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THE COURIER.
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Mansfieltj.O., August 10. (On Board
Candidate Bryan's Train.) The Ameri
can public at least that portion of it
which gathers about railroad stations
for the purpose of yelling greeting to
worthy young gentlemen who are in
the cross-of-gold business is a peculiar
anatomical creation. It is composed
for the most part of one large, profuse,
generous hand and one ample foot of
great tamping power.
The hund is employed for the purpose
of pulling the arm of the presidential
candidate out of its socket, so as to show
that the man who is operating is of
cheerful and welcoming mind, and
wishes his guest of a moment well.
The foot is a beneficent creation of
Providence, which enables its possessor
to tread where angels would fear to; to
hammer ruthlessly through a Pullman
coach, despoiling the contour and sym
metry of the pedals of passengers; to
thrash around in such a heavy and
ponderous fashion as to maim and lame
all on board whom it may concern.
Also a voice goes with this equip
ment, and much perspiration. Usually,
too, a pair of suspenders and a black
neglige shirt are worn, but these are
Hon essentials. The hand which pulls
like an earnest and worthy traction en
gine, and the foot which rampages
down the aisle of the sleepers, Beeking
all whom it may crush and cripple, are,
however, necessary adjuncts to candidate-greeting
civilization.
Seventeen men in this cavalcade have
already signified their intention of fore
going all hope and expectation of be
coming president of the United States,
and they were induced to do so by the
things which they are seeing. Twelve
others are wavering, and it is believed
that by the time Pittsburg is reached
hey; too, will decide that they do not
care for the privilege accorded every
Americaan boy that of being a possible
president al incumbent, with Ashing
tackle annex, at some day in the
future. They have been encouraged ia
this renunciation by the observauce of
the actual physical suffering and man
ual labor which are forced upon Mr.
Bryan. Presumably, it is a parboiling
day everywhere, but for a certainty it is
a sizzling, Beething caldron of a day on
the Pullman platform, whither the
candidate is called every few minutes.
The sun beats upon his uncovered head
until the bald spot looks like the side of
a pitcher of ice water, the smoke and
dust gather round until his face is
rather like a complexion made of some
sticky substance well sprinkled with
granules of black.
So to the passenger who has not been
nominated for the presidency and there
are more such than might reasonably
be expected on this train there is a
vast amouut of wearying and distress
ing work about this business of greet
ing, but Mr. Bryan seems to be gratified
at sulphuric conditions, and smile and
stands there, sleepless and worn, but
submitting to the clutch and yank of
approval with no outward sign of an
noyance. His fellow travellers look on, frying as
they aie, and, thinking over the fact
that if elected there will be four years
more of this sort of thing, in form only
modified, they are all willing to run for
high office by the proxy of the gentle
man from the Platte.
As we progress into what might be
called the enemy's country, which is the
state of Ohio, it is aoticeable that the
enthusiasm of the people's greeting be
comes more pronounced. The early
bird hullaballoo which rousted all
hands in the very small hours of the
morning ia Indiana has given way to
a more advanced and concerted style of
noise. The thing runs about like thu:
Whistle for the station.
Ringing of the bell.
Grinding of the wheels against the
brake shoes.
-Where is he?"
"Yow! Here he is?"'
"Speech! Speech!"
"My friends. I "
"All aboard!'
Rushing of steam.
"Good bye."
"Wo wo whoopoo! whoop!"
By that time we are at another sta
tion, and a man in Grand Army clothes
is standing up in a wagon shouting a
preniae of a republican vote.
As the day grows there are more
bands, bat we never hear them. They
are silent bands. Doubtless before the
arrival of the train they played much
moviagsausic, and very likely after its
departare that music is repeated, but
when the coaches come to a stop the
band strikes.
