THE OOOftlEft
Alleged Comicalities.
Mr. Philantro My poor man, how did
you Jose your eyesight?
Billie Bluegog In the Government ser
vice, your honor.
Mr. Philantro In. what branch were you
working? i
Billie Bluegog I was engaged in lookin'
fer marks of bullet wounds in pension applicants.
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A FRIEND
S-wtks throng the Bootnbay (Me.) Begittrr, .
' of Uic benelclal results lie baa received (rum .
ArrEiilaMaeofJtycr'kPIUa. 'He says: "I
ra feeling slrk and tired and my stmnncli
. seemed all out of order. I tried a number
ot remedies, but Rom seemed, to give me
relief until I was Induced to fry tlie old rell.-i-We
Ayer's rilK I liave taken only one
box, but I feel Ilk ftnewman. 1 think lliey
are the most jrieaaant and easy to takeul
anything I ever nsed, being so flnely sugar
coated that evea a child will take them. 7
urge upon all who are In need of a laxative
to try Ayer'a Pill. Tliey will do good.'
For ell disease of Uu Wosnarh. UTer,
sad Bowels, take
AYER'S PILLS
Prepared by Dr. J.C. Ayer a; Co., Lowell, Kan
Every Dose Effective
FROM PLAIN TO PEAK.
There's a discription in a nut-shell of the
journey to Hot .Springs, S. D. via the nurl
ington route-v .,-
It's one of the'pleasantests trips imagin-
.Rates to Hot Springs are low, very low,
now. Why not spend a week or two there?
.'The .Burlidgton's local agent will gladly
give yoa full particulars about Hot Springs
and also if you ask for it-4 beautifully
illustrated folder.
J. FRANCIS,
G. P. A, T. A.
, ' Omaha, Neb.
We have seen a number of watch chains
ornamented with a pretty charm in the
shape of a watch case opener, which obvi
ates the ww of knife or fingernail to opes
the watch. They are sent free on request
by the Keystone Watch Case Company, of
Philapelpnia,Pa. Your jeweler here may
hare one for yoa; if not, scad to Philadel
phia. The Keystone Watch Case Company is
the largest concern of its kind in the world.
Its capacity is 2500 cases per day. It man
ufactures every- description of case, but its
great rrecislity is that meet popular of al'
watch cases, the Jas. Boss gold filled.
These are equal in beauty and wear to solid
gold while they cost only about half as
much. Boas and other Keystone cases are
the only cases that have the non-pull-out
bow or ring, which saves the watch from
theft and accident, The Keystone Company
does not retiil, but our local dealers handle
the cases and swear by the theft-proof qual
ities of the ring.
Quick-Drop Dan Say, stranger, how did
yer come ter take that fellow's call down so
quiet-like; wasn't yer heeled?
Mr. Tenderfoot (rubbing his anatomy)
No. But I was pretty well toed.
Von Blurner My wife has just changed
her maids. Now she has a colored one.
Plankington What did she get a colored
onefor?
Von Blumer I suppose it was because
I can't see to kia3 her in the dark.
Dr. Prodle Now that my patients have
nearly all gone away, I tkink I shall .get
off myself.
Miss Summit I hope, Doctor, that you
are not going to join them.
Miss Pinkerly You must have a delight
f ully'happy disposistion, Mr. Jagway. .
, "Jagway Why? " - ,.
.' Miss Pinkerly MrVCIeverton toldi me
that the other night, was the first time he.
had ever seen you -reallj. sober. ,
Jack Dashing Isn't that novel
of the flesh, fleshy?
Penelope Yes, but you know I'm a
nirorous reader.
rather
oar-
First Girl When are you "coming out?'
Second Girl Just as soon as I grow into
mamma's dresses.
He Great guns! She has known me
only a week and yet she has accepted me,
we're engaged. .
SheYou dont say so. She has known
you a whole week nd sne hasn't married
you yet?
IOO REWARD, 1 00.
The readers ot this paper will be pleased
to learn that there is at least one dreaded
disease that science has been able to cure
in all its stages and that is catarrh. Hall's
Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure now
known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being a constitutional disease, requires a
constitHUbaal treatement Hall's Catarrh
Cure" is taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system, thereby destroying the foundation
of the disease, and giving the patieut
strength by building up the constitution
and assisting nature in doing its 'work.
The proprietors have so much faith in its
curative powers, that they offer One
Hundred Dollars for any case that it fails
to cure. Send for list of Testimonals.
Address, F.J. ChehheyA Co., Toledo,
Ohio. Sold by druggists, 76 cental
Mr. Jfmvtd Bigger
Chills and Fever
with distressing eeata. a
fata in chest, shoulder, back aaf
Hood's Cures
sk. Poor bottles of Hood's Sarsaaarllla
aaa strength, rood aDDetite and fceaHa.
David Bigoeb, Wilcox, Nebraska.
H4' VMS wla new Wends dally.
THE BEAUTY OF NIAGARA
can never be described and it has never
be described and it has never been pictured
so adequately and satisfactorily as in the
portfolio just issued by the Michigan Cen
tral, -The .Niagara Falls Route." .It con
tain': fifteen large plates from the best in
stantaneous photographs, whicn cannot be
bought for many dollars. These can be
bought for ten cents by . sending to H.
H. Marley. S. W.v Pass, agent. Union de
pot, Kansas City, Mo.
M.9 You Gong Si atif
Then call or write for one of our t?escrip
tive pamphlets on Arkansas, Texas, IZbb- '
o'uri, Oklahoma, etc issued by the Missouri,
Pacific. Harvest excursion dates Sept 11th, J
25th and October 9th. City Ticket Office,-
1201 0 street.
CHEAP TRAVELING.
The round trip rates to Hot Springs, S.
D., ofiered by the Eurlington Route are low
very low, as low as can be quoted.
Ask your local agent about them.
SPIRIT LAKE IOWA
This is the nearest popular resort to Lin
coln. The lake is large and the surround
ings beautiful. The fishing, boating, hunt
ing and hotels excellent. Route via the
'Northwestern Line Apply at city office,
117 south 10 St
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