(4
THE COURIER. .
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I
From Scraps.
HAVOC WIIOL'GHT BY A THREE-FACED MOXSTEIt.
Maudo What did pa say when you
asked him for my hand?
Wlllye-"Whafs the quickest way to Actress-Wbat do the papers say Teddy Ljtewa;tne waB too busy to
commit suicide?" about me? talk
Cnnlcus "For you? Yes? Well, private secretary The howler is de
think of something." i:,,I n.nVnii on nr.r1 Tnnn"
IIUibu( vstauu va vj wv v muw
Miss Plalnlelgh Icracked the Ice
when I was out skating today.
Belle (sweetly) Were you using it for
a mlrrior?
Actress-Charming! And the other? Do Jou buy broken candy for your
Secretary The growler refers to you
as a "peroxide you-know.'
From Judy.
girl?
No. I buy candy that breaks me.
SIZING IP A johxxie.
Cbarlot'e Rose, at any rate, has no
mannish tss'es.
Jessie Oh, yes, she has. She writes
her letters without postscripts.
ififlP
"Who is the man you gathered in to
day?" asked the Canibal king of his
chef.
"I have questioned him, your majes
ty, and he claims to be a football
player."
"A football player is he? Then per
haps he would prefer to be cooked on
the gridiron. Just prepare him that
way and tell him that our motto is 'we
strive to please.' " -
ft S
AFTER THE SUPPER.
Miss Ingenue (in a cosy nook with
Count Stuckup of the Legation)
Count, what are tbeEO funny little gim
cracks you foreign swells wear over jour
chests? This one for instance
Count (with hauteur) Zat, Mam'
zelle, is zo famous Diamond Garter of
zo nobility.
Miss Icgenue Really? Now what
an absurd idea for you coitimental peo
ple to wear your diamond garter on
your chest! Of courtv. we women wear
them
Voice from Lehind (sternly) Ethel,
drar, isn't it getting rather cool out
-
1 1 ip 811
tj SCENEEfjffi. btf
Vlffm -A vv' vjV
New M. P. (inquiring the way to the House, Erer where Is?"
I. C. A107 Tou're off your road, Johnnie. This ain't the Gaiety bar!
Actress Does that mpan the same
thing?
Secretary Well, captious critics
might put a different construe! ion ob it
He You are as sweet as sugar. 1
wish I had the courage to kiss you.
She What is sugar without sand?
I wish you would try to keep your
temper.
I wish you would try to get rid of
yours.
here?
Count (rising and bowiDg iow) Oh,
no, Madame! Quite ze contrary, in fact;
quite ze contrary.
The Eavesdropper.
She I am going right straight home
to mother.
He That's better than bringing
mother right straight home to me.
What's the trouble between you and
Hillis?
I gave him that cigar you gave me.
'When did you first feel hers was a
soul truly in tune with your own?"
"When she took her hat off at the
play."
: