8 B
THE BEE: OMAHA. SUNDAY. MAY 8. 1921.
The Soul of a Heel
There has been many triliteral
combinations known to lame P. D.
Q., S. O. S., F. O. B C. O. D., G. O.
V. and Q. E. D. But the one that
lias struck more terror than S. O. S.
caused more cussing than C. 0. D.,
and had almost as many qualified
charter members as G. O. P., is that
blue notation of the teller's blue
pencil N. S. F.
In the sweet language of the
banker, N. S. F., a trade term, sig
nifies "Xot Sufficient Funds." The
letters are written on checks that
fail to clear because they would take
out more than the undersigned has
in. Some' people can get them
cashed some people have credit
Therefore, X. S. F. on a poor man's
check also means "Not Sufficient
Faith."
Whatever it may hot mean, this is
clear, it means "Xothing doing."
There are many famous stones of
X. S. F. There is the one about the
Ldy wliosc check came back and,
when she indignantly called up the
bank and was told that she had
drawn beyond her balance, she said
it couldn t be because she still had
four checks left. . -There is another
about the man who found N. S. F.
the cryptic triolet,, on one of his
' Pay to the order of" slips, and on
inquiry was told that it meant "Not
Sufficient Funds." He told his wife
about it: "Can you imagine a bank
like the Twelfth National not hav
ing sufficient funds to cash a check
for $14.80?"
, Return-trip checks, or boomerang
pape.r, except the "No account" di
vision, create no criminal liability
except as evidence, of a confidence
game; an N. S. F. check is not'prima
facie felony; the law looks upon it
as an "error," and a civil lawsuit
will utilize one. as a voucher of in
debtedness, but a grand jury will not
act on it unless there is strong col
lateral circumstances to support a
deliberate plot to defraud.
Therefore, many honest men really
grow careless and often get their
bank balances jimmed; many ladies
who keep books in their darling
way just guess at how much they
have on deposit, and now and then
a "kiting" operation gets buckled or
,scme one issues a check with a hope
of "covering" before it reaches its
destination, a hope that goes wrong.
Because issuing a check beyond
the signer's drawing power is no
penitentiary transgression, check
cashing has largely taken the place
of the plain "touch." Many men
cannot borrow, but almost any one
can get a check honored by some
one on this side of the teller's win
dow. Few dare to pass demands on
banks where they are not depositors;
and, if they are depositors, that seems
to give them some standing. Some
men would rather die than have their
John . Hancocks on a dishonored
check; others would much rather
live. ' ' .
This prologue, which might have
been written by the oversigned in
blood almost as well as in ink for
he has suffered is a buffer to the
start of a story. As the quick
imagination of the reader may have
already suspected, it has to do with
an N. S. F. check! Rather, it has to
do with the N. S. F. system of limit
ing a depositor within the bounds of
his deposit instead of letting him
write money like a mint. Or is it
the government that writes money
against the mint? Anyway, you get
the idea.
Harrison Barlow was a rich man.
He had assets, credit, good will and
an established name. No one ever
associated him with anyquestionable
paper.
He also had liabilities; among
them was a peevish, jealous and
skeptical wife. ' '
Mrs. Harrison Barlow did not be
lieve that her husband spent all the
time that he spent away from home
in his offices and '.in his clubs. So
she did that very unwomanly and
very unladylike thing, she engaged
a private detectic agency to spy on
her husband. - -
Sherlock Holmes and other priv
ate detectives had been immortalized
and idealized. There are men like
Pinkerton who .accept certain decent
lines of investigation and remain
honorable. But it is no libel on the
profession to state, ' after years of
close observation1 and intimate con
tact with volunteer gumshoers, that
the large body of them are of an un
savory order, ranging from swill
skimmers to blackmailers. Judges
warn juries that their testimony is
to be regarded with reservation and
suspicion. Juries and prosecutors
and newspapers sniff at their state
ments and usually smell something
rotten there. The-official police hold
them in cold contemot.
Harrison Barlow shared the com
mon opinion of . the lot. And there
was a sneer of. displeasure, mingled
with an expression f curiosity, as
he sat at his desk waiting for the
undersecretary , to usher in the man
whose card lay on his desk Taylor
Rrutt. representing the Acme Detec
tive Service. : , j
' Brutt slouched im Barlow looked
up, expectantly. - Brutt, being a de
tective, did not fortret his detecting.
He took in the office with a com
prehensive glance.- sized up the fit
tings and proportions with studied
mid posed pains, looked rapidly over
both shoulders 'to see whether any
one else was in ear-shot, then slipped
oilily into the chair.
"You wanted to see me?" asked
Barlow. , ":
"Mr. Barlow?"-
"Yes Harrison Barlow."
"How do I know you are Mr. Bar
low?" "Who gives a-fcang whether you
know or don't know? I didn't send
for you. As far as I know, I have
no business with you. You sent
your card to me." If you have any
thing to say that you think I will
listen to, proceed; but don't put on
your cheap tin star mysterious stuff
with rue. What lo you want?"
"You're Mr. Barlow, all right No
body but a rich man would feel so
sure of himself when a detective asks
to see him." '
"My wealth, as far as I can see, is
none of your affairs; and.if you are a
detective that is between you and
yourself. I never heard of you or
your alleged agency. Kindly omit
the comments and state plainly what
you want or get out."
"Thanks; I wilL" .
"Will which?"
"State what I want That is, I
don't exactly know what I want
that is, how much I want That is
for vou to decide."
Barlow rose. "That sounds to mc j
like a shakc-doVn of some sort.
Vlut its basis can.be I have no Mea -
But, before you tell me, let me tell
you: if you've come here to black
mail me you're in the wrong nest,"
"My dear Mr. Barlow, where do
you get this blackmailing stuff?" Yoir
were never further from the facts in
your life. I can do you a service,
and, like most people, when I have
services for sale I ask a price that's
all."
"I don't want any detective work
done."
"This isn't detective work ex
actly. You may not be so rough
when I tell you that Mrs. Barlow
has hired detectives to follow you
wherever you go.
"Whatl"
"Just that. And I'm the man as
signed to the case I'm the operative
what tails you an' trails you an'
writes a report every night, of all
your actions. A .duplicate o' that
report goes to Mrs. Barlow.
"How long has this been going
on?
"It hasn't been it's just gonna
c'mence. Us boys don't pick up
plums like Harrison- Barlow every
day. So I says to myself that I
think I can make a deal with you,
see? If I would o shaddered you
first, then you'd o' said I was try
in' to give you the shake becus I
had it on you. But I come to you
before I begun."
"And what is it? What do you
want? What can you do for me?"
"Well, I've already done a good
bit for you, slippin' you the tip-off
that you're to be watched. So now
you can act accordin' see?"
"I shall act just as I would have.
I have nothing to hide, though it is
rather a sheepish sensation, I fancy,
to know that one is being blood
hounded about."
"Suit yourself about that. Now,
then, my offer is to sneak a copy of
each report to you, so that you'll
know exae'ly what goes to your
wife. Bern' warned, you'll nach'ral
ly see that nothin'll be done that'll
make a bad report. But, if you
wanna lose me for an hour or so any
time well, I'll . listen to reason,
gov'nor. Now, ain't that worth
somethin'?"
Barlow drew up, and for a few
minutes he sat in thought.
"Brutt," he said. "I ought to kick
you out of my office. You are a rat
that isn't on the level even with the
dirty business you typify, that isn't
faithful to the scavenger who em
ploys you or to the misgded per
son who pays you.
"But I have a weak human curi
osity to see reports on myself and to
know what my wife reads about mc.
I shall not betray you either to her
or to your agency. I intend to feel
no gratitude toward you, and you
needn't expect any. But I will pay
you that is I will tip you.
Heart Secrets of a
Fortune Teller
By RACHEL MACK.
A Postponed Wedding.
It's not uncommon for a couple
of young lovers indulgin' in a joy
spree to visit one of those Coney-Island-County-Fair
fortune tellers,
but a serious profession like mine
won't often catch them in. pairs.
They generally come singly and on
the quiet, at that. ;. '
So it's no wonder my interest
was aroused when a dignified man
and girl walked in yesterday and
asked for a consultation together;
There was a hopeless, resigned air
about them that enlisted sympathy.
