavaaawijaji jBBy 'tyEiHBBflHppBBBBBBiR ' ja BaaBaaJaaT'dwv ?PWKWrVa;fM "Ssbmbw-, bbbV' w Afc 3KWrr?i.V frit lJm:JE BawKyBBaHBaMBailBaSBBW BBaBBwlMsK7 '' '2i;HlBBBBBBBBaBBaBB& aaaBMal 7aBa ' kBBaBBaBBaBBaBBaVBBaBBaBaBBaBBaB JUST FOR FUN. Mrs. Sniff I wiBh you'd pay a little attention to what I say! Sniff I do,, dear as little as possible. An Irish philosopher says the only way to prevent what's past is to put a stop to it before It happens. "Miss Grotesque says that when a little girl she was so fond of walking on stilts." "Well, she hasn't got over it yet." She Why does a woman take a man's name when she gets married? He Why does she take everything else he has? "That fellow has a regular horse laugh." "What could you expect of a man who Is the habit of taking a pony every hour or two?" Freddie Ma, what Is the baby's name? Ma The baby hasn't any name. Freddie Then how did he know he belonged here? "The Idea of having the nerve to claim she first Baw the light in 1878." "I would not Judge her too harshly. Perhaps she means the arc light." Mrs. Murdock Doctor, I'm afraid I've eaten something that has dis agreed with me. Doctor Pelletts (ab sently) Well, It might have known better. "I see there Is talk of a plow trust with a capital of 60,000,000." "Well, haven't I been telling you right along that they would run this trust business into the ground?" "HIb aim in life seems to be a poor one." "Yes. He inherits that from his mother. I once saw her throw a stone at a dog In tho street, and hit her hus band in the back yard." Mrs. Minks Isn't it queer that such a little bit of country as England can rule such a vast amount of territory? Mr. Minks Well, I don't know. You're not very big, yourself, my dear. "Why, Tommie, you're at the Jam again, and only whipped for It an hour ago!" "Yes, mamma; I heard you tell auntie you thought you had whipped mo too hard, and I thought I'd make it even." Adding Iniiult to Injury. It was the first night of his comedy, and, although It had fallen rather flat, he had hopes. "What do you think of it he asked a friend who had Just come out. "Oh, It's all right for the kind," returned the other, "but I don't think the public likes that sort of a play. It would rather have something to mako it lough." "Make It laugh!" roared the indignant playwright. "Yes," answered the other. "Next time you ought to try to write a tra gedy." Chicago Post. I ri.-fr,', ifNrflBrilifMIBflrfcfMfim Titmmr. Drnwln:; thu I.lne. I've loved tho girl of uv'ry laud Our own tlt'iir occidental Delightful (lit Isles, oko thu (lurk Sleek slaut-orbuil oriental, All sorts, hy turns, huvo touched my heart - Grcok, Yankee. Turk und Danish Hut O. in y. I can't abide. Tho maiden who is mannish. There' the Hub. Mis. Pusv neer It is quite a delicate question o know just whom to invite to ii, party. M'is. Upli m Upham No tat all; the delicacy comes in knowing whom not to invite. Cupid Under Arrest. Mr. Pulliam (about to propose) Miss SanToi-d, 1 urn not going to say what I wanted to say an hour ago. 'Can you not guo'S, from my eyes, whut it is? Miss Sanford Do ou mean "Good night?" You look sleepy. lie eclllN to Il, Mr.. Snaggs Young Mr. Dinwiddle is a bachelor of arts, isn't he? Snaggs I suppose that's what you might call him. He lias escaped 'the wiles of woman so far. A Village Sign. Words taken lYnm n aiim nt ..:n.. feed null. Judge. ItevvrlcN of it t'oncolted Old Heiiu. How dear to my heart ,Uo tho love of my childhood, When fond lueolluetlon presents them lo With Katie and ltosslo I roamed In tho wild- WW Sunlo, wut I'luulie, and Winifred, And as I Krow older lliith. .Stella. Kldollu, EvtuiKol no. 'Tilda, Ann. Polly, irono UonK' "l,Sl1'' JU"1'' Eu,,Ico' Ulanoh. Miriam, Jessie. Kva. Mabel and Noll. A 1 worshlpod my ,Kl,. Pomdopo Culll" And-llhit hero wo stopped hi,,,. With fiioo Kin vn and solemn " "column"! Ul,St 1,,ttt wo"w " whole "At what period of life doeH female beauty decline?'' queried Flitterly. "Well," chirped Flattorly, "that de pends a good deal upon tho girl; tho last beauty I tackled doclinod vory Buddon ly about ninotoon." r r n "ii y