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About The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903 | View Entire Issue (May 11, 1895)
THE COURIER. '.-.. WOODEN MEN'S TAfeK. Few persons in this city are keener observors of men and things than Ed. Young's Indian. Frank DuTeil's Red Dude is his chief rival. The Indian and the -Red Dude each have a distant manner- toward tho other: -They-never get nearer each other than two blocks. t-t Tho other day somebody told the Indian that the Red Dude had given it out in confidence that tho Lincoln base ball team would not finish the season better than third. The Indian becamo agitated at once. His usual placid manner vanished. He puffed out- his thin cheeks, aud there was a look as of bloodlh Els eye. t-t "Wot de 'ell!" ho exclaimed to a group of sympathetic bystanders. "Wot does dat wooden man in red tights know about de game, anyway? Say, some people makes me tired, and de Red Dude leads de parade. See? If doj would jess shake themselves off dis earth de rest of us would 'joy ourselves. Dey are rocky, aDd dey ought to be ground up, anddere dust.it ought ter be blowed away. Jess because Buck didn't show his hand in dese yer exhibition games, an' let his men be ready fer de hospital by de time de reg'lar season opened, some people got red-headed, an' began to lay it onto Buck. Wy, Buck, he knows more about base ball dan a Jersey cow knows about chowin' de cud. He ain't no spring chicken. He ain't no jay lookin' out fer green goods. He ain't fool enough ter spill his baskit of eggs before he gits a chance to scramble 'em. No sir, Buck's got a dead Bure cinch on his biz, and dero ain't nobody wot kin tell him anything. He jess laid low, like Brer Rabbit, wile de udder fellers wuz a puttin' callouses on dere hans and sprains on dere legs and jerkin' dere arms out er dere sockets. Ho didn't want to win no exhibition games. Not him. He was onto anudder lay. And say, did yer see him and his fellers play when dose Peoria chaps cum to dis town? Say, did yer see Buck play wid de Peorias like a cat plays wid a mouse, an' den grab "em jess wen dey thought dey wuz goin' ter do somethin?' Hully, gee, it wuz great. Wy, Buck and his bucklets they jess ccmo out of dere holes and dey chased de Peoria fellers all over de fiel. On de openin' day dat fellow Barnes, hu wuz a king. He jess kept a trowin do ball all de time. Some times somebody got excited and began ter chew de rag; but Barnes he j'ess keeps on trowin' de ball. Den, some feller would git to first or second an den do feller wot did der hollerin' fer Peoria, ho had a fit; but Barnes he jess keeps on trowin' de ball. An' our buck lets, dey wiuned de game, of course. An' de nex day dat feller Gragg, he j"ess out. done hisself. He trew de ball so it seems like Peoria couldn't 6ee hit at tall. Dey couldn't touch hit. Oh, no, de bucklets can't play ball. Say, will you go down ter de Red Dude an' tell him ter go paint hisself some more." t-t Tho Indian's request was complied with. The Red Dude stopped his mono logue on the Napoleonic fad long enough to say: "You kin tell his Indianlets dat if he thinks I said Buck and his Jibrights can't play ball, he is thinkin wot he ain't got no right ter think. Fer I never said hit. Will you j'ess reckellec wot I'm eayin? But wot de old Indian says, hit cuts no ice. He hain't got no license to say anythink, nohow. Wy, he ast a feller de udder day if Trilby wuz Napoleon's daughter. He said he seed dere pictures side by side, and he thought as how dey must be relations. I" spose he thinks dat feller Robert Louis (Stevenson is a member of de fambly, too. Some people, an I includo Indians, don't know enough ter hurt 'em, and I'm glad I don't have ter associato wid 'em. Wy, do old Indian, bo actual ly told er feller dat it wuz proper tor wear er Rob Roy necktie wid a swaller tail. I hain't got no patience wid sich." A. D. 1910. A shriek emote tho air. They found him standing with blanch ed cheek and widely glaring eye. "Thero's n women under tho bed," he gasped. Finally, when their search had assur ed him that his fears were groundless, he becamo calmer. f VltlKE 0Pto flOUSE PRANK C. ZEHBUNG, Manager. WEDNESDAY, MAY 15. Remenyi THE HUNGARIAN VIOLINIST. 1 HAS CHARMED THE MUSIG.I.OV1NG WORLD WITH THE WITCHERY OF HIS 1 BOW. A MORE DELICATE TERM. Barnes Tormer Great heavens, mo SATURDAY MAY 18. boy! Ib it possible that I find you RosciusdoHamme-Don'tputitthat TISSO'S EUROPEAN VAUDB" way, om man; X prithee. 1 am an under study to tho worthy bricklayer you may see on yon wall above. $100 DOLLARS KEWARD 8100 Tho readers of this paper will bo pleased to learn that there is at least one dreaded disease that science has been able to cure in all its stages and that is catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a constitutional disease, requires a constitutional treatement. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly upon tho blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroying tho foundation of the disc a se, and giving tho patient strength by building up tho constitution and, assisting naturo in doing its work. The proprietors have so much faith in its curative powers, that they offer Ono Hundred Dollars for any case that it fails to cure. Send for list of Testi nionals. Address, F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio. Sold by druggists, 75 cents. Dissatisfied. VILLE AND LIVING PICTURE CO KTitrlL Class Specialties OciMttiiae Iiving IrMoturei mish& theatre ED. A. CHURCH, Manager. MONDAY, MAY 13. EMILY BANCKER -IN- McCall & Burch, pharmacists, are serving the most delicious soda water, crushed fruit and ice cream all the time. 1229 0 street. Hair dressed 25 cents. Bangs cut and curled 10 cents at Mrs. Gospers. Harley'u new soda fountain will be Mecca of all who seek light summer drinks. As given 780 consecutive nights in London and 100 nights in New York. TUESDAY, MAY 14 MATINEE. "There's one thing to be said in faor of the pugilists that go on tho stage," said Mrs. Meekton. "You never hear of them quarreling and bickering like tenors and leading men." "No," replied her husband, "nothing seems to go as we expect it to. The actors all want to fight and won't act and the lighters all want to act and won't fight." Concert begins at 2 p. m., sharp. V Telephone Sisler 630 to supplyyour milk. Sweaters for wheelmen. 1137 O street. Tan shoes at Webster & Rogers. Dunlop hats at Smith's, 11370 strreet. Have your watch repaired at Fleming's 1224 O street. "TRILBY" MAY 24th. Excursions to Hot Springs S. D. On May 24th, June 7th and 19 the Great Burlington route will sell round trip tickets to Hot Springs at one fare for the round trip good 30 days. For Full information apply at B. and M. dipot or city office corner 10 and O. G. W. Bonnel C. P.T. A. ?fv$ste SHOW . . WEDNESDAY, MAY 29.