i-'j.j.on.ej-'u.
THE COURIER.
is
It
It
M
u
it
i!
11
it-
m
m
A V1GT1M OF HEREDITY.
"You have twice told me," said the
benevolent Atlanta man to the wooden
legged mendicant, "that jour leg was
loet in the war?"
"Yes, sir."
"Now, I am sure you were too young
to enlist at that time?"
"Well, sir, I can't deceive you; you are
right. It was my father who lost a leg
in the war, and the blamed thing runs
UNWARRENTED SACRIFICE
in the blood. I simply inherit it.
a wounded veteran by birth!"
I am
WERE GOMRADES.
Your dog has just killed
I saw
Squatter
one or my sheep.
Wanderer Ho ain't my dog.
Squatter Why, confound you.
him last night with you at the station!
Wanderer Yes, we wus mates then,
bul the larst time he worried a sheep 1
Bays to him, "Bob," sez I, "if ever yer
let your hunger git the better or yer
morals again you an' me part company"
so jer see he's on his own hook now.
ooooooooooo
I H. W. BROWN !
Druggist and
fi Bookseller.
Fine Stationery
and
Calling Cards
S. Eleventh Street, i
PHONE 68.
0000004)0000
CAPITAL AND BRAINS.
"I have my opinion of a man that will
sit and smoke a vile, nasty, cheap, two-for-a-nicklo
cigar on the front seat of a
grip car and make everybody sick that
Bits behind him!" said the sharp featur
ed woman who had taken one of the
side seats near the gripman.
The man in front turned his head
leisurelly and observed:
"Yon were speaking of me probably,
madam?"
"I waf, sir!" she replied.
"Well," he rejoined, "if you had ex
pressed yourself (puff) in a more civil
and amiable manner (puff) I should
have been glad to oblige you, madam
by throwing this cigar (puff, puff) away,
but it cost me three quarters of a cent.
I have only begun fo smoko it, as you
see, and under the circumstances I do
not feel called upon to make the sacri
fice. (Puff, puff, puff)."
IJVI
THE GENERAL AGENT
for
MUNYONS REMEDIES.
Druggist,
FUNKE OPERA HOUSE.
WANTED TO HELP.
1 CLARKSON
i LAUNDRY
! CO.
j 330-332-33I-33G-338
I South Eleventh Street.
I titu,, 270.
I
; 127
' j A fuI1
03 $5.00
I Teeth Extracted Without Pain.
All work guaranteed!
I T. MIMY,
J ....1214 0 Street.
Stranger Boy, there's a dime mus
eum somewhere around here, I under
stand. Do you know where it is?
Boy Yessii. 1 wish I had a dime ter
get in.
Stranger Well, you conduct me to
the place and I'll give y u the dime.
Boy All right. That's a fair partner
Ehip. You furnish th capital, an' I
furnish the brains.
MADE SOME DIFFERENCE
THE COMING SEASON.
Theatrically and socially the coming
season is full of promise. In both of
these fields The Courier will make a
special endeavor to give that which is
latest aid best, and there will be valu
able information and comment in these
columns .hat cannot be obtained else
where. If you desire to keep fully post
ed on these subjects as well as a dozen
other topics of like interest to Lincoln
and Nebraska people, you will do well
to watch The Courier.
"No, gentlemen, I never have any
trouble going home late. If my wife's
sitting up for me I stoop down and kiss
her forehead, not mouth, of course
and 6ay: 'Why, little djar, you phouldn't
have 6at up so long for me.' And then
I get off that old one about Bitting up
with a
JUDGE SGOTT'S SPEECH.
She was in the country for the sum
mer, and was interested in every thing
she saw.
"Excuse my ignorance, won't you?'
she exclaimed, as she went over to
where Farmer Corntossel was working,
"but I do so love to pick fruit. These
plants are very pretty, but I can't see
what grows on them.''
"No" was the reply, "it is pretty hard
to see."
"But what do vou pick off them?"'
"Tater bugs." "
TIBBETTS, BAKER AND MILLER
Ihf three principal candidates who
will oppose the nominees of next week's
reeublican convention are Judge Tib
bettB, Clerk Baker and Sheriff Miller.
Not one of them is a republican, but
they are all good men, against whom no
harmful accusation can fairly be made
If the republicans place in nomination
as good men as these they will do well.
If they do there will be a clean cam
paign. Only the best men should be
nominated for important public offices
like these.
ooooooooooo ooooooooooo ooo
ROY'S DRUG Sit i
1014 P STREET.
Removal Sale :
Special prices on all sun- I
dries, including Base Ball
goods, Hammocks, Fishing '.
Rods and Tackle, fcc Sta- ;
tionery, &c, &c, for the :
next two weeks
Corner Tenth and P. Nissleys old stand.
X1S3LEVS OLD STAND. !
ooooooooooo oooooooooooooo
JOHNNY WAS UP ON HISTORY.
Teacher Johnny, 1 think you would
be ashamed of yourself to run away
from school for the sake of floating
around in that old, leaky, flat bottomed
boat. Weren't you afraid of getting
drowned?
Johnny No'm; not 6o much as on
shore.
Teacher What nonsense! Did you
ever hear of anybDdy going out in a
boat for the fear of getting drowned?
Johnny Yes'm.
Teacher Who?
Johnny Noer.
BURNED TO THE WATER.
"Accidents?" said the old sea Captain.
"No, we never have any to speak of on
this line. Why, one trip, about a year
ago, the ship caught fire down in the
hold and we never discovered it until
we got into port and began to unload."
"That's strange. What put the fire
out?"
