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About The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903 | View Entire Issue (July 9, 1898)
Br William Reed Dunroy.
Hunkydory is a small town in a state
not far from Nebraska. It nestles among
large farms where the corn grows tall
and the hedges are green and ae level as
a pantry shelf. Tali trees grow round
about the town and make it shady and
cool. The Btreets of the village are wide
and clean, the houses that line them are
old fashioned, painted white, and green
blinds make them look as if dressed epic
and span for Sunday school.
There are only about five hundred
souls all told in this village and in con
sequence everyone knows everybody
else like a book, and family history is
public property. Should a stranger
make his advent into the little town his
presence is like a large Btone dropped
into the m'ddle of a small mud puddle,
and the surface of the public puddle is
serried .with wavelets ever growing
wider and wider. Every failing and
foible of every member of the communi
ty is as well known as the figures on the
dial of a clock and the chief topic of con
versation of the inhabitants is the per
sonal conduct of those cot present at
the meeting in question. The women of
this little town would shudder in horror
if anyone accused them of gosaipingyet
they repeat the salacious details of the
latest bit of scandal with the delight of
people who are Bhut in from the outer
and wider world. It one in the village
goes wrong everyone else seems to take
a great delight in the matter, and the
first one to find it out is the most
sought after for a little time. Not the
least of the accomplishments of the
inhabitants is the faculty they have of
putting two and two together and arriv
ing at conclusions. There seems to be a
bit of the Sherlock Ilolmes blood in their
veins and the way they get at the inner
motives of every man's actions is terrify
ing to a stranger.
Recently a young physician made his
appearance on the streets of Hunkydory.
He was a dapper little fellow and soon
had his shingle hanging on the promi
nent street Every day he walked along
the women peeked at him from behind
the lace curtains and Bized him up. The
excitement of his presence had hardly
abated when the whole town was thrown
into a tremor of nervousness by the an
nouncement that Tom White had said
that the doctor had eaid that his wife
Fas coming the last of the week. By
night the news was spread all over town
and every one was conjecturing as to
what sort of woman she would be, how
she would look, where the couple would
live and many other matters of interest
At last she came. She was an outspok
en woman, a southerner, and a perfect
lady. But, alas, she incurred the con
demnation of the dear female inhabi
tants of the town beforo she had been
in Hunkydory a month.
Mrs. Sholand told Mrs. Wow, tha.
the doctor's wife had tried to get her
two weeks washing done for thirty-five
cents! Mrs. Wow threw up her hands
and shouted "You don't meau it? A
two weeks' washing for thirty-five
cents? Impossible!'' But Mrs. Sho
Jand retorted, "Yes, ma'am, I know that
is a fact, for Mrs. Moon told me so, and
Mrs. Smith told my sister that she went
to Mrs. Johns and tried to get her to do
it for the same price. Mis. Johns told
her that she did tot do thirty-five cent
washings. And Mrs. Brown told Mrs.
Moon that the same washing was
brought to her home too and she re
fused to do it for that price. Of course
the washing would be small and not very
dirty, but it would have to be done sep
arat Iy from any other washing and it
would take a lot of time. And I heard
that she told Mrs. Hills, where she is
boarding, that there was no one in town
but the Norrises. So there now!"' (The
Norriees were the only rich people in
With that Mrs. Wow threw up her
hands again and said that she did not
think that the young doctor's wife
would help him much with his practice,
and as for that, she bad heard that he
drove out of town two or three times a
day at a lively rate and then came in
slowly again just to make people believe
that he bad a practice.
One time the ladies of the woman's
club of Hunkydory got up a big mer
chant's festival. All the town mer
chants and those of the surrounding
towns represented their business at the
carnival. Young ladies were dressed in
fantastic garbs, some wore rouchea of
cookies, others had gowns of corn busks
and some wore flowers and vegetables as
ornaments to their toilets. It was a
social event of much magnitude. An
orchestra was imported for the occasion
and the strains of popular airs glad
dened the ears of the music-droutby
people. And now it so happened that
after the girls bad told of the rerpective
merits of the different firms they repre
sented in badly written verse, that the
floor was cleared and the orch stra un
wittingly struck up a dance tune. Now
dancing it considered by a large contin
gent of tbe mr mbers of this club to be
the open road to the heated apartments
of Mt. Satan. So when some of the
light-footed gentry began to gyrate over
the floor to the seductive strains of a
wicked waltz, there resounded throuch
the room excited little explosions of
horror and disapproval. All at once a
maiden lady who belongs to the club
and is a pillar of the leading church
made a dart for tbe orchestra and in a
moment the sound of the dance died on
the air, for the music stopped like a
politician does when eorae one sajs
beer. And three members of the club
who think that dancing is horribly aw
ful, eaid that they would have no danc
ing. The music started up again and a
giddy couple took a whirl in the middle
of th floor. One of tbe aforesaid
women ran out, and as the young man
whirled past her, Bhe caught him by the
coat tails. He did not stop whirling,
but the woman went on with him and
the spectators were delighted with tbe
novel sight of a man with a girl pressed
in his arms and a woman hanging to his
flying coat tails. Eventually this un
advertised part of the program came to
a close amidst the applause of the danc
ing part of the audience, but to the
everlasting horror and dismay of the
Then the three women took up their
positions near the orchestra and an
nounced that they would stay there all
night before they would allow dancing.
