rE , THE BEE: OMAHA, SUNDAY, JULY 3, 1921. The Marriea tife-dr What a Nuisance Are Her Mother's Dinner Guests! By CHARLES DANA GIBSON Copjrrtf ht, Life FublUhlttf Co. Helen and Warren A Humiliating . Encounter Exposes th Fatuity Of Feminine Pretense. "What's your hurry? Why can't you stay to supper?" urged Warren with his usual hospitality. That's very kind, but I don't think. -we'd better," wavered Mrs. Morgan, drawing on her immaculate white gloves with obvious reluc tance. It's the maid's Sunday off. There's just a cold supper but we'd love to have you," murmured Helen . desperately hoping' they would not stay. . , "Oh. we wouldn't think of it I know how it is when the maid's off," now1 briskly clasping her gloves plainly, not enthusiastic over the "cold supper." . "Let's all go to the Giltmore," suggested ' Warren, who had been talking" to Mr. Morgan. "Had a mixed grill there the other day that couldn't be beat." "Dear, I'm afraid I can't go out tonight," protested Helen hastily knowing Warren would pay the bill "I'm just getting over a neuralgic toothache and it's so damp out ' : Wouldn't you all rather stay here?" "We'd like to, but some friends are stopping at the Astor-Ritz this ( week," Mrs. " Morgan suddenly re ' membered. "They wanted us to dine ;with. them tonight." j , Then well make it some other ..time, Helen tried to conceal her re lief: ; "I'm sure we'd enjoy it," observed -Air. Morgan politely. ; "You've heard about the change of -management at the Astor-Ritz?' i'Mrs.' Morgan never missed an op 'portumty to air her knowledge of .expensive restaurants. "We're hon ' ?ing they'll keep up the old standard "l ve gotten so I simply can t eat any , where else. It's the best cuisine in '.New York." ' "Better than the Giltmore? I think the food there is oarticularlv annA. I Helen sought to cloak her ignorance ;ot the Astor-Kitz by her limited -knowledge of the Giltmore. - S ?We used to go there a lot, bu Mteiy weve preferred the Astor-Ritz, Don't you love their sauces that Moussehne they serve with file ;,ot sole " 'That's a fine bookcase you have .mere, remarked Mr. Morgan al TWays restive under his wife's vaunt vlub'lity. "Old Sheraton, isn't .-it?" "Yes. we broucrht that frnm T.rm don," fluttered Helen, ever eager to announce tnat tact. ... vvc were going over this year, Mut they say Europe is so overrun Jith tourists I don't think we'd en- 7Joy it. Are vou eoine?" 'We hope to if Mr. Curtis can ,get away from his business," glowed rneien. You mean if we can raise the cash." blurted Warren wickedly. "That,9 good Heppelwhite laoie. xouve got some nice old ..pieces," Mr. Morgan showed a ; genuine knowledge and appreciation or oia turniture. ?. "I wish you'd seen our home be '. tore we gave up the house. We -had some wonderful old things that uccii in me idmuy lor years, eitusea his wife. I often regret selling the house,' but with all those servants it took my entire time . just looking after them." - "Yes, they are a care," agreed Helen, as though accustomed to a large household staff. "Well, thank Heavens we can get long with one," grumped Warren. "And sometimes she's one too many." "Oh, can you manage with one?" patronizingly. "Of course we have a laundress," ""'Helen hastened to explain, furious at Warren's needless frankness. "And 'often an extra woman for cleaning." ' "Well, you're fortunate to get a - general houseworker. They're very "rare these days. Come, George, we must be going. It's almost six. '- You know it's hard to get a good " table at the Astor-Ritz if you're . late." l: When finally the door closed after them, Helen confronted Warren . i with flaming indignation, i: "You needn't have said we had " only one servant! And about going i abroad why did you say that about raising the cash? She'll really be- Jieve it. - "Just why I said it. I was darned sick of her four-flushing. All that hot air about their house a dinky f -, two-story shack down on Twelfth i Mreet." Why, dear, she spoke of all , the servants and "Never had more than one if she had any! Morgan's always been hard up." "But look how she dresses. He v.must have money now?" "Not such an all-fired lot ' He ..made a little in Wall street on that last flurry but she's blowing it all .-in." ;. "Well, I'm glad they didn't stay for supper. There's only that cold . ... lamb and some potato salad." "Huh, I want more than that. We'll go out for a regular feed." "Dear, not tonight. .If you're i.. hungry I'R open a can of" ''Nothing doing. My Little Mary's - Paging a mixed .grill at the Gilt jmore." "If you must go out. let's go to - that Italian place on Tenth street. .-You said youd take me there again. . And I'd love some spaghetti to- . r -night." "Oh, all right," grudgingly. If you're so keen about it. Hustle - and get ready. You' don't have to doll up to go down there." ; At least she had steered him away '. m from the Giltmore, exulted Helen as ; she buttoned into her second-best blue taffeta. The Tenth street Table d'Hote was only a dollar it would have been six or seven at the "- Astor-Ritz. "Jove, we didn't bring an um brella," Warren scanned the darken----ing sky as they came out. "Well, -.we won't go back now take a taxi i.if it rains." - Chicino's, on Tenth street, was a :. .favorite Bohemian resort The food --was fairly good, the portions gen- . --erous, and the place moderately clean. z. Though k was after 7:30 when they entered the long, low-ceilinged, base- ..ment room was still crowded. "There's a table they're just .Jeaving," nudged Helen as a couple ..'rose. The next moment they were .. seated before a clutter of soiled ,i dishes and it coffee-sTtained cloth. which Warren viewed with scowling distaste. The table reset, they were served wnn tne usual Italian antipasti: one lonely sardine, two slices of salami, an olive, and a sliver of to mato. "Oh, dear, don't eat that salami," restrained Helen with a deep-rooted aversion to sausage in any form. "You don't know what it's made of, and you don t need it this din ner's so hearty." "Now you dragged me down here I'll eat what I choose," dispatch ing with relish both the round, greasy slices. , A plate of Minestrone soup, thick with vegetables and macaroni, was followed by a heaping platter of spaghetti with chicken-liver sauce. Warren, about to dispose of sev eral yard of spaghetti skilfully wound around his fork stopped short at Helen's sudden gasp of dismay. "Eh, what's wrpng?" the well- laden fork poised in mid-air. "The Morgans I" in ' an agonized wnisper. - ... "Where?" "By the window. No, don't look now please don't! Oh, how aw ful!" Well I say the ioke's on them.' grinned Warren. "VVhat will she think? I sa d I couldnt go out with this tooth." I hats what vou aret for lvinc You're always cooking up some alibi wnen you think 1 m going to shed a lew dollars. "Maybe they haven't - seen us.' tensely. "Turn your chair this way : so tney won t see your face. What for? I'm not 'trying to hide. After that spiel she gave us about always going to the Astor- Kitz hope she does see us. Here s the menu. Pretend you're reading tnat. "I'll pretend nothinz!" exolosive ly. "How the Sam Hill you going to get cut ot here without passing 'em?" -. 1 , "We'll wait 'til they go." "Huh. I'm not oarkinc her all night. How far along are they?" "Oh. Warren, thev'll see 'von!" a he-traned his neck. For the next half hour Helen minced over her food trying to seem unconscious, yet knowing her flush ed face betrayed her embarrass ment. She labored to Droloncr the meal but Warren was not to be delayed. Refusing to lineer over the he calmly called for their check. -Dear. iust a few minutes Th ev'rp having their cheese now they won't be much lcneer. Oh. I CAN'T r,a them! How can I exolaiu?" "She'll be pretty busv doinc snme explaining of her own." Then sepa rating a 30-cent tip from the change, vome aiong now. face the. music. Could they get by withoat being seen? As they approached the Mor gans' table Helen, her gaze averted, was thrusting her handkerchief intn her bag. Hello, Morgan! Didn't exnert to see you here." Whv. Mr. Curtis This T5 9 rn. incidence" Mrs. Morgan was crim son and her voice shrilly staccato. "We we found our friends had been called away this morning and v ane noundered helplessly. The the. Astor-Ritz was so crowd. ed we thought we'd come down here." "Not a bad clace. A nd miffhtv cheap," brusqued Warren pointedly. "It's the first time we've ever been here." Mrs. Morgan managed a -depreciatory shrug. "One likes to try these places just once." Then cattishly, "Mrs. Curtis. I'm clad your tooth got better so quickly." "I I shouldn't have come out," stammered Helen. "But Mr. Curtis wasn't in the mood for a home supper" Ho pe we II all meet here again some night. Mav not have that muslin' sauce vou cet at the Astor. Ritz," laughed Warren maliciously, "but it's a pretty good olace when I you don't feel flush. So lohg." Out through the low rioorwav. tin the basement steps, and the cooler air of the street fanned Helen's corchmg face. . Oh. I I 'thought I'd frn thrnno-t. the floor!" "Huh. she got the worst of that loid you shed do some tall ex plaining. Pretty glib liar, too. Fair ly good yourself but you're not in her class. Poor old Morgan 1 He got as red as a lobster." - 'Yes, I noticed that and he didn't say a word." "After all' that hoi air she shot off about the Astor-Rhz to run in to them at a cheap spaghetti joint! That was great," with a chuckle. Good as a showl Why squandor on orcnestra seats when you can get a laugh like that thrown in with a $1 feed?" v Next Week A comic calamity, When Warren's Sister Stays All Night." (Copyright. 1821. Mabel Herbert Harper.) Golf ' strengthens the mind and body, builds character and morals and makes its devotees men among men, or women among women, as the case may be. In this respect it differs from dancing, which converts its fol lowers into men among women, or women among men, also as the case may be. The latter condition leads to mar riage, which in modern times leads to divorce trials, and is therefore not to be encouraged. Many people regard golf as pro hibitory because flf the expense in GOLF By JAMES J. MONTAGUE. - tell the boy that you sliced It, and that you will not repeat that error again if you know yourself. If you happen to put on the wrong rubber, tell him that you were in too much of a hurry and that you will remember to consult him before choosing your rubber again. You would do much the same thing if you began golf in the old time style and took a caddy with you out on the course. The caddy would cost you 85 cents an hour or more if he was able to overawe you, as he would be, and he would be little more Published by arrangement with Life. Art Invades Arctic Circle; Eskimos in Igloo Musicals Edmonton, Alberta, July 2. Igloo musicales and literary circles may become fashionable amorfg the Es kimos. Dennis Anotok, of Ander son river, leader of sub-polar cogno scenti, has written to Edmonton for a phonograph, forty records of re cent songs and popular novels. His order came by the last mail from Dawson. N Ihe songs are those that have won the plaudits of the cabarets, the kind that jazz connoisseurs describe as "Knockouts, believe me" mam my songs, hula songs, ragtime love, the gamut of blues from cerulean to mdigo, passionate tabasco melodies warranted to heat an igloo when the temperature outdoors is seventy be- Tu... j:.. ... '" iicsc amies win give - the Arctic its first taste of canned mu sic. Cat Cemetery and Nursery Found in Apartment House Boton, July 2. A cat colonv containing forty-two felines, alive and dead, of all shapes, shades arid sizes was discovered when health department and animal rescue league officials forced their wav into ihe apartment of Miss Letty Austin, at No. 108 School street Roxbury. Sixteen dead cats, each neatly wrapped in tissue and , newspaper, enclosed in pasteboard boxes with in wooden cases, were found inside the house, and 26 other tabbies very m;:ch alive disnnrtH dirmui.,.. ;n the yard,- 1 '( " 1 " . flA.lw;JMii'Hili'.iin'r time and money, but this ' view is based on insufficient knowledge of the game. Anybody may grasp the essen tials of golf without so much as taking a club in his hand or ad dressing a ball or a caddy. In fact in the beginning it is better to do your golfing as far away from a golf course as possible, and without either clubs or caddies. Both of these accompaniments of the game tend to confuse the mind and divert it from the business at hand, which is the cultivation of self control. . This any honest golfer will tell you. When you take up golf, first go to a lumber yard and purchase several bundles of lath, which can be had even now at a. very reason able price, as compared to golf clubs, Take these lathes to your bed room, and fqr an houf after arising Dreak trom one to ten ot them over your knee, throw the fragments on the floor and stamp on them. ' Hurl five or six others out of a window, or down an air shaft. This will be the beginning of vour lesson in self control. You will find as time progresses that you will break fewer and fewer of the lathes and throw a smaller number of them out of the window. Now if you did this with clubs, as you would do if you were foolish enough to begin your golf in the old fashioned way, it would entail a very considerable expense. Golf clubs cost from $5 up if you pick out the ones you want, which you never do. ' If you pick out the ones the golf goods salesman or the club profes sional tells you to pick out, which you always do, they will cost con siderably more. Some golfers invest several hun dred dollars in golf clubs alone, merely for the purpose of Wreaking them, which doesn't pay and injures the credit of the nation as all de struction of property is bound to do. Training in Excuses. After you have acquired enough self control so that you can get along with breaking only two or three lathes a day, pip k out the most impudent and self-superior office boy of your acquaintance and apologize to him for everything you do in his presence. If vou sharpen a lead pencil badly, adept at receiving your continued apologies than would the ordinary otrice boy. When the boy has reached the proper pitch of disdain, which boy can easily do, begin to give him small objects to lose about the office and join him in the search for them. Always respect his judgment as to their whereabouts, although you may feel certain that they have been lost in a different place from the one in which he is looking. If he should by' chance find any ot them, tell him he has a wonder. Landlady Uses Horsewhip On Her Musical Tenants Detroit, July , 2. Mr. and Mrs. John Barsby lived in a fashio-nable apartment house, where the rules forbade music of any kind. The Barsbys observed this regulation im plicitly, except for a fife, a xylo phone, a bass viol and a phonograph Mrs. Barsby holds that such a trivial lapse is no justification for a horsewhipping. Accordingly she haled Mrs. Lillie White into court on an assault and battery charge. Mrs. White is manager of the non- musical apartment house. She is al leged to have done the horsewhip ping, employing Mr. and Mrs Barsby as her targets. Mrs. Barsby tcld the judge she and her husband were ordered to move because of the fife, xylophone, bass viol and pho nograph. When they suggested a efund on their rent Mrs. White came to bat with her horsewhip, it was charged. Describing himself as a "Sparkler.'' and being asked what it meant, a witness in a London court said, "I sell imitation diamonds to servant girls." Dress your children be comingly and econom ically. Send ns $1.00 and we will forward you ty parcel poit paid, one pair of rompers that re tail for $2.00. You are able to benefit by our manufacturer's whole sale prices and save two profits. Pacific Romper Manu facturing Co., Pacific Bid;., San Francisco.Cal Write for Catalog. ful eye, and that he is really a re markable boy. It is not at all necessary to use strong language in taking up golf although some golfers hold that it help9. You can, howtver, use strong lan guage just as well in-the home as you can on the golf course, and have more time to think uo ant expressions, as your mind will not be occupied with remembering things that your friends have taught you aoout the game. You will now need only one thing, wrutn is tne advice ot your friends regarding everything you do loud and persistent advice, usually begin ning with, 'you re doing that all wrong. Now watch me do it." If you can survive two weeks of that and still remain the friend of man, you have learned all that golf can teach you, and will never need to buy a club, to pay a caddy or to send in a check for membership dues. (Copyright, 1921. by Bell Syndicate, Inc.) " Tabby Kitten Born With 1921 Plainly Marked on Stomach London, July 2. All London is interested in a kitten that has just been born. It is generally tabby, but on its white stomach is "1921" dis tinctly marked in gray fur. The theory is that before the kit ten's birth the mother's favorite resting place was a spot where a sacked marked "1921"' was continu ally before her eyes. The kitten's, i .. owner reiuses to sen it. "How fortunate it is," remarks a morning paper, "that women are not born with the date of birth on them," Letters From Father To His Son an (Continued From Page One.) "You can't shew wooden legs you can t show folks dym. What 11 1 put in? says the. pro ducer. "Put in fer a title, 'The Admiral Benbow Inn was a faverite meetin' place fer the honest makeral fisher man o' th' village." "Then, after a close-up o' two fishermen playin' checkers in sou' westers, you can run a few hundred feet of our special edycational fillum on th' makeral industry. After that, if you got to kill off the old Dodo, do it with a title: ' . " 'Time, th' Grim Reaper, . sum moned Cap'en . Bones to his last command' That won't do no harm 'cause nobody'll know what you're talkin' about." The Plot Coagulates. From this on, as' you remember th' story, the kid finds th' man in the Cap'en's chest.. I don't know how he got into it unless he at tended the autopsy. At anv rate it showed where the ol' Buzzardjiad burried th' treasure. So he gets hold ot a doctor an a lawyer; what had more time than brains, an' they all sail away on th' Hispaniola to find th' booty. Things might 'a gone fine if everybody on board hadn't been a crook. By the time they got to the island they was about as con genial as an inforcement agent at a bartender s wake. The scenes on the island resemble an open season in a shootin' gallery with the treasure as a prize fer the highest score. The committee o' business men, who must 'a been practisin' in their cellers beforehand, finally win cut an' divide th' gold. The Sensors didn't object to the fillum showin' th' Hispaniola sailin' up an' down outside o' Pasedena, but when they came to the part on the island they most threw a fit. The producer complained if they cut all that out it didn't leave more'n a few hundred feet to the whole fillum, taken the bottom o' the ocean through a glass-bottom boat. Havm' brought the1 hero safe through these perilus adventures they showed him diggin' up the treasure which he immediately in vested in auto dusters fer the na tives. Fer a windup he hoists the American flag to a palm tree while a fellow behind the screen plays Taps on a key-bugle. It must 'a been a Sensor what wrote "There's no Place Like Home." They're doin' a fine work One o' the Sensors suggested that a"' 1 h?Pe before he,v 8et through they string it out by showin' some o' th' flora an' fauna found on the island. But the Chairman says he wasn't goin' to have no heathen Flor an' Fauna doin shimmv Hance.4 in any o' his pictures. . Ihey finally compromised by ad din' on part of an eld fillum called "A Trip Through a California Prune Orchard." That didn't make the reel quite long enough, so they tacked on some hair-raisin' views o' Watch One Corn end in this way . then decide T Learn now the right way to end corns. Apply Blue-jay the liquid or the plaster to one corn. Mark how the pain stops. Watch the corn, in a little while,loosen and come out Stop paring corns it is dangerous. Put aside the old, harsh treatments. Try this new way at once. Blue-jay is the scientific Plaster or Liquid Bluejay The Scientific Com Ender BAUER & BLACK Chicago New York Toronto Mlnm of B & B SteriU Surgical Drawing and Allied Product! method. A famous chemist invented it. This great surgi cal dressing house makes it Countless people use it. Blue-jay is ending not less than 20 million corns a year. A touch applies it The action is gentle, the results are sure and final. Fairness to yourself re quires that you try it if you ever suffer corns. End other foot troubles To keep the feet in fope con. dition. bathe them wtth Blue -jay Foot Soap, k check ezceaaive per spiration. It stop smarting and burn ingv Then use Blue-jay Foot Relief, a soothing, cooling massage for ach ing muscles and tendons. 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