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About The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 15, 1894)
12 fc , 2" THE COURIER . ' - ' - ' 1 "Yes indeed: I always feel in spired when 1 ride about like this, pure blood, -presented tome by the Sultan of TO A JILT 2 "Thunder, what's the matter with the beast." 3 "Do you want to knock my brains out against this cart? Get out of this?" When first we corresponded, you Wrote "Sir" and I wrote "Madam," But that was when you knew not me, Nor I knew you from Adam. You signed yourself "Most faithfully." I thought it inexpedient To answer you more warmly then, And ended "Your obedient." But soon you found you knew my -aunt's Half-brother's German sister, And bo we struck the golden mead With "Dear" and "Miss" and "Mr." One day I wrote in terms that seemed To you too billet-douz-Iy; You straightway took me down a peg By signing "Sir, yours truly." Next day you feigned compunction and Used phrases almost ferrent. I paid you back and wrote "Your most Obedient, humble servant." "Yours always" once I tried; but you Proved more unkind than clever, By riding roughshod o'er my heart With "Pardon me, yours never." This outrage tore my soul, and drove Me almost from my senses. My answer was typewritten by My girl amanuensis. Once more you grew "Affectionate" And I replied "Sincerely;" You pocketed your pride, and signed Your next one "Alice" merely. And then I gave myself away With "Angel," "Sweetheart," Goddess," And little dreamed the heart was false That beat beneath your bodice. But when at last I signed myself "Your destined caro Bposo." You calmly write and say younev Er led me to suppose so. I asked you what did "Alice" mean? Why, when I called you Venus A month ago, you did not say That there was nought between us? Yes, e'en the -worm will turn, and free His limbs from silken fetters, I sign myself "etcetera." P. S. Herewith your letters. THIS QUEER WORLD. mtr rtaS$S&& -- There's folks that's complainin' Whenever it's rainin', An likewise whenever it's cold; An' then, when it's summer The heat is 'a hummer;" It's "too hot for livin'," we're told. They weren't born for pleasin'; They wouldn't die freezin'. An' wouldn't feel hot when they go; They jest want to grumble, An' rumble an' stumble, Yet have a front seat at the Bhow. But what sets me doubtin', An' keeps me from shoutin', Is this: These same folks git along, When a feller contented Is put down "demented," An' can't sell his soul for a song! People who have tried it, say that there is no better medicine for dyspepsia than Ayer's Sarsaparilla. It may not give one the stomach of an ostrich, bnt it so strengthens the alimentary organs that digestion of osdinary food becomes easy and natural. "- -------- -"Confound you 111" 5 "Just wait till -I -get him hitched up, I'll show you what's the matter with him." 6 ""That's it Now where do you want to go?" -S V-ti " ' '- 4 A S Y