Grimly they sat there in the sweltering
heat, like death heads at a feast, and
there was no more dancing that night.
When the orchestra had gone they
marched out into the darkness with the
supreme consciousness that they had
kept a few young people from a harm
less waltz to entrancing music.
REDUCED RATES TO GRAND EN
CAMPMENT MINING DISTRICT,
The Union Pacific will sell tickets at
one fare for the round trip, plus $5.00,
from all points in Kaneas, Nebraska,
Colorado and Utah to Rawlins, Wyo.
Dates on which tickets will be sold are
1st and 3rd Tuesdays in June, July,
Aug., Sept., Oct. and Nov. Stage line
daily except Sunday each way between
Rawlins and Grand Encampment
For full information call on or address
E. B. Slossox,
Fitzgerald Dry Qoods Go.
1023-1029 O St. Lincoln, Nebr.
The following- are but a few of the hundreds of bargains
BLACK WOOL MS ISC YARD
800 yards of Etamines and other light weight weaves,
this season's goods, beautiful quality and patterns, not a
piece ever sold before for less than 50c a yard, now 18c.
These are displayed in big east show window.
BLACK SILK GRENADINES
25 pieces all silk and silk aud wool grenadines which a
our regular prices wovldibe the best bargain of the kind
to be found in Lincoln. During this sale we offer all at
especially low closing out prices.
SHIRT WAISTS $1 EACH
We bought an immense quantity of high priced shirt
waists. We make 1.50, $1.75 and $2.00 waists a most
remarkable bargain by selling at $1.00.
Call at the store and look things over.
For sale, or will exchange for a first
class Nebraska farm, a number of choice
residence lots in the city of Htnnibal,
Mo. These lots are in tbe line of future
improvement and are only about fifteen
minutes walk from the United States
poet office and district court building;
the trade will be made on a cash valua
tion. For particulars write George D.
Clayton & Co., real estate dealers, Han
NEW TOURIST CARLINE.
Mrs. Wicks Why is old cbina so va1
Mrs. Ricks On account of its rarity.
Mrs. Wicks But I don't see why it
should be so very rare?
Mrs. Ricks Well, with my experience
of servants, I must confess that a piece
of china that lasts a month is a wonder
Weekly Personally Conducted Excur
sions to Portland, Ore., via
On February 17 and every Thursday
thereafter at 6:10 p. m. Pullman tourist
sleepers in charge of our own excursion
conductor are scheduled to leave Lin
coln for Portland, via Denver, Leadville,
Salt Lake City, Ogden and Oregon
Short Line, passing through the grand
est scenery of the Rockies and stopping
several hours at Salt Lake City to allow
a visit at many points of interest there.
Berths, tickets and full information
may be obtained at B. & M. depot or
city ticket office, corner Tenth and O.
Geo. W. Boxitell, C. P. 4 T. A
"Commander B has invited me to
go on his ship with him," said Mr. Pat
terson to his wife.
"Ob, papa, if you go will you take me
with you as your orderly.?" pleaded Tom
mie who bad been reading the papers.
"You don't know how to obey well
enough to be an orderly?" answered his
"Then take me as your disorderly,"
added the little fellow, roguishly.
There's been another engagement"
said young Mr. Dolley, who had been
reading the latest war news.
"Ob, dear, sighed Miss Frocks, "I wish
1 could be in an engagement."
And in a few minutes she was right in
one. Harper's Bazar.
The Courier for sale at all newsstands
Rounder I am afraid my liver is get
ting out of order.
Sounder What makes you think so?
Rounder I was worrying about my
debts this morning.
Hewitt You can lead a horse to drink,
but you can't make him drink.
Jewett You're no horse.
Doctor Do you think you could take
a tablespoonful of whiskey every hour?
Patient I'd prefer a drink three
times a day, if its all the same to you.
She I had three men at my feet last
Her Sister Is that all? There'i
tainly room for lots more.
ei last y
b'b cer- j
H. W. BROWN
127 S. Eleventh Street.
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