JS-i-y:,
1-SKrr-e;
the courier.
is
rerWv.r3
WOODEN MEN'S TAfoK.
The other evening as the lengthening
shadows cast by a declining sun began
to aiark the cloee of the day, as O street
was comparatively quiet, a aolitary
bicyclist might have been seen making
her way paat the Bed Dude on toward
the post ofice. In fact, she waa aeen.
The Bed Dude aaw her, and aaw that
ahe wore bloomers.
t-t
MYerkinaay wotyer wanter erbout
bloomers' he remarked, "but yer can't
atop 'em, aa I don't know dat dey oughter
be stopped. As fer aa I'm concerned I
say dey is a good t'ing push 'em erlong.
As er rule I'm dead agin deee finn de
seckle biznesses, an afore I seen 'em I
wua in fer havin de perlice pull 'em;
but w'en I aeen er lady go sailin' down
0 street in wot yer call de 'rational'
costume, it jes caught me eye, an' now
yer kin put me down aa fer bloomers
wid both feet Some guys k agin 'em,
aa wot fer? Because dey a not modes.'
1 say, wouldn't dat kill yer? Did yer ever
liases to wot de wild waves wuz sayin'
aa' at de same time glue yer eyes to de
sight of de wimmin in bathin'? Say,
ita bo wonder de wild waves say suthin.'
Livin pkters an' bronze statuary ain't
ki it wid dese female surf bathers. An'
say, did yer ever get inside uv er spike
tail an' hie yerself ter a swell ball, w'ere
de ladies wear dresses wot look like dere
wuz er big piece missin at de top? Did
yer ever jine in dertootensample an' do-cey-dough
wid de belles, an' take notice
uv der f ac' dat de do's de wimmin folks
wear ter de balk k mighty scrimpy?
Ef yer have, like me, seen de worl' yer
know der'es no call ter kick on bloomers.
Wy, dey k tame beside bathin'suits an
low Becked dresses. W'en yer say de
bloomers k all right yer jes talkin.'
Course dey k all right. I say bring on
bloomers an'interduce 'em inter saaaiety.
De fellers wot lock on bloomers k way
behiae de times; see? Dey're in de
las car uv de slow freight, an' dey'H
never ketch up. De bloomers k okay,
Long may dey bloom.
t-t
"Say.aev yer noticed de way some
folks k begiain' ter worry erbout de
weather? Dere k people wot er cock
sure dere ain't going ter be no more
rain ia dk state, and dey k talkin'
erboat ouitten.' It hes alius seemed
ter me dat trouble cornea fast enuff
'thout ruanin' ter meet it. It'll be time
caul, to talk erbout crop failure w'en
de crops he failed, don't yer tink? But
some people, dey alius see t'inga black,
an' it seems like dey'd be dkerppointed
if t'iags wuz ter turn out good. Erbout
dk weather an' crop bizneee, jes keep
yer coat on. Time enuff ter cry w'en
yer hit. Time enuf ter cross der
bridge w'en yer come ter it I'm a
kicker myself, but 1 ain't alius punchin'
holes ia de state. I don't put in my
time tellin' people ter clear out.
t-t
"Dew's a fresh water preacher in one
uv de towns in our base ball circuit wot
ought ter be salted down. He needa
picklia'. Were does he live? Wy in
Bockford. Dkhere preacher jumps all
over de mayor in dat town for aakin' de
merchants ter close dere shops on de
opeaia'day. It's like dk: Hesay:uDe
ball players k perfessional sinners. It
seems ter me dot by linkin' himself
(data de mayor) so closely wid de ball
players, dat he walketh in de way uv de
ungodly, an' ataadeth in de way uv
afaaera, aitteth ia de seat uv de scornful
aa' hk delight k not in de law uv de
Lord." Some tain's de matter wid dat
mb. don't yer t'iak? He aint right.
Bet him. Somebody most hev doused
dere glim on him, fer he's in de dare.
De idea uv callia base ball players sta
men! Wy, he's hollerin dowa de wrong
raia barrel. Maybe he wuz finltin' uv
Dave Bowe. Bat de ball players, dey
ain't all Dave Bowes. Wy most uvde
boys wears Christian Endeavor pins an'
you can't get 'em ter read der Sunday
papers dey k so demoralizin'. An' dey
go ter church reg'lar.an' w'en de umpire
gins er rotten decision dey jes repeat
yards uv de shorter catechism ter their
selves. Wy, dey waiketh in de narrow
path, an' sometimes dey touch both
sides. Dat preacher'll strike oat, first
he knows.
t-t
"Queer t'ings k happenin' dese days.
Dey say Billy Turner k goin' ter join de
Salvation Army an' take de money at de
door, and Tom Cooke hez bought a pair
uv bloomers an' will put 'em on an ride
de whole lengt' uv O street, w'ile de
band plays 'Johnny Git Yer Gun.'
Fritz Westermann hez turned inter a
red carnation, an' Mks k wearin'
him in her hair. Mayor Graham k
gittin' ready ter reform de town. He's
going ter hev de Angelus rung every
night an' hev all lights put out at 9 er
clock. Ef Billy Barr and Deacon Blod
gett want ter stay up after 9 dey'H hev
ter get er license er be pulled."