"We want information relative to
the future," says the man, actin' as
spokesman. "We have been en
gaged for nine years and our mar
riage still seems as impossible as
ever." ,
"WThafs the hold;iip?" I ask.
"Cruel parents 'n everything?"
"No," he answers' seriously, not
being in a mood for light talk, "I
suppose our families are agreeable
enough to our marriage some day.
Nobody seems to have any objection
to our being engaged,- so long as
we're willing to put the wedding off
indefinitely." '
"Strange predicament," I parley,
not yet seeing light. "Let's have a
look at the palms involved. - Right
hands, please 1"
I compare the two hands and find
a similarity o'f tastes and disposi
tions, with a Corresponding history
of facts in the romance lines.
Neither has but one love affair, and
both, love lines run on the same in
cline' and are intercepted by a like
obstacle in the form of a square.
It's perfectly plain to me, with this
data before my eyes, that these two
human beings were made for each
other in the beginning, and I resolve
to remove the aforementioned ob
stacle if it can be done.
"You sec," the girl informs me
n a confidential tone of voice,
"Tom's father is not able to work
on account of his rheumatism, and
Tom's brothers refuse to share the
burden of taking care of him. So
that leaves the entire responsibility
on Tom."
"Is the old man bedridden?" I
enquires.'
"No," Tom speaks up, "only has
it in his left leg, but work of any
sort seems to make him very un
comfortable, and it .seems a shame
to push him to it."
"So that's what's kept the cere
mony waiting for nine years, is it?"
I asks, beginning to get the drift.
"Not entirely," the girl answers. "I
have four younger sisters in my
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"How much do you want, demand
or expect?"
"Oh," said Brutt, "I leave that to
you. Pay me what you think it's
worth. You know better than what
I do what the reports is gonna say
if they're on the square, n' what
you wanna have 'em say if I shad:
for you."
"Let me repeat, there is nothing
in the reports that I want except
the truth and all of it. As for the
value of knowing what's in them,
that will lie entirely in my assuring
myself that you are not lying. And
I suppose that the only way now to
prevent your lying is to pay you
off. You should know what that is
worth, havinz probably set a price
on that sort of work before."
"Well, it depends on" two things
how much there is to keep quiet an'
how rich the party is."
"There is nothing to suppress, ex
cept slanders. As for my wealth,
how much do you suppose I am
worth, as a basis for estimating
what I should give you?"
"Oh, I don't know they call you
a millionaire."
"They do, eh? Perhaps we had
better not go too deeply into that.
'Tell you what I'll do.
"You come in here one month
from today. If I shall have had my
daily report duplicate during that
time, and I find that each report is
true in every detail unsparingly, un
waveringly, and uncompromisingly
true I shall, within reason, let you
name your own fee. You under
stand fix your own value on your
own services to me. Is that satis
factory?" Brutt backed out, bowing, saying
it was more than fair nothing could
be fairer.
During the succeeding month Bar
low received in a plain - envelope,
daily, a thin sheet bearing a copy
of one which went simultaneously to
his wife. He believed that the
copies were true, as they undoubted
ly were, for he knew his wife well
enough to know that had she re
ceived damaging statements he
would have heard from her. His
conduct during the month was ex
emplary.
On the 31st day Brutt called.
"How was them reports?" he, asked.
"They were correct. .
"You bet they waS", , what's my
hand-out?"
"I told you you could name your
own. within a limit."
"Well, what's the limit?"
"Ah. vou'll never know. I have
arranged as follows: I opened a
checking account in the A-B Na
tional bank for this purpose. I de
posited there a certain sum of
money. I have here a check against
that bank, made to the order of
home, and none of them can sew or
cook, so the family have more or
less depended on me for the past 10
years. All the girls, with the excep
tion of one, are still in school, and if
I left home now it would mean en
dangering the education of all of
them."
"And how about the girl who's fin
ished school? It must be about time
for her to step up and take a hand,
ch?" I suggests practically.
"Well," she hesitated "you see
Flossie's to be married next month,
and just now she's busy getting her
trousseau together." ,
"Mon Dieu!" I says to myself
enthusiastically. "We have with us
the original Babes in the .Woods
and they've got to be rescued. Watch
me reduce four selfish young females
to darning their own silk stockings,
and one elderly gentlaman of leisure
with an occasional twinge of rheu
matism in his left limb to carryin'
his own dinner paill Watch me do it
inside 24 hours."
"My dear young friends," I says,
earnestly adjustin' my toitor-shells
and alpplyin' myself to palmistry, "I
see in your hands a strange forecast
the strangest and 'most unusual
forecast, in fact, that its ever been
my privilege to investigate. In the
hand of each, radiating upward from
the line of marriage, is the sign" of
a remarkable deseendent."
Both of them are registerin tense
interest, so I go on:
"This deseendent may represent
the second, third or fourth geners
tion; he is destined for fame and use
fulness; his life , should count for
much to his country; for the two
parties to delay their marriage longer
would be to risk the fulfillment of
this prophecy."
Did it work, you're wonderin'?
Perfectly with only 15 minutes of
argument and a two-hour prepara
tion after nine years of waiting.
They took. the next train for Niagara
and the honeymoon, and I had the
honor of notifyin' two disgusted
families of the happy event. It was
one, of the most amusin' duties that
ever fell to my lot.
And about the deseendent? Oh
that's not on my conscience. They'll
probably start innocuiatin' the first
grandson with the idea that he's go
ing to be president of the U. S. A.
about the time he . cuts his second
molar, but that wjn't injure any
body. In fact, they claim it's the
makin' of a man to feed him on
those lofty ideals from the cradle up.
Next Week "Shattering the
Dream."
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proper line."
"Yes but it don't sav how much."
"No. You are to fill it in."
"Well, how can I fill it in jf I
don't know how much is in the
bank?"
"That is for you. to worry about.
If you write in a sum larger than
the check is good for at that bank,
it will be turned down, N. S. F and
will be valueless. You cannot sue
me on it as you cannot prove con
sideration the law would not call
what you did 'Value received."'
"An' if I fill it out for less I'm
cheatin' myself."
"Quite so. Now. there is no use
in your trying to get any inside in
formation from any of the clerks or
employes of the A-B bank. The
president is a close friend of mine,
and I have had him instruct every
attache that if he violates the bank
ing law by exposing the amount a
depositor has in the bank, especially
in this instance, it will mean dis
missal and disbarment from any
other bank in the national alliance.
You need not snoop around my
confidential employes, either, be
cause in the first place they would
not tell you if they knew, and in
the second they have no way of
knowing, as I made the deposit in
currency."
"Then how do I guess?"
"By your judgment your judg
ment of me and yourself, to guide
you in your judgment of what I
think you think this uunderhanded
piece of . treachery is worth. Here's
vour check. I assure vou I am not
hoaxing you. It is good for what I
think I owe you and no more.
Good day."
Barlow had that morning faced
his wife with his knowledge of her
surveillance on him, and had com
manded her to withdraw the sleuths,
which she had done.
Brutt walked out, blowing on the
check. His head was in a whirl.
He had no idea whether the paper
was worth $10 or $1,000 or maybe
more. Barlow was a millionaire;
true, he obviously disliked Brutt,
but who knew what a millionaire's
estimate would be in the circum
stances? He pondered and pondered and
writhed and writhed. Then he got
an idea. He walked feverishly to
the paying teller's . windqw in the
bank, pushed in the check, and said:
"Mr. Barwol wants to close this ac
count. Please fill it in for the
amount to his credit and give me the
money in large bills."
The clerk examined the paper, then
snipped it back.
"Don't make me laugh," he said.
Brutt put his nose between the
bars and whispered:
"They's a suit o' clo's in this for
you an' it ain't nothin' queer or
crooked, if you'll gi'me a hint on.
how much this ruuns for. You see,
it's mine, an' jf you think I didn't
get it on the level you kin call up
Barlow. Only he's a kidder, see?
Now, this chunk was put in here
jus' for me, but Barlow is havin'
some laughs seem' how much I'm
gonna nick him for. He owes me
his life. He wouldn' care."
The teller pressed a button under
the window, and the bank policeman
came double quick.
"Throw this heel out of here," said
the teller. "He's trying to bribe me
to expose forbidden secrets."
Brutt was on the sidewalk before
he had time to swear. He returned
to his room. He knit his brows and
he poured prespiration. He decided
alternately that the figure he had
fixed on was too much and not near
ly enough. Had Barlow given him
$100 that morning he would have
been overjoyed. Now what if he
was at the threshold of $1,000? He
had never had $1,000. Was it worth
the gamble? It certainly was, and
it was not likely that Barlow would
open an account with less or rate
Brutt's help at less. No. Barlow
had sneered at him. Barlow dis
liked him pointedly. He had prob
ably stuck in $50 or some other low
amount to trick Brutt into taking a
picayune or losing even that.
For two days he trembled over
that check. He lost sleep and ne
glected meals. Once he had fixed
on $100 as a safe medium, and had
written the first figure "1." Then
his hand stopped and he realized that
he had now limited himself to $10
$100 or $1,000. With one for the
first figure, those were the only
choices now. Chances of $250 or
$500 or $300 or $600 were gone.
He cogitated and cogitated. It
was too much for him. He had no
confidence in his own judgments. So
he went to Mike Hillis, a former
private detective, now a note shaver
and loan shark, told him all the cir
cumstances, and put the matter up to
him. Hillis thought a moment and
then said-:
"Give you $150 for the check."
Brutt held out for $280. Hillis re
fused. Brutt asked $175. Hillis gave
it to him.
"Now, what are you gont' a do
with the check?" asked Brutt.
"Cash it," said Hillis.
"For how much?"
"Plenty."
Brutt looked at his $175 a lot of
money, yet not as much as more
money. Had he "done himself?"
Probably. Hillis would not have
bought it had he not been sure to
turn a profitable transaction.
Hillis refused to discuss it any
further. Brutt tried to look as
though he had taken, all the best of
it and went away.
Hillis walked briskly to the A-B
That Impelling Something f
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National, where he wrote in $4,000,
crossing the "1" with an "L." lie
handed it in. The teller refused it.
On what grounds? N. S. F.
"I thought," said Hillis, "that
Barlow's fist would be good for $4,
000 here, no matter what his state
ment shows."
"It would be but in this in
stance we have been asked by Mr.
Barlow himself not to allow an over
draft." Hillis walked out and around the
corner. He entered the C-D Na
tional. "Has Mr. Harrison Barlow got an
account here?" he asked.
The clerk nodded.
Hillis scratched out the name of
the other bank and wrote in the
name of this one. The teller gave
him $4,000 without a question. One
may not tamper with a signature,
with a date, with a payee, with the
amount in numerals or literals on a
check. But one may line out the
printed name of the bank and scrib
ble in any other w ithout harming it.
When Barlow got it back from
the .wrong bank he whistled, then
smiled.
"And I thought Brutt was a piker,"
he soliloquized. "For $4,000 I
could have enjoyed myself that
month."
(Copyright, 192, by Jack Lait.) .
Shimmy Passe, Czarda
Dance Craze in Paris
Paris, May 7. The doom of ' the
shimmy has been sounded in Paris
by no less a person than Archduke
Albert Hapsburg, son of the arch
duke and princess of Croy, first
Austrian archduke to return to Paris
since the war.
The archduke is a slender, hand
some young man,-and was credited
with being the fashion arbiter of
Austria-Hungary before the war.
In place of the shimmy he has in
troduced the- Hungarian Czarda,
choosing as the scene of his innova
tion a charity fete at Calridgc's.
Arriving a trifle late, he found
dozens of couples luxuriously shiver
ing on the floor. "What's that?"
he asked.
"The shimmy," he was told.
"I know one, better than that," he
answered, and forthwith proceeded
to teach two baronesses and a count
ess the mysteries of the Hungarian
national dance. The dance included
six separate hops on each foot, taken
in unison, the dancer holding his
partner close against him.
"It's just like the shimmy, only
more passionate," said the baroness.
Now they dance nothing else at
Claridge's.
