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A UCOSfD-CLASS MATTES
PUBLISHED EVERT 8ATURDAT
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TIE COORIER PRINTIM6 AND P0BU8H1M CO
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W. MORTON SMITH
SARAH B. HARRIS
Editor and Manager
Associate Editor
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I OBSERVATIONS
Major Clarkson, of Omaha, desired to
be ejected commander at the annual
Grand Army encampment, recently held
in St. Paul. Major Clarkson being a
Nebraskan, distanced all competitors
and was elected. This is Nebraska's
year. It's a great mistake for anybody
not a Nebraskan to attempt to be elect
ed chief of any order or organization
this year. Our own Richard O'Neill,
the soft-voiced and gentle-manrfered O
street jeweler, who has a sweet brogue,
determined, some months ago, to have
himself elected president of the Retail
Jewelers' association of the United
States. He packed his grip and went
to Atlantic City where the annual meet
ing was held, and alrncst with one ac
cord the jewelers of the country rose
and demanded that the crown b placed
on Richard's head. Of course he came
home president. The attorneys of the
country met in annual convention. Mr.
Woolworth, of Omaha, white-whiskered,
suave, and of high standing in his pro
fession, conceived the idea that thcro
would be some honor in being elected
president of the American Bar associa
tion, lie went on to the meeting. The
other attorneys asked Mr. Woolworth
where he was from. He uttered the
magic word "Nebraska." He was
elected with practically no opposition.
Major Clarkson, it will be remembered,
was the unanimous choice for com
mander of the Grand Army of the Re
public. Jn a larger way this state has re
ceived unusual distinction this year.
We have nlluded to the honor that has
come to Mr. Bryan, to Senator Thurs
ton, to Senator Allen, to Mr. Bentley
and numerous other Nebraska politi
cians. The Honorable J. Seedless Mor
ton, as is well known, had to use force
to keep himself from being nominated
for president.
Nebraska can raise more corn to the
sere and more politicians to the pre
cinct than any state in the union. If
Mr. Brjan should be elected president
he would not have to go outside of his
own state for his cabinet in fact he
could till all the places in the govern
ment service from this state, and wo
would still have enough patriots left to
keep things from stagnating at home.
It comes to us, from a reliable source,
that Mr. Bryan is not exactly satisfied
with the sum total of his service to Ne
braska. He has come to believe that
the debillitated elevator in the postoffice
building is slightly out of proportion to
the 120,000 which he has received as a
result of the favor bestowed on him by
the people of this state. He is said to
have made up his mind to throw Alt
geld and Tillman and Mrs. Lease and
Eugeno Debs and St. John and the
rest, overboard, and make up his cabi
net of jewels exclusively from Nebraska
talent. We hope this is so. There are
a few faithful adherents of Mr. Bryan
and free silver in this city who have not,
it seems to us, received the consider
ation they deserve, and we hope Mr.
Bryan will accept our suggestions in
good part. Now there is that fecund
and wily diplomat, M. D. Tiffany. He
would make a secretary of state that
Li Hung Chang would no doubt be will
ing to cone all the way from China to
see. Certainly no confidence is violated
in the statement that M. D. Tiffany
would make a daisy secretary of state,
a proper successor to the heavy and
homely OIney. For secretary of war
there could, of course, be no second
choice. Colonel Pace has fought on so
many and so varied political battlefields
that his fame as a fighter is almost equal
to that of the redoubtable Sir Joseph
Porter. K. C. B. Colonel Pace has free
silver whistles. Ho is a man after Mr.
Bryan's own heart. Not long ago he
was slashing around in the greenback
party, demanding the free coinase of
paper. He has a seductive smile unci
an incisive sword thrust. For secretary
of war. Colonel L. C. Pace! There's
another valiant man with beautiful
whiskers who has never had his due.
We refer to that sainted martyr on the
cross of patriotism, J. II. Craddock.
Mr. Craddock is one of the ablest and
most distinguished supporters of Mr.
Bryan in all the country. There's one
nice thing about Craddock he's amen
able to reason. When Alva Smith was
running for sheriff on the republicac
ticket, Craddock visited Smith's town,
Waverly, to make a speech in behalf of
the populist candidate. Before the pop
ulist meeting Craddock got some dust
in his mouth and wanted a drink. It
was very thick dust, and he knew water
wouldn't affect it. He thought whisky
would answer the purpose. Waverly is
a temperance town. Craddock couldn't
find any whisky. Finally he sought
out Smith, the man be had come to op
pose, and disclosed his terrible plight.