THEY WANT TO BF A TRILBY
A Lincoln girl wants to be a "Trilby,"
And with the "Trilbys" stand;
A greater than the noblest
Of the ladies in the land.
Guy Hurlbut wants to be a
He wante to very bad.
Just to hypnotize society.
With the latest Park fad.
Trilby,"
Harry Lansing wants to be a "Trilby
With the virtues all but one;
And hk innocence, if anything,
A trifle underdone.
Frank Polk wants to be a "Trilby,"
So modest, sweet and shy;
To charm the unsuspecting
As the spider charmed the fly.
Chris Camp wants to be a "Trilby,''
With "Trilby" feet and grace;
For then he knows the other "boys"
Would not be in the race.
Tom Cooke wants to be a "Trilby,"
And do the statue act
In Eve-like "Altogether,"
And public gaze attract
F. M. Hall wants to bo a "Trilby,"
So good and pure within;
To teach the truths prophetic,
The sinfulness of sin.
Buck Ebright wants to be a "Trilby,1
With deathless faith in man.
And admirers in the background
On the European plan.
L. H. Austin wants to be a "Trilby,"
And as a model pose
A chip on both hk shoulders
A coat of brass for clothes.
$100 DOLLARS KEWABD $100
The readers of this paper will be
pleased to learn that there is at least
one dreaded disease that science has
been able to cure in all its stages and
that k catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure k
the only positive cure now known to
the medical fraternity. Catarrh being
a constitutional disease, requires a
constitutional treatement Hall's
Catarrh Cure k taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system, thereby
destroying the foundation of the dkea
se, and giving the patient strength
by building up the constitution and
asskting nature in doing its work.
The proprietors have so much faith in
ita curative powers, that they offer
Oae Hundred Dollars for any case that
it faik to cure. Send for lkt of Teeti
moaals. Address, F.J. Chzitxt tCo., Toledo,
Ohio. Sold by druggists, 75 cents.
THE COURIER
Some Steal it
More Borrow Jt.
Many Buy It
Two Thousand
Subscribe lor It
and it's safe
IF YOUR AD WAS HERE
Where you see it and read it yourself that a fair share
of these purchasers would find their way
to yourstore and by purchasing
Pay You a Handsome Dividend
on the investment
LOOKS WELL II
Well, it will continue to improve in quality, tone and enterprise
until it shall have become
THE AUTHORITY FOR ALL.
F. G. ZEHRUJ.Q.
Funke Opera House,
12th and O Sts.
Prescriptions a Specialty
Toilet Articles.
FINE DRUGS.
Best Soda Water Fountain in the City.
BEST LINE
TO
DENVER
AND
CALIFORNIA
MANHOOD
guaranteed to core a. I
Ten pocket. SI per box.
raaglsts. Ask for It, take
iDDlalawraseer. lit"
For sale la Uocota.br B.W.BBOWM
lira.
iBUiawnnK. M.ammmmm
All these
make many
Readers
who are also
purchasers.
to say that
HE IT IT?
$5 TO CALIFOBNIA
Is onr Sleeping Car Rate on thePhillipa-Bock
Island Tourist Excursions from Council Blnffs
Omaha or Lincoln to Los Angeles or San Fran
cisco via the Scenic Route and Ogden. Car
.niinai :c triuitj, iuu sleeping
car rate from there is $5.50.
ion naYe tnrougn sleeper, and the Phillips'
mangement has a special agent accompany the
---...u.. uovu were-., -u jruu will HI. U.U-.C7
and hare excellent accomodation, as the cars
.. j "-""" spring lesu, are ituiman
baud, and appointments perfect.
Address for fall particulars,
MO. SEBMSTIMM.O. P. A. Chieagt.
CHAS. KENNEDY, Gen. W. Pass. A.
C. A. BUTHERFORD. C. P. fe T. A.
1045 O St Cor. 11th, Lincoln, Neb
igt
I
-TO-
Chicago, Milwaukee, Madison, Sioux
City, St. Paul, Minneapolis, Duluth,
Black Hills Towns.
O O
For tickets apply "
A. S. FIELDING, City Ticket Agt.,
117 South 10th Street
Depot Cor. S and 8th Sts.
S. A. MOSHER. General Agt.
Under new management
MERCHANTS' HOTEL
OMAHA, NEBR.
PAXTON, HtII.ETT DAVENPORT,
Proprietors.
Special attention to state trade, guest and
commercial travelers. Farnam street electtie
ears pass the door to and from all parts of the
city.
RESTORED! SSwtSS
wondarfal rased
ner unsd.ieea-K.socu aa weak Memorr.Loss of Brain
IbbubuVJbbbbbuwSSbh
LsaataaaalBiKfcdi
HU.II
Bes-.au dralBsaadloMof power I nGeoeratiTe Organs of either sexcauesl
tT overexertion, a ahfwl err excess! re oae of tobacco. onl-aa nrtii
ulanta. which lead to IntrE-lty.Conaoptlotj or InaaaUr. Can be earrledta
.. by mail prepaid.
niu
B order wo
imwrsrcH ilibbw mo
r- sold braa
noptber. Write lor free Medteal Book seat aaale
.M.ttMi- . f BTirnMiTniB-s rmsrinn
and W.N.Ba-dUUCNDEU IN iggiau.
I
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