Wherefore should its memoers toot
and blow and thump when other and
no nobler men are climbing over freight
cars and turning banusprings and throw
ing hats, fans and other things into the
air, and swarming about Mr. Bryan's
hand? Not if the court knows herself
will they do it. The snare-drummer
drops his drum and the trombone man
quits swallowing that utensil of sound,
and the B-Hat cornet player hangs his
instrument on a willow or other tree
and goes violently and dangerously in
sane. At the city of Ada, a college town,
the train ran into a mob of people
which had met Mr. Bryan before and
who did not need the introduction
given by Prof. Lehr, the head of the
institution of learning, who presented
the fleeting guest very enthusiastically
as "the next president of the United
States." It was a neat compliment, but
there was a low-lived and mean man on
the train who had passed through Ada
a little while before with Maj. McKin
ley, and the professor had introduced
the Canton gentleman also as the next
president. Moreover, other great men
bad visited Ada, this captious person
said.tnd had been dutifully introduced
by Prof. Lehr to the vast concourse as
the future president. This wicked
scoffer says Prof. Lehr is kept in train
ing by the people of Ada to introduce
unsuspected presidents and kings and
things. When the college is in vacation
the worthy instructor, according to this
libeler, makes use of his leisure by going
down to the depot as the trains come in,
and dragging shrieking and protesting
men who are going to be president
some time out of the guilty seclusion of
their upper berths. The professor is
counted as the best extant in his pecu
liar line.
Mrs. Bryan is not the least part of
this expedition. Mrs. Bryan talks poli
tics as cheerfully and readily as most
women might be expected to talk petti
coats. When one aged devotee intro
duced his Eon to her with the remark.
"He is a Bryan boy, although he cannot
vote this year just misses it by a
month," she answered sweetly: "1 find
these young men not quite old enough
to vote are just of an age to holler mag
nificently." The boy w;is so impressed that he
rushed dowu into the crowd and yelled
and whooped around, and Mrs. Bryan
einiied at the correctness of her diag
nosis. Chicago ltecnrd.
-
rarity or tne Air.
"Out in Arizona we have a way of
bragging on the purity and clearness
of our air," said Judge Murphy, the
delegate at Washington from that ter
ritory, "and we have reason for It, for
there Is nothing like it in the know
world. The air of California may sur
pass that of Arizona from a photog
rapher's point of view, and it Is claimed
that it does, but as the Arizonian only
cares for air for breathing purposes, we
are not at all jealous on that point
We can see mountain tops for over 100
miles, and some here claimed that
mountains 130 miles distant can be
discerned with the naked eye. I was
speaking of this to some friends here
recently when I was blandly informed
by a Scotch clergyman, who was here
on a visit, that that would hardly be
regarded as in any way remarkable in
Scotland, where, too, he said, the air
was very clear. We can see murther
than 130 miles in Scotland.' he said.
'We can see all the way to the moon.' "
Ex. -
Baa's Pay Iay.
It having been the custom of a cer
tain establishment in the north to pay
the workers fortnightly, and the work
men having found the custom some
what inconvenient, it was decided to
send a delegate to the head of the firm
to state their grievances. An Irish
man, named Dan D , famed for his
sagacity and persuasive powers, was
selected for the task. He duly waited
on the master, who addressed him
thus:
"Well, Daniel, what can we do for
you this morning?"
"If ye plaze, sur, I've been sint as a
diligate by the workers to ask a favor
of ye regrtrdln the payment of our
wages."
"Yes; and what do they desire?"
queried the master.
"Well, sur, it is the desire of xnesilf.
and it is also the desire of ivery man
in the establishment, that we receive
our fortnight's pay every week."
The Indestructible "Maywood"
be Most Kxr,
Nat Reliablt.
Hast Darsblt
AND
STRONGEST
Whet! oa Eafui.
BICYCLE.
THIS S75.00 COM
PLETE BICYCLE
IF & ir$35
fi WITH COUPON.
(i'.iajgyL Vl fsake Bernini jrs&r lefiv
Lvl I v . F fl v W00D k 1 1 YsJr
ybU I Xr Mode! No. 5 1 M Xrf
801 Oct. 3. 1813
f .1... 1 ixnr.
rATKST-
J Feb. 24. 1
1 il tv IT 1
Jan. St. ISftfl
Ollifi- fi
The "Maywood" In th ttmngetl an-t 4ii;( &i7 r ver made. Altai u-it l rll kinds ol
road and riders Made of material that Is solut. 'o-iii mul tnry: aimp e in construction,
easllv taken apart and ;nt togethin has few parts: Isof such wiry construction that its parts
wMii-iid together even in in ai-ci ent: uo hollow tubing to crush in at every contact: a frame
that cannot lie broken: so simple that its adjusting parti. si rve a- its connecting parts; a one-picc-j
crank in place of a dozen parts: always ready -to Rive reliable and rapid transportation.
