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About The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903 | View Entire Issue (April 9, 1898)
THE COVI..i. V & . '?r A DEACON, TOO! Oh, the wonder aad sensation ben the trusted bank cashier, Wkk no previous intimation, ffcw one day to disappear; All the country round was shaken By the staggering event, And no wonder, for he'd taken Not a single, blooming cent! g . gome Juuenile ramatics. - One night not long ago I dropped in at the performance of a modern popular infant dramatic troupe. I eventually learned that the play was a tragic drama,but for sometime I strug gled with the difficulty of determining whether it might not be an intentional comedy. The galleries, however, filled with the smoke of the snap, bang, duello decided me as to ite tragic import, for if the thing did not result in a crushing fatality to the villain it surely promised such an end to the audience. The cast iron thunder fiom the dark empyrean of the mimic stage, boomed in ear riddling crashes, and a fresh cloud of smoke rolled out from under the crimson curtains of the cotton light nings. The audience choked and strang led and clapped its hands in a struggle for breath; the heroine shrieked and fell upon the stage with a resounding thud; the hero came bounding through the odorous clouds, bumped his proud head against the eaves of the village chapel, caught his sword between his legs and sprawled full length at Margurite's feet. Springing up he, waved his hands wildly above his head and asked ic calm cool tones; "Marguerite, Marguerite, where are you?" much as though Mar guerite were a collar button and lost under his little bed room dresser. Marguerite, who, at his feet, had been staring up at him, replied, "Here, here I am, Alphonso." Then he, suddenly per ceiving her through the gloom where she lay, took one quick step like a sullen boy, impatient to finish his chores, and seizing her under the arms, backed rapidly across the stage with the heels of his burden playing a rattling tattoo over the cracks of the boards. At this critical moment the villain ar rived on the scene. His waxed black mustache, though somewhat awry, lent a vengeful cast to his blackened face. A moment's search about the dark re cesses, behind the lounge and under the high backed chair, sufficed to show him that he had come too late. Then in loud wrath be hurled his malevolent curses in the direction of the flight of the flown ones, struck a scien tifically approved pugnacious attitude and uttered a louder and more prolonged howl. The audience hissed its apprecia tion and anxiously awaited the end. The villain having exhausted bis wrath became more docile. The next moment, however, sorely racked by his thwarted passion he clasped his hands convulsive ly to his stomach and expired in great agony. G. B. T. She If 1 let you kiss me will you tell? He I really can't promise, j never kissed a girl before, and I am not sure what I would do. She Go ahead. j H. W. BROWN J Druggist and t Bookseller. WWtlng's Fine Stationery and Calling Cards 5 127 S. Eleventh Street. 4 PHONE 68 w August. August is a rotund Teuton of a hard headed, stolid type, popularly styled a "Dutchman." He possesses in an eminent degree, that fine German sense of humor which invariably evinces itself in a knowing chuckle followed by an uncontrollable guffaw, when the point of a joke ha3 been anatomically dissected for his especial benefit. He also possesses that peculiar Ger man trait of assuming an internal capaci ty equal to that of half a dozen beer kegs. This standard of excellence, or capacity, what you will he has main tained undiminished for the past ten years. We also feel wholly safe in pre suming that the first twenty from his cradle were employed in gradually work ing up to this well expanded state of excellence. August might have stood on a level with other men, had not his bead been so firmly fixed to the top of his stomach. Yet while be must look up to his fellow men, he has the satisfaction of knowing that bis shadow cuts a mora prominent figure in an acre lot than many other. Jf, under the glow of the melting sun, his face begets glietening rivers which flow in mighty confluence through the valley of his spinal column, he makes no complaint, but realizing that there is born witnin him an eternal thirst, pro ceeds at occe to quench it in that .vulgar materialistic fashion so abhorred by the effete aesthete. Work, in his estima tion is but a poorly planned project for coining thirst into money; and the use of money, to distill its thirat quenching power. When out of work, cash and credit, he sleeps, and