"Why, it burned down there to the
sea and the water put it out. Couldn't
burn the water, you know.1
And the Captain wal ed away smil
ing, while the interlocutor was so as
tonished that he never thought to ask
why the ship did not sink.
OOOOOOOOOOO 00000004
5 CYCLE PHOTOGRAPHS
ATHLETIC PHOTOGRAPHS
PHOTOGRAPHS OF BABIES
PHOTOGRAPHS OFGROUPS
EXTERIOR VIEWS
yQuyirit
TheRosewater address delivered by
Judge Cunningham R. Scott, of Omaha,
from which extracts were given in last
week's Cockier, has attracted wide
spread attention, throughout the state,
and we have been unable to meet tbe
A FALSE REPORT
o The Photographer.
Q 129 South Eleventh Street
ooooooooooo ooooooooc
The rumor that a certain minister in
this city has engaged space on all the
bill boards in the city for the purpose
of advertising his Sunday "sermons,'
lacks corroboration. It probably arose
That's all very well for you "said the dPmand for copies of the last Courier, from the fact that the subjects of the
little fellow who had been figitine about At " lue Prea,DS opinion mat ocoii minister s sermons were so suggestive as
for an hour, "but my wife is a giantess
in a mueee, and
"Scott! you ought to have gone home."
that Scott
is a genius in invective. His phrase
"an after dark production on the cross
roads between Bohemia and Judea" will
not soon be forgotten.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ j
I OPDM HE BUFFET. 1 ;
j! 115 So. Twelfth St. 2
V . . . . . Under Funke Opera House. J ?
(i Only the finest liquid refresh- s I
V ments served. (5
y g .1
i; CMS BBfSOM CM NEfflRMDT I !
V Proprietors. 5 i
II o I
I'MMMAAnAMMAMtfinAfWyMWiiC
THREE HUNDRED SUBSCRIBERS.
Within the last three weeks three
hundred new names have been placed
on the subscription books of The Cour
ier, and they are still coming rapidly.
It is the intention of the publishers to
add a thousand to the list by October 1.
The Courier will be placed in hun
dreds of new homes in Lincoln, Omaha,
Beatrice, Grand Island, Kearney, Crete
and other towns in the state. It is only
a question of time when everybody who
is anybody throughout the state will
read The Courier.
PRESCRIPTIONS
and SODA WATER
The most reliable pharmacy
1029 O Street
IMcGALb & BURGH.
WOur
Ice cream soda
is the best on earth. . . .
MR.ZEHRUNG IN NEW YORK
Frank C. Zehrung has made his an
nual appearance on "The Rialto" having
been cheek by jowl with such of the
theatrical fraternity as can be found in
New York in July. Mr. Zehrung secur
ed nearly everything of importance in
the way of attractions. He was unable
to secure Holmes as he is in demand in
Chicago and other cities; but Dr. Park
hurst may come on for one week and
give his great moral show. The man
who created the Indian war was secured
for a living picture, and J. Sterling
Morton will be at the Funke and write
seventeen official public letters each
night
to provoke a p'rotest from the not over
scrupulous afternoon press. The editors
of the afternoon papers were reasoned
with and it ib now understood that tbe
minister can advertise hell freely with
out resorting to the bill boards.
THE TALLSYGAMOREOF HICKMAN
"COME SEVEN."
A man walked into a down-town res
taurant the other day where negro
waiters are employed. It was after the
rush Lours, and five waiters stood in a
corner of the dining room engaged in an
animated discussion of a crap game.
The customer tried several times to
attract the attention of the waiters. He
first coughed, then rapped the table and
whistled. Finally, becoming desperate,
he snapped his fingers loudly and cried:
"Come seven!"
Jn an instant the five waiters were by
his side, ready to execute his order.
And the Tall Sycamore. The' wind
it bloweth where it listeth. It yields to
no man. It blows year after year, and
often the greatest giant of the forest is
felled by its force. For twenty-five
years it has whistled by the Tall Syca
more of Hickman and it has ever
brought the cold freezing breeze from
the north. Will it change this year?
Will the warm southern zephyrs float
through the Sycamore's branches and
crown with fruition John Trompen's
fondest hopes?
UERI6IUI EXCHANGE HATHUI BANK
LINCOLN, NEB.
A WAlb OF PROTEST.
Ho. Mr. Harvey, and ho, Mr. Horr,
Explain what your long conversation is for.
We suspect as equipment you each hare a hat
And allow your remarks to filter through that.
So ho, Mr. Silver, and ho, Mr. Gold,
Whatever you know you haTe long ago told.
Aro you both of you wound for always and aye.
And couldn't you stop if you really would tryT
Oh, long haTe we listened and now we want
peace;
May we ask if the clamor is neTcr to cease,
Or must we, as endless eternity rolls.
Feel your torturing tongues at tho ears of our
souls?
I. M.BAYXOND,
President.
S.H.SURKHAM.
Cashier.
A. J. SAWTER
Vice President.
D.G.WIXG,
Assistant Cashier.
CAPITAL, $250,000 SURPLUS $15,000
Directors -LM. Raymond, S. H. Burnhaa,
C. G. Dawes. A. J. Sawyer, Lewis Gregory,
N. Z.SaeILG. X. Laabertaon, D. G. Wing,
S. W. Burnham.
3.00 Commutation Jtickets for 82.75
Good Meals I 5 cents and up.
BEDDEO'S AMEX
RESTAURANT.
Parlor and furnished rooms in
connection
133 South Twelfth street
Lincoln, Neb.
.tr-xtm !-
te2KS23e523X5!esecw