I''i: - 1 mproved double diamond. fjuaruntted for three yearn. Mnde of K-inch cold
raited Ht-cl roili Uonghe3t and strongest metal for Its weight known): joined together with
nlu:ii..iii:ii iitniu lilttaxs In Hiuh am uner th.it It is imioxsiblc to break or any part work
1 e: a marvel or uoveltv .-dmplicitr anil durability; the rcrtct omidu.ition of ingenuity
i il cycle mechanism k'i6vrn. to build a frame without liraze joinlMinl tubing, a yon know
tli4t fr ue.cuntluually break and fractnr nt bnufii joints. mi'l inb-. whti tliev arc buckled
in cannot be repaired. Wilrtri 2-inch warranted wood rim piano u lie muxciit xpok s
an 1 )iras nipples. It IlitS Large b-rr-1 patten. TlltK "AiI.iik.u-i" Host pipe 01 Mor
een Wright Quick rtejialr. or kioic other fim-slasR inn-ii:tl.ti c. HtAKlNo IJall
bearings to every part. Including wheels, cranlc axle sterinv hca ami H.-dals. CHI'S SI)
CHINKS Hcst qualit) tool stee . carefully tempered anil hsnlcnc-l ilAIS-lIigh grade
burdened center-". r?ar adjustment. CKASKS-onr celebrated one-piece crank, fully pro
le :t-d by patents: no cotter pins. ltK.CII Shortest. 2- inch.-: longest. 37 inches. UtAK
Kl or 7i MtiXT KtMtK Inilistructible: fork crown made from gun-barrel steel. HANDLE
lt,!t Iteverslble and adjust' 1: ea-dl- Jjusted to mv position desired: rarn's horn fur
nished If ordered. SAIMH.K V. .t l'. William, or Mime omer lirst-class make KMAT.S
Rat-trap or rubber: full bail bearing. "IN1SII Knameled in black, with all blight parts
nickel plated. Kach IIIcvcIp o-npiete with tool .z. pump, wrench and oiler. Weight, ac
cording to tires, pe i.tl. saddles, etc.. "J" to a pound'.
$10 ia our gpeciii lViiiilejlr I'rit-e. Never before sold
for les. To quickl v Introduce the "M lywcmr IMcycle. we
live decided to make a sperial coupon offer, giving every
-eulerofthUpa-i'racn-inc! togit a lir?t-class wheel at the
(owest price ever offered. On receipt of HS.OO ami coupr.n
we will ship tJ anyone the above Bicvcle. securely crated,
and guarantee sare dellrtry. Moner -etunded it not as
represented after arrival and examination. We will ship
a . D. with privilege of examination, for 16.00 and coupon
provided ". O is sent with order as a guarantee of good faith.
A written binding warranty with each Bicycle. This is a
chance of a lifetime and you cannot afford to let the oppor
tunity pass. Address all order to
CASH BUYERS' UNION,
1 1 lint t t . ....
X Cflapeti Nf. 1947
16a Wt v n Buren Street. Bx 19 17 CH1CAOO. ILL. 'H'-fr-i-i-M 'I-M- Mr
GOOD FOf
$522
IF SENT WITH
OROIR FOR
No. 5 Maywood
...Bicycle...
- r Kf
This has been a remarkable season for cottton wash dress goods styles
have been exceptionally- attractive, prices unprecedentedly low and busi
ness proportionately large. Thus for we have had the most satisfactory
trade on this class of fabrics In the history of our business. Our assort
ment of the most popular lines is still In good shape, among them
FRENOH ORGANDIES. GRASS LINENS. SCOTCH
DIMITIES, LINEN BATISTS, DOMESTIC DIMITIES
PINE LAWNS.
Miller & Iaiix3
SVUrtt VlMSTS
We do the genuine French dry cleaning oi shirt waists
and tine garments of every description. Gleaning and
pressing of gent's clothing a specialty
"-
'X'
MIS' SIM DYE WORKS
OFFICE, IIS a?. 12 St.
HIGH ART BICYGkES
AakMwledge bo eqaal, no peer. They have proven to be not only
aa tne Den" obi actually ine very oeet wneel made.
Gall at 1217 O and examine them
Iaaara your wheel in the American Wheelman's Protective
aeaociatioB. New wheel it jour's is stolen.
O. A WIRICK, 1SH7 O
I
