THE GOUR1BR.
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TH COURIER
CfeUBS WITH ANY
MAGAZINE.
WRITE FOR TERMS.
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Bishop Portley Oh, wall, neither are
craba nor lobstore, for that matter.
Mrs. Portley But they are shellfish,
are they not, Alfred?
Bishop Portley Well, haven't turtles
and terrapins shells?
Mrs. Portley (after a pauBe) So they
have, to be sure. But
Bishop Portley (quickly interrupting)
Very well, thn, let us have them in
future. It is not at all conducive to
health to carry abstinenco too far. Evjd
the laborer in the vineyard of the Lord
must eat, and the Holy Scriptures ex
preRsly command: "Thou shall not
muzzle the ox that thrashes."
Mrs, Portley (fervently) -Amen!
HEART 3ISKiVSI5
And nervous
other diseases
ailments are as curable as
I treat nothing else
J. S i;eoniarcltf Ufcl.D.
Office 1427 O Sr., Lincoln, Neiir.
SEND US ONE DOLLAR ?Jmi you This biiS-ii.
ISIIO aalltra kick-grid KKHKHVUIH COAL AMU WIXIU
iwm htutk, by freight U.U.I)., subject to examination.
rAuillllio I ni
your freight
ileK)t and If
(uuml iierfect
ly satistaclory
u Ik irtilNl
HU.o BiR.
MAW you
ever saw
or heard
nf.nar the
WhlUHT
AUMT ear
flfKCUL
WIIIC,
No Wtn.der it's L'rai.
The silver question, ae it is under
stood In some parts of Kentucky, If
graphically illustrated by a letter
which one of the statesmen at the cap
ltol received from a correspondent lxi
that state. It appears from this epis
tolary evidence that a controversy wai
being waged between a sound-money
man and a silver champion. The gold
man thought he had the best of the
argument. He asked his adversary why
he thought that the free coinage of sil
ver would make times better.
"Simply because it would put more
money In circulation," said the white
metal crank.
"But how will it put more money in
circulation? " demanded the gold man,
"How?" asked the sllvrr man, with a
mile of contempt at his opponent
"How? Why, you blamed fool, if you
can take one gold dollar to the treas
ury and get sixteen dollars for it, won't
that increapr the circulation?" Pitta
burg PlspitLb
$13.00
AumI&hO
ACME
BIRD.
WHITE KOR OtIRliKI FREE
STOVE CATALOGUE.
less the 11.00.
tut with or-
dor or 112 00
ami freight chance Till stove la site No. R. oven 1 1
lHxlxll, toiilst2xli mude from lx!t pin Iron, extra
larite flues, heavy covers, heavy lintnif anil trratt,
lance oven shelf, heavy tin-lined oven door, handnonie
nickel plated ornamentation and trliuiulnt(, extra
lance deep, KenulneHUadUhporwIilallaul rtMnolr. hand
some lance ornamented base. Itrat rusl burarr mtit, und
we furnish fKKK an extra wood icrate, niukinir It a wr
feet wood bararr. WK ItMl'K A HINUIMiui'AHA!TKk with
every move and Krauteo safe delivery to your i all
road station. Your local ilvaltr would ehaive you fii.vo
for such (tovr, the freight U only about 11.00 for
each 600 miles, we sal I at ltl SIO.IM), Address.
EARS, ROIIUOK A CO.(INC.)CHICAC0,ILL
(tMNi C MM UMNWJlly NlUUJWC.)
Sure of Ilia Facta.
"It's a great story," said the visitor
to the city editor, to .whom he was sell
ing Information about a coming divorce
case. "McSwlgger found the co-respondent
In his wife's room, and shot
at him four times, but missed, and now
he Is going to sue for divorce."
"But how did you get your Informa
tion," asked the editor.
"Couldn't help It," was the reply;
"I'm the co-respondent." Ex.
One Faahirm KxpUlned.
Little Dot Mamma says when she
was a girl little girl wore white stock
ro'a wat didn't make their feeta all
black like these do.
Little Dick Then wot did they begin
weavin1 black stockin's far?
Little Dot (after some thought) I
guess it's because it's caaier to wash
Wet than to wash atockin'a.
i $
The Affairs
of Europe
are faithfully portrayed in the original and
exclusive cable dispatches which The CHI
CAGO RECORD prints daily from the leading
capitals of the old world. This magnificent
special service is in process of being greatly
extended so as to include every important
city in Europe; and it is supplemented by
the full regular cable service of The Asso
ciated Press.
The Chicago Record, alone of all American
newspapers outside New York city,
now prints original and exclusive
cable dispatches daily from
the leading capitals of Europe,
$25.00 $25.00
The Union Pacific has made the Great
ly Reduced Rate of $25.00 to Portland
and other Puget Sound points, also to
Helena and Montana points, Salt Lake
Oity and Utah points.
For tickets and full information call
on U, B. Slosbon,
General Agent.
MUM, Ho AfciiuW.
In announcing kc office a Georgia
candidate who evidently doslres to
make his record plain, a newspaper
ays: "I never was in the war; never
aollered at the surrender and never
killed anybody that let me nloae, and
ihe only thing I know about the finan
cial question is this: I need uoaey"
AUr.ata Constitution.
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