in his dreams, rampant bucks hold flowing bowls to his willing lips. Sleep is good for it leaves an angular taste in the mouth, which may be wash ed out at the "Bodega:'' Death might be good, for it would probably be like one long jolly drunk. G. E. T. TO CALIFORNIA And North Pacific Coast Points take the GREAT ROCK ISLAND ROUTE Elegant equipment. Pullman service. Chair cars free. Through service to California points and Portland, Oregon, in Tourist Sleeping Cars. BEST LINE FOR ALASKA Send at once for a new folder of the Klondike region. If you want to get a farm in Kansas, Oklahoma or Texas, send for our Emigration Folder. Address JOHN SEBASTIAN, G. P. A., Chicago, III. 9 UMIIH nn 1 9 II I 111 1 LU MMMMIIIIIIIMMIMMIIMMMMIIIIIIIIIIMMMIMMMMMMMM GROCERY BARGAINS AT THE CITY BLOCK GROCERY t OUR LETTUCE, RADDISHES. AND ALL VEGETABLES ARE CRISP AND COOL f i 1-93 South Eleventh. MIIMIIIMHIHIIIIIIMIIIMIMIIMMMIIMIIHMUlMMIilllllMIIIMim --- 9l&SSW9 mm deee -w-r- - t I v an irtiper LATEST DESIGNS. Prices to suit all. We pay freight 100 miles. Send for samples. W. A. BAILEY, 1840 O atreet. (:" XXXXXXMXfflttiWMX Do you know where PALACE BEAUTIFUL Is? Well, it Is the place to get a Good Shampoo or your Hcaixr Sin serf, and Treated. This eradicates dandruff and will make your hair SOFT and GLOSSY. It is the place to get a good MASSAGE to keep your skin soft and white. Also BODY MASSAGE and VAPOR BATHS to build you up and clear you skin this time time of the year. MANICURE and MASSAGE for the bands, to shape the nails and make the hand soft and white. The PACE BLEACHED, PKECKLES and PIMPLhlS removed, leaving the skin clear, soft and white. The hair dressed and beautified or powdered for parties, The best line of Switches, Curie and Bangs, Toilet Waters, Perfumes, Triple Extracts, Powder, Hair Tonics, Soap, Hairpins, real Shell Ornaments, Comb etc. Wigs, Switches, Curls or anything of the kind made to ordjr. Near Oliver Theatre. 121 so 13th (First publication March 20.) In the District Court) Lizzie Drain, in and for I Plaintiff, Lancaster County, j- vs. State of I William H.Drain. Nebraska. j Defendant, To William H. Drain, Defendant: You are hereby notified that on the 5th day of March, 1898, the plaintiff, Lizzie Drain, filed her petition in the District Court ot.Lancaster County, Ne braska, the object and prayer of which are to obtain a divorce from you, in which said petition plaintiff states as grounds therefor desertion, aon support and extreme cruelty. You are further notified that unless you appear and answer said petition on or before the 2nd day of May, 1898, her said petition will be talen as true and a divorce granted as prayed for. Lizzie Drain. Dated this 25th day of March, 1898. Fifteen Hours to Ghicago. Is all it takes, if you leave Lincoln on the Burlington's new fast train at 11:19 p. m., any day. No change of cars. En tire train of Pullman sleepers and free reclining chair cars runs solid to Chi cago union depot. Call at B & M depot or city office, cor. O and 10th street a for berths, tickets and full information. Geo. W. Boxxeix, C. P. 4 T. A. D 17 llVl u. r. wiicox has movrd from the Y. M C A. residing, Thirteenth and N, to the Halter Block 144 North Thirteenth St, and u prepared to do all kinds of Upholsterinp; 5 GoucK faking vup u u imynt 411a Dciicr. Or0 u: COMPENSATION. I m&Hts Jfairdressing, Shampooing, Subscribe for The Cockier f 1 a year. BOTH MEN AND WOMEN. If you are willing to work, we can give you employment with GOOD PAY", and you can work all or part time, and at home or traveling. The work is light and easy. Write at once for terms etc., to lAE HAWKS NURSERY COMPANY Mllivatdceet "Wis. MMHIMMMlg1 FORO 1 Hid I but tin," the merchant prayed, As he in church on Sunday strayed, "Could I but spare the time from trade To some good work Fd turnl" The devil, put in humor rare, At hearing this, hk favorite prayer, Straight promised him ' that over there He should have time to burn! Manicuring, Scalp Treatment, First Class Hair Goods of All ; Kinds, Tonics, Pins, etc., go to Miaa Anne Rivett At Mrs. Uoepers, 1114 O street. ' MIIIHMIMIIMMMMMMMS He I beleive you are as mad as a March hare! She Well, you are not far ahead of me. You are an April fool! "Here," eaid Benny's papa, ehowing the little fellow a coin, "is a penny three hundred years old. It was given to me when I was a little boy." "Gee whiz!'' ejaculated Benny; "just think of any one being able to keep a penny as long as that without spending it!" Harper's Bazar. For club reports, society and theatri cal news, you want The Cockier. The Cocrikk has reduced its sub scription price to $1 a year. See title page.
