J-
THE COURIER
SELECTIONS FROM TOWN TOPICS.
He had kiased the maids of Spain,
Whose true love is warm they say.
And the maids of Buenos Ayres,
And of Naples and Bombay;
He had kissed and kissed and kissed,
And had never suffered harm.
But a widow of Chicago
Made him ring a tire alarm !
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Dix Why did you let your cook go?
Hicks She was a Frenchwoman, and when we as'ted her to cook
German fried potatoes she threw things.
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They cannot see the stage,
But they vainly ramp and rage,
Inasmuch as they "behind a damsel sat
Who could offer no relief
Much to everybody's grief
For her golden hair was hanging to hat
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Editor You intended this dialogue for jokes, didn't you?;
Paragrahic Serf Yes. . . ,
Editor Well, I'll tell you how to get them published profitably.
Paragraphic Serf How? - - .
Editor Run them all together and publish them as a Maeter
linck tragedy.
Mrs. Buckton Is my hat on straight? , u.y
Mrs. Neudick Yes, but I don't think your hair is.
"The hired girl makes no secret of it that she has fallen in love
with my husband."
"Isn't that dreadful?
"Dreadful? Well, I should say it was. He smokes cigarettes in
the parlor and thinks he can do just as he pleases around the
house."
"All is over between us," said the young man that had found a
richer girl and was trying to take leave of his old love.
"You are mistaken," replied she. "All is not over. In fact, my
breach of promise suit has not yet begun."
He postponed the transfer of his affections.
Bin ke Have you rilled out one of the United States income
blanks yet? ' ' '
Winks No, but my thoughts about them if written' would' be
simply filled with blanks. ' '
Nagger There goes the wretch who ruined my life.
Wagger What? Explain yourself, old man.
Nagger He was engaged to my wife and jilted her before I mot
her.
Doctor You have only two ays to livo. .-,,.
Isaacstein O, Fader Abraham ! Ant I shuBt got golt fillings put
in my teet' last veek.
"Too thin !" remarked the Fat Lady, scornfully.
The .Living Skeleton drew-himself up haughtily.
"I may be a trifle attenuated," he replied. "Perhaps that's why I
can't enjoy your broad humor."
cy!"
The Sultan knelt with courtly grace. - v -,-
"I cannot love another," he protested. "The harem fund is de
pleted. However" . ,
He pressed a fervent kiss upon the hand of the Circassian prin
cess. --, . ,
" I will consider your name in connection with the first. vacan-
We lined you when you sent your naughty wink . - efig;
Across the footlights at ub oh, 'twas sly! ' rvsfo
, .. Bagley The doctor has sent you a memorandum of six calls.
: Brace Just acknowledge receipt, and' say I'll return them as soon
as I can.,. .
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We liked you, gentle Cissy, when you danced
And flitted on the stage with feather feet
Not that your terpsichorean skill entranced,
But just because you looked so very sweet.
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Can youiiturn'my love?" he cried,
His eye "with passion lit,
Assuredly I can," she said, -"I
have no use for it."
NIT!
-vify$$X3--i "..- Mayor Weir ib a second Parkhurst,
O yes, you're quite the champion, I think,
In the sweet art called giving of "the eye..'
...-
Yet now we've found vour Queerest charm: that's flat !
For all your fond adorers, I, suspect, ', .
Now find themselves serenely smiling at -1 .
Your funny Seven Dials dialect.
Ned Is that color in Miss Giddeigh's cheek the natural article?
Ted Oh, yes. That's a straight flush 1 ' " -'
He-The Count will soon be like Andromeda. V "'i
She When? What do you mean, dear?
He Chained to the rocks.
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" . " He drove the wicked, nauchtv trirls
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... - ' " - "From Lincoln far away
He stopped the Sunday drinking, too
And made the gamblers go;
And if he keep a growing good
- He'll be a saint we know
Nit !
He is a very great man;
In his poor, weak and humble way
He's doing all the good he can
Nit! .
He cleaned our city of its dens
Where vice and lust did play;.
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