Mr. Smith knew where there was a pint
of whisky, and he told Craddock he
would produce the pint, if he (Crad
dock), would do the right thing by him,
Smith, in his speech, the pint to be
forthcoming after the speech. Craddock
readily promised. He made a populist
speech, but said he had nothing what
ever to pay against the republican can
didate for sheriff. Mr. Smith. In fact,
he believed he was a very good sort of a
man. The speech was very short, and
Mr. Smith willingly placed the Hack in
Craddock's hands. Mr. Craddock. it
seems to us, would make a lovely secre
tary of the interior. He would listen to
reason. Now, while one J. H . Harley
draws the postmaster's salary in this
city, it is a well known fact that the real,
postmaster is the Honorable Tommy
Worrall, who works so hard that it
makes him limp. Mr. Worrall is known
in the postmaster general's office as the
most beautiful and efficient postmaster
in the service, and Senator Jones gets
daily bulletins of advice from Tommy.
Certainly Mr. Bryan would not hesitate
to make Tommy postmaster general.
John Currie would make a good secre
tary of the navy. At present he knows
nothing about naval affairs, but he
talked with St. Gaudens once and be
came a famous sculptor an hour after
wards. He could go out to Burlington
Beach and glance at John Dorgan's
flotilla and know twice as much about
the navyas does Secretary Herbert. Let
Currie have the navy. Currie's appoint
ment would settL a question that
just now threatens to involve Ne
braska and Tennessee in war.
For secretary of agriculture who could
be better than Col. J. G. P. Hildebrand,
who, we understand, has deserted gold
for silver? Col. Hildebrand raises water
melons as large as roe's eggs, and he
know6 a good many things about agri
culture in general. He is a formidable
looking niau, and his selection would
give joy to the farmers and Hildebrand.
C. G. Bullock is a nice ream, and we
think he would muko a mu 'i bettor
secretary of the treasury than Mr. Car
lisle. Ho would issue some, red hot free
silver documents fiom the treasurers of
fice. For attorney general, Ed Lamb.
Mr. Lamb is handsome, and wo under
stand he is a lawyer. He believes in
freo silver and talks for it, and that is
the principal thing. If anybody can
propose a better cabinet than this we
would like to see it.
The event for which Ooiaha society
waited one whole year .vas celebrated
Friday night of last week. Of course
the Ak-SarBen ball was not so swell or
so radiantly brilliant as thd first one
when beautiful blondined Isadore Rush
graced the fete. Out then it is not al
ways possible to have Isidore, and the
second annual ball was a gorgeous spec
tacle. And it was swell. If there is
anything Omaha people like it is being
swell, and the annual Ak-Sar-Ben ball
furnishes a suitable opportunity for in
dulging this propensity. The state fair
was not a success financially, but the
principal feature of the fair was an
iridescent spectacle, and King Yost and
Queen Dundy held a fair court.
There is no such thing as a national
silver party. The fact that there isn't
makes the notification ceremony which
was observed in this city this week,
ridiculous. Every man who claims to
be a member of the silver party is a full
fledged populist. Mr. Bryan accepted
this notification seriously. The candi
date is steadily improving in acting
ability.
W. MORTON SMITH.
What is all this fuss about Li Hunt
Chang for? He is not an envoy is he?
He left China as its representative at
tho coronation of the Czar and decided
to come home by way of England and
the United States. "It is his pleasure,
not his duty or his order.
There was a time when he might have
been called a "boss." That time has
passed, however. He is today simply
Li Hung Chang, a venerable and astute
Chinaman, who has fulfilled the mission
for which he left his native land, and is
now moving homeward in the most con
venient and luxurious fashion he can
think of. They had tits over him in
London, but the hysterics were short
lived. The Americans, taking their cue
from England; have set up a rival
wriggle. What does it all come to?
There is a cynical suggestion in this
great to do concerning the unrepresen
tative representative of a nation whoso
subjects are denied admission to this
country, and whose citizens are kept
outside political recognition. It has
been funny to watch the popular ecstacy
about the Waldorf, and then to consider
the persecution and the contumely to
which the inhabitants of Mott street
are subjected bj the same mob that ob
structs the progres3 of the viceroy's
chariot.
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