Bonuses Are Provided for
Large Families in France
Paris, May 7. As a means of en
couraging French parents to have
more children a special bill passed
in Parliament promises government
aid to parents of large families. A
Frenchman, the father of three chil
dren less than 14 years old and still
living will receive an allowance of
360 francs per year at the birth of
the fourth child. He will receive a
further grant of 390 francs for every
child born after the fourth. Parents
Subjected to income tax will not re
ceive any grant. An attempt to ac
cord these gratifications to illigiti-
mate children .was rejected, it being
pointed out that most of these chil
dren have been taken in by the in
stitute of public relief.
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Must Have Good Tools
VoU cannot expect mother to do
good work if she has not the
proper tools . . . She'll be able
to get through the business of
preparing meals in much less
time with much less effort
with the
Hoosier Cabinet
than she can the Old Way!
The Hoosier centralizes all Kitch
en Work at its fcroad table, a
big, handsome fO ff
Hoosier iptA.UU
$1 Delivers Any Hoosier
Moving and
Shipping
Our big fleet of Auto Vans
insures prompt service at low
est rates. Phone Douglas 1800.
Nationally Advertised
"MAYTAG"
Maytag Electric
Eliminates the Drudgery
of Wash-Day
Such thorough cleansing of heavy
pieces is convincing. Such care
ful handling of dainty, fluffy
things banishes doubt. Such
speed and economy are a joy to
behold washday ceases to be a
perplexing 'problem for mother
with a "Maytag."
. Sold on Easy Terms
I
Maytag Hand Power Washing
Machine
$19.50
at
"Direct Action
Gas Stoves with "Lorain" Oven
Heat Regulator will enable moth
er to cook a whole meal in oven
without watching. She can go
away for from 3 to 6 hours and
upon return find a dinner dcli
ciously done.
Sold on Easy Weekly Terms
A A fc rfnr TTT7T7 ifT I
3f
EiTFinr'H'nK
cm. tsa & Jackson
.
While They Last Special
Wood Plant
Boxes, 79c
These deep 36-inch Jong plant
boxes are strongly put together
and painted green; should last
for years.
Large Steel Plant Boxes with
patented watering
device
Berry Bowls,
at
Good Brooms,
at
Percolator,
$1.29
...29c
.31c
$1.25
... 98c
...27c
...25c
...65c
$3.95
at
Dish Pans, . . .. ..,
at
Rolling Pins,
at only.. .
Long Handle Dust
Pans are
ACME' Ice Cream
Freezers
Good Electric Irons,
at
MARVO Cedar Oil Polish A
larjre ouart bottle. ' Tr7 C
10-Piece Brown Betty Baking.
Sets, are only, d 1 A Q
per set... D 1
Etc. Etc. Etc.
4
Nationally Advertised
"THOR"
Saves Her Rugs Saves
Time Saves Labor
A broom is out of date.
Why let mother continue to stir
up clouds of dust and germs, tire
her arms and have to go all over
the house again dusting when a
"Thor" Electric Cleaner will
glide quickly over her floors,
gathering all the dirt with no
work or dust whatsoever.
A former $55 QQ 7C
Model "THOR". . JOi7. D
Mother Would Enjoy an
Electric
No tiresome
winding, just an
easy-running mo
tor that never
runs down, never
gets out of order.
It is the biggest
value in the pho
nograph world
today at
FREE!
$25.00 Worth
of Records!
$110
V -j&mfM i.v;.v:::Se m. AI I r f m n i i ffM
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Lower Rent Means Lower
Prices
By locating "Out of the High Rent District"
we havt cut that big item of expense RENT
and you profit thereby.
S A L E! j
Monday Bargains! And
look at the dollars
you save.
$52.50 Velvet
$34
50
Rugs, Monday
High-grade 8-3x10-6 rugs in
beautiful floral, Oriental and
small all-over patterns.
Handsome 9x12 Brussels
Rugs, 1920 Price $42.50
$24.50
Fine 8-3x10-6 Tapestry
Rugs, 1920 Price $34.50
$19.75
Nationally Advertised
"GURNEY"
Three Door.
Refrigerator 1
$37.50
Mother would appreciate a Good
refrigerator like this, that would
save food and milk as well as ice.
i
i
Perfect baking,
quick intense
heat or a slow
simmering all
under simple
automatic lever
control. No
smoky wicks to
clean, for as
bestos kindlers
replace them.
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Side Icing f
Kin r- iti
Pr- UJ
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