THE COURIER.
if
l
up todati- politics H Three Opinions:
t
I
&
Mrs. Annie L. DigRs of Kansas sat
for several hours one. afternoon at the
populist convention In a continuous de
bate. .Before her were three listeners,
one a. man somewhat old-fashioned,
who seemed surprised, sometimes
pleased and sometimes scared at hear
ing so much speaking from a woman's
tongue. The second was a Bryan man,
who reinforced Mrs. Disss' opinions
with brief little orations -of his own,
while the third man, a California dele
gate, was unconvinced. Mrs. DIggs
kept her place, however, In the argu
ment, sweeping her closed fan In the
air before her opponent's nose, and
finally, when all these failed, appeal
ing to religion.
"I bellew," she said, shutting her
eyes very tightly, as she does when
much in earnest, "that Mr. Bryan is a
man raised up from the people for this
very purpose by the hand of Almighty
God."
" "Pshaw!"' said the California dele
gate. "Do you remember tne innaei s
unable to rise and respond within ten
seconds will be declared as voting In
the negative.
"In appealing from the decision of
the chair no contestant will be per
mitted to strike a blow below the belt
on penalty of forfeiting his right to
speak.
"The chairman Is at all times the
referee, and as such he alone has the
right to use slung-shots.- brass knuck
les, lead pipe or iron bolts incased in
garden hose.
"In explaining his vote no delegate
will be allowed to kick his neighbor in
the stomach, unless by suspension of
rules on two-thirds vote.
"In debate no member will be allowed
to flee frantically through the hall pur
sued by hls-opponent, to the great det
riment of decorum and the annoyance
of the other delegates, who have a
right to expect that speakers will stand
still, so as to be more easily reached
with argument, brickbats, paving
stones and other missiles. A political
prayer 'Oh, God, why hast Thou made convention Is not a gathering of wing
us and then forgot us?' Bosh! I don t Rhots."
believe in this God business."
Mrs. DJggs was rather staggered, but But ,t lg j. to g what w, become
she began again: , of the two statesmen when this fevered
"Oh, the nana 01 rroviaence was dream hag pa8sed awav under the
1 that Chicago convention, we aiant Minn. inflmnr nt hoint- Knth rit
and president shall have an obese
party well known In Gray Gables. It
is only reasonable to expect that in a
few months after the result has been
declared in November the "ten, twenty
and thirty" houses of pleasure will be
handing out small bills warning people
to keep the street clear and not crush
too compactly in their earnest clamor
to seethe great museum and menag
erie show Just put on the road by the
Arm of McKinley & Bryan, under the
personal direction of David Henderson.
The public will read such bulletin
board screamers as this:
WAIT FOR THE GREAT BIG SHOW!
McKinley and Bryan's World-Famed
Exposition of Presidential Ani
mals aad Other Interest
ing Things.
THE LOVE BIRDS.
(Presented at Enormous Expense by
Admiring Kansas Voters to
Mr. Bryan.)
Don't Miss PETE, the Canton Rac
coon. He Is Ringtalled and Cuter
Than a Chinese Baby. Given
by Ohio Men to theGreat
est Ohio Man.
The Two Giant Watermelons From
Georgia, Gollah and Colossus. The
Largest Watermelons Ever Born in
Captivity. Gaze on Them and Retire
Full of Wonder.
WHAT NEXT? WHAT NEXT? Why
What Should It Be But Mr. Bryan's
Choice Collection of Egyptian
and Chaldean
RABBITS' FEET
(Or Rabbits' Foots, if You Prefer.)
Get Onto the Thirty-seven Different
Kinds of Pet Burros and Donkeys
From Colorado, Maine. .New Jersey
and .Other Foreign Lands Where
Fond Admirers Dwell.
The Ecstatically Glorious and Super
fluously Chaste Parrot LUCRECE,
From California. A Tribute to Major
McKlnley's Great Worth by an Un
known and Unsung Worshiper (Mike
De Young, However, Is Suspected.)
Note This Parrot Employs Only Such
Language as Would Not Bring the
Blush of Shame to the Cheek of the
Purest Populist.
HANK, the Jackass With Two Tails.
Mr. Bryan's Shef Doover. This Sin
gular and Symbolic Beast Was Given
By One Who Wished to Keep the
Names of Chicago and St. Louis
Fresh and Green In the Mind of the
Candidate.
THERE ARE OTHERS. THERE
ARE OTHERS. OH. YES, THERE
ARE OTHERS.
Beasts, Birds. Wildfowl. Fishes and
Queer Freaks of All Kinds Contrib
uted by the American People to
Messers Bryan and McKinley During
Their Recent Contest. Popular Prices
In E'ery Part of the House.
Yes, if the fashion of giving all sorts
of wild and tame animal life to the can
didates continues they will be well fixed
for an avocation which will be Indorsed
by the clergy, the press and the high
school.
nil that Chlcaeo
know It would turn out so, but the
Lord overruled so that the man should
be selected who was the only man that
has suddenly fallen."
"I don't believe In the crisis busi
ness, either." grunted the unconvinced
man. "You've been raking up a crisis
every four years ever since I was a
boy." And when night fell on the de
bate he rose still unconvinced.
The true quality of Mr. Bryan as an
orator has become a burning question
with the democratic leaders. It
is conceded that he must go on -the
stump. The curiosity is great to hear
him", and he must Indulge a feeling
so complimentary to him. And his
tour will probably be an extended one.
To honor one section at the expense of
another would not be good politics.
Here, now. will be the test of the man.
How will he stand It? He stampeded
a convention. Can he stampede the
country? A new speech will not be ex
pected of him at every point, but can
he make at any point a speech that
will approach in effectiveness the one
with which he secured his nomina
tion? The. democrats are anxious
about this. They realize thatthe Chi
cago speech was made under excep
tional circumstances. The hall Tvas
packed in his favor, opinion was made
up, Mr. Bryan was not called upon to
argue anything or to prove anything.
Ringing assertion was all that the
silver men desired, and It was all that
they got. He had only to unbridle his
fancy and his vocabulary. He did that,
and more. But, as the presidential
candidate of his party, he rests under
a different and a much heavier re
sponsibility. Instead of unbridling his
fancy he must ride It with a curb.
Every word he uses must be weighed.
He must argue his points and attempt
at least to prove them. The question,
therefore, arises, what effect on him
as a speaker will this sort of restraint
produce. Will It retard or increase his
capacity as a spellbinder? The Chi
cago deliverance, or' the fame of It, will
constantly confrona him. His success
or failure will be measured by his ap
proach to that. If he falls as an orator
he will fall completely, for his only
standing in the campaign will be that
of an orator, with one tremendous win
ning to his credit.
The contest between Mr. Arthur Sew
all of Maine and Mr, Thomas E. Watson
of Georgia is going to be worth watch
ing. Considering the difficulty that
will be met in fixing up matters in the
electoral college it may be found ex
pedient for one or the other of the gen
tlemen to "withdraw." and the attitude
of at least one of them on this point
may be gained from Mr. Watson's lat
est Interview. He said:
"I will accept the nomination. If
Mr. Sewall Is truly a patriot he will
withdraw. Petty selfishness must not
hamper great measures."
The public now waits to hear what is
Mr. Sewall'8 Idea of the necessities of
the situation. Possibly the Maine can
didate has a different view as to who
ought to do the withdrawing.
William V. Alien is a prompt person.
Hardly had the populist convention
adjourned when he called his stenog
rapher to him and began work upon a
new book of parliamentary practice to
succeed "Roberts' Rules." "Cushlng's
Manual" and "Reed's Rules." Tne
handbook will be employed at all sub
sequent political meetings. The first
chapter reads llkethis:
"In the motion to adjourn the pivot
blow Is barred.
"In offering an amendment to the
previous question four-ounce gloves
must be used, in deference to the state
law la relation to such matters.
"A privileged question must be pre
sented la a fair, stand-up manner, with-'
oHCbKisa, gouging or choking.
"In'tne call of the roll any delegate
4Thea wanting a clean. eas) atavs
r aa artistic hair-cut, try
IF.
WESTERF